The Sick Alchemist
by The Flame Alchemist 13
Summary: Roy Mustang had many questions. But no question was as unexplainable to as why he was stuck babysitting a sick Alchemist. Nobody asked if he was okay with it, they just dumped him on his couch and left. Now what was he suppose to do? He wasn't fit taking care of him, he's never even been near a sick child before! Parental!Royed. NOT YAOI!
1. Chapter 1

**The Sick Alchemist**

 _I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 _ **Chapter 1**_

Roy Mustang had many questions. But no question was as unexplainable to as why he was stuck babysitting a sick Alchemist. Nobody asked if he was okay with it, they just dumped him on his couch and left. Now what was he suppose to do? He wasn't fit taking care of him, he's never even been near a sick child before!

Ed was snoring, and quite loudly in fact. It was becoming quite annoying. He's been debating over whether or not he should wake him but decided against it. Better a sleeping Fullmetal than a conscious one. He was quite when he was sleeping, save for the constant snoring.

But what was he going to do. Alphonse was in Resembool, Hawkeye was at the store, and for some reason every subordinate of his had just disappeared without any reason. Just his luck. In about ten minutes time he was allowed to go home, but what was he going to do with the runt passed out on his couch. It wasn't like he could exactly leave Ed in his dorm. What if he woke up in the middle of the night worse? The only reasonable option was to bring Ed to his own house, but then everything might get contaminated with the germs, and who knows if the kid has the black plague. Well, that seemed a little unlikely, but it was always possible.

Where was Hawkeye when he needed her. She was good with kids, right? Nothing like him. He couldn't so much as look at a child without thinking of what he did all those years back in that bloody war. But Fullmetal was different. He was more of an adult than a child. At least that's the side Roy's seen. Sure, he acted like a kid at times, but he took on the responsibility of an adult.

The pipsqueak. He worked too hard, harder than any other kid. Maybe Roy should give him more days off? No, that'll just mean Roy would have to work extra hard, and he wasn't up to that. Selfish, huh?

A soft groan broke the silence of the room and Roy turned to look in the direction of the couch where Ed lay sleeping. He groaned again and rolled over, his hand unconsciously curling into a fist. Something must have been wrong. Roy silently got out of his desk and walked over to the couch. Better he find out what's wrong before Ed's groaning gets louder.

"Hey, Fullmetal." Roy snapped his fingers to get Eds attention but the blond never reacted. Roy slowly reached out a hand to shake Ed's shoulder but held back. Should he wake him or just let him sleep? Something might be seriously wrong with him, but he might just be dreaming. Yeah, he's probably having a dream of some sort.

Satisfied with the decision, Roy headed back to his desk and sat down, ignoring the occasional groan coming from Ed. Soon enough the small sounds ceased to exist and the room was once again plunged into silence.

But he couldn't rid himself of the gnawing feeling deep in his gut. Did he make the right decision to let Ed continue sleeping? _Just stop thinking about it, you'll only stress yourself out._

Making the decision to listen to the voice in his head, Roy began to quietly sign the pile of papers in front of him. In less than five minutes he'll be able to go back home. But he still had that one small problem. What was he going to do with Ed?

Just then the solution to his problem walked straight into his office in the form of a gun bearing Lieutenant. The sniper glanced over at Ed before walking over to Roy's desk and handing him a small shopping bag.

"I picked these up at the store." She momentarily glanced behind her at Ed before turning back to Roy. "Is Edward any better?"

Roy only shrugged as he searched through the contents of the bag. Apparently Hawkeye had gone to the store with only Ed in mind because the contents of the bag were Tylenol and chicken noodle soup. Roy glanced up at her.

"Why would I need this?" he asked, genuinely curious. He dread the answer.

"Because you're going to take care of Edward until Alphonse comes back," she said simply. "It's not like he's capable of taking care of himself like that." She pointed a finger at the blond on the couch.

Roy's mouth fell open, unable to contain his surprise. She actually _told_ him that he had to babysit Fullmetal. Life wasn't fair. "But I don't know to take care of kids," he insisted. Adding in a whispering voice, "And me and Fullmetal not exactly get along well."

"Then you're going to have to suck it up and stop complaining, sir." Sometimes that woman got on his nerves, but he knew better than to argue. Just last week he said he was done with paper work and ended up doing twice as much as he had before all the while having a gun to his head.

"But what if he gets sick when he's at my place?" Roy demanded, trying to talk himself out of having to take care of Ed without putting his life on line. The gun was clearly strapped to her side.

"Then you're going to have to help him," Hawkeye answered.

Did that woman have an answer for everything?

Think Mustang, think! He didn't want to care for Ed, he really didn't. he barley even knew the pipsqueak. Hell, he wasn't even sure if Ed wouldn't have a fit if he woke up at his place. And that was probably what was going to happen.

But as he happened to glance over at Ed, he felt a pang of guilt. Just looking at him Roy knew that he was too sick to do much of anything. His pale face with flushed cheeks, his uneasy breathing. Maybe he should just give in and look after Ed.

 _It's just until Alphonse gets back_ , he told himself. _No Mustang, stop letting yourself be manipulated by him! He's playing you!_

Great, now there were two voices in his head yelling at him. What was he going to do? Ed was a strong kid, but he was also sick. Being sick effected your performance. "What do you think I should do?" Now he was asking for advice, that's how impossible this decision was.

Hawkeye gave him a hard look. "Just take him to your place. It's only for a few days, how hard can that be? Edward needs an adult to take care of him. He's not going to last long by himself. The only reason he's not injuring himself every day is because Alphonse is keeping him out of fights. That's how much he needs someone."

Roy contemplated what Hawkeye had said for a minute before finally giving in. "I'll take him. But if you help out. I can't do it alone." And now he willingly announced that he was pretty much clueless. Which he was. Something was seriously wrong with him. Maybe he caught whatever sickness Ed had? When he got back to his place he should check his own temperature. Who knows what he's picked up?

"Sir, I suggest you get going," Hawkeye spoke up. Roy nodded and rose up from his seat. "And sir, make sure to make Ed comfortable. I'll be over soon with dinner."

Roy nodded and walked over to the couch where Ed was still sleeping soundly. He reached out a hand and softly shook Ed's shoulder, hard enough to wake him yet soft enough to not scare him. But no matter what he did Ed wouldn't wake. It was annoying.

"He's not waking up," Roy reported. The frustration was easily noticeable in his voice. Why did the kid have to be so damn stubborn?

"Then just picked him up," Hawkeye suggested. Her reply startled Roy.

Roy didn't like that option at all, but he had no other choice. He hooked one hand behind Ed's back and the other behind his knees. Silently the counted down from three and once it hit 'one' Roy lifted Ed off the couch, surprised by how heavy he was. A pipsqueak shouldn't weigh that much. Then he remembered the automail and discovered for the first time just how heavy Ed's limbs were.

It must take a lot out of him. A kid his height shouldn't be forced under that burden. Another reason he was sick, perhaps? Hawkeye grabbed Roy's things for him because he had his hands full with a sick child. As he walked down the hall Ed's head fell against his shoulder and stayed that way.

He looked so peaceful. If he ever found out that Roy carried him through the halls of central HQ he would most likely die of embarrassment. Better keep it a secret so he didn't lose a subordinate. Luckily they didn't run into any officers in the halls who wouldn't hesitate to spread rumors and made it to the car in no time at all.

Roy had a difficult time maneuvering Ed into the passengers seat. His body was slack and kept falling over. Roy finally managed to buckle Ed's seat belt and close the door without harming either of them. Hawkeye handed Roy his things back and before she left she added, "Don't forget to make Ed comfortable once you get back to your place. And I'll be at your place at six to help with dinner."

Roy nodded and got into the car. He waved his arm before driving down the street. The mission: Bring a sick Ed to his house without him waking up so he wouldn't be sick in the car!

* * *

Mission complete! Roy successfully managed to make it to his place without Ed waking up and getting car sickness. Roy was currently trying to make a makeshift bed on the couch for Ed so Roy could keep an eye on him but he didn't know where to start.

How many pillows did Ed need? Was a blanket necessary? It was several long minutes of pointless struggling before Roy lifted the still sleeping Ed out of the armchair and laid him across the surface of the couch, his head resting in the single pillow Roy had thrown down. The Colonel pulled a blanket over his shivering body and took a step back to look at his masterpiece. Well, it wasn't quite a masterpiece, but it was the best he could do.

Roy turned around to head to his book shelf when he heard a small cough and a groan coming from behind. Turning around, Roy found Ed starting at the roof, his only expression full of confusion. Roy walked over and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

Ed turned and stared at Roy for a minute. "Colonel, what are you doin' in my dorm?" His question was mumbled.

Roy offered a light-hearted smile. "Hawkeye found you passed out of your floor earlier when she went to get your report. She brought you to my office and now you're here. And you're apparently sick."

"'M not sick," Ed muttered. He then tried to sit up, only to fall back down onto the couch with a thump muffled by the blanket beneath him.

"Yes you are. Now stop pushing yourself and get some rest." Roy pushed his hand gently onto Ed's forehead. "And I think you're fever's enough proof to show that you're sick."

"Bring me back to my dorm."

"No."

Ed was about to give a retorted response when he broke into a coughing fit that prevented him from saying much. Roy just stood by silently until Ed's coughing had died down before kneeling beside the couch and pulling the blanket back up to Ed's shoulders.

"Get some rest, will you?" he said softly. "And if you feel sick just tell me." He rose to leave but added one more important order before heading to do what he was going to do before Ed distracted him. "If you ever feel like you're going to throw up don't hide it from me. I don't want to have a mess everywhere."

Ed rolled so he was facing the other way and muttered, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you wish, bastard."

Roy sighed and grabbed a book from his shelf before taking a seat in the armchair and opening it to the first page and beginning to read. After reading several pages he glanced up at Ed and noticed the pipsqueak was curled in a tight ball and was shivering beneath the blanket.

"Fullmetal, you alright?" Roy called.

"Sh-shut up," Ed muttered before curling tighter and burying his head in the blanket.

Something told Roy that Ed wasn't alright but he just ignored it for now. It wasn't until he heard the sharp grunt that he looked up from his book to find Ed sprawled out on the couch, the blanket untouched on the floor.

"Ed, did you drop the blanket?" Roy asked.

"Colonel, think I'm gonna be sick," Ed whispered.

Roy shot up from his chair. The kid was going to be sick. What was he going to do? They never went over this in military training. Doing the first thing that came to mind, Roy dashed from the room and into the kitchen, grabbed the trash can, dumped the trash on the floor, and ran back into the living room. He made it there just in time. Looks like he wasn't going to have to wash his carpet today.

Ed leaned over the trash can, his entire body shaking and his hand gripping his stomach tightly. He made a sound that was a cross between a cough and a gag as he threw up most of the contents in the stomach. Ed's eyes widened momentarily before they snapped closed.

Roy could only stare at the suffering boy with pitying eyes. What was there to do? The kid would feel better once he was done, right? But how he just sit there and watch him going through this torture? Another cough as more vomit ran out of Ed's mouth and into the bucket that had been placed onto the ground. The trembling grew and he looked like he was ready to pass out. There was pretty much no color in his skin, just pure milky white flesh. Roy's hand reached out without thinking as his hand landed gracefully on top of Ed's trembling shoulder.

Ed's wave of sickness lasted only a few minutes but when he was finally finished he just collapsed where he was, his automail arm dangling over the side of the couch and swaying slightly.

"Ed, it's alright," Roy began. But then he noticed something different. Ed's hand was shakily wiping his eyes as his breathing sped up. "Hey, relax, it's over."

"Sorry," Ed whimpered, "I'm sorry"

"There's no need to be sorry," Roy said softly, sitting Ed up on the couch. That's when Roy realized what Ed's wiping away. The kid was crying. "Hey, you don't have to cry." Now what was he going to do? He didn't know how to take care of a sick kid and now he was crying. This wasn't his day.

Roy reached into his pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief and began to wipe off Ed's face. The boy was too sick to really care. He began to shake and Roy grabbed the blanket off the floor and pulled it around Ed, who pushed himself closer to Roy, burying his head in the wooliness of the blanket.

Definite proof that Ed was indeed sick. If he wasn't he would be using Roy as a pillow, and he certainly wouldn't have been crying. This must be taking a lot out of him. Roy finished wiping the sick off of Ed's face and hair ends before he tossed the handkerchief to the ground and pulled the boy closer to him, feeling the heat generating off his shivering body.

Ed's hand gripped Roy's pant leg loosely and he tilted sideways so he was fully leaning on Roy, who wrapped his arm around Ed's frail body, allowing a small smile to grace his face. He could get use to this. Too bad Ed wasn't sick all the time.

The room fell silent as they sat there, and the silence was something Roy really enjoyed. His hand drifted to Ed's forehead and noticed that his fever was still there, and it seemed worse than before. He made a mental note to get a thermometer next time he got up.

There was a knock on the door and Roy knew that he had to answer it. Knowing Hawkeye she would be very pissed if she was ignored. Making sure that Ed wouldn't wake up, Roy silently rose to his feet and headed for the door. Standing outside was Hawkeye, carrying a small bag in her hand.

"Good evening, Lieutenant," Roy greeted.

"How's Edward?" She asked.

Not even a greeting. How rude. "I think he's gotten worse," Roy admitted. "He threw up about ten minutes ago and then began to cry. He's sleeping now, and that I'm glad of."

Hawkeye nodded sympathetically. "I understand. I have some food for him, and some tea. I think it'll be fine for him to drink."

Roy nodded and invited Hawkeye inside. She followed Roy into his living room and when she saw Ed she frowned.

"He looks worse than when I found him," she said softly, pointing out the obvious. When Ed first arrived in Roy's office that morning the only thing off about him was the fact that he was unconscious and was slowly developing a slight fever. But now he was as pale as a ghost, shaking from cold, sweating, and just threw up. Not to mention the fact that he was just crying a minute ago.

Ed stirred but didn't wake up. His left hand loosely gripped the blanket while his right hung off the couch limply. He truly looked terrible, even worse than when Hawkeye carried him into his office. Hawkeye prodded Roy's shoulder.

"Sir, can I use your kitchen to make Ed dinner for when he wakes up?" She asked.

Roy immediately nodded his head. Good, he wasn't going to have to make Ed dinner. It wasn't like he knew how to cook in the first place. A few years back he attempted to cook chicken with his flame alchemy, but it didn't go the way he planned. He ended up having to take Havoc to the hospital because he was the one who tried to put the fire out...with a broom. That was the last time he tried that. And that was the last time he allowed Havoc anywhere near the kitchen when someone was cooking.

"Thank you, sir." Hawkeye made her way to the kitchen, leaving Roy alone with Ed. The Colonel sat down in the armchair and sighed.

Some day he was having. What was he going to do if Ed threw up again? He wasn't prepared for it, not one bit. It was then he noticed that Ed was awake and staring at him. He blinked once before pulling the blanket further over his trembling body.

Roy got out of his chair and walked over to Ed. He smiled down at him softly. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like hell," was Ed's only mumbled reply.

"Do you need anything? Are you hungry?" Roy asked.

Ed only shook his head, but his gaze remained on Roy. With no idea what to do, Roy just smiled until Ed smiled back. It was a fake smile, a forced gesture to show that he was fine. But Roy could tell that Ed was silently suffering.

Roy could see the sweat rolling down Ed's face and how much he was shaking. Roy made a mental note to get Ed another blanket later and maybe a cold cloth.

"Tired...gonna sleep." Ed yawned let his eyes slide closed. "Night...Bastard"

Roy let a small smile cross his face. "Good night, shrimp."

But the boy was already asleep.

* * *

 **A/N...Hello to all of you who decided to read this chapter till the end. This was originally suppose to be a one-shot but after the word count became greater that 10,000 I decided to make it multiple chapters. Still not done writing it and since everything I write never has a set plot and has a chance to go on forever.**

 **Was it good? Bad? What did you like? I'd really appreciate any feedback. The next chapter will come out whenever I decided to proof read it and all that stuff. I hate proofreading. Well that's it. Hope you enjoyed :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 _ **Chapter 2**_

The next day Roy silently walked into his bedroom. The night before he had carried Ed up a flight of stairs only to remember that he only had one bedroom in his house. Well, there was his study, but the place was so messy that he wouldn't be surprised if he found mushrooms growing in the cracks between the floorboards. So the only option was to let Ed get his bed. His own bed. Roy as forced to sleep on the couch and that wasn't a very pleasant experience.

He walked over over to Ed and looked down at him. The blond was still sound asleep, wrapped in two blankets, and mumbling nonsense under his breath. Roy gently placed his hand on Ed's forehead. It felt significantly cooler than last night, but it was still warm. Maybe a few more days at most he would have to look after Ed. As he made his way out of the room he heard a small voice whisper his name. Roy turned around and found Ed sitting up in the bed, staring in his direction.

Roy sighed and walked over, gently pushing Ed back down. "You're suppose to be sleeping."

Ed coughed. "'M not tired. And I'm sick of lyin' around in bed."

"You've been lying in bed for, what, A day? I think you can suck it up for another hour." Hopefully the brat would listen now.

Ed breathed out a small breath. Roy tried to head out of the room again but he felt a tugging on his wrist. Turning around, he saw Ed staring up at him with large, golden, owl-like eyes.

"What is it, Ed?" Roy asked. Ed would never do what he just did. Never. It was against the pipsqueaks code of conduct.

"I." Ed pried his eyes away from Roy as if he was embarrassed. But it was hard to tell because his cheeks were already flushed. "I don't want to be left alone." He whispered what he said but Roy could still hear it in the silent room. Ed didn't want to be left alone? Why not?

"But I have to go. And you need to get rest," Roy insisted, but Ed shook his head.

"I can rest downstairs. It's too stuffy in here and opening a window would make it cold."

Roy could tell that Ed was lying. There was just no way he'd want to be downstairs with Roy when he was able to be far away from him in a comfortable bed. But the look in Ed's eyes, it was fear. Ed was scared, truly scared of something. Roy sighed and reluctantly agreed to let Ed come downstairs but only if he was going to rest and not bother him.

Ed rose out of the bed but was very unsteady on his feet. Roy had to hold him upright as he draped a thin blanket over Ed's shoulders and guided him across the room. Ed didn't complain that he was so close to Roy, in fact, he seemed to be walking closer than he needed to.

By the time they got down stairs Ed was clearly tired. Being sick and walking down a flight of stairs wasn't pleasant. The blond gratefully collapsed onto the couch and sighed with relief that he was finally sitting down.

Once he made sure Ed wasn't going anywhere, Roy walked into the kitchen and pulled the thermometer out of the bag Hawkeye had given him. Better just check to see how bad Ed's fever was. He walked back into the room to find Ed lying flat on his stomach and watching Roy with curious eyes.

"Open your mouth," Roy ordered when he was sitting beside the couch. Ed only gave him confused look. "I said open your mouth. Now."

This time Ed obeyed and was greatly surprised when Roy stuffed the thermometer into it. "Hey, what gives?" He mumbled around the glass.

"Shut your mouth." Roy stared Ed down, causing the blond to shrink lower as if he was scared of Roy. About a minute passed before Roy took the thermometer out and gave it a quick glance. "You're fevers still pretty high. Are you feeling alright?"

"I have a headache. And I think there's a circus going on in my stomach. I'm gonna sue them," Ed mumbled. A circus in his stomach? There was no doubt that the blond was sick.

"Sue who?" Roy asked, wanting nothing more than an answer to that odd mumble.

"The circus in my stomach," Ed responded. "They never gave me anything except a stomach ache. I deserve half of what they make." He ended it with a smile. But he was hiding something and Roy knew it. The smile was a fake one to hide what was really bothering him. But Roy knew it was best not to pry. If Ed wanted to tell him then he could tell him. If not, then he didn't have to. Simple as that.

"You hungry?" Roy asked to break the uncomfortable silence that had dominated the room.

Ed only gave his head a quick shake, his face draining of the little color it had. "I...I don't think I'll be able to keep it down."

"You'll have to eat eventually," Roy told him. "If you throw it up I don't care. You won't know unless you try."

Ed bit his lower lip before pulling the blanket over his head, hiding from view. Roy sighed and rose to his feet. Sooner or later Ed was going to come out, and when that happened Roy was going to go ahead and ask what was bothering him. Maybe sharing it would lessen the pain?

Roy walked into the kitchen to make himself some food. Just that day he was able to take a day off of work to look after Ed but he was going to have to find someone to watch him tomorrow when he had to go to the office. A turkey sandwich was when he decided to eat that morning. Not much of a breakfast but he was running low on food. He was planning on going to the store after work today but now that he was stuck with the burden of Ed it looked like his original plan wasn't going to go as he planned.

After quickly wolfing down the dry turkey and stale bread sandwich Roy walked back into the living room to find Ed awake but staring at the far wall with blank eyes. Whatever was bothering him was getting worse. Roy headed over and waved his hand in front of the blank face too get any reaction from the sick boy. Ed blinked a few times before shaking his head and looking up at Roy. The boy looked sad and terribly depressed.

"Ed, you alright?" Roy asked, his voice soft.

Ed bit his lower lip again as his breathing hitched. "It's nothing," he said after a long hesitation. His head landed back on the pillow he was using and he made sure not to look at Roy. Was he hiding something from his superior officer?

"What's wrong?" Roy tried. Nothing. He placed his hand on Ed's shoulder and put himself in front of the boys face so Ed had no choice but to stare at Roy. He could have easily looked away or closed his eyes but Ed just continued to stare at Roy for several long minutes, never once uttering a word. It was after several minutes passed that Ed finally spoke.

"My mother," was the first thing he said. His voice caught in his throat but he painstakingly continued in a broken voice. "She died of a disease. Several years ago. It started off as a simple cold, but got worse. It developed into the flue, and then..." Ed looked down and Roy could tell he was on the verge of breaking. "And I had to watch her suffer. I couldn't do anything. I'm scared, Roy, I'm scared that I'll get worse like her. That's why I sent Al to Resembool. I was too scared. I-"

Before he was able to continue Roy pulled him closer to him, holding him in a strong grip. "It's alright. You only have the flu, nothing worse. You're going to get better. You're not going to die."

"But I almost did earlier," Ed whimpered. "I was in my dorm and I couldn't breathe."

Roy's eyes widened but after some thought he knew what was happening. "You weren't dying. I'm pretty sure you were just having a panic attack. You're alright."

Ed buried his head in Roy's neck. Wetness slid down his neck and Roy knew immediately that the wetness was tears. Ed's hands was curled around Roy's shirt and his body trembled. Roy grabbed the blanket Ed was using and wrapped it around him. If the kid wasn't so sick he wouldn't have been doing all of this. But since he was...well, Roy could get use to it.

He gently ran his hand through Ed's hair, feeling the dampness from the sweat that he was covered in. "It's alright, Ed." Ed's hand squeezed tighter and his soft sobbing died down to a few sniffles and died down from there to nothing more than a whisper of breath.

Roy pulled Ed away from him and felt a smile spread across his face. Ed was sleeping and he fell asleep on Roy's shoulder. The second time he fell asleep with Roy in the past two days. How mad and embarrassed he was going to be when he was well again. Better enjoy this Ed when he could.

Roy laid Ed back on the couch and pulled the blanket up to his chest. Hopefully Ed would feel better when he woke up.

* * *

Roy could tell Ed was feeling terrible that night. The boy was curled up in Roy's bed, hand clutching his stomach, his face pale and sweaty. Roy was situated beside the bed in the chair he had brought up. The entire evening Ed was complaining of his stomach hurting and finally about ten minutes ago he threw up the little serving of food he ate earlier that day.

"I hate this," Ed mumbled. He spread out on the bed and pulled the blanket tighter around him. "It's cold," he complained.

"I know. I'm sorry I can't give you another blanket," Roy apologized softly. He reached forward and picked up the damp cloth that had fallen off of Ed's forehead when he was throwing up and placed it back onto the warm to the touch forehead.

A shiver passed through Ed's body at the sudden coolness and he reached up to remove it but Roy pulled his hand gently away. "I'm sorry. I'm just trying to bring down your fever, it's getting too high."

"I was always worse at night," Ed muttered. "Al was sicker during the day. But night was my turn."

Roy sighed. Ed rolled so he faced Roy and gave him a worn out look. "I'm tired, but I feel like I'm gonna do it again."

Roy pushed Ed's bangs out of his face and gave him a soft smile. "Don't hold it in, you'll feel better when you're done."

"But I hate doin' it." Ed moaned.

Roy sighed. He remembered the last time he was sick and was throwing up. It was torture, worse torture than the ancient Xinese could ever think of. And they had some pretty horrible ways of torturing people "You'll get better soon. Just try to get some sleep."

Ed actually listened. His eyes slid closed and his breathing slowed. It was only minutes later when snoring filled the room, the sure sign that the little Alchemist was sick.

Roy watched Ed sleeping and felt himself growing tired too. Soon enough his eyes slid closed and he, too, was asleep.

* * *

Ed's eyes opened slowly. Everything was out of focus and he had a hard time thinking straight. But one thing made complete sense. His stomach flipped upside down and he felt all of the color drain from his face. Roy was sleeping in a chair beside the bed Ed was using. He had to wake him up now!

"Colonel, Roy," Ed pleaded. He gagged. "Roy, please."

Roy's eyes shot open and he stared down at Ed, not fully understanding what was happening. "Ed, you're suppose to be sleeping."

"Gonna...be sick..." Ed whispered, gagging again.

Roy's eyes widened in surprise as he shot to his feet and pulled Ed out of the bed. "Just hang on a little longer," he said quickly as he dragged the sick boy across the room and into the bathroom. Ed was surprised that he actually made it that far. The second the got into the bathroom, which was thankfully attached to Roy's room, Ed threw himself over the toilet seat and began to cough.

His eyes snapped shut when he felt the bile rise up his throat and taint his mouth with the disgusting taste. He gasped for breath and felt his heart raced in his chest. _This can't be happening. This is what happened to mom. I watched her do this. There wasn't anything I could do but feel helpless._

This can't be the disease, It just can't. Ed gagged and retched hard into the toilet. Sweat and tears ran down his face and he felt Roy sitting beside him, holding back his hair, his arm over his shoulder.

Was his stomach trying to wring itself out completely? Well, it certainly felt like it. Several minutes passed before the vomit decreased and a minute later he was only dry heaving.

He leaned back and Roy held him gently, running his hand through his hair and wiping away whatever remained on Ed's face. The blond was to exhausted to do much of anything. He couldn't even stand. His eyes remained closed and his breathing slowed. His chest felt unusually tight but he just figured that it was because of throwing up.

"E-Ed." Roy's voice was shaking and Ed could tell he was trying hard not to show his fear. He wasn't doing a very good job. "I'm going to bring you back to your bed. I want you to stay there, okay?"

Ed only nodded and felt Roy lift him off the ground. At that moment Ed didn't care one bit. It wasn't like he was able to walk anyway. Roy laid him gently in the bed and pulled the blanket up to his neck before disappearing from the room. Ed wondered where he went but he was too tired to care.

But he never slept. He wasn't going to let himself have the same fate as his mother.

* * *

"Hawkeye, Ed's worse," Roy said nervously into the phone he held up to his ear. He was still shaken up by what he saw when Ed threw up. It wasn't only vomit, but a fair amount of blood as well. Maybe Ed was right to worry, maybe he really had caught his mother's disease, no matter how unlikely it seemed.

" _Sir, why are you calling? It's three in the morning,"_ Hawkeye said from the other end. She sounded tired. Roy probably just woke her up.

"It's Ed," Roy said quietly so Ed wouldn't her even though the kid was already knocked out. "He's worse. Much worse. He woke up a few minutes ago and began throw up. And it was _blood_ Lieutenant. Ed was throwing up _blood_."

"Hang on, I'll be right over." Then the line went dead, leaving Roy to stand in the kitchen alone.

Roy headed back upstairs to check on Ed. When he got there he found the boy sitting up in bed, propped up with one shaky arm, and staring at Roy with large, round eyes. He looked terrified.

"I knew it," he whispered. "I threw up blood didn't I?" He sounded close to breaking. "It happened before you found me. I was coughing up blood, right after Al left." Tears glistened in his eyes. "I'm dying like mom aren't I."

Roy shook his head and went over to sit beside Ed, pulling the boy closer to him. Ed, trembling, burying his head in Roy's shirt, truly believing that he was going to die. The entire time Ed stayed with Roy, he could tell that he was trying to hide the fact that he was sick, and he was now even though he could barley sit upright.

 _You're not going to die_ , Roy thought, wanting more than anything to say that to Ed but he couldn't find the words. _I promise you that._

* * *

 **A/N...Thank you so much Breena, PinkishFiction, BigChillFreak, and AttackonEverything for reviewing. I can't believe people actually liked my story. This was going to be a quick and simple one-shot but I decided to give it a detailed plot. Hope you enjoyed reading this and I'd love to read your feedback.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 3_**

Hawkeye arrived just like she promised and walked upstairs to find a rather pale Roy holding a barley conscious Alchemist in his arms. She walked forward and peered closely at Ed. The dry blood on his chin was enough proof that something was wrong. Ed was staring at her with half closed eyes but all of a sudden they widened and he doubled over, one hand on his stomach. When he began to cough his hand shot to cover his mouth and he coughed violently into that. Blood seeped through his slightly parted fingers and ran down his arm or landed silently on the bed sheet. Ed made several horrible chocking sounds and Roy grabbed him by his shoulder, pulling him back and removing his hand from his mouth.

"Don't swallow it," Roy ordered. He watched as Ed shakily removed his hand from his mouth and freely coughed up an insane amount of blood.

"Roy," Ed gasped. "Hard...breathe."

Then he slumped back into Roy's chest. Roy swore before gathering Ed in his arms and running for the door. "Lieutenant, I'm taking Ed to the hospital, come on."

Hawkeye nodded her head and followed Roy, who ran out of the house to his car, never even bothering to throw on a pair of shoes.

* * *

Roy sat silently beside Ed's hospital bed, holding the boys hand gently in his own. It was the next day around noon. They had taken Ed there the night before but he still hasn't woken up. The worse thing was that Ed's fear had come true. It wasn't as bad as hers but it was still pretty bad. The symptoms were that of a cold or flu, depending on the person, but over time as the disease progresses, and it starts showing its true symptoms. Usually nausea, dizziness, fatigue, coughing up blood, erratic breathing, slow pulse. But in extreme cases or untreated ones they usually result in death or the victim goes into a coma. But since they found Ed's so quickly he was most likely going to survive.

He was coughing up blood and having trouble breathing because the disease attacked the lungs and tore a small hole right through his left one. Since the disease was only in it's beginning stages it shouldn't have done that yet but because Ed was already sick to begin with his immune system was already weakened and the disease was able to attack him easier.

When he arrived at the hospital he had to go through surgery because of the punctured lung or it could have gotten worse. He was fine now, but still unconscious from the anesthesia.

Ed was now lying on his back in a white hospital bed, his chest bound with bandages and a thin blanket pulled over his bare chest. Since his mother died, a cure for the disease was discovered, but the price was outrageous. But Roy had just enough in his savings to pay for it, and that's exactly what he did. The plan was once Ed awoke the doctors would administer the first dose of of medication to see if his body could handle it. If it did, Roy would be given a weeks supply of medicine and Ed would be able to go home, but only if he got enough rest.

There was a soft knock on the door and Roy allowed whoever was out there to come in. The door squeaked open and Hughes walked in. "Hey Roy, how's Ed?"

"He's better, but." Roy stared at Ed sadly. "He somehow managed to come in contact with the same disease that killed his mother."

Hughes nodded. "I heard from Hawkeye. Do you know when he can leave?"

"Hopefully later on today," Roy said, recalling what the doctor had told him earlier. "But he can't leave until he's awake and the doctors are sure the medication won't have any negative effects on his body."

Hughes nodded. "Gracia told me that she's willing to make you and Ed dinner tonight. If you want, I'll drop it off around six."

"Thanks, that'll be great." Roy turned his full attention back to Ed. He faintly heard Hughes say goodbye and the door shutting before he looked up.

"He gone?" A sleepy voice murmured.

Roy snapped his attention back downwards and saw Ed staring at him. His eyes were drooping down but Roy figured that was just because he was exhausted. "How long have you been awake?" He asked.

"Few minutes, maybe?" Ed seemed unsure about the length of time. "Is it bad?"

"Is what bad?" Roy asked, worrying about how much of his and Hughes' conversation he heard.

"The disease. Am I gonna die, 'cause I'm not ready," Ed whisered, his voice trembling slightly.

"Don't worry," Roy reassured. "You're going to be fine. There's a cure for the disease and the doctors are going to give it to you soon."

Ed nodded. "Can you do it now? I wanna get it over with."

Roy nodded, told Ed he'll be right back, and went to find Ed's doctor. Luckily he found him passing by in the hall and Roy called him over, informing him that Ed was awake and wanted to get the medication now. The doctor nodded and went to get it ready. Roy walked back into the room and smiled softly down at Ed, who was lazily staring at Roy as he entered.

"They're coming now."

Ed nodded. He glanced down at the floor from where he was lying and Roy swore he saw Ed's lip tremble. Figuring it was just his imagination, Roy pushed the thought aside. In about a minute the doctor and nurse walked into the room, the nurse pushing a small cart. Ed's eyes widened at the many needles on it.

"Relax, it's not as bad as it looks," the doctor reassured, probably noticing Ed's sudden terror filled eyes.

The nurse walked over and helped Ed sit up in the bed. The boy was still sore from the surgery. She filled a syringe and faced Ed. "I'm just gonna poke your arm with this for a second. It's not going to hurt."

Ed looked like he was about refuse but Roy put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you dare throw a fit," he ordered in a low voice.

Ed swallowed nervously and reluctantly let the nurse take his left arm. She disinfect the inside of the elbow and pushed the point of the needle into the vain. Ed flinched and Roy had to hold him down so the nurse could finish her job.

Three needles and two pills later Ed looked on the verge of passing out. The nurse packed up her things and stood off to the side of the room as the doctor explained the possible side effects. Drowsiness, dizziness, parched mouth, hot and cold flashes, high fever. And a bunch more that Roy had to write down just to remember.

For the rest of the day Ed sat in the hospital bed, the nurse watching closely for any negative effects. Ed's face remained drained of all color but Roy and the nurse figured that he was still greatly shaken up from the needles. The reason they thought this was when Ed was taking a nap earlier he was muttering about 'evil needles', so it wasn't very hard to figure out.

It was around five when Ed was allowed to leave. The doctor and nurse both agreed that Ed was coping with the medication. Before they left Roy helped Ed change into a pair of his old baggy clothes that Hawkeye had luckily brought because she said that Ed's were covered in blood and these were much more comfortable. Since Ed was still in a daze and was unsteady on his feet, Roy carried him to the car and laid him across the backseats. The boy didn't seem to mind. Then again, he didn't really appear to know what was going on around him.

The ride was quite and long. It would have been faster if Roy took the fast way but since he didn't want to disturb Ed, who was almost asleep, he took the side roads which had less traffic and were generally a smoother ride. The ten minute drive turned into twenty minutes by the time Roy pulled into his driveway. After he had Ed in his arms he made his way to his front door, only to find that it was already unlocked.

Holding the dazed Ed closer to his chest, Roy held his keys like you would a throwing knife and walked cautiously inside, careful to make sure Ed was out of harms way. When he walked into the living room he saw Hawkeye and Havoc sitting on the couch.

"Lieutenants?" Roy shouted in outrage, forgetting that Ed was there. He was reminded to keep his voice down was when Ed groaned in his arms and reached his arm up to hold his head. "What the hell are you doing in my house. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He was whispering now but his voice was still loud enough to cause Ed to cringe. "Oh, sorry," he said in an even softer voice.

"Can you put me down?" Ed asked, his eyes closed.

"Okay." Roy pushed his two subordinates off the couch and laid Ed across the soft cushions.

"Thanks," Ed said, his voice fading as he managed to roll over and curled into a tight ball. "Night."

"Good night." Since a blanket was nowhere to be seen, Roy removed the coat he was wearing and draped it over Ed, who grabbed hold of it his his half conscious state. Then Roy turned to give his two subordinated an angry glare, even Hawkeye, who he was scared to be cross with.

"Why do you think you have the right to walk into my house whenever you want?" He asked. "What if I had a gun, I could have shot you if I was that startled."

Havoc put his hands up in defense. "Sorry sir, we were jus-"

"And why are you smoking? Do you think Ed should smell that kind of stuff in his state?" Roy pointed to the boy on the couch behind him.

Havoc, startled, scampered out of the room quickly. Probably to dispose of the cigarette, or just to run away. He probably ran away because that was the last Roy saw of the 2nd Lieutenant that day. He turned to lecture Hawkeye but stopped because the gun strapped to her side was just visible beneath her military uniform.

"We're very sorry sir. We just came to give you your paperwork but then you came back. We've been here for only a few minutes," Hawkeye explained calmly, nothing like Havoc. Roy opened his mouth to protest but Hawkeye beat him too it. "Sorry for scaring you, sir. I'll get going." Hawkeye stood up and left before Roy could say anything.

With a sigh, Roy fell heavily into the armchair. What was he going to do now. There was no doubt that both Hawkeye and Havoc were mad at him.

"You shouldn't have snapped," Ed muttered.

Roy looked in Ed's direction but the boy's back was still facing him. "You're still awake?" He would have figured that the boy was already asleep.

Ed tried for a forced laugh but ended it with a pained hiss. "Kinda hard to sleep through that yellin'. And the headache doesn't help either."

"Do you want anything to help it?" Rot offered.

Ed shook his head. "Didn't you hear what the doctor was saying. I can't be on or take any other medicine or it could interfere with the ones I'm on. That's why they took me off the painkillers, and that's the reason everything hurts right now."

Roy was surprised. He never knew that Ed was in pain. Hell, he didn't even know that they never even put him on pain killers after the surgery. No wonder he winced when Roy happened to brush his chest when helping him change earlier.

"Now, if you could shut up I'm gonna get some sleep," Ed muttered. "You might be wide awake but I had surgery last night and I have a disease, and I'm on about three different types of medication. So shut up."

Roy silently agreed with Ed and just stared at him as he slowly drifted into the world of unconsciousness.

* * *

Ed slept soundly all evening, and that was enough to worry Roy. It's been a few days and Ed's only eaten a spoonful of soup that he threw up minutes later. The night before when Roy was carrying Ed upstairs he noticed that the boy felt much lighter than he did when he first arrived, and that wasn't the only thing that worried Roy. He happened to notice how skinny Ed was becoming. When he was in the hospital changing Roy was able to pretty much count all of his ribs. It wasn't natural to lose that much weight so fast.

Then he remembered another effect of the disease. It ate the fat of whoever contacted it and you would notice that the person would loose a lot of weight very quickly. _Better make make some breakfast and force him to eat it._ Roy glanced at the clock and realized that Ed had to get his medicine now. He ran to the kitchen and pulled open the drawer where he kept Ed's medicine. Every morning he had to take two pills and an injection and in the evening another pill before he went to bed.

He'd make breakfast after. Grabbing the disinfectant out of the drawer as well and filling up a glass of water, Roy walked upstairs to find Ed sleeping in the bed. He smiled before softly prodding him in the shoulder. Ed groaned before forcing open his eyes and giving Roy a worn out look.

"Did you have to wake me?" He asked, yawning. "I was havin' a good dream."

"Sorry, Ed, but you have to take your medicine now." Roy sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed Ed's left arm. He quickly disinfected it before pushing the needle through the thin layer of skin, forcing the medicine into his vein. Ed only then realized exactly what Roy was doing but by then he was too late. Roy tossed the used needle into the trash can beside the bed and reached his hand toward the table to grab the glass of water and two white pills.

Ed reluctantly took the water and pills in his hand before placing them in his mouth and swallowing them in a quick gulp. After he finished drinking the glass of water he handed the empty glass back to Roy and wrinkled his nose.

"That was the worst, most bile, thing I've ever tasted," Ed announced, sticking his tongue out of his mouth as if to get rid of the taste.

"How about some breakfast," Roy said, changing the subject. "I'll make you whatever you want as long as I have the ingredients in the house."

Ed pondered on what Roy said for a minute before finally nodding. "How 'bout some bacon, and eggs, and toast, and chocolate?"

"Sure, but I'm afraid to say I don't have chocolate. Do you need help getting downstairs?" Roy was surprised when Ed actually nodded his head and slowly rose out of bed with Roy, who kept his hand on his shoulder as he helped him down the stairs. When they made it into the kitchen Ed sat down heavily on the chair and put his head on the table, his eyes half closed. He was shaking.

"You alright?" Roy asked.

"Cold," Ed muttered. "The stupid damn cold."

Roy understood what Ed meant and disappeared from the room to fetch a blanket. He returned seconds later with a fuzzy blanket under one arm. He draped it over Ed, who wrapped it tighter around him. "Thanks," the boy mumbled. "And can you hurry up with the breakfast?"

 _If he wants breakfast so bad then maybe he should stop complaining,_ Roy thought as he turned away from Ed and began cooking. If there was a list of the worst cooks in Amestris he's be so down on the list they'd have to transmute a longer piece of paper just so one could see his name. Hopefully he didn't burn anything this time. Hopefully. By the time he was finished cooking the meal the kitchen was a chaotic mess, and he as going to have to clean it up later. _I could really do for a wife_ , Roy thought bitterly as he set the plate of food in front of Ed. It was just like the boy had asked for, except the toast was a fair bit burnt. Ed eyed the food and took a reluctant bite of it as if afraid that it was poisonous. Satisfied with the taste, Ed ate the rest of the meal slowly.

When Ed was finally finished a fair bit of food remained untouched, but Roy was just glad that Ed ate. He tossed the leftovers into the fridge since he wasn't going to waste food and sat down across from Ed with his cup of coffee. That's when he noticed the blanket Ed was using was lying discarded on the ground and Ed was sweating. Then he remembered that one of the medicines side effects were hot and cold flashes. Ed must be having one of those.

"Ed I have to go into work today. I have no other choice." Roy took a sip of his coffee before placing the steaming mug back on the table. "You can either stay here and let Gracia watch over you or you can come with work with me."

Ed gave the question some thought before finally lazily nodding his head. "I'll come with you long as Havoc doesn't smoke."

"I'll see to it that he doesn't," Roy promised. "I'm going to get ready We're leaving in about ten minutes."

Ed never replied to that but Roy took the silence as an 'okay' and headed to get himself ready.

* * *

 **A/N...Ten reviews on the last chapter! Thank you so much 1freespirit, PinkishFiction, BigChillFreak, DoomsdayBeamXD, Cheeseries, Enelin and Eliden Apollo, Attackoneverything, Soulmore, and Mimi. I can't believe that I have so many reviews already. Thank you guys so much. I love getting reviews. My writing improves whenever I read one of them. Thank you so much!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 4_**

A shower, shave, and fresh pair of clothes later Roy was ready to leave. A bag was slung over his shoulder that contained not only the things he would need but stuff for Ed. Mints and ginger ale were among them. Since there was a good chance he was going to be sick Roy wanted to be prepared. Ed was able to walk on his own now but it wasn't going to last long. Once the full effects of the medicine kicked in he was bound to throw up or his fever was going to spike to a high temperature.

"Come on." Roy turned and found Ed walking sluggishly forward. The medicine was beginning to take effect. Roy grabbed Ed's arm and pulled him forward a bit faster. There was no way he could be late for work.

The ride was anything but smooth. The traffic was terrible and Ed looked like he was going to be sick. Actually, he _was_ going to be sick without a doubt. He was sitting in the passengers seat, leaning over the bucket that Roy had thankfully brought with him. His breathing was quick and Roy could tell he was trying to slow it but it wasn't working.

"Colonel, can you pull over for a sec?" Ed whispered, his head hovering over the bucket. "I'm kinda car sick. Gonna...be sick."

Roy did as Ed asked and pulled the car over to the side of the street, and he was glad he did because Ed gagged and vomited loudly into the bucket he held in his trembling hands. He struggled to hold it. Roy was only able to sit by and helplessly watch Ed painfully gag and puke into the bucket. Traffic sped by past them and Roy only had five minutes to make it to work. Then there was Ed, how could he just start driving when he was like that?

"Colo...nel," Ed gasped, his voice small. "I think I'm done."

Ed lifted his head up a bit, his eyes shut. Now the only problem was the puke. With no where to put it Roy reached over and tossed the bucket out of Ed's window into the green grass outside. Luckily he didn't miss his target. No car wash today! The car started back up and Roy continued driving down the street, every so often glancing at Ed to make sure he was alright.

He felt bad for Ed. The boy was barley even able to keep his eyes open as his forehead remained pressed against the glass of the window. He no doubt had a fever. It wasn't fair that Ed had to suffer like that. Yeah, he was a strong kid, but this. No one deserved to get sick like this and let alone get the exact same disease that killed his mother. It was just cruel. Just looking at Ed made his heart sink. The boy was barley even fourteen.

Roy pulled his car into the driveway of Central HQ and parked it in his designated spot before getting out of the car and walking over to Ed's door. The blond was finally sleeping, exhausted from throwing up. Roy managed to lift Ed in his arms and walk up the front steps of Central HQ without waking him. It wasn't until he was walking through the doors to his office that Ed began to stir and woke up slowly. By the time he was fully awake he was already spread out of the couch.

No matter how much he wanted to make sure Ed was feeling better he knew he had to get to work. With a sigh, Roy sat down behind his desk and began to fill out paperwork and signing papers. It was a boring job but one day he'll be the Fuhrer and could get other people to do all this useless work instead. He already had a list of military officers he would force to work extra hard; Hakuro, Gruman, the Major. He managed to work extra fast that day, and all so he could check on Ed before Hawkeye dropped another mountain on his desk.

When he looked up he found Hawkeye kneeling in front of the couch talking softly to Ed. Havoc stood a little ways behind her but still had a clear view of Ed. Roy tuned into their conversation.

"I'm a little scared," Ed said softly. "I don't want to die. I'm not ready."

"You're not going to die," Hawkeye reassured gently. "You're going to be fine."

"She's right chief," Havoc said. It was surprising to see him without a cigarette. "The doc said you're gonna be fine."

Ed looked down sadly. There was something about the way he looked, something he was hiding. Something Roy knew immediately. "Edward," Roy spoke up form his seat behind the oak desk. "Are you worried about Al? You can call him if you want?"

"No, It's just..." Ed turned away from all of them and curled into a small ball, his knees pulled up to his chest, his head on a pillow. "I'm tired. Gonna get some sleep."

He was lying, and he wasn't sleeping, just faking it. Everyone could tell he was truly worried about something but no one pried. If he wanted to tell them he would when he was ready. After that the office went back to it's same quiet atmosphere, save for Ed's raged breathing and the pens scratching on paper.

* * *

The day went by quickly. Ed slept through most of it but when he was actually conscious he was too dazed to really know what was going on. His gaze was foggy and he only looked around before falling back asleep. Roy, however, had to work the entire time. Not like the little Alchemist, who got to sleep on the couch all say. E managed to complete three two foot stacks of paperwork before lunch even began.

Roy looked up from his work and glanced at Ed, who appeared to have woken up again, but this time he seemed more aware of what was happening. "Edward." Ed looked in his direction. "Do you want anything to eat? It's almost lunch."

Ed shook his head and buried his face in the pillow, groaning loudly. Nothing seemed to be wrong with him. He was probably being overly dramatic. Roy's stomach growled loudly and he rose to his feet. "Hawkeye, I'm going to get some lunch. Can you watch Ed until I get back?"

Hawkeye saluted. "Yes, sir."

Roy nodded his head and left the room, wondering why Hawkeye looked somewhat nervous when Roy talked to her.

When he got to the cafeteria he got a fair bit of food and sat down at one of the table. As he silently wolfed down his meal Hughes came to sit beside him.

"Hey, Roy" Hughes greeted. "How's Ed doing?"

 _First time he didn't start by saying his daughter's adorable and flashing a picture in my face_ , Roy thought. "Ed's doing fine. He's getting the disease treated." He sighed. "But the doctor said that he's going to get worse before he's better."

"What do you mean by that?" Hughes asked.

Roy thought back to what the doctor told him and repeated it to Hughes. "'Before Ed gets cured the medicine if going to make him feel like utter crap'. Ed's most likely going to be spending most of the day sleeping. I'm going to have to do a lot for him. And you're going to help"

"Why do I have to help?" Hughes asked

"You're a father. You know how to care for a kid."

Hughes sighed and continued eating his own meal. Roy finished his own meal quickly and rose to his feet, leaving the untouched food behind as he left the cafeteria an headed back to his office. When he got there he found Ed sitting on the couch playing cards with Havoc.

"Two!" Havoc shouted.

Ed shook his head and Havoc hung his head as he picked up another card out of the pile.

"Five," Ed yawned.

Havoc gave his hand of cards a quick glance and tossed one to Ed, a frown on his face. "I don't understand why you keep winning? How did you get so good?"

Ed only shrugged and leaned against the back of the couch. "Can we continue this later? I'm gettin' tired."

"Sure thing, chief." Havoc put away the cards as Ed settled into a more comfortable position, pulling his blanket tighter around him. He yawned loudly before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Roy pried his dark gaze away from Ed and headed back to his desk to do more paperwork. Oh, how much he hated doing paperwork. It was one of the worst possible torture methods. Even worse than the Xinese water torture, and that was bad. Now that Ed was sleeping and Roy was back, the office returned to it's silent atmosphere, the one sound being Ed's soft snoring.

The brat, now he was making Roy tired. Tonight he was going to go to bed early, very early. Too bad he didn't have a bed to sleep in, but he figured Ed needed it more than he did.

Roy was unable to suppress the yawn that escaped him and he stretched his arms high in the air before returning to signing the horrid papers.

* * *

Roy sat in his living room, watching over the sleeping Ed. He just got back from the office and Ed happened to wake up just as he was walked through the front door. The stubborn brat refused to be left alone and Roy reluctantly allowed him to sleep on the couch in the living room until he had to go to bed. The boy was finally sleeping again, worn out from the sickness and effects of the medicine.

Ed's mouth hung open slightly, a trail of drool running down his chin. Unconsciously, Ed reached his hand up, scratched his head, and rolled over on the couch so his back was to Roy.

It was hard not to feel bad to Ed most of the time, but right now Roy couldn't help but envy him. The shrimp got to sleep all day when he had to slave over paperwork. Maybe it was fair? Ed was really sick with the same disease his mother had. On the other hand, Roy was in top condition. If someone were to pay him he'd run a marathon three times over, but he'd probably die at the end. As for Ed, if he were to run a marathon he'd pass out before it even started.

A small groan alerted him, causing him to direct his attention back to Ed, who was just beginning to stir. "Colonel?" Ed asked.

"What is it, Ed?" He asked.

"I think..." Ed knit his eyebrows together. "I dunno anymore..."

"Are you hungry?" Roy offered, hoping Ed would say he was. The kid needed food.

Ed looked confused for a moment before slowly shaking his head and pulling the blanket over his head. "It's cold," he mumbled from beneath the blanket. "And I'm tired."

"Why don't you get some more sleep?" Roy suggested. He knew that Ed should get some more sleep. He looked tired.

"I don't wanna," Ed muttered, yawning loudly afterwards. He was clearly tired but why didn't he just sleep? Then it occurred to him.

"Ed, are you scared?" Roy asked softly.

Ed's reaction surprised him. A small nod and a far off look. His face paled considerably at the question. Roy reached out his hand and gently placed it on top of Ed's shoulder. The boy snapped back to his senses and stared at Roy, confusion clouding his eyes.

"Just get some sleep," he said softly, hoping he could talk the boy into listening. "And I promise nothing's going to happen to you. I promise."

Ed looked down and rolled over so his back was to Roy. "I hope you're right," he whispered.

Roy could only sit there, wrapped in guilt. Why was he so useless when it wasn't even raining. He couldn't even reassure Ed enough to make him feel better. The kid was scared, terrified, yet he was powerless to do anything.

* * *

The next morning Roy woke to the sound of a soft scream breaking through the silence. It died down quickly but the pure terror still echoed through Roy's mind. It was a scream full of fear. What was he going to do? It was only three in the morning and he was tired, but what about the scream? Maybe Ed was in danger? Did someone break in? Dozens of thoughts, most of them terrible, rushed through Roy's head until he jumped to his feet and walked quickly down the hall to Ed's room, nervous about what he was going to find.

The door creaked open and Roy forced his legs to move forward into the small room. Ed was lying in the bed, his blanket lying rejected on the floor and his hands griping the sheets tightly. His face was contorted with pained and sweat, as well as tears, ran down his face as if he was in a rain storm.

"Mom, please. I can't. Al. No! Stop! Give his back!" Ed shouted loudly, his arms flailing wildly as if he was trying to fend someone off. "Please." His voice had significantly lowered and all that remained was an echo of it's former volume, no more than a small whimper.

Now Roy was left with a difficult decision: Was he going to help Ed or was he going to forget about all of this and leave? But as he looked at Ed, crying in the bed, calling for his mother, Roy had no choice but to help him. Maybe it was because he felt guilty for not doing something? Or maybe it was because he had had a new found fondness for the boy. Ever since Roy was stuck babysitting him he had grown quite use to the boy and actually rather enjoyed his company. Maybe he could continue living like this after Ed got better, and Al too.

"Edward." Roy gently, very gently, shook Ed's shoulder in a slow rocking motion. The boy, still unconscious, stiffened and cried a slight bit harder.

"M-mom?" he asked. Roy's heart broke. The boy sounded so...hopeful as he said that. It was a terrible, heartwrenching moment. It was like the entire world had stood still. Roy was frozen in his own mind. What was he going to say? He didn't want to hurt the kid any more than he already was.

So he stayed silent, never uttering a single word. The wrong thing could tear the boy even more than he already was. He was terrified that he was going to die. He didn't need anymore stress. It was several minutes of silence before there was a small gasp and Ed's eyes shot open, huge and full of more terror than one could put on a simple scale.

"Edward," Roy tried, his voice as soft as he cold make it.

Ed, still in too much of a panic to know what was happening, paled considerably after hearing the voice and buried his face into the pillow, picking up where he left off in his sobbing. Roy, still unknowing to what Ed had just seen, sighed and sat down at the edge of Ed's bed, silently staring at him.

"Edward, it's alright," Roy whispered, just loud enough for Ed to hear. "Take your head out of the pillow."

Ed shook his head and pushed his hands over his ears, his entire body trembling. Roy had no idea what to do so he stood up. But as he made to leave the room a small, barley coherent voice, called out to him, causing the Colonel to stop dead in his tracks.

Turning around, he noticed that Ed had taken his head out from the pillow and was staring at Roy with glimmering eyes that looked as if they could illuminate the dark room themselves. His face was lined with silver tear tracks that glowed dimly. The two alchemists stared at each other for a moment before Ed dipped his head down, his shoulders trembling.

Roy was frozen in spot. What was he going to do? It was clear that Ed needed help but he was clueless when it came to helping. Should he comfort the boy? He was sitting in bed crying, what else was he going to do? Slowly, very slowly, Roy inched his way closer to Ed until he was back beside the bed, looking down at the trembling boy.

"Edward?" Roy softly placed his hand on Ed's shoulder and was greatly surprised when Ed latched onto his arm; and that he even did it in the first place. "Are you alright?"

Ed gave a small shake of his head. His grip tightened ever so slightly. The fatherly instincts that he never knew he had came out at that moment as Roy sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Ed slowly onto his lap, holding his gently.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Roy remembered Alphonse once telling him about how Ed frequently had terrible nightmares. Roy even got goosebumps when Al told him what they were about. A boy his age shouldn't have to experience that.

"Yes," Ed whispered, his voice almost too faint to hear. But if you strained your ears hard enough you could hear his voice, and the trembling notes in it as well. He took up shaking again and Roy pulled him closer, offering as much comfort as he could.

His hand slowly ran through Ed's hair and he pulled the boy closer to him. Ed's head was buried in his chest and his hand gripped the front of his shirt, holding it in a tight grip. Roy couldn't help but feel overjoyed that Ed had found comfort in him. The boy woke up from a nightmare and now Roy was actually able to calm him down.

"Do you wan to tell me what the nightmare was about?" Roy asked, unsure whether the boy was ready to describe the terrors he encountered in his dream. Ed gave a slight shake of his head and Roy nodded his. He knew that whatever he dreamed about was horrible for him, and it was something he was unwilling to tell. "Do you think you're fine on your own?" Roy asked. He really wanted to get some sleep.

"P-please don't go," Ed whispered, his voice wavering.

Roy was startled by what Ed just said. He didn't want him to go? Ed avoided his gaze but Roy could still see the pain that masked his face. It wasn't physical pain that he was feeling. He was truly scared. All of his emotions lay tangled and he kept it all from anyone. But Roy knew, and that was clear. There was only one person who could help his youngest subordinate now, and it was Roy.

"I won't leave," Roy softly promised. Ed pushed himself away from Roy and curled up near the edge of the bed, leaving just enough room for another person. Roy took the hint and settled himself down beside Ed, who pushed himself closer to him. A small smile graced Roy's face as he wrapped the blanket around Ed and laid his arm around his waist. The small boy curled himself into a small ball and buried his face in Roy's chest, his eyes closed and his breathing slow.

"Good night, Ed," Roy whispered.

* * *

 **A/N...And that was chapter 4! I'd like to give a big thanks to PinkishFiction, kittytail88, Attackoneverything, BigChillFreak, and emmahoshi for reviewing last chapter. I'm so glad you're all enjoying my story. And any feedback for this chapter is much appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 **Chapter 5**

The next morning Roy woke early to find himself lying in Ed's bed with a sick child curled up close to him. Careful not to disturb him, Roy rose silently out of the bed and headed for the door, cursing the floorboards as they creaked under his weight. If Ed woke up because of them-

-but by the time Roy decided the punishments the floor shall receive he was already downstairs and standing in the kitchen. His dark gaze scanned the untidiness and a sigh escaped him. If only he had a woman...Soon she'll be his. Roy became dreamy eyed as he thought about the woman he loved but he knew it was never going to happen.

 _I'm nothing more than a commanding officer. Nothing closer than that_. He sighed again. The woman was so close yet his dream failed to gain an existence. _Maybe one day. Perhaps after we've settled down?_ It was useless to wonder about a future that seemed so far off so he pushed the thought aside and focused more on the present that he faced.

Using whatever was in the house, Roy set off to work on Ed's breakfast. His cooking skills were below average, and by bellow average he meant _below_ average. It wouldn't surprise him if Elicia was able to cook a more edible meal with less eggshells. However, since he was forced to cook now instead of eating out, he slaved over pans and chopped food until he was able to create a meal that wasn't toxic.

Finally finished setting up Ed's plate, Roy grabbed the medicine and headed upstairs, not even thinking twice about the creaking floorboards.

The first thing he saw after entering Ed's room was the way the boy was sleeping. Half his blanket had fallen to the ground and half of his stomach was exposed. He was lying on his back, a small trail of drool running from his open mouth and down his chin. He just looked peaceful and Roy would have been a cold-hearted monster if he woke him. Still, Ed needed to take his medicine. If he wanted any chances of surviving the illness he had to take the medication around the same time each day so he had to wake up now. He could sleep later.

Reluctantly stretching out his arm, Roy prodded Ed's flesh shoulder softly. When Ed didn't respond he was somewhat relieved that the boy was still sleeping but when a small groan broke into his thoughts he didn't know what to think. It was a good thing that Ed was awake, right? But weren't sick children suppose to get a lot of sleep?

"What?" Came the sleepy groan and Ed tried to pull the blanket over his face but failed when Roy took it away from him. "Hey! Give it back," Ed protested, his voice nothing more than a sleep stricken mumble.

Better do it while Ed's still half asleep. Roy took the needle in one hand and held Ed's arm tightly before pushing the tip past the layer of skin and injecting the medicine into his bloodstream. Ed never seemed to notice. After discarding the now useless syringe, Roy told Ed to sit up and then handed the glass of water and two pills to the boy.

"Take them quickly," he urged as Edward took a large gulp of water and ingested the bitter pills. "Never again," he vowed before allowing himself to fall into the mattress with a small thud and ripping the blanket out of Roy's hands. "Next time don't take it out on the blanket. It had nothing to do with it."

Roy sighed. Still the same old Ed. In about ten minutes the medicine would kick in and he would be pretty much out of it for an hour or so before he gets use to it. So he'd better eat his breakfast soon. Roy once again shook Ed's shoulder gently, earning a disapproving glare from the sick boy.

"What'd ya have to do that for?" He demanded. His eyes narrowed as he waited for Roy to answer.

"You have to eat," Roy said, his voice ordering. "I've made you some breakfast. It's downstairs."

"Don't wanna." Ed, once again, pulled the blanket far over his head, hiding his small body from view.

Then he got it. With a small smirk, Roy casually said, "Guess you're going to be short forever." He sighed. "You're going to be asking me why I didn't make you eat your breakfast when you're no taller than Fuery."

For some odd reason Ed didn't react. His body stiffened but that was the biggest reaction Roy got out of him. _Maybe he's not feeling well?_ Roy thought, knowing that the answer was obvious. Not only was Ed sick, but he was also scared, terrified that he was going to die. Still, the boy needed to eat if he was going to fight off the disease that dwelled within him. With no other options left, Roy quickly took Ed in his arms, much to the boy's disapproval .

"Hey! Put me down!" He tried to squirm out of Roy's arms but his movements were pitifully slow and he wasn't much stronger than a small child. It was only a few moments before exhaustion had settled in him and he fell limp, breathing hard. Another effect of the disease. Whoever had it lost their energy unusually quickly. How Trisha managed to raise two kids on her own while suffering like Ed, Roy would never know.

Ed's head fell against Roy's shoulder. He'd given up the fight, leaving Roy the crowned victor. Hiding his growing smile quickly, Roy walked into the kitchen and set Ed down on a chair, pushing the plate of food towards him.

"Eat up."

Edward eyed the food before grabbing the fork in his flesh hand and shoving a heaping mountain of scrambled eggs into his mouth. Roy could easily hear the _crunch_ off eggshells as Ed chewed. Maybe he should learn to cook better? As Ed ate, Roy noticed that the boy's head had begun to droop down and not even a minute later, the fork clattered to the ground as Edwards head hit the table. His arm dangled limply beside him. Luckily he missed the plate, but only by an inch.

A small sigh and a gently laugh was all that Roy was able to do. Ed fell asleep while eating his breakfast. Too bad he didn't have Hughes' camera, he couldn't miss this. Ignoring his inner protests, Roy extended his hand a bit reluctantly, and gently prodded Ed's shoulder, hoping that was enough to wake the boy.

The only response he got out of the by was a flustered groan. It was short but it told him that Ed wasn't going to be waking up, no matter how hard Roy tried. Knowing that a sick child shouldn't sleep at a table, Roy began engineering a plan to move Ed to the living room couch without bothering him too much. The plan was simple, but it could also cost him his life. If Ed was to wake up suddenly in a very bad mood...Roy didn't want to think about it.

He had to be quick, and that he was sure of. Three...two...one...now!

Roy knelt down beside Ed's chair and carefully maneuvered the boy until he was able to get him in his arms. Ed practically fell forward, his head landing on Roy's shoulder. Roy smiled as he stood up, holding Ed close to him. The boy was curled up in his arms.

With quick, precise actions, Roy maneuvered his way into the living room and placed Ed upon the soft cushions of his leather couch. After noticing how peaceful the boy looked, it would make anyone overjoyed. The pure relaxed expression, limp muscles, mouth hanging open. But despite the softness of the Young child, one action remained firmly engraved onto the boy, the anchor to his past. His left hand was tightly gripping the front of Roy's shirt, distorting the peaceful sleeping image that would have been if it weren't for the grip.

That was the grip that would be enough to break anyone's heart, no matter how small. It was the grip a small child would utilize when a nightmare occurred. The tightness of the small fist was impossible to over look, even to a person who never payed any heed to the smaller details. The white knuckles were most noticeable, but another thing was that the way the fist trembled. It shook like he was cold, but he couldn't be. The rest of him wasn't shivering. No. His fist was trembling from fear, it was trembling from the sheer force that he uses to strangle the cloth.

Roy could only stared dolefully at Ed. Who wouldn't? It was that small fist that distorted the otherwise priceless image. Why? Why did a boy so young, so small, so frail, deserve everything he's been through? Why? Why wasn't his question ever answered? Ed was a boy, a mere child who should be in school. Not a soldier who divulges himself in Alchemy, so fixated on restoring his brother's body that he shows a complete disregard for his own life. A child should never have to enroll himself in the military and fight on the barbarous battlefield to fulfill a promise. So why did Ed have to go through all of this?

That was what Roy was thinking before he found two, bright golden orbs staring down at him. He was trying to hide his pain like always. His body language, his words, the way he merely held himself. But his eyes, those eyes, the very entrance to his soul. They showed, despite his ceaseless efforts, the indescribable pain Ed was going through. Both mentally and physically, his pain could far surpass that of an average person, even an old war veteran. Very few who did the same taboo as him survived, and he knew the terror of losing everything in a matter of seconds. He took the blame for something that wasn't only his doing. He tried to act brave even though all that he was doing was adding to his already towering wall balancing precariously on him and him alone. The great burden he held on his shoulders.

"I'm alright," Ed whispered suddenly, breaking the vast silence that had dominated the room for so long. "Please."

What did he mean? Why was he saying he was alright? But even as he thought that, Roy knew exactly what Ed's words meant. Those three words that held a deep inner meaning. Words that were near impossible to decode. Yet in a matter of seconds Roy managed to figure out exactly wha he meant. Those words were directed at him.

"I know you're alright," Roy whispered back, meeting Ed's gaze. "But that's not going to stop me from worrying about you." He tried to sound commanding, ordering like he was, but his voice was as soft as fresh snow, untouched by anything, laced with kindness. His words meant something too, though not as deep, but they were just as powerful.

"Please. I don't want anyone to worry about me." His voice was faint, no more than a mere whisper. But those pitiful shattered waves he made were just loud enough for Roy to hear. The boy broke into a coughing fit, his hand releasing the iron hard grip on the front of Roy's shirt, allowing it to fall to the side and dangle over the edge of the couch.

The coughing slowly died down but Ed remained silent, never once meeting Roy's gaze, never once looking up, never once removing his broken gaze from where it stood, transfixed on the floor. A word was not ever uttered and the room was plunged into a silence that seemed to stretch out for eternity. But finally, finally, Edward glanced up and whispered, "I'm sorry, Colonel."

It struck Roy by surprise. Sorry? Sorry for what? There was nothing that Ed had to feel sorry for. "Edward, I don't understand."

"I'm sorry. That you have to do this." Edward looked away again and a small spot on his black leather sofa glistened before it spread and ended before the carpet took on a slightly darker shade.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Roy said softly, kneeling down in front of Ed. Now he knew why Ed was crying. He thought that Roy didn't like having him there. He thought that Roy looked at him like an unwanted burden. He should have seen it sooner. "I actually rather enjoy your company. Adds a some color to this lonely household." He laughed in hope of lessening the boy's stress. "Makes me wish that you're here more often."

The only thing Ed did was bury his head in his hand. Roy didn't need to see or hear anything else to know exactly how Ed was feeling. He thought that Roy hated him staying there, he was afraid of dying, he was under a lot of stress. In his own heart, Roy knew that he should do something to make Ed feel more at home, but he didn't know what. No matter how much he considered bringing Alphonse here he decided against it. Ed didn't need his younger brother worrying about him like that, and Roy had a gut feeling that Edward would just break down from his stress and fears. So instead, Roy was as kind as he could be to Ed, hoping that he would make the boy more at ease.

As for now, Ed seemed too pain stricken to think clearly. Even a blind person could tell he was just broken. Hell! He was _crying_ in his hands and Roy wasn't even doing a damned thing to help him. Better late than never.

"Edward, it's alright," Roy said softly, despite not knowing what was making him like this. He extended a single arm forward and ran his hand through Ed's hair, feeling he silky strands run between his fingers. The distressed boy leaned into his touch and slowly pried his head out from his hands.

His face was a light shade of rose atop of a pale base. Streams of glistening salty water crisscrossed his face at random. Roy used his free hand to wipe away the tracks before pulling Edward closer to him, allowing the frail boy to lean against him.

Ed fell almost too willingly into Roy's arms and stayed that way, his head on his shoulder and eyes tightly closed. Roy continued his rhythmic pattern of running his fingers through Ed's tangled hair, having noticed that the boy relaxed rather quickly after doing so.

"Thank you," Ed whispered before falling limp.

Roy continued what he was doing for several more minutes and once he was satisfied that Ed was in a deep enough sleep, Roy shifted himself so he could position the boy on the couch without waking him or disturbing his slumber. The only sound came from Ed's sudden groan but it died down quickly and a whisper of breath was all that remained.

A small smile forced its way onto Roy's face and he decided to keep it there. Why shouldn't he smile? Ed didn't appear too sick now and he wasn't crying anymore. He should be celebrating! Well, a smile was good enough for now.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 5! Than you so much to Attackoneverything, BigChillFreak, emmahoshi, BakedBeanFart, AnimeFreakShips, and PinkishFiction for reviewing last chapter. I'm so glad you guys like my story.**

 **Sorry that this chapter was a bit shorter than the last. It was going to be longer but I developed a case of writers block. I kind of know where I want to go with the next chapter but I'm still trying to work it out. Al's coming into the story since I've been reading a lot of stories that involve the brotherly relationship between Ed and Al. So that's why Al's coming. But I don't know why he should come to Central. So if any one of you know why Al would suddenly come to Central I'd love to know. This stories NOT going to be Elricest or have any kind of yaoi!**


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 6_**

Roy sat in Ed's bedroom long after carrying him back upstairs. Just when Ed seemed to be getting better his fever suddenly spiked to a high temperature and Roy's been ceaselessly trying to bring it down. Since Ed was still sick if his high fever showed no improvements after a span of three hours Roy would have to take him to the hospital in case the medicine was failing to work or the disease developed an immunity to the medication and progressed further.

Roy could only hope that Ed's fever would go down. It wasn't because he didn't want to take him to the hospital, he was truly scared. Ed could very well be dying. It was painstaking to remember what the doctor told him that day in the hospital before Ed had woken up.

He said that Ed had a good chance to live, but that didn't mean he had a guaranteed ticket to survival. The disease he had was very unpredictable and could rebel at any minute. That was why the boy had to be under constant supervision in case something happened. It was like when he was alone in his dorm. Coughing up blood and then fainting. If Hawkeye hadn't found him when she did...Roy didn't want to think about it.

A soft groan came from Ed quickly followed by a huff of breath. Roy turned his attention to the boy and saw him trying to push the damp cloth off his forehead, ultimately failing. Roy released a small sigh and guided Ed's hands slowly away from the cloth and re-positioned it. A noticeable shiver passed through Ed's body and Roy pulled the blanket up further so it was just above his chest but below the neck.

Ed stiffened and moaned, his hand reaching up to swat the cloth away again but failing before he cleared even an inch of the distance. "Edward?" Roy whispered softly.

Ed forced open his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, confusion shining in the unfocused golden orbs. It took a bit but soon Ed's gaze was fixed on Roy, though they were still unfocused and made Roy realize just how tired Ed was.

"Colo...nel?" Ed whispered, his voice scratchy.

Roy gave him a soft smile. A fake smile. How could he be smiling when he knew Ed was in pain, when he knew Ed was sick, when Ed sounded so, so...broken. Even though it was nothing more than a forced smile to hide his concern, he still meant it in a way. It was his way of telling Ed that he was okay; that he was going to live. So what if it was fake? If it was strong enough to help Ed than that was all he cared about.

"Hello Ed," Roy said softly. "How are you feeling?"

Ed's only response was a groan before he rolled over and pulled the blanket tight around him. Roy sighed and leaned back in his chair. It was still too early to give Ed his medicine and it was highly doubtful that Ed was going to leave bed anytime soon.

A thought occurred to him and he couldn't help but sigh. Since he was very, _very_ far behind on his paperwork Hawkeye gave him an entire stack of work for him to do on his weekend off. An entire stack! Sometimes he thought that his Lieutenant was trying yo work him to death, and it didn't seem too unlikely.

 _Better do it now when there's not a gun pointed at my head_ , Roy decided as he rose to his feet and headed for the door. Glancing back at the bed, he noticed that Ed had thankfully fallen back asleep so he was able to slip, unnoticed, out of the bedroom.

The stairs creaked as he walked down them and just like always he hoped that Ed would sleep through the unreasonable creaking wood.

When he was finally settled down to do his paperwork , a cup of coffee in his hands, A loud, pain filled, terrified scream broke its way into his thoughts and caused him to spill his coffee onto his paperwork. Hawkeye was seriously going to kill him.

Roy jumped to his feet, ignoring the mess of spilled coffee and scattered papers on his floor. The sound was coming from Ed's room! What if something happened to him? What if he's hurt? Maybe someone broke into his house and is trying to kill him?

Millions of pointless, unbelievable, possibilities for why the scream suddenly originated swam through Roy's mind like a flurry of fish, swimming away from the shark that chased them. Fear enveloped him and he pushed himself up the creaking stairs.

He threw Ed's bedroom door open and found that Ed was still alive, and unharmed. He was unharmed physically, but Roy had no way of finding out if Ed was mentally hurt.

Ed was lying in the bed, the blankets discarded on the floor. His arms flailed around wildly and he was muttering nonsense, his words pained and each sentence ending in a pain stricken scream. A blanket of sweat enveloped him and mixed with the tears that streamed down his face. Roy walked over and saw no a single hint of color in his ghostly white, glistening, face.

"Edward," he tried, but the boy's only respond was a scream before his automail hand gripped the edge of the mattress tightly. "Ed." Again, only a scream, this one pitiful compared to the previous. Ed bit his lip, his trembling increasing.

Roy extended his hands forward and shook Ed gently, but rough enough for him to wake up. Luckily, thanks to the quick movements, Ed's eyes snapped open and his breathing quickened. When he saw Roy the tears that were in his eyes began to fall harder and he just broke down there. Roy reached out his hand and Ed grabbed hold of it with his own.

"It's alright," Roy whispered.

"No!" Ed shouted. "It's not alright! It's not!"

Roy didn't know what to say so he just sat at the edge of Ed's bed and lifted Ed onto his lap. He ran his hands slowly through Ed's hair, which was now greasy since it hasn't been washed for who knows how long, and whispered gentle words to him.

Ed's hand went from gripping the mattress to Roy's shirt and his head was buried in Roy's neck. "I'm sorry," Edward sobbed.

Sorry? Sorry for what. "There's no need to apologize," Roy said softly, but Ed shook his head roughly.

"B-but I...I k-killed you," Ed shouted, his voice weak and trembling.

"You didn't kill me. I'm still here." Roy held Ed closer, knowing exactly what had happened. The poor kid probably had a nightmare. The way he was shaking uncontrollably, his quick breathing, his tear filled eyes, the very way he was screaming. It should have been obvious from the start, but Roy never found out that Ed had a nightmare until Ed willingly said that he killed him. Why in hell would a kid be forced to suffer through a dream like that?

"Edward, are you alright?" Roy asked.

Ed tightened his grip. "D-don't go," he pleaded. "I- d-don't want to...to be alone."

Roy nodded and gazed down at Ed sympathetically. "I won't leave you. But how about you come into the living room. I have to do some work?"

Ed nodded. Roy smiled as he scooped Ed into his arms, surprised that he didn't react at all. It's probably because he's sick. Kids aren't really themselves when they're feeling unwell. Roy made his way into the living room and sat down heavily on the couch, settling Ed next to him. His paperwork was scattered and ruined on the floor but he seriously didn't want to move.

Ed's warmth radiated off his frail body, he slow pattern of his breathing, the slight pressure on his side where Ed was leaning. It was all very comforting and it felt somewhat natural. Roy wished that he could sit there all day. Just him and Ed, in silence. But he knew that it wasn't going to last forever. Soon Ed would be well again, he'd go back to his missions, hate Roy's guts. Roy wanted Ed to get better, it's just...he enjoyed the boy's company and it would be hard to part with him.

Roy sighed and placed his hand on Ed's back. If only he could engrave this onto stone, freeze this moment so he'd never have to leave. But just as the world spun on its tipped axle as time progressed, the clocks on earth were destined to move forward and so was all of time and space itself. Nothing could last forever, he was a soldier and he knew that, but sometimes one could only wish.

His peaceful moment was lost for all eternity when a loud pounding came from the door. Roy growled softly. Why now of all times did someone have to come and knock on his door? Couldn't they have waited until the sun was actually up? Roy tried to settle back into his comfortable spot but the knocking was persistent and kept up it's steady pace. Each knock grew louder and louder until Ed woke up after finally falling back asleep.

"Roy? What's goin' on?" Ed mumbled sleepily, rubbing his eyes with his flesh hand.

"I'll be right back." Roy tried to stand up but Ed's hand caught his wrist before he could move away and held tight. Roy turned and stared into Ed's large, golden, pleading eyes.

"Where...going?" Ed whispered, his voice faint.

"I have to answer the door. I'll be back in a second."

Ed stared at Roy for a minute before he nodded his head and allowed his hand to fall limp. Roy left Ed on the couch as he ran to answer the door. The persistent knocking continued until Roy opened the door and was greeted by a-

"Where's my brother?"

-Very frantic suit of armor. He stared down at Roy as he waited impatiently for an answer. When the Colonel didn't give an immediate answer, the armor asked again, louder, "Where's my brother?"

"He's in my living room? Why do-"

Before he could finish his question, Al pushed his way past Roy and right into his house. Such manners. Roy could only follow him and when he finally got into the living room he found Ed lying on the couch, a look of shock and horror plastered on his face.

"A-Alphonse?" He asked, confusion one of the many emotions in his eyes. He was terribly pale and Roy wondered if it was because he was sick or because Al scared the living daylights out of him. "What...what are you d-doing here?"

"Why haven't you called?" Al demanded. Ed's face paled more than Roy thought possible.

"I-I'm sorry, Al. I've been busy and-"

"Oh, so you've been busy," Al snapped. "It's been days and i haven't gotten so much as a single phone call from you. What can be so important that you don't even contact your own brother?"

"Al, please-"

"Tell me, Ed," Al ordered.

Ed shook slightly and his breathing quickened. If Ed stayed this stressed he's be bound to pass out. And he already looked about ready to do so now.

"Alphonse, can you please wait in the other room for a minute?" Roy asked. "I need to talk to Edward alone."

Al looked ready to argue but gave into Roy's order and walked back towards the door. Once sure the armor was out of earshot, Roy walked over to the couch and sat down beside Ed. "You don't have to tell him if you don't want to," he said softly.

Ed shook his head roughly. "No, he deserves to know." Ed leaned against the back of the couch, his breathing heavy. "But... don't..." His breathing quickened.

Roy wrapped his arms around Ed and tried to pull the blond closer but was pushed away as Ed burst into a coughing fit. His hand shot to cover his mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut tight as painful coughs racked his body. He gasped between each cough and when the coughing finally died down Ed's eyes widened and he paled even more. The palm of his hand was soaked with a deep crimson.

Roy noticed and reached for Ed but the boy wiped his mouth off and shoved his hand in his pocket. "D-don't t-tell Al."

Roy ran into his kitchen and searched for Ed's medicine. He forgot to give Ed his medicine! Racing back into the living room Roy found Ed lying on the couch now, his breathing shallow.

"Edward, sit up." Roy pushed the glass of water into Ed's hand and the pills into the other. "Take them now." Ed obeyed and took the medicine. Once he was done Roy injected him and pushed him down onto the couch so he was lying down. After that Roy used the cloth he had grabbed to wipe the blood off Ed's face and his hand. Why did Al have to come now?

"I...need to tell...Al," Ed whispered, his eyes closed.

"Alright, I'll get him." Roy rose to his feet and went to fetch Al. Once he found him both of them headed into the living room. Al was bound to find out eventually, but with Ed the way he was. Coughing blood sometimes happened with the disease if someone coughed too much, but if it happened too much they had to go to the hospital. Roy thought that Ed would be fine if he got enough rest but he told himself that if Ed coughed up any more blood he'll take him to a doctor.

"Brother?" Al asked. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, Al," Ed whispered, his voice weak. "I'm sorry." Tears pricked at the corners of his closed eyes and he began to tremble. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?" Al demanded. Roy could tell that Al was getting nervous just by the way his echoing voice shook.

"I-I'm sorry." Ed coughed. "But I'm not gonna die. I p-promise."

"Ed, what are you talking about?" Al asked.

Ed never replied. He was barley conscious now and when his eyes opened they were glazed over and unfocused.

"Alphonse, what Ed is trying to say." Roy let out a slow breath. "He somehow managed to come in contact with a disease. The same one that took your mother's life."

Al was silent for a minute before he yelled, "You're lying to me!"

"I wish I was," Roy said softly. "I'm sorry Al. Ed didn't want me to tell you. He was afraid that you'd worry yourself senseless."

"Stop lying to me!" Al shouted, but a small, shattered voice interrupted him.

"I know it hard to believe," Ed whispered. Roy could tell he was on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry. But I promise that I'm not going to die. I promise. I-I'll t-turn you back. I promise." His voice was so broken, so frail, so small, that Roy had a hard time believing that it came from Ed. But it did come from Ed. Edward was the one whispering out those shattered words.

"You idiot!" Al shouted again, but there was something different about his voice. It was no longer mad, it was scared. He was scared and was trying to hide it by yelling. "Stop lying!"

Ed, who as too sick to even walk down the stairs, somehow managed to rise up off the couch and walk unsteadily over to Al. He looked up at his younger brother, a saddened look on his pale face.

"You see, Al," he said, his voice very weak and shaky. "I'm barley even standing here. I'm not lying. Please believe me."

Al knelt down so he was eye level to Ed and stared at him. "You're serious?"

Ed nodded and leaned forward so he was leaning against Al. His breathing was heavy and he was sweating. This was taking a lot out of him. "I'm sorry for keeping this from you. I just d-didn't know how to t-tell you. I-I'm sorry, Al. I'm sorry."

Al still didn't want to believe his older brother but it was hard to believe that the was lying. He pulled Ed closer to him and his older brother willingly allowed Al to hold him in his lap. Maybe he was telling the truth? He'd never do this in a hundred years, openly show his weakness. Maybe Al was being too harsh?

"I'm sorry for not believing you, brother," Al apologized.

Ed reached one shaky hand up and patter Al as best as he could on his shoulder before it fell limply to his side. His eyes slid closed. "Thank you, Al, for believing me. I'm sorry." His head dipped down and his body fell limp.

Al continued to hold Ed gingerly in his large leather hands, staring down at him without ever prying his gaze away. Ed was unconscious now, curled in Al's lap, and breathing softly. Al pushed Ed's bangs out of his face and hung his head.

"Why does this have to happen to you?" He asked himself. "I've already lost mom, I can't lose you too. I'm not going to live in a world without you. If you die then so will I."

Ed never once stirred at the words Al whispered. He remained silent, his face pale and his breathing shallow. Roy couldn't help but feel his heart break at the sad scene in front of him. Two brothers who would do anything for each other, sitting on the floor together, the eldest sick with the disease the two feared most. It was a sad, heart wrenching scene that Roy found impossible to look away from.

* * *

It was around ten in the morning and Ed was still asleep. The morning took a lot out of him and Roy figured that he'd be sleeping for while. Alphonse hadn't left his side in all that time and was now sitting in a chair he had brought over and was watching his brother intensely. Ed slept soundly, his breathing back to normal.

Roy walked over and placed his hand on Ed's forehead. Heat radiated off of it. It was fairly warm. "Alphonse, could you get me a cold cloth? Ed's fever's getting worse."

Al nodded and clanked out of the room. Roy sighed and knelt down beside Ed. The poor kid had to tell his brother that he had a disease and got so stressed out that he began coughing up blood. The doctors said that if he got too worked up, stressed, or used up to much energy there was a good chance that he would cough up blood. They said it was normal with his condition but if it happened more than once to bring him to get checked out. Since it was only the first time Roy just made him rest but he was still worried.

Al came back with the damp cloth and Roy used it to wipe the sweat off Ed's face before placing it on his forehead. Ed moaned at the sudden coolness and shifted his weight. His hand unconsciously tried to swat it away but Roy gently grabbed his wrist and pulled it away.

"It's going to help. Just leave it on. You'll get use to it." Roy placed Ed's hand by the boy's side and surprisingly Ed obeyed.

"M-Mustang?" Ed whispered. He cracked open eye and gazed at Roy. "W-where's Al?"

Al pushed his way in front of Roy so his brother could see him. "I'm right here brother."

Ed gave Al a weak smile and closed his eyes. "I...Love you...Al..."

"I love you too, bother," Al replied. Ed smiled again and grabbed Al's large leather hand. He held it loosely as he fell back asleep, and Al didn't move out of the spot. It was like he was frozen in time.

"You two are really close," Roy commented. It was a well known fact that Ed and Al were surprisingly close. Closer than most, if not every, pair of brother's in Amestris.

"We've been through a lot together," Al replied, his gaze never leaving Ed's sleeping form.

Roy nodded sympathetically. There was no separating those two. For better or worse those two are going to remain stuck together like a wad of gum to the bottom of a shoe. Not even death can keep those two apart.

* * *

 **A/N...And so there's chapter 6! Thanks to AnimeFreakShips, PinkishFiction, Attackoneverything, and BigChillFreak for reviewing last chapter. Thank you so much! So, BigChillFreak, how did I do on Al? I think I messed up terribly. Anyway, thanks again to everyone who followed, favorited, or reviewed. Thanks. Till next chapter...**


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 7_**

It was around one in the afternoon when Ed finally began to stir out of his day long slumber. He groaned softly and shifted his weight on the couch. The cool cloth fell from his forehead to the floor. Roy stood up from where he was casually reading his book and walked silently over to Ed, pushing past Al, and kneeling beside the couch. He softly shook Ed's shoulder.

"Edward, wake up," Roy said softly. "Hey, Ed."

Ed groaned again and cracked open one of his eyes to look at Roy. His gaze was wavering and a few seconds later his eyes slid closed again. Roy shook Ed's shoulder again.

"Ed, you have to wake up for a bit," he urged. "You haven't eaten anything today and the doctor said you have to eat lots so you don't lose too much weight."

"Don't wanna," Edward moaned pathetically. Roy reached out again but Ed weakly swatted his hand away. "Lea' me alone."

"Too bad." Roy scooped Ed up in his arms, much to the sick boy's protests. His shouts died down quickly and left him breathing hard. He broke into a coughing fit and Roy had no choice but to put Ed back down onto the couch. Ed leaned into Roy and shut his eyes, coughing harshly between gasps.

Al watched the entire time as Roy held Ed close to him, marveling at how close the two Alchemists had become. It was like only yesterday when they hated each others guts. It was very unlikely but the two have probably changed a lot. To Al, the two almost seemed like father and son.

Ed's coughing slowly died down until it nothing more than few weak coughs every few seconds or so.

"Are you better now?" Roy asked softly.

Ed surprisingly shook his head 'no' and leaned closer to Roy, his face pale and his breathing heavy. "I think..." Ed knit his eyebrows together as he tried to remember what he was trying to say. "I...I feel sick." His voice was small and barely audible but it was clear what Ed had said.

"Are you going to throw up?" Roy asked.

Ed looked confused but shrugged. "Maybe...?"

"Alphonse, could you get Ed a bucket just in case?" Roy asked. In reply, the suit of armor nodded quickly and ran from the room.

Meanwhile, Ed was trying to push himself closer to Roy, shivering despite his high fever. "You're warm," Ed whispered when he had pushed his way under Roy's arm. "I like it."

Roy smiled and pulled Ed closer to him, glad that Ed was comfortable where he was. "Glad you like it." Ed pushed himself closer still and Roy grabbed a thin blanket an draped it over him. Ed snuggled into the fuzziness of the blanket and a small smile appeared on his rosy face.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Al appeared in the room again and placed the bowl on the floor beside the couch. When he saw the way Ed was lying with Roy he wished he had a camera so he could take a picture.

"I never knew brother looked this cute when he was sick," Al commented happily as he took his own seat in the chair across form Ed.

"'M not sleepin'," Ed muttered, hiding his head under the blanket. "'M jus' tired."

The silent returned once again, broken only by Ed's pitiful coughing. Ed was curled up right beside Roy, somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness. He was barely aware of anything that was going on around him but he was still somewhat conscious, just not very responsive.

Roy attempted many times to get Ed up but the most he's received was a pitifully weak grunt and then nothing. No luck. Al was getting worried but no long after his fear kicked in did Ed shift his weight until he was lying stretched out on the couch, his blanket forgotten on the floor. He was sweating a lot and his hand gripped his stomach.

"Brother?" Al asked. Seeing his brother like this really worried him and what he did next would have given him a heart attack if it wasn't for his lack of a physical heart.

Ed gagged softly and doubled over just as Roy thrust the bucked under his face. Ed vomited loudly into the bowl and what was next shocked Al. There were tears growing in the corners of his brother's eyes. The next wave of nausea that passed over him caused the tears to fall like soft little streams that ran down his pale face. Roy was holding Ed upright with one hand while he held the bowl steady with the other.

Al jumped to his feet and gripped Ed's shoulders lightly. His older brother jumped and glanced upward into Al's eyes before squeezing them shut tightly again when another gag raked his body and he retched violently into the bowl.

Ed was trembling violently now. He was barely able to sit upright. Roy was holding him up and Al was trying to wipe away his gathering tears that were streaming down his face. "Brother, it's alight," Al said softly.

"I'm sorry," Ed whimpered, his head drooping. "I'm sorry."

The vomiting lasted several more minutes but by the time Ed was finished he was completely exhausted. Roy wiped the remaining puke off Ed's face as he pushed him down so he was lying on the couch.

"Brother, how are you feeling?" Al asked softly as Roy disappeared out of the room.

Ed never answered. He was lying on his back and his head fell to the side, his eyes closed, and his breathing shallow. Al sat on the ground beside Ed and Roy re-entered the room carrying a damp cloth. He set it across Ed's forehead and a shiver passed through Ed's body at the sudden coolness. He shook his head and moaned but Roy reached his hand forward to steady it.

"You have to keep it on, alright?" Roy said softly, removing his hand from its spot on Ed's head. "You'll get use to it. I promise."

Ed moaned softly again and coughed softly before blindly reaching around for something. His flesh hand made contact with Al's leather hand and he squeezed it weakly.

"Al," he whispered, his voice small. "D-don't leave me, please."

"I promise I'll say right here brother," Al said softly.

Ed smiled weakly and cracked open his eyes momentarily before they slid closed once again. "I hope you do." His grip went slack and his breathing evened out into that of a sleeping person.

Al removed his hand from Ed's and pulled a blanket up to his brother's shoulders. "Good night, brother."

Roy smiled to himself at the sight.

* * *

There was a look of pure pain on Ed's sleeping face. Sweat ran down it like raging streams, mixing with the salty seas that were his tears. Al was holding him in his large metal arms while Ed clung to him like his life depended on it.

"I'm sorry, Al," He whimpered between heavy sobs. "I d-didn't mean t-to. I...I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, brother," Al tried, but it only made Ed worse.

Ed curled himself tighter and hid his head in the crook of Al's arm. Sobs shook his body and he gripped Al as tightly as his frail, sick body could manage.

"No! Give him back." Ed's grip tightened and a whole new level of fear grew in his voice. It was terror filled enough before, but now it was just pure dead fear. Each scream was pitiful yet belonged to that of a soldier on the battle field. Ed' screaming only grew worse as time progressed until he was trembling too much to even hold onto Al.

"He's my only family." Ed's voice had suddenly died down and was now nothing more than a pitiful wailing and whimper. "Don't take him. P-please."

Roy frowned slightly as he watched another flurry of tears roll down Ed's face. "Don't go..."

Roy rose from where he was sitting and walked quietly over to where Ed was. "Alphonse, how is he?"

"I can't tell," Al admitted. "His nightmares are always worse when he's sick."

As if to prove his point, Ed let tout a strangled scream and squeezed Al's arm so tightly that the metal dented. He bit his lower lip until it was bleeding. Roy noticed and began to shake Ed lightly.

"Edward, wake up. Come on," he urged. He couldn't watch this anymore. It was too horrible. There was a trail of blood on Ed's face that ran from the spot he bit his lip and down his chin to where it plopped onto his shirt. "Ed!"

* * *

 _Ed sat beside the bed, his head low and tears threatening to spill. He had to stay strong for Al so he couldn't cry. No matter what he did he couldn't cry. His hand was intertwined with his mother's, who was dying in the bed. She whispered a few words before her eyes glazed over and Al started to cry._

 _The scene shifted to a dark basement, a gruesome monster in the center of the room. Ed screamed and looked for Al, but he was gone. He tried to revive him but nothing worked. The blood seal didn't bond with the armor and the soul was never able to get sealed within. Al was gone. Lost forever._

 _The scene shifted yet again, this time to a lonely street bathed in moonlight. Roy Mustang's mangled remains, blood smeared against the wall, ground bathed in an eerie red pool. gashes crisscrossed his body, his organs trying to escape from a long, deep gash in his abdomen. A man stood before him, blood stained steel blade in one hand and Roy's ignition gloved clenched in the other. The scene was too horrible to comprehend an all Ed managed to do was scream._

* * *

Ed jolted awake with a gasp. His heart pounded in his chest like a hundred horses running through the streets and his breathing was quick. Fear hung low around him, suffocating him. He was barely able to register anything that was going on around him. There was a dull pain on his lip and his mouth was tainted with a sickly iron taste. The taste of blood. He blinked once, still in a daze. Someone was calling out his name but it sounded as if it was underwater.

"Ed!"

Ed turned to look in the direction of the person calling him. It was none other than Roy Mustang. His dream flashed back to him. Roy lying dead, soaked in blood, organs falling out of him, his lifeless eyes staring directly at Ed. His stomach churned and he leaned over and vomited on the floor. It was too much. He didn't even realize he was crying until the salty tears began to blind him.

Someone propped him up and he squeezed his eyes shut. Someone was trying to talk to him but the words were too distant to make out. Instead he just broke down.

* * *

"Edward, answer me," Roy ordered softly, but Ed never responded. Instead, the boy just broke down here he was an started to cry a rainfall of tears. Al held him gently and Ed buried his face in the armor.

"Brother, are you okay?" Al asked as he carefully pulled Ed away from him to wipe away the blood off the side of his mouth. When Ed had suddenly threw up, Roy thought it was throw up until he noticed that it was mainly blood. He planned to take Ed to the hospital but the boy wouldn't stop crying now.

Roy still couldn't forget the pure look of terror in Eds eyes as he looked up at Roy. It was depressing.

"A-Al," Ed whispered suddenly, his voice faint and scratchy. "You s-still th-there?"

"I'm here brother," Al said, bringing his brother close. "How do you feel?"

Ed never answered before he broke into a coughing fit. He doubled over as a red trail ran from his mouth and down his chin. Blood. Ed was coughing up blood again. Roy then decided that he'd better take Ed to the hospital as soon as possible. Even with his disease people occasionally cough up blood but it wasn't a good sign if they did it too often. And the rate Ed was coughing up blood.

Roy should have taken him sooner.

When Ed's coughing had died down Roy instructed Al to lay Ed flat across the couch and the armor did as he was told. Ed was now lying on his back on the couch, his head in a pillow, and a blanket pulled up just below his shoulders. Roy used the damp cloth that had fallen from Ed's head during his nightmare to wipe away the blood that was on his face before tossing it aside.

Edward groaned. "M-Mustang? Where?"

"Shh, just rest," Roy said softly, pushing Ed back down when he tried to get up.

"It...hurts..."

"I know," Roy whispered. "You're going to feel better soon."

Ed was silent after that. His breathing grew shallow and he fell limp soon after that. Roy figured he passed out.

"Alphonse, I'm going to take Ed to the hospital" Roy said. "Can you wait here?"

"But brother-"

"It'll be easier if it's just me taking Ed," Roy explained.

Al looked like he wanted to argue but after a brief hesitation, sighed and agreed that Roy could take Ed with him. Roy nodded, satisfied, and after getting ready, lifted Ed into his arms. Ed moaned slightly but that was the most he got out of the boy. A small, barely audible, moan.

Ed's head had fallen against his shoulder. His automail arm hung uselessly at his side while his flesh arm wrapped its way around Roy neck. Roy grabbed Ed a coat and and made his way to his car where he set Ed down in the passengers seat and shut the door, careful not to get Ed stuck in it accidentally. He got into the drivers seat and off they went.

The ride was quiet but when they finally got to the hospital Ed was partially awake but pretty much out of it. His eyes were half open and fogged over, staring at nothing in particular. Roy walked around the car and lifted Ed out of it. The boy clung to him as he made his way to the hospital doors. He didn't even seem to know where he was. Roy walked up to the front desk and requested to speak with the doctor who had treated Ed when he had first come there.

The receptionist pointed to a row of seats and told them that the doctor would see them shortly. Roy sat down and placed Ed in the seat beside him. However, it soon became apparent that Ed didn't want to sleep sitting up. Instead, he spread himself out, taking up three chairs, and quickly and silently dove into sleep, his head in Roy's lap. Roy smiled and just watched Ed's chest rise and fall until he heard someone calling his name.

Roy looked up and saw the doctor that had previously treated Ed standing about two feet away.

"I'm here to see Edward Elric," he said after glancing at his clipboard.

Roy nodded and rose to his feet. He grabbed Edward and held him in his arms. Dr. Colbert nodded his head and lead the way down the hall and into another small room. Roy put Ed down in a chair and gently tried to rouse him as the doctor went over his notes. By the time he was done Ed was only partially awake and still dazed.

"What brings you here today?" Dr. Colbert asked in a professional tone.

"This morning Ed was coughing up blood and then about a half hour before bringing him here he threw up and there was a fair bit of blood in it." Roy put his hand firmly, yet gently, on Ed's shoulder.

"Hmm." The doctor was deep in thought. "Could you explain what was happening wen he began coughing up blood?"

Roy recalled the events of the day. "He first started coughing up blood right after his younger brother showed up out of the blue. Edward looked like he was about to pass out after his brother walked into the living room. The second time was after his nightmare. He woke up and threw up on the floor. There was a fair bit of blood in the vomit."

Dr. Colbert nodded and jotted a few things onto his clipboard before walking over to Ed and kneeling in front of him. "Hello, Edward. How are you feeling?" His voice was calm as he asked this.

Ed only stared, never answering his question. The doctor stood up and faced Roy. "I'd like to run a few tests to make sure it's nothing bad. Could you wait in the waiting room until I'm done."

Roy nodded and was about to go before a broken voice prevented him from moving any further. "No, p-please d-don't go."

Roy turned and found Ed trying to get out of the chair but the doctor held him down with on hand. Ed was really weak. Roy couldn't leave now. He walked back and sat on the ground beside Ed.

"Dr. Colbert, can I stay? I don't think Ed's going to like it if I leave him."

"I'm sorry, Roy," the doctor apologized. "But you cannot stay."

Roy took that as the final answer and left the room without ever looking back. He couldn't bring himself to watch Ed struggling against the doctor as he tried to stop Roy from abandoning him. It was too painful to watch.

* * *

He waited an hour before the doctor walked over to him, closely followed by a nurse who held a dazed Ed in her arms. She sat Ed in one of the chairs as the doctor talked to Roy. "He's most likely been throwing up blood because of stress. From what you told me and from what Edward told us, he's bee very stressed out lately. I suggest that you should get him away from whatever is stressing him out.

"I also ran a few more tests," Dr. Colbert continued, "and have come to the conclusion that Edward is underweight. He needs more food if he wants any hope of fighting off the disease."

Ed groaned from where he was sitting and Roy turned to him, concerned. "Edward, are you alright?"

Ed's responded was a small moan. Roy turned back to the doctor. "Do you know when we can go. I think Ed's tired."

"You're free to go now. Make sure Edward gets plenty of rest, though."

Roy nodded and picked up Ed, who immediately clung to Roy like a monkey. He headed to the door when Ed's grip tightened and his body stiffened. "Ed?"

The boy never responded but Roy swore he felt a wet drop on his neck but he shook it off. It was probably nothing. A figment of his imagination, perhaps. It wasn't until he put Ed in the car that he noticed the boy was crying.

"Ed, is everything alright?" He asked, concerned. What if something was wrong with Ed? What is he was scared? What if-

"'M fine," Ed whispered, almost too quiet for Roy to hear. "Jus' happy to know that I'm not dyin'."

"You're right," Roy said softly. "You're not dying."

Ed smiled as Roy did up the boys seat belt and shut the car door. He smiled to himself as he started the car and drove back to his place. He was glad that Ed wasn't going to die as well, and he was glad because Ed wasn't scared. But most of all, he was glad because he finally saw the long lost hope igniting once again in Ed's eyes.

* * *

 **A/N...I was going to post this chapter tomorrow but I decided to post it early. Like always, I'd like to thank BigChillFreak, AnuhdahPerson, Attackoneverything, Brittany, miuruzeny, PinkishFiction, the cooter, and Guest for reviewing last chapter. Thank you so much! I'd also like to thank everyone who followed or favorited his story. Thank you. I love knowing that people enjoy reading my story.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 8_**

A loud crash and bang sounded from the kitchen, jolting Roy out of his light sleep. He leapt to his feet, panicked. Alphonse was at the store and Ed was sleeping on the couch, so who could-

Roy's eyes landed on the empty couch. Where was Ed? His heart pounded in his chest and he feared the worst. A long list of 'what ifs' buzzed thought his mind. And the list was long. Dashing into the kitchen, his legs propelling him, Roy found Ed sitting in the middle the kitchen, shattered glass surrounding him. He was holding his head.

"Edward?" Roy called, approaching Ed, careful to avoid the shards of glass that littered the floor. "What happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"Sh-shut up," Ed muttered. He winced at the words and pulled his knees to his chest. Roy walked forward cautiously until he was standing beside Ed.

"Why is there glass on the floor?" Roy asked softly.

"I t-told you to...to sh-shut the hell up," Ed muttered, wincing again.

"Don't you dare tell me to shut up," Roy growled. "Now tell me why the hell my kitchen's covered in glass."

"Sh-Shut-"

"Don't give me that crap." Roy was close to yelling. "Tell me why there's glass everywhere.

"Shut up." Ed's voice was significantly softer than it was before. His words trembled and he curled tighter. "L-leave me alone."

Roy had enough and yanked Ed to his feet. He was worried about the boy. He gave the boy a hard look and Ed gave in under the pressure and told Roy what happened.

"I-I was thirsty. You were sleeping so I-I went to get some water myself. But I couldn't reach the cups so I climbed onto the counter but I fell down and the cup broke and-"

"You could have seriously hurt yourself," Roy scolded. "Or worse."

"I'm sorry."

Roy continued to scold Ed, many times receiving an 'I'm sorry' from Ed. But as he scolded, he failed to notice the deep cut above Ed's right eye, or the other cuts that crisscrossed his body. The crimson that seeped through his shirt. The various colors and types of glass that littered the floor never reached his eye. He was too busy scolding Ed to realize how the boy kept his flesh arm pressed against his chest or the fact that he favored one foot over the other. No. He was to busy scolding to notice that Ed was hurt. He was scolding because he didn't want the boy to get hurt yet the same boy was standing in front of him, wincing every time Roy's voice got to a certain volume. He was being to much of a bastard to realize just how much his words hurt Ed more than he was physically.

It was then that Al decided to walk into the room, his hands full of the groceries Roy had sent him to get. When Ed saw him he paled and broke free from Roy's grip, running as fast as he could across the glass littered floor. He fell once or twice in the short trek but when he finally made it he lunged at Al and buried his face in his chest plate.

Al dropped the groceries and held Ed gingerly in his arms, confused. "Brother, what's wrong."

"I-I'm sorry. I-I d-didn't me-mean t-to," Ed sobbed. "I-I'll pay. I-I-I'll clean it up. P-please d-don't be...be ma-mad at...at me."

Al looked over at Roy, who walked forward, kneeling beside Al. He placed his hand on Ed's back but a small scream stopped him from doing anything. Ed's body was stiff and he was breathing heavy. Roy had no idea what had gotten into him until he saw the crimson that was beginning to seep through his shirt. He carefully pulled up the shirt to reveal the many shards of glass that had wedged themselves into his flesh. How did this-?

Then he remembered. Ed fell from the counter, the glass was centered around where he was sitting. Roy cursed himself for not realizing it sooner. When Ed fell from the counter he had already dropped a few glasses and landed right where they had shattered; right in the hot spot of the glass. No wonder he winced when he tried to move. He must be hurting.

"Edward."

Ed looked at Roy. Tears were gathering in his eyes and a few were already falling. Whether from the pain or because Roy was being too harsh with him, he had no clue.

"Can you walk to the bathroom for me?" He asked softly.

Ed gave a small nod but when he made an attempt to stand he immediately fell back down; on his back. He whimpered and Roy helped him sit up quickly, trying to cause as little discomfort as he possibly could. Well, now that he knew Ed couldn't walk he was going to have to carry him. He lifted Ed in his arms and positioned him so that nothing was touching his back as he made his way up the stairs and to the bathroom. The only problem was that the bathroom was too small and cramped for Al to fit in.

"I'll be fine to do this myself," Roy told the nervous armor. "How about you make a comfortable bed for Ed on the couch."

Al nodded, agreeing with what Roy said, and headed downstairs to make Ed a comfortable place to rest.

Roy turned to face Ed where he was sitting on the toilet seat. He remembered something like this happening with Havoc once. He stepped on a cup and got glass in his foot so Roy took it out for him. He never went to the hospital so Ed didn't need to either, right? He grabbed a towel out of the cupboard and laid it out on the ground before maneuvering Ed so he was sitting in the middle of the towel. After that he carefully removed Ed's shirt and then set it down next to him.

Roy gathered everything he would need and sat behind Ed. Wetting a cloth, Roy squeezed the excess water out so it streamed down Ed's back, washing away any blood. Once he was able to see the glass more clearly, he grabbed the tweezers and carefully began to pull out each individual shard of glass out of Ed's skin. Ed winced every so often, uttered a whimper, but that was about it. It took longer, much longer, than he had thought but when he was finally done he wet the cloth again and wiped off Ed's back. After disinfecting it he bound it in a bandaged and turned to examine the rest of Ed.

There were a few more spots around him that had a piece of glass stuck in so he repeated the process over until he was free of all glass. Then he gingerly took Ed's flesh hand in his own and looked it over. Ed winced and was biting his lip hard every time it moved even slightly. There was swelling around the wrist and the rest of the hand was bloody from being scratched up. Roy figured he used that hand to catch him as he fell but it didn't work out as he planned. Roy wrapped the hand in a bandage, thankful that Al had just bought more because he was running low. He breathed a sigh of relief that Ed was alright. Maybe he had been a bit to harsh with Ed. The boy almost cried earlier because of his stupidity. He had to learn to watch his mouth.

"Ed, I'm going to bring you to the living room. Alright?"

Ed nodded and Roy lifted him up in his arms, careful not to cause him any unnecessary pain. He carried him downstairs and found that Al had already prepared a bed for Ed. Roy had to admit, he'd pay to sleep on it.

Roy set Ed gently down on the couch and the boy was immediately surrounded by the blankets and pillows. Roy smiled and pulled one of the blankets over top of Ed, a smile on his face.

"Th-thank you," Ed whispered.

Roy felt pride swelling in his chest at the words Ed said to him. "Your welcome." He smiled as Ed fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning Roy woke to the sound of a gentle snore. Confusion momentarily overtook him until he realized that it was Ed. But that meant Roy fell asleep in his armchair. _Damn it_. He cursed at himself for sleeping there, knowing that he was bound to have back pains later. His prediction proved true when stood and heard several nasty cracks that caused him to hiss. His hissing must have disturbed Ed, who stirred in his sleep and cracked open one eye, still cloudy with sleep, to stare at Roy.

"Colonel?" He whispered, confusion coating each word he mumbled.

"Good morning, Ed," Roy greeted. "Did you sleep well?"

"Back hurts," he muttered crossly. "And arm." Ed's injured arm was still pushed against his chest. Last night, well after Ed had fallen asleep, Roy put some ice on his swollen wrist to bring down the swelling. It worked but it was still swollen. "What happened last night?"

"Don't you remember?" Roy asked.

"I do, but..." Ed knit his eyebrows together like he always did while in deep concentration. "It's all kinda fuzzy. Hard to remember."

Roy nodded, understanding. As he explained the nights events in detail to Ed, the boy's eyes slowly regained their sharp golden glow, no longer foggy from sleep. He often nodded his head or frowned as Roy explained. When Roy was finished there was a look of understanding on Ed's face that wasn't there before. He slowly nodded his head for the last time, his automail arm holding his injured wrist lightly.

"I'm sorry." Ed looked away from Roy, a frown on his face.

"There's no need to be sorry," Roy said, not wanting to stress Ed out any more than he needed to be. "I don't care."

"But still." Ed's voice was quiet. "I'm sorry."

Roy sat down in the armchair and noticed Al walk into the room with Ed's medicine. That's when he remembered that Ed hadn't taken it yet. Al handed it to Roy, who walked over to Ed. In an attempt to prop Ed up he accidentally touched his back, earning a pained yelp from Ed. "Sorry, Ed. I forgot."

"Remember next time," Ed snapped, wincing at the end of the sentence.

After managing to prop Ed up using a few pillows, Roy handed Ed the glass of water but his hand was shaking so much he nearly dropped the glass the moment his fingers curled around it. Roy instead, handed him his pills. When the two pills were in Ed's mouth Roy put the rim of the glass to Ed's slightly parted lips and poured the cool liquid into his mouth. Ed swallowed and Al injected him. Releasing a content sigh, Ed leaned against the back of the couch, his eyes closed.

"Brother?"

"'M alright, Al." Ed sighed, long and heavy.

Al nodded and took his usual seat on the floor beside the couch. He just stared at Ed with his unmoving, soulfire, eyes. His gaze remained glued, transfixed, to his older brother. Obvious fear clouded his thoughts as he stared him. It was clear as day how much he truly cared for his older brother. No one ever gave him the credit he deserved.

Ed shifted where he was but accidentally shifted to much and he fell right off the couch and onto the hard floor. He yelped loudly from the sudden pain of landing flat on his back, his injured arm under him. Roy dashed over to his side and tried to help him up but Ed pushed him away and instead just lied where he was, his breathing heavy gasps.

"Brother?"

"Edward?"

"L-leave me alone," he gasped out before squeezing his eyes shut tight. He poor kid landed right on his injured back, not to mention his injured wrist got trapped under him during the fall. He must be in pain.

"Don't be stubborn, Ed," Roy scolded softly. "You're clearly in pain. Just let us help you get back onto the couch."

"No. I'm fine." His voice was a dead giveaway. It was scratchy and sounded as if it was soar. Each word was forced out and was a raspy whisper.

Roy glanced at Al, who nodded. While Alphonse grabbed Ed's legs, Roy hooked his arms beneath Ed's shoulders. They silently counted down from three and together they lifted Ed off the floor and laid him across the couch, receiving only a short grunt from Edward as his back made contact with the cushions.

"Warn me next time," Ed muttered crossly. He breathed out a quick sigh and allowed himself to sink lower into the cushions, a content look on his face.

"Brother," Al began, but Ed cut him off.

"I'm alright," he said as if knowing exactly what Al was going to say. "Don't worry about me." He rolled over to he was facing away from Al. "I'm tired. Please don't wake me."

"Alright, brother," Al agreed, a bit reluctantly.

Al re-took his place on the floor beside the couch and sat there as Ed drifted off. However, he failed to notice the guilty look plastered across Ed's face or the way all of the color drained from the teens face when Al said 'brother' in a worried tone. He never noticed how Ed's heart picked up speed or his sudden ragged breathing. Despite being the closest brothers in Amestris, Alphonse Elric failed to notice that Ed's stress had reached another level. A level higher than any realized.

* * *

Edward closed his eyes, faking his sleep. Sure, he was tired, but he knew that, no matter how hard he tried, he would never be granted the pleasure of sleep. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest like a hundred drums. The heartbeat made its way into his ears, blocking out every other noise he'd rather hear. _Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump._ The rhythm was a constant pattern that repeated itself to no end. He would die if he stopped it but the sound was like an alarm to his ears, reminding himself of the raw fear in his younger brother's voice as he spoke. The hollow echo that was normally soothing to hear, but now it was filled with a vast sea of pain. A trembling, earthquake of pain without ever ending. The blood seal the epicenter, the after shocks that reverberated through him. There was no way he could forget.

He bit his lower lip, wishing that it would somewhat relieve some of the pain filled burden resting upon his shoulders. Blood was drawn, his mouth was tainted with the metallic red river, but he ignored it like he was trying to do with the may other things that burdened him. He could feel the blood running down his chin but he just buried his face into a pillow to hide the evidence from whoever happened to look at him. He didn't want Al to worry about him anymore.

His breath caught in his throat and he chocked back a sob. Why did it have to be him? Why? He had to watch after Al, restore him, but now it looked like an impossible challenge, a mountain too high to climb. Why did everything he hold dear to him keep vanishing? His goals were nothing more than a mere wisp of the once bright possibilities. It was an impossible obstacle. He remembered hearing Roy talking to Al the previous day when they thought he was asleep. What he heard was enough to throw all hope out the window.

" _If Ed survives the disease he'll be effected by it for the rest of his life,"_ Roy had said to Al. _"The doctors know a fair bit about it and the persons immune system weakens and they become physically weaker as well. Ed's no different. On his recent trip to the hospital I found that out."_

He wasn't going to be able to go on any more missions. He wasn't going to be able to restore Al's body. Was every bit, every scrap, of information he'd managed to dig up during his journey for nothing? There wasn't anything to do. He was weak, powerless, a bed ridden fool who can't do anything. He couldn't even hold himself up for more than a few minutes before getting light-headed. Why was the world such a cruel bastard?

He clenched his hand as it had begun to shake, ignoring the spike of pain that shot all the way up to his shoulder and through his chest. It wasn't fair. But maybe he deserved it? No. He just wanted to cry. He wanted to curl up and die. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't. But maybe...?

No. He wasn't going to let the disease effect him. He was going to take a stand. He was going to declare war against the disease. He was going to stand strong and win against his impossible foe. He was going to prove the doctors wrong. He was going to prove that everyone was wrong. He was going to come out victorious and stand up for what he thought he deserve. And nothing, _nothing,_ was going to stop him from reaching his long sought for goal.

* * *

 **A/N...Hello there. I finally, after much procrastination, posted this chapter, although it's several days late. Anyway, thanks to BigChillFreak, AnuhdahPerson, Attackoneverything, AnimeFreakShips, and PinkishFiction for reviewing last chapter. Thank you so much!**

 **At some humiliated point as I wrote this chapter I accidentally referred to Al as Ed's _older_ brother. I was ****humiliated** **at the mistake and was so glad I found it before I posted. Well, that's about it. I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can. Hope you enjoyed.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 9_**

A blockade of rain poured from the sky, creating a barrier from the thousands of droplets that fell every second. A thick layer of rolling gray clouds blocked the sky, bestowing the land below a blackish hue. A fierce wind tore through the streets, tossing anything that wasn't bound down, howling through the trees as they groaned from the pressure of being caught in the midst of a fierce storm.

Roy turned from the window and walked silently across the room to where Ed was lying on the couch. Ever since the afternoon he's been rather pale and hasn't been talking, and once the storm broke out he began clutching his automail ports. Now that the storm had reached its full potential Ed was clearly in a lot of pain. A layer of sweat glistened on his face that was twisted in pain. His entire body was stiff and he was breathing heavily. His illness had also increased as well and now a fever had broken out, getting only worse as time progressed.

When Ed had first started showing signs that he was in pain, Alphonse new that it must be because of the weather so he ran back their hotel to get the painkillers he usually forced Ed to take during really bad storms. But unfortunately, the storm had begun soon after he left and was now stranded who knows where. If he went out in a storm as bad as the one they were having now, then there was a good chance that his blood seal could get washed off, killing him. So he did what was best and stayed back. So that's the reason Roy was stuck trying to take care of Ed in the storm alone. Another bad thing. The phone lines were down so he had no means of contacting anyone to ask what to do about Ed or to get them to drive Al back.

Well, it wasn't like anyone would have driven Al back even if they were ordered to. Central city hasn't seen a storm this bad since the Fuhrer was in his twenties. Yeah, that's a long time. It was like the world was just trying to give him a hard time because it decided that it wanted to have a power outage. The lights suddenly shut off, plunging the room into a shadowy darkness. Now Roy was stuck watching Ed, alone, in the dark.

Roy blindly began walking through the house, his arms out in front of him, his eyes wide open. The darkness was closing in on him, trapping him, stealing his eyesight. He tried to find the couch where Ed was but unfortunately managed to trip over the coffee table and fall to the ground, banging his head against the floor. He sat up, blinking stars out his eyes.

"C-colonel?" Ed's voice broke through the darkness. "Are-are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm alright, Ed," Roy said. _You liar._ His head hurt like hell and he was dizzy. Perhaps the impact to the floor was harder than he thought.

"A-are you sure?" Ed asked. He sounded scared.

"I'm sure." Roy rose to his feet and found his way over to Ed, who was sitting upright on the couch, rigid with fear.

"Colonel? Is that you?" Ed asked.

"It's me," Roy reassured. He sat down beside Ed on the couch and tapped the boys shoulder to let him know that he as there. Ed jumped slightly before pushing himself closer to Roy, leaning into him. Roy sank against the back of the couch, Ed's head on his shoulder and his flesh hand loosely gripping his shirt. Roy pushed his hand to Ed's forehead, frowning at the sudden increase in temperature.

"Your fever's worse," Roy spoke aloud, his voice soft. He pulled his hand away from Ed's head. "Are you feeling sick?"

Ed nodded. "Mmm," was the only sound he made and he pushed himself closer to Roy, his head moving from his shoulder to where it now rested, pressed between the back of the couch and Roy. A sigh escaped the colonel as he carefully pulled Ed away from the couch and re-positioned him so his head was in his lap.

Ed grunted and tried to hide his head again but Roy stopped him and held him still. "Stay still, will you?" Roy asked, impatient, as Ed struggled against his gentle grip.

The boy shook his head and stretched out, taking up the entire couch, save for the small spot he allowed Roy to have, but even there, he was being used as a pillow. Ed's eyes were closed and his head was in Roy's lap, his mouth hanging open, and a small trail of drool running down his chin. He looked peaceful despite his sweaty, ashen face, and shivering form. Roy grabbed the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and pulled it around Ed, who grabbed the cornet weakly and held it.

"Get some sleep," Roy ordered softly. He carefully rose to his feet and adjusted Ed so his head was on a proper pillow. He tucked the blanket in closer to Ed and smiled to himself as he took a step back only to stare at Ed, contemplating at how adorable he looked when he was sleeping. No longer a soldier, but a young child. The young child he should be in the childhood he lost.

Roy sat down on the armchair, and, for the first time, remembered his own childhood. The days he spend running through the grassy fields with his friends, the deep snow he ran through, the sunny days in summer that he spent at a lake. He remembered going to school, studying hard for tests, working towards getting into a good collage. Then he compared his to what he knew of Ed's. His heart sank. The boy never grew up, he might look mature and strong, but in reality, he was as weak as any other kid his age, as immature as anyone. Yet he pushed down all of his unnecessary emotions and focused on pretending to be what he wasn't He was a child, not a soldier. And Roy was the one who brought him down this path.

He sighed and tried to shove the thoughts from his mind. It was no use thinking about this. He instead, continued to stare at Ed, listening to the raindrops that hit the glass of his window, drowning out any other sounds around him.

* * *

 _BOOM!_

Roy jolted awake at the sudden noise, looking around. His heart pounded from being momentarily panicked, but now he new exactly what had happened. It was thunder. The flash of light outside gave it away. He hated thunder, it was too damn loud, but he just tried his best to ignore it. It was embarrassing to know that he had been scared by something so harmless as thunder, but since he was sleeping he figured even the bravest person would have been startled as well.

Another bang, this one followed by a yelp. Roy looked in Ed's direction to find that the boy's head was pushed under a pillow. Roy walked forward, his feet softly hitting the floor, and knelt beside the couch, his hand shaking Ed gently.

"Edward?"

Another flash. Ed's body stiffened. Roy shook Ed a bit faster than he had before.

"Ed?"

 _BANG!_

Ed flinched. Roy shook Ed a bit faster. "Ed." When Ed never responded, Roy pulled the blanket away and stole his pillow, revealing a tear stained face. In less than a second, Ed had launched himself at Roy, holding him tight, head buried in his superiors chest. Roy was shocked but soon just nodded to himself and gently hugged Ed as he held him in his arms.

Yet another strike of lightning. Ed squeezed Roy tighter, clinging on for dear life. His entire body was trembling without an end in sight. Sobs shook his shivering form as he clung to Roy, who carefully maneuvered himself so he was sitting on the couch, Ed in his lap. The boy's head was still buried in Roy's chest as the older man ran his hand through Ed's greasy hair.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently. Ed stiffened and buried his head deeper in Roy's chest.

"M-make it g-go away" he whimpered pathetically. "P-please."

Roy felt his heart sink like a rock in his chest. He stopped running his fingers through Ed's hair and just froze, not knowing what to do. It was painfully obvious what Ed wanted to go away, but Roy was powerless to do anything. He couldn't make it go away, it wasn't possible. Even with Alchemy, that was something man couldn't do. He couldn't stop the lightning or the thunder. There was just no way. Ed was crying and he couldn't do anything!

Roy cursed himself for being so useless. The rain was to blame.

"I can't make it go away," Roy admitted painfully. "But I want you to stay strong for me. I know you can do it. Please, Ed, don't let this bother you." He pulled Ed close. "I know you're scared, but there's nothing you or I can do."

Ed nodded. The next thunder bang didn't effect him as much, but it still startled him enough to cause him to flinch. Roy knew there must have been a reason for Ed being this scared, but he never asked. He just sat there, holding Ed in his lap, comforting the distressed boy, in the middle of a power outage.

It was still raining the next morning but the thunder and lightning was finally gone. Around three in the morning the storm ended, and Ed fell asleep rather quickly, his stress slowly diminishing enough for him to pass out silently in Roy's arms. The Colonel, however, couldn't find the heart to move Ed so he stayed where he was for the rest of the night until he, too, had fallen asleep, only to be woken up by a sudden bright light.

It took him a moment to realize what it was before it suddenly dawned on him. The power was back on. He groggily rose to his feet, careful to lay Ed on the couch without disturbing him, and flick the light switch off. Then another thought occurred to him. Alphonse wasn't back yet.

 _Better find out where he is_ , Roy decided, heading to the kitchen to dial the number of Ed's hotel. It rang a few times before it was picked up. "I'm looking for Alphonse Elric...he went there last night...You haven't seen him...he's a suit of armor. What's there to miss...Alright...bye."

Roy put the phone back into the receiver and sighed. So Al didn't arrive at the hotel last night? So where else would he be? Maybe no one noticed him come in? No, it wouldn't hard to miss a suit of armor walk through the doors of a hotel in the middle of a storm.

"What am I going to tell Ed?" Roy asked himself.

"Tell me what?" Came a small, shaky voice from the entrance to the kitchen. Roy turned and saw Ed standing there, leaning heavily on the door frame, all the color drained from his face. Roy rushed over and steadied Ed as he had begun to sway on his feet.

"What are you doing up?" Roy demanded softly, beginning to guide Ed back to the couch. "You should be sleeping."

"It's cold," Ed complained, his excuse a poor one. "It was warm until you left." Roy made Ed sit on the couch and he sat beside him. Ed pressed himself into Roy and closed his eyes. "Who were you on the phone with?"

"No one important," Roy replied quickly. "Just go back to sleep."

Ed shook his head stubbornly. "You were talkin' 'bout Al, weren't you?"

"Just go to sleep."

"What were you talking about?"

"Just go to sleep."

"Where's Al?"

"Just go to sleep."

"What happened to Al?"

During the course of the conversation, Ed's voice had gained a significant level of fear, intense fear that shook with each word he said. His voice was loud, high pitched, trembling with fear.

"Just-"

"No!" Ed practically shouted. He wasn't going to take this anymore. "Something's wrong. Tell me what happened to Al. Where is he?"

"Edward."

Ed pushed away from Roy and ran. However, he didn't make it far before his legs gave way and he crumpled to the ground. Roy was at his side in seconds, helping Ed off the ground. Ed slapped him away.

"Don't touch me," he growled. He tried to push himself to his feet on his own, but only ended up falling again. "Damn it! Why am I so useless?" There was, however, no anger remaining in his voice. It was pure sadness. Ed truly believed that he was useless. The boy tightened his hands into fists, knuckles turning white on his flesh hand, and pushed himself up so he was standing. "I'm not sitting around doing nothing," he said as if to himself. "I'll find him." It sounded as if he was tried to reassure himself. Telling himself that he wasn't abandoning Al.

Ed tried to head back to the door but stopped suddenly, leaning heavily against a wall. His eyes were closed. Roy walked over and layed a gently hand on Ed's shoulder.

"You shouldn't stress yourself out over this," he said calmly. "I'll call around and ask if anyone's seen him. Nothing's wrong with Al. The rain stalled him. Just wait. He'll come back."

Ed looked like he wanted to protest but instead looked away, hurt evident in his eyes. "You'd better not be lying. If anything's happened to him-"

"I promise he's alright." Roy reassured again. "Just sit down before you pass out."

This time Ed never complained as Roy led him across the room and pushed him onto the couch. Ed grit his teeth and leaned back, his gaze never once leaving the window, envisioning a suit of armor clanking past it on its way to the door. His chin collided with the back of the couch as he stared, unblinking, at his chosen spot.

Roy disappeared for a minute, only to return with a glass of water and Ed's medicine. He waved the pills in front of Ed's face, distracting him from his never ending staring contest with an imaginary sight just long enough for him to take him pills. After that, he returned to staring at the window as if in some sort of trance, his eyes glazed over and a frown on his face. He never noticed the needle puncturing his skin or the blanket that was draped over his back. He just stared at that spot, never moving so much as an inch. It worried Roy, but he figured he'd do the same if he was worried about someone.

Upon remembering what he told Ed, he disappeared into the kitchen to begin calling around, looking for anyone who might know where Alphonse was.

* * *

Ed couldn't remove his eyes from that spot even if his life depended on it. The only thing he could think of was his brother and were he might be. Soon enough his thoughts became overwhelming and he was lost in another unknown territory. His vision began to blur but he paid no heed to it, or anything else. He was terrified for his brother, scared. He knew the risks of Al running off to get him his painkillers, even though the pain was bearable enough. He didn't need them. He wasn't hurting anymore. What if his blood seal washed off? What if he was kidnapped? What if he was killed? Ed shook his head to clear it, returning his undying staring contest with the window the window.

Al was out there somewhere, and no matter how much Ed wished he could go out searching for him he knew he couldn't. He was barely able to clear half the distance of the room without nearly passing out, and running around the town would kill him. He couldn't let that happen.

"Edward!" Roy's voice cut through his thoughts and fears, distracting him from his endless worries. "I've found Al."

Ed literally jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen, forgetting all about his unusual weakness until he make a surprising fall and slid across the kitchen floor. The wall stopped him. His head hit the hard surface and he hissed.

Roy lifted him to his feet and set him down in a chair. "You should have known better," Roy scolded. However, there wasn't any anger or disappointment in the scold.

"Where's Al?" Ed demanded, blinking away stars. His head really hurt.

"He's at my office," Roy said calmly. "Hawkeye said he showed up their this morning. Since I had to go there to work anyway, I'll bring you along and take you guys back here at lunch. I've got to leave in ten minutes."

Ed nodded. "I'll get ready." He made to get up but Roy stopped him from doing so.

"I'll get ready," he corrected, "and you'll sit here and wait."

Ed pouted but muttered, "Fine."

Roy ruffled Ed's hair before turning to leave. Ed was caught off guard by what he did and never got a chance to ask why the hell Roy did that. Instead, he put his head on the table and stared at the wall where a clock slowly ticked away. His eyelids grew heavy and threatened to close. He blinked slowly before pushing the invading sleep away from him.

 _Hurry up, Roy_ , Ed thought. _I want to see Al. I need to see him. Please hurry._

It was becoming harder and harder to keep his eyes open now. He yawned loudly and blinked away the fuzziness that was gathering in the corners of his vision. Why was he so tired? He yawned again and rubbed his eyes. He shut his eyes at last but willed himself to stay conscious. Apparently his attempts were left in vain because the next time he opened his eyes he was in a car driving down the street.

"You sleep well?" An amused voice asked.

"Huh?" Ed turned his gaze to find Roy sitting in the drivers seat. They were pulling into Central HQ. "When did I get in the car?" he asked, his words slurred. He was too tired to think. He just wanted to sleep, but he knew that was very unlikely.

"You fell asleep at the table," Roy reported. He got out of the car and opened Ed's door. "I carried you to the car."

Ed nodded his head and got out of the car. He leaned heavily against the side of the car as Roy grabbed a bag from the back seat and laid a hand on Ed's shoulder. "You alright?"

Ed nodded his head. "I'm fine. It's just cold."

Upon hearing Ed's response, Roy removed his military coat and wrapped it around Ed. Ed tried taking it off but Roy wouldn't let him. "If you're cold then wear this. I forgot to grab you a coat before I left."

Another protest tried to force its way out of Ed but he pushed it away and allowed Roy to guide him away from the car and through the nearly empty halls of HQ. By the time they reached the doors to Roy's office, Ed was near exhausted and as tired as ever. He shouldn't have been this tired, but for some reason he was. He paid the unusual tiredness no heed as he followed Roy through the doors only to be immediately greeted by Al.

"Brother. I'm so sorry I didn't come home last night. It was raining really hard and I didn't want my blood seal to wash away and-"

Ed v his hand, signaling Al to stop talking. "It's alright. I'm just glad you're alright." It was true. He no longer cared that Al never came back last night. If his blood seal washed off, Ed would have blamed himself for letting him leave in the first place. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself. If Al were to die because of him then he would have run away.

Roy's hand landed on his shoulder. "Why don't you go sit down before you pass out. You're looking rather pale."

Ed glanced at him before looking at the leather couch. It looked really comfortable. It looked like it was calling him. He nodded his head before he headed over and collapsed onto the cushions. It was really comfortable.

Again, the tiredness that haunted him returned, and for whatever reason, he gave in to the pressure and allowed his eyes to slide shut. However, he still didn't allow himself to sleep. For whatever reason, he felt like he shouldn't sleep. As he lied there, he felt something fuzzy fall on top of him and warmth enveloped him. He was surrounded by something fuzzy and he sank deeper into it.

"Sleep well, brother," a voice said to him. That was the last thing he was able to make out before he let out a long yawn and fell straight into the dark depths of a silent sleep.

* * *

 **A/N...And done! I finally got around to proof reading this chapter. I meant to do it yesterday, but I put it off. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Thanks to 1freespirit, BigChillFreak, Attackoneverything, AnimeFreakShips, DarkFlameFantasy, AnuhdahPerson, and PinkishFiction for reviewing last chapter. I love reading your reviews and read them as I write the next chapter. Your guys' reviews motivate me so much. Thank you! Anyway, thanks a lot. I'll post the next chapter soon.**


	10. Chapter 10

_I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 **Chapter 10**

That day was one of the few rare days in the office. Roy had a surprisingly small pile of paper work, and the stuff he did have was finished in less than an hour. After that he did practically nothing. Well, it wasn't like there was anything for him to do. He finished his paperwork and until he got more he was as free as a bird. At one pint he was playing cards with Havoc until the game was interrupted when Ed woke up. The boy apparently had a nightmare and it took a good hour to calm him down. Roy was now sitting on the couch with Ed clinging to his tightly to his arm, his breathing uneven, and a few tear tracks running down his ashen face.

"Are you alright now?" Roy asked softly.

Ed gave a small nod of his head but didn't loosen his grip on Roy. In fact, he seemed to be holding tighter. "D-don't go," he begged, his voice small. "P-please."

"I'm not going anywhere," Roy reassured softly, brushing Ed's bangs out of his face. "I promise."

Ed smiled weakly, his eyes closed. "G-good." he pushed himself closer to Roy and hid his head. The blanket was wrapped around Ed's frail body and the blue military coat he currently donned was easily noticeable. Roy, however, was wearing nothing more than a white collared shirt and the lower part of the military uniform. He didn't care, though, Ed was more important than dress regulations. Besides, Ed didn't listen to it anyway and he never got in trouble for it.

Ed yawned loudly and curled into a small ball. Roy shifted himself so that he had the entire couch to himself and replaced his lap with a pillow. Ed never seemed to notice and just grabbed the blanket and tried to pull it over himself. He ultimately failed with the task. Roy took it in himself to finish what Ed had starter and took the blanket from Ed's weak grip and pulled it over Ed himself, tucking it carefully around the boy.

It was no more than a minute before Ed was asleep. Roy let out a breath and walked back to his desk.

"Hey boss," Havoc spoke up. He surprisingly had no cigarette in his mouth or anywhere near him. Havoc knew about Ed's condition and had agreed to not smoke before seeing Ed or going near him when he stank of it. And that meant no smoking in the office. "Why's the chief so tired?"

Roy leaned back in his chair. "The doctor adjusted his medicine a bit. It usually makes the person taking it drowsy. That and Ed's sick and hasn't been able to get much good sleep lately."

Havoc nodded understandingly and went back to his new card partner: Breda. And so far, the smoker was losing terribly.

Roy turned his gaze from the, far from entertaining, card game, and instead just stared out of his office window at the scenery. The sun low in the sky, the grass bright green, a soft breeze blowing. It was all so peaceful. So peaceful in fact that Roy successfully managed to doze off, only to be re-awoken to the sound of frantic shouting. He opened one bleary eye to find Ed doubling over, hand gripping his stomach.

"Colonel, get your ass over here," Havoc ordered.

Roy knew immediately what was going on and he jumped from his chair and dashed over to Ed right after dumping out his waste bin. Ed was being held up by Havoc and Hawkeye. He poor kid couldn't even hold himself upright.

Meanwhile, Al walked around frantically, Fuery cowered behind his radio, Breda disappeared from the room muttering something about contaminated food, and Falman searched Roy's filing cabinet looking for something to help with their current situation. Seriously! Were all of his subordinates useless in these kind of situations?

Roy thrust the waste bin under Ed's face and took Havoc's place in holding Ed up. The boy was shaking terribly and there was no color whatsoever in his face. Ed's hands weakly tightened around the waste bin and his head lowered.

Roy felt so helpless. Ed was there vomiting, in no doubt complete agony, and he as powerless to do anything. He could see the tears building up in Ed's eyes and when they fell his heart broke again. The tears wouldn't stop coming. The vomiting only lasted a minute of so but the tears still remained.

Ed, despite being too weak to sit up without help, somehow managed to crawl into Roy's lap and bury his head in his shoulder. "I'm s-sorry," he whimpered.

"There's no need to be sorry." Roy stroked the back of Ed's head. "It's alright."

Ed pushed himself closer to Roy and shook his head repeatedly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shh," was all Roy said and he tried to calm the boy down. "It's alright."

Ed never said anything after than. He just sat silently on Roy's lap, his body shaking from the sobs that passed through it. The front of Roy's suit was clenched loosely in Ed's shaking hands and his head remained hidden in Roy's neck. Roy didn't know what to do. He turned to look at Hawkeye, who then cautiously approached Edward.

"Hey, Edward," she said softly. Her hand touched his flesh shoulder gently, causing Ed to flinch slightly. "Are you alright?"

Ed shook his head hesitantly. "F-feel sick," he whispered hoarsely

Hawkeye nodded sympathetically. "Edward, the Colonel has to do his work now."

Ed nodded. Hawkeye reached over and gently moved Ed from Roy's lap to hers. She took a seat on the couch and gently talked to him in a hushed voice. Ed nodding every so often. Roy took that time to make his way over to his seat, where a new stack of paper work was. Breda must have gotten it when he disappeared from the room. The bastard.

Roy sat down heavily and started to fill it out, but kept getting distracted by Ed. He was still sitting in Hawkeye's lap but now Havoc was there, directing a question to him. Ed nodding his head in response to it. Alphonse then clanked over and sat down on the floor in front of his brother. Ed smiled softly at Al before closing his eyes and leaning up against Hawkeye's chest. After that the office was quiet and everyone returned back to what they were doing. Everyone except Hawkeye, who sat there with Ed on her lap, looking just like a mother and child.

 _Maybe Ed needs someone like her in his life?_ Roy thought before turning back to his paperwork.

* * *

The rest of the day went by quickly. Ed slept most of the time, waking only if he had a nightmare or if he had to use the bathroom, in which case Al took him. When Roy was able to leave, Ed was at least conscious. He was sitting up on the couch, deep in thought. Since he was very weak Al was pretty much holding him upright. Roy couldn't believe just how pale Ed had gotten. There was no hint of color in his face anymore and he looked on the verge of passing out.

Roy walked over to Ed and snapped his fingers to get his attention. He made sure his ignition gloves were far away before doing so, though. He didn't want to accidentally burn Ed. At the sudden noise, Ed looked at Roy.

"We're going," Roy announced. He knelt down in front of Ed. "I'll carry you to the car if you want?"

Ed shook his head. "No, I can walk by myself," he decided. However, the idea was very quickly rejected when Ed tried to walk to the door but almost immediately fell to the ground in a small heap. Roy walked over and helped Ed sit up.

"I'll carry you," he told Ed. This time Ed nodded.

Right after Roy got Ed situated comfortably on his back, he made his way to the door. Al carried his stuff since Roy was busy enough carrying Ed. The boy was extremely tired and as Roy walked down the hall Ed's head fell against his shoulder and remained there.

* * *

Ed stared silently at the wall. It's been about a half hour since he got back to Roy's place and he hadn't seen neither Roy nor Al since. The last he saw was of them walking into the kitchen together and then that was it. Ed released a huff of breath and decided he had enough of not knowing. So that's when he decided to stand up and make his way to the kitchen. Bad idea. As he walked the entire world started spinning around him and he tipped sideways, slamming hard into a wall and sliding to the ground. He closed his eyes and shook his head trying to clear it, but when he opened his eyes again the blurriness was even worse.

 _Damn it. What the hell's going on?_ He thought. Stubbornness forced him to, once again, rise to his feet. He blinked away the dizziness and made his way forward. Peering into the kitchen, he saw Roy and Al talking to each other. Ed tried to make out what they were saying but couldn't grasp the words they were saying.

Roy then noticed him and walked over. "...Ed...?" Was the only word Ed was able to make out.

"Roy? What were..." Ed's words faded out and the rest were slurred and mumbled. The world spun around faster and faster and he found it more and more difficult to focus on one thing. He shook his head to clear it but it didn't work. Darkness clouded at the edges of his vision and he tried to blink it away but the darkness only crept closer. The last thing he remembered was falling forward into darkness, silence, and nothingness.

* * *

"...ward. Edward."

Someone was calling his name, but who...?

Someone shook his shoulder and he groaned slightly, shaking his head.

"I think he's coming around," someone else said.

Ed groaned again when the voice pierced through his soar head. He felt a hand brush against his forehead and a voice close to him.

"Edward, wake up. Ed." The voice told him to do something he sure as hell didn't want to do. Why would he want to get up? He was tired, very tired. The only thing he even wanted to do was sleep, but whoever was talking to him apparently wanted him to wake up. Risking everything, he cracked open one eye and was immediately blinded by a bright light that caused him to snap his eyes closed again and shake his head.

"Alphonse, turn off the light," the voice ordered.

Ed heard something clank out of the kitchen and figured it was his brother, Al. There was a moments pause before, "Ed, you can open your eyes again. The lights off."

Deciding to put his trust in the voice, Ed cracked open his eyes and found himself staring up at the roof. Roy appeared above him, worry apparent on his face. "What happened?" He asked as Ed tried to comprehend what was going on.

He was lying in what appeared to be the kitchen, on his back. He blinked once and shifted his gaze to find Alphonse standing off to the side of the room. A gentle snap sounded to his left and Ed turned his head to find Roy trying to get his attention. The older man pushed his hand against Ed's forehead and frowned.

"Your fever's worse," he announced. "Come on, let's get you back to the couch." Instead of letting Ed walk there on his own, Roy scooped Ed up into his arms. Ed, however, didn't mind. He rested his head against Roy's chest, his eyes closed, and his breathing soft and gentle. He could have fallen asleep right then and there but decided against it. It wasn't like he _didn't_ want to fall asleep, it was more along the lines of he _couldn't_. But he couldn't fall asleep, not because he wasn't tired, but because he had to say something to Roy. He had to find out what he and Al were talking about privately in the kitchen.

When Roy finally set him into he couch and made to leave, Ed grabbed hold of his sleeve weakly and wouldn't let go.

"Ed, what are you doing?" Roy asked, genuinely confused.

"D-don't," Ed ordered, his voice weak and scratchy against his throat. "W-what were you-"

A rough coughing fit over took him and prevented him from saying any more. As he coughed he grew light headed and tried to stop himself but that only added to his dizziness. Roy gently helped Ed sit up and once he was upright be hunched over, and covered his mouth. Something warm slid through his fingers and he knew exactly what it was.

Roy noticed before, however, an ordered Al to get Ed's medicine. The armor disappeared and returned a second later with a single needle. Roy took it and injected it into Ed's arm. The torturous coughing soon died down and his eyelids grew heavy. Roy pushed Ed back down so he was lying on the couch and smiled softly down at him.

"Get some sleep," he said gently, pulling the blanket up to his chest.

Ed wanted to argue, protest that he didn't want to sleep, but his eyelids were growing heavier, sliding down. Before he knew it he was curled up on the couch, fast asleep.

* * *

Roy carefully wiped away the blood on Ed's face and hands, sighing as he did so. He knew that something must have stressed Ed out enough for him to cough up blood, and the fact that he just passed out in the kitchen didn't help much either. On his last visit to the doctor, he was given a special prescription for Ed for situations such as the one just few minutes ago. The doctor said that the next time Ed's stress got too high that he was to inject him with the medication that would knock him out for a good hour. Roy had been reluctant to do so but he hated to see Ed that stressed even more than knowing he knocked him out. He sighed again and wet a cloth before placing it on Ed's forehead.

The boy's fever had gotten worse much worse. Roy wished that he could give Ed something to bring it down but he was lucky that he even got that special medicine for Ed. He wasn't suppose to take anything else or it could effect the one he was already taking. Fortunately it wasn't going to do any great harm. Although, nausea was a common side effect after someone woke up.

Roy had made sure to grab a bucket in case Ed threw up when he awoke. Roy happened to glance at Ed's pale, very pale, face and felt a small piece of him break. He pushed it away and stroked Ed's hair softly.

"You'll get better soon," he said softly. "Don't give up. I know you're strong so prove it. I believe in you, Ed."

* * *

 **A/N...Well, there's chapter 10. I meant to post this chapter a few days ago but my reviews weren't showing up so I decided to wait until they were back. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading. Thanks to The cooter, BigChillFreak, AnuhdahPerson, Attackoneverything, AnimeFreakShips, and Akarri for reviewing last chapter. I love hearing your feedback. This is the most reviews I've ever gotten on a single story before. Well, I'll try to update soon. Any feedback will be much appreciated.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 11_**

Ed awoke much later to soft whispers and muffled footsteps. He wondered briefly who could be making the noise but decided not to worry about it and focus on falling back asleep. However, the constant noise was making it hard to do anything. Giving up on his long needed sleep, he cracked open his eyes.

He was no longer in the living room but back in the Roy's room. The door was closed and the voices appeared to be coming from the opposite side. Soft rays of light streamed through the open window and added some light to the otherwise dark room. Ed tried to get out of bed but his arms couldn't support his weight and he ultimately fell back into the mattress with a soft thump.

 _Damn it_ , Ed thought bitterly. _I can't even sit up by myself. Am I really that weak and pathetic? No, that can't be. I'm not weak._ But even as he thought that, the voice in the back of his head told him just how useless he was. Over and over again. The same words repeatedly echoing in his mind

His head hit the pillow and he took up glaring at the ceiling. Suddenly there was a creaking by the door and more light flooded the dimly lit room. Ed turned and found Roy peering over at him.

"Good morning, Ed," he greeted softly. He walked into the room and stopped by Ed's bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess," Ed muttered. "I dunno."

Roy nodded and smiled down at Ed. The boy, however, only frowned.

"What're you so happy about?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing," Roy lied quickly. "Are you well enough to get out of bed? I have a surprise for you in the living room."

Ed gave Roy a confused look. He only shrugged and rolled over so he was facing away from Roy. "Roy...?"

"What is it, Ed?"

"I was just." Ed tried to think of what to say. "I was wondering..." He shook his head. "What were...you and Al talking about last night?" There. He finally said it. The thing that caused him to cough up blood last night. The single most fear he had stored in his body was finally revealed. However, that didn't mean all of his stress was gone. He was still painfully waiting for the reply that felt as if it would never come. As he waited, his heart pounded in his head and his breathing quickened.

And finally:

"Is that what was worrying you last night?"

Ed nodded. He still worried about what Roy was going to say and the fact that the answer was stretching on for all eternity didn't help either. He couldn't help but feel a bit panicked. _I shouldn't have said anything. I don't want to know anymore._

"So you don't remember?" Roy asked. His voice was significantly softer now than a minute ago. He sighed and sat down on the edge of Ed's bed. "We knew how much you're going through so we wanted to make today special. It is your birthday after all."

"My-my what?" Ed asked, surprised. _It's my birthday? Since when?_ The truth was, he'd lost all track of time since he got sick so it wasn't a surprise. Besides, the last time he celebrated his birthday was when he turned twelve. That was the day Elicia was born and he celebrated it with the Hughes', Al, and Nina.

 _Nina..._ Ed sudden shook his head and snapped his eyes close. He hated remembering but it was impossible to forget. The sight of the young girl's remains splattered across the walls of the alley. It was too painful to think about. He buried his head in the pillow as he remembered seeing the malformed chimera staring at him, the young girl playing in the yard, laughing. He still had the picture she drew for him when he finished the state Alchemists exam. He would never be able to forget the huge smile on her face when he transmuted the flower crown for her or the days when they played in the yard. And then it was over. Everything. He cried that day, seeing the remains. It was the first time he had cried since becoming a State Alchemist.

"Edward?" Roy asked cautiously. "Is something wrong?"

"N-no." Ed pushed himself up and leaned against the back board of the bed. "Everything's fine."

It was apparent that he was lying, but Roy didn't mention it. Instead, he put a soft smile on his face and stood up. "Well, how about we go to the living room? There's someone there who wants to see you."

Ed only stared at him before trying to get out of bed. The key word: _tried_. He ultimately failed and fell on his face. Roy knelt down and helped him sit up.

"How about I carry you?" He offered. "I doubt you'll make it safely down the stairs."

Ed nodded his head and was lifted off the ground to be help in Roy's arms. He didnt''really care that Roy carried him anymore. It made him feel...wanted. It was if Roy was filling in the empty gap reserved for the father he never had.

When the two got downstairs Edward found several people sitting around talking. Hawkeye, Havoc, Hughes, Gracia, and Alphonse. Roy walked forward and set Ed down on the empty spot on the couch right between Gracia and Hawkeye.

"Good morning, Ed," Hawkeye greeted.

"Happy birthday," Gracia said.

Ed nodded his head and mumbled a quick, "Thanks." He yawned, still tired. It was like he was always tired nowadays even though he slept for the vast majority of the day. He unintentionally tipped over to the side and collided with Gracia. Luckily she didn't seemed bother by it and instead just smiled.

"Are you tired?" She asked in a motherly voice.

Another yawn forced its way out of Ed. So the answer was 'yes. He was very tired.'

"Hey, Edo."

A bright, colorful, package as thrust in front of Ed, starling the boy. He started at it uncertainty before a voice broke into his thoughts.

"Take it. It's for you." It was Hughes. No surprise there. With Gracia's help Ed managed to get himself into a sitting position. However, someone had to hold him upright the entire time he sat there or he would have fallen over. He, for some reason, wasn't bothered by it. Ed hated being weak, but he didn't mind being helped. It was odd, really, that the one thing he told himself he'd never do was happening now.

He took the package in his hands and held it. The last time he got something like this was when he lived in Resembool. It's been a while.

"Well, go on. Open it," Hughes urged.

Ed glanced at him before looking down at the package and carefully tearing apart the colorful paper. Inside was a leather bound book. There was a transmutation circle on the front cover and above it, in bold letters said: _Alchemy_. Ed smiled and thanked Hughes and Gracia.

Havoc decided to butt in and pretty much threw another package at Ed. The boy caught it, barely. "Hurry up and open it," the smoker urged. He was talking faster than he usually did. This package was in a simple brown paper bag, unlike the Hughes'.

Ed cautiously opened the bag. One could never be too cautious when it came to Havoc. Inside were three glass vials. Ed took one out and examined it. Inside the first was a fine blank powder. The second held a fine white powered substance. It looked somewhat like salt. And in the third there was a yellow powder. Ed looked at Havoc a little nervously.

"Uh, Havoc?"

"Yes," he replied cheerfully.

Ed glanced down the the vials in his hand and then up at Havoc again. "You gave me Potassium Nitrate, Sulfur, and Charcoal."

"Yes."

"And do you know that, when transmuted together, created a highly explosive substance?"

"Nope."

Ed face palmed. Oh course. It was just like Havoc to unintentionally give a fourteen year old the ingredients to make black powder. It wasn't like Ed hadn't ever made an explosive before. After his mother died, he stumbled upon the chemical formula for black powder in his father's study, but it wasn't until he was at his teacher's that he actually transmuted it. But he didn't just transmute it. He stuffed a copper pipe with the stuff and sealed off both ends except for a small hole in one of them. Then he went to a field to test it out. He had attached a string to one of the ends that went into the pipe with a good ten inches long. He made the wrong choice to light the end on fire with a match. The end result wasn't what he expected. The moment the flames got to the opening the pipe exploded and came flying at Ed. It hit him hard in the head and he was apparently instantly knocked out. He woke up the next day in his teachers house with a concussion and a few burns. That was the last time he played with explosives.

After Roy was finished scolding Havoc for giving Ed such a dangerous gift, Hawkeye handed him another parcel. "Here you go. It's not as explosive as Havoc's." She glanced at Havoc, who sat cross legged on the floor, not at all fazed by Roy's intense scolding.

Ed took it in his hands. For some reason he felt guilty accepting all of these gifts, even if one of them could get him killed. Hawkeye must have noticed his hesitation and tapped his shoulder. "It's for you. Go on, open it."

Ed listened to what she said and opened the package. Inside was another leather bound book, except this one was written in some foreign language.

"It's from Xing," Hawkeye explained. "It's about Alkahestry, the Alchemy from Xing. I thought it might interest you."

Ed smiled. "Thank you, Hawkeye."

"Your welcome."

Ed flipped through the pages of the book. He itched to read it but since it was written in Xinese he's have to translate it first. Well, it wasn't the first time he translated a book before. Since he knew a few things about the Xinese language it would be easier than the Creta book he was still working on.

"Brother."

Ed looked up to find Al staring at him, a hand drawn card in his large leather hand. He walked forward and handed the card to Ed.

"Happy birthday, brother," he said cheerfully.

Ed took the card and stared at it. The front read, in colorful letters: _Happy 14_ _th_ _Birthday big brother._ Ed opened the card and was surprised when a photograph fall onto his lap. Ed picked it up and stared at the picture. His eyes widened. The picture was of him, Al, and their mother. They were all smiling, sitting in front of their house. Ed felt tears well up in his eyes as he stared at the photo. _Mom_ he thought. _We were all so happy. Why can't it still be like that? Why can't' we all be happy and live as a family?_ Ed rubbed his eyes when the first tear fell.

"Th-thank you, Al," Ed thanked. "It-It's perfect."

Ed turned his attention to the photograph in his hands and held back the tears this time.

* * *

The rest of the morning went by slowly. Roy had almost forgotten to give Ed his medicine if it weren't for Al reminding him. Now that everyone had gone home, Ed was asleep on the couch. But there was one thing that Roy couldn't help but notice. Ed was still clutching the photograph Al had given him. Now that he thought about it, Ed hadn't put the picture down since it fell into his lap.

Roy walked over to Ed and pulled the blanket up to his neck. The boy was most likely very tired so he'd probably be sleeping for a while.

A ringing interrupted his thoughts. He mentally cursed his phone for making such a racket and hurried into the other room to answer it.

"Hello, Mustang residence," Roy said after picking up the phone.

 _Hello, is this Roy Mustang?_

"I'm Roy," Roy replied.

 _I'm Doctor Colbert, Edward Elric's doctor. I have some new information about Edward's condition and I'll like to tell you as soon as I can. If you could come down to the hospital as soon as possible with Edward It'll be much appreciated._

"What information?" Roy asked.

 _He might be worse off than we thought._

Roy's eyes widened. "I'll be there right away." He slammed the phone down onto the receiver without waiting for a reply and headed off to get Ed. On his short trip to the living room he couldn't keep the fear from swelling within him. What if Edward was dying? No. He couldn't think that. Edward wasn't dying. He was going to live. The doctor was wrong. Nothing's wrong with Edward. But even as he desperately tried to reassure himself, he couldn't help but feel an ominous shadow settle over him.

* * *

 **A/N...So there's chapter 11. Sorry I didn't update sooner. Thanks to AKAnime, Cather Elric, BigChillFreak, AnimeFreakShips, Attackoneverything, 1animegal, and for reviewing last chapter. Did any of you guys remember Nina when reading this? I based many things in this story off of the 2003 anime series so the only difference is Nina died when Ed was twelve, since he had yet to get his state license. Anyway, the ingredients Havoc gave Ed are the real ingredients used in black powder (which is more explosive than gunpowder). So, don't do what Ed did and you'll be safe. Well, stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 12_**

Roy sat impatiently in the waiting room of the hospital. He rushed over as soon as he got the call and had arrived in record time. Although, he did speed a little. He was just glad he wasn't caught. Ed was currently sleeping on his lap, his head tucked onto Roy's neck. Roy realized then just how cold Ed was.

"Roy Mustang," a voice said to him. "I'm glad you got here so soon."

Rooy looked up and found Dr. Colbert standing about a foot away.

Roy rose to his feet, earning a moan from Ed as he was moved without warning him first. The doctor seemed alerted by the pathetic sound and quickly ushered Roy into his office. He told Roy to put Ed down in a chair, which he did. Ed didn't seem to like it becuase he refused to let go of Roy's arm.

"Ed, you have to let go," Roy urged.

"N-no!" Ed shouted. "H-he's g-gonna hurt me." He truly sounded terrified.

"He's not going to hurt you," Roy softly reassurred.

"You-you p-promise?" Ed asked.

"I promise."

Ed let go of Roy's hand, a bit reluctantly, and leaned back in the chair. The doctor walked towards Roy and said in a hushed voice, "I think we should discuss this else where. I don't want Ed overhearing. I'll get a nurse to watch him."

Roy nodded and waited for Dr. Colbert to fetch a nurse. When he came back, he was accompanyed by a young nurse, who, after much coaxing, managed to take Ed out of the room. The doctor turned back to Roy.

"I got the results back from the blood test," he began. "It apears that the medication is no longer working. I would up the dose but if I do it'll be sure to have negative effects on his body."

"Are you saying Ed's going to die?" Roy had to get that out of his system. It was worrying him sick.

"No. I'm just saying that he's going to experience much worse effects of the illness than before. I doubt that he'll be able to stand on his own." The doctor grabbed a sheet of paper from the clip board he was holding and handed it to Roy. "This is a list of most of the things Ed will be unable to do himself. You'll have to help him. He'll require constant supervision in case anything happens."

Roy looked down at the paper and saw a list quickly written with pen. He noticed that the list was long. He'd really have to help Ed now. Alphonse would have to help as well. "Alright. Thanks. I'll be sure to follow this."

"That's great." the doctor glanced at his clip board again and then back up at Roy. "I'm also going to take him off his medication. He may experience withdrawal but I'm guessing he's been different for the past few days. Since the medicine hasn't been working at all he may have been feeling a little different. I want you to give him half the dosage of medicine you usually give him for one week and then half of that the following week. After that he doesn't have to take it anymore."

Roy nodded. "Ed will be happy to hear that."

"Well, that's about it. You may leave. I'll grab Ed for you." The doctor left the room and Roy followed him. He found the nurse sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting room, a sleeping Ed curled up next to her, his head on her shoulder and his hand loosely gripping the sleeve of her shirt. Roy walked over and shook Ed gently on the shoulder.

"Hey, Ed," he whispered.

"Mmm," Ed moaned.

"Wake up. We're leaving."

At that, Ed opened one eye and allowed Roy to lift him up. He fell asleep within seconds after his head hit Roy's shoulder. Waving 'bye' to the boctor, Roy left the hospital with Ed hend gently in his arms.

 _Please get better soon, Ed. I know you can._

* * *

Warmth. That was the first thing Ed's sick, tired, pounding head could make out. It took a while, but soon he was able – if only partly – to make out his surroundings. He was surrounded by something soft. Not too specific, but at least he was getting there. There was a hand on his head, but he had yet to figure out who to belonged to.

He wished that he could focus solely on his surroundings, but there was something distracting him from that task. His head. It pounded with the force of a hundred horses. It tore through his skull. It was enough to make him whimper slightly. He made to hold his hend but a harmony of hushed voics and a soft pressure on his hand prevented him from doing anything.

"Waking...up."

That was the only thing Ed was able to make out – even though he didn't fully understand what it meant. A small groan escaped him. It was the only that he could express his extreme discomfort. The voices rose a bit before they stopped suddenly. Then he was being moved, turned over. His head, in what he believed to be a pillow, flopped to the side as he was rolled onto his back. Afer that, much to his disapproval, something cold landed on his forehead, covering his eyes, and blocking out the very little light that managed to break past his eyelids. He tried to shake off but a hand held his head steady.

"It's alright. Don't worry."

The voice was kind, soft, and full of warmth. He was comforted by the gently air in the voice. It made him smile and was the reason he leaned into the touch of the hand. It was warm – unlike the cloth – and have him some reminder that the world wasn't just black and white, it wasn't just cold. The word was full of color. And, more importantly, it was warm. Even the darkest of shadows couldn't be there without light. And without light there wouldn't be color. The world was an endless cycle, death brings new life; light brings both the darkest shadows and the brightest colors.

The voices grew softer until finally, "Edward?"

Ed opened his mouth to reply but a ragged cough took over, making it near impossible to say anything. When the torturous coughing finally died down, Ed was left panting and exhausted.

"Easy now. You don't half to cough up your lungs," an amused voice said to him. A hand bushed the bangs away that had fallen in front of his face. Another hand joined the first and the blanket was pulled up to his neck. "Try to get some rest. It's the best thing for you now."

That, Ed agreed to. He wanted to sleep, lie down and do nothing. He felt the tendrils of sleep wrapping around him, firmly trapping him in its warm, heavy, comfortimg embrace. He sank into it, feeling like nothing could go wrong. That everything was going to be perfect.

Boy was he wrong.

* * *

The next morning, Ed awoke with a jolt, drenched in sweat, tears rolling down his face. His eyes, wide and full of fear, stared wide at the roof. His breathing was erratic and he couldn't remember where he was.

Why was it happening so often now? Sure, he frequently had nightmaes, but never have they been this frequent and as vivid as the ones he'd been having the past few days. They were so real. He could feel the pain coarsing through his body, the fear enveloing him. He choked back a sob and did the only thing he could think of. He buried his head in the pillow. Maneuvering his way to the pillow proved somewhat difficult, but after he was there, he did nothing but cry to himself. His cry wasn't loud, but it sure as hell was there. He cried without end, his sobs shaking. He cried until he felt sick.

He was too busy crying to realize the soft footsteps proceeding into the room or the gently hand on his shoulder.

"Edward."

The voice. It sounded so real. It yanked him forcefully away fom the terrifying thoughts and images that shot through his head and threw him agaist the cold, hard ground of reality. He pried his face from the pillow, both now wet with tears, and stared up into the soft, dark eyes of the one person he could ask for help at that moment.

Despite being weak, he launched himself at the man, holding tightly with his weak, trembling hands. He held on as if his life depended on his. He held on for comfort. That's all he's truly wanted for as long as he could remember. He wanted a dad. Sure, he had a father, but he was a bastard. All he wanted was a dad, and without realizing it, a dad has been closer than he's thought. Since becoming a State Alchemist, since that day so manny years ago. He never truly realized it until now, but maybe he's had a dad without realizing it? And maybe, just maybe, he'd been closer to his dad than he thought.

Roy wrapped his arms around Ed and pulled hismelf onto the mattress. Ed crawled onto his superiors' lap and buried his face in his shirt. His body shaking, his grip weak, his emotions torn, he whispered something neither thought ever possible. The word he had thought he'd burned away with his house. A word he never imagined, in a hundred years, ever saying, even whispering.

"D-dad. I-I'm s-scared," he whimpered. He sounded weak, sure, but he didn't care. He was scared. Shaken to the core by a nightmare, dark, menacing, and frightening. Too malevolent to be real. Too much pain, fear. It had happened again, this time to another. This time worse than before. This time, in the same spot, but the ground, red. There was no wood, stone, nor steel. Everything was stained a glistening, dancing crimson. An impossible obstacle.

His entire body trembled in the hands of his superior officer. No; in the hands of his dad. He was scared, frightened. It was too much to put into words. He wanted nothing more than to erase his memories, start anew, but at the same time he didn't. He, despite everythign he's gone through, wouldn't change it in a second. Now that he thought about it, if it weren't for his taboo, he'd be living a boring life in Resembool. But beause of his mistake, he was granted the privilege to explore the world, pursue his calling, study Alchemy like none other. So what. He didn't care. His mistake gave him something to work towards and not waste his entire life in the lonely countryside.

"It's alright," Roy whispered softly. Everything's alright. It's okay. You're okay."

Ed nodded hesitantly and pulled his head away from Roy. He looked up at Roy's face, smiled, and shut his eyes. Roy ruffled his hair the same way a father would a son, and pulled him close, hugging him. Ed, who was feeling exhausted, allowed himself to fall back asleep. Hopefully this time, a place without haunting nightmared But before he did, he whispered out something, in a small soft voice, "I love you, dad." And then, fulfilled, happy, and no longer scared and depressed, he allowed himself to sink into the warmth of Roy's hands, head tucked into his chest, and breathing soft and slow. The last thing he hear before surrendering to the force called sleep was a voice saying;

"I love you too, Ed."

And then the dark enveloped him completely, sending him to a place of warm shadows.

* * *

Ed woke much later, luckily nightmare free, in the guest room in Roy's house. The sun was spilling in through the window, hitting his face. He blinked away the temporary blindness and turned his attention to the slightly ajar doorway. Deciding to give it a try, he rose out of the bed. His feet made contact with the hardwood floor and a shiver passed through him. The floor was cold. He released a breath and pushed hismelf up into a shaky stance. He was surprised by how weak he was. He could barely even stay upright. The world tilted sideways and he was forced to grab onto the wall to balance hismelf.

Cautiously, he made his way to the door, barley able to suport his weight. His legs shook like mad, he nearly fell many times, and by the time he made it to the door he felt light headed and could barely think straight.

He blinked a few times before pulling the door open, and, as he stumbled into the hall, he collided with something that caused him to lose his already poor balance and fall to the ground in a crumpled heap. His head wacked against the wall and his vision grew fuzzy.

"Brother?" The familiar, metallic, echoing voice of his younger brother sounded. Despite being no more than a foot away from him, his voice sounded...strange. It was as if he was underwater or something. "Hey, brother?"

Ed groaned and rubbed his, now sore, head. He heard a shuffle of footsteps and then: "Roy, I think brother's hurt!"

There was a flurry of footsteps and within seconds Roy was kneeling by Ed's side, rolling him gently onto his back.

"Ed. Edward."

"'M fine," Ed moaned. He made to sit up, and he did. Except, if it weren't for Roy supporting his weight the entire time, he would have fallen back down and remained on the floor. "Jus' fell."

"What were you even doing out of bed?" Roy demanded. There ws a soft edge in his voice but his tone was still serious. Frankly, it scared Ed.

"I didn't know where you were," he admitted, his voice a whisper. He leaned heavily against Roy, his head resting on his shoulder. "I don't like bein' alone..."

Roy sighed softly and tapped Ed gently on his shoulder to get his attention. "You have to go back to bed. You need to rest."

"I'm not-"

But Roy had already picked Ed up and was walking into his room. Ed was set back down in the middle of the comfotrable bed, but he refused to let go of Roy's hand. His grip was weak, but that was probably because he was feeling sick. Very sick, if he were to be exact.

"D-don't go," he pleaded desperately.

Roy gently pried Ed's fingers off his arm and pushed the boy's weakened hand gently into the mattress. "I'll be back in a second. I have to get your medicine. And I'm gessing you're hungry. Al will be here."

Roy beckoned to the suit of armor standing silently by the door. At the motion, Al walked into the room and took a seat on the floor beside Ed's bed. "Hello, brother."

Ed just nodded and watched sadly as Roy walked out of the room. After that, he was plunged into despair. It wasn't like he didn't enjoy his brother's company, it was just...there was something about Roy that made him feel so at ease. With Al, he felt as if he should be brave because he was the older one. But with Roy he didn't feel the pressure, the burden he carried when with Al. He could be carefree. He could reveal everything without feeling like he was admitting his weakness. He wished he could feel that way with Al, but he knew, no matter how hard he tried, he'd never be able to worry Al, scare him, stress him out as much as he himself was. He couldn't let his younger brother carry the weight of them on his shoulders. Ed was the older one, so he had to act like the older one, no matter how hard, how stressful, no matter how much pain he had to bear through.

It was like that now. He was bottling up alll his pain, guilt, weakness, and pushing it deep down inside him as to not worry his younger brother. It hurt when he did it, but it hurt more to see his brother worry. So he best thing he could do was put on a fake smile and hope Al wouldn't notice the clear signs to his true, hidden feelings.

It was hard, it truly was, but it was all he could do. He averted his eyes from the world, focused intensly on the textured roof, and tried to forget everything. The task was difficult, for every time he desperately tried to forget, the images that passed through his mind became more and more vivid, obstructing his thought process, threatning to break down his well crafted wall to hide his emotions. If it broke, everything he had worked on would go down the drain. He'd reveal his feelings to Al and it would be ruined. He couldn't. No matter what, he just couldn't. He won't! He's not!

And then, just as everything seemed hoeless, Roy returned, a needle in his hands. He looked at Al, motioned to the door, and the armor rose to his feet and exited the room. Roy took that as a time to sit in the well placed chair beside Ed's bed.

"Are you alright? You look rather pale." Roy looked closely at him.

Ed just nodded his head and held out his arm. "J-just do it." Damn it! Why did he hesitate? He was hiding it so well. A crack appeared in the wall, growing larger with every passing second, every stare, every word he, or anyone else said. Why? Why? Why?

It came and went quickly. The nerve wracking prick he's gotten so use to, and then the burning sensation tht spread through his arm. It faded quickly and by then Roy had already pulled Ed's shirt sleeve down and had placed a hand on his forehead.

"Your fever's back," he said, concerned. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," Ed said. It was becoming harder and harder He couldn't keep it in! It was leaking. His wall was damaged. It was only a matter of time before t broke completely and all of his concealed emotions would leak out. His stress level was rising, higher and higher; faster and faster. He couldn't breathe! It felt like his chest was caving in, suffoating him, crushing out every breath.

Roy took action and lifted Ed into a sitting position and, while holding him upright, pulled him into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around Ed's frail, trembling body.

"It's alright. Relax. Everything's fine. Just Relax."

Slowly, after what felt like hours, he slowly began to calm down, but not after he had broken out in tears. Tears that raced down his face, blinding his panicked eyes, dripping onto Roy's shirt. He clung to Roy tightly, his hands trembling, holding on as tightly as he could manage. He was dizzy, he felt like he was going to pass out, but he clung on, his head tucked into Roy's neck.

When he had settled down to the point he could breathe again, Roy set him back down onto the bed and took a seat beside him. Ed refused to let go and wrapped his arms around Roy's midsetion and curled into a small ball, pressing himself against Roy's side.

"Edward, do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Roy asked gently.

Ed gave his head a small nod. "Al...I don't...I don't want to...to worry him..." Ed chocked out between the sobs that shook his body all the way down to his core. "It...It's hard...I can't...I...He...I want him to go back to Resembool."

There. He said it. That was the one thing that's been worrying him since Al came Central. He didn't want to worry Al, and he could tell that Al was already worried. Ed wanted his brother, but he wanted to save him from the stress he was no doubt putting him through. It was for his own good. That was what Ed repeatedly told himself so the thought didn't seem terrible.

Roy, surpisingly, nodded his head, which Ed was easily able to feel. "Would you feel better if he was in Resembool?"

Ed nodded.

"Alright." Roy pried Ed away from him. "I'll go talk to him. Hopefully he can see reason." Before he left, he tucked the blanket around Ed and smiled softly. Ed watched as Roy left the room, shutting the door behind with a soft click.

Ed was left, lying in bed, face streaked wth tears. He pulled the blanket close to him and rolled to his side, taking up staring at the wall. He stared until his eyelids felt heavy, began to droop, slid closed, and then...nothing. No sound, no pain, no warmth. Just an endless expanse of darkness, light never once piercing through.

* * *

 **A/N...Alright, there's chapter twelve. I was planning to post this yesterday, but my word document was doing _something_ odd. It thought every word was misspelled and underlined every single damn word in a squiggly red line. It won't go away and I had to turn off my spellcheck. I rely a lot on my spellcheck when proofreading, but I had to make sure everything was spelled correctly before I posted. If you noticed any spelling mistakes, could you please let me know in a review or a PM so I can go and fix it. If any of you know hoe to fix the squiggly red line and make it underline only misspelled words, could you PM me and tell me how to fix it (I use Apahe OpenOffice version 4.1.1) thanks.**

 **Anyway, a big thanks to: , AnimeFreakShips, cheeseries, Akarri, BigChillFreak, Attackoneverything, Cather Elric, and Transforming Turtle for reviewing last Chapter. It means so much to me that you guys take time and review on my story. I look at the all the time when writing for motivation. Thanks. Well, I'll try and update soon. 'Till then!**


	13. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 **Chapter 13**

It was Monday. And Monday was torture, because Monday meant work. And work was torture. Roy was ready to head out the door, but the only thing he needed was Ed. How could he forget?

Last night Alphonse had agreed to leaving, saying that it was for Ed's own good. Roy was planning on telling Ed when he woke up in he morning, but now it looked like he wasn't going to be telling Ed anything any time soon.

When he walked over to Ed's bed, he saw jut how sick the boy looked. His face, pale as a ghost, donning not the slightest trace of color, made him look...dead. But he was still breathing. Roy reached out a hand to awaken Ed, but pulled back before he shook his shoulder. He had a feeling tht if Ed woke up he was going to ge sick. So instead, Roy gathered Ed carefully in his arms and walked down the stairs, but not before Ed was wrapped in a blanket. The boy was so cold. He was shivering.

Roy, having made it to his car, gently placed Ed in the passengers seat, did up the seatbelt, and shut the door with a satisfying click. After that, he got in his own seat, started the car, and was off, driving down the street.

The first thing, and possibly the worse thing, he felt when he woke up was the churning stomach. He rolloed over and groaned in an attempt to voice his distress. No rescue came so he cracked open his eyes to find hismelf in an unfamiliar place. He shifted his gaze so it passed around the room before finally landing on a sturdy oak desk, and sitting behind it-

"Roy," Ed croaked. His throat was dry and speaking proved difficult.

Said man looked up from his paperwork to gaze at Ed. Upon noticing that he was awake, Roy got out of his seat and walked over to Ed, his heels clicking against the ground. "Hey, Ed." he spoke softly. "How are you feeling."

It took a few minutes for Ed's, foggy, sick, tired mind to fully comphrehend what was being asked of him. Finally, after realization hit him, he shook his head. "Sick..."

Roy gave him nothing more than a sympathatic nod. However, there was something, something he was hiding. Was that saddness in his eyes? Or was it fear? Or perhaps the perplexing emotions were a mixture of the two, possible even more than he could see.

However, his ceaseless efforts ended in vain. He was left thinking aimlessly until he forgot what he was even thinking about. He saw Roy staring at him and he stared back, not knowing what else to do. He felt terrible and he figured he was far worse off than he originally thought. But it didn't make sense, he felt just fine before he fell asleep however long ago it was, but now he couldn't even think without giving himself a headache. What ever the reason, he didn't like it. He hated feeling like this. Feeling this...weak.

"Do you need anything?" Roy asked softly.

"W-water," Ed mumbled. He could really do for a glass of cold water. His throat was as dry as the sun beat sands of Xing.

"Alright. Just hold tight for a minute." He looked over his shoulder. "Lieutenant, can you get Ed a glass of water?"

"Yes, sir."

Roy turned back to facing Ed and gave him a calming smile. "Anything else?"

Ed shook his head and reached out a shaky, weak, hand to grab onto Roy's. The Colonel was surprised for a minute, but soon regained hismelf and took Ed's hand in his own. He smiled widely. "You alright?"

Ed gave half a nod and half a shake, unable to decided which he was. He felt sick, really sick, he'd never felt this bad before. However, at the same time, he was still alive. So he was kinda both. The tap of footsteps alerted him and he caught a glimpse of Hawkeye handing Roy a glass of water.

"Can you sit up?" Roy asked.

Ed gave a hesitant shake of his head. He hated doing what he just did but he had no other choice. He highly doubted that he was going to be able to sit up if he was barely able to remain conscious. Roy nodded his head and set the glass of water on the table before turning to Ed. The frail, weak boy felt an arm behind his back as Roy slowly and carefully helped him into a sitting position. With one hand remaining on his back to support his weight, Roy grabbed the glass of water.

Ed stared tiredly at the glass as Roy pressed it against his slightly parted lips and poured the cold contents of the glass into his dry mouth. The water was so cold and it slid down his throat. He took one more sip before shaking his head. Roy understood what Ed meant and set the glass down before lowering him back onto the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chest.

"There. All better now." He smiled.

Ed couldn't find it in himself to smile. He instead frowned slightly and furrowed his brow. Roy, noticing Ed's saddened expression, reached out a hand and gently ran it across Ed's forehead.

"Everything's going to be okay. Alright?" He gave Ed a long, sympathetic, look. "You don't have to worry anymore."

Ed nodded his head, not fully aware of what Roy was talking about. Instead, he allowed his eyes to slide closed and within seconds he heard Roy leaving his side, heading back to his desk. A few minutes after that, Ed re-opened his eyes and found that the entire office was no longer staring at him. They were all absorbed in their work, paying no heed to the boy lying on the couch.

Ed's head sank further into the pillow. However, his eyes remained open, transfixed on the far wall. He was tired, yes, but he didn't want to sleep. He's slept too much lately and he was wasting his life. He couldn't just sit around all day. Maybe now that Al was back in Resembool he'd be able to focus more. He remembered the books he recieved late last night. He had woken up from another nightmare, and that was when Roy gave him the book, saying he was so busy he forgot to give it to Ed earlier.

It was an Alchemy book, one that he's never set eyes on. It was a thick, leather bound book. It ws scratched up, tattered, torn, and dusty, giving it the feeling that it was old. Very old to be more exact. Most of it was written in English, but some of it was written in some ancient language that neiter Roy nor Ed could regognize. Then again, Ed never finished shool and Roy sucked in history so it was possible that the language was common but they didn't know about it.

So maybe there was something in their about how he could restore Al's body without the use of the Philosopher's Stone. Maybe? But for now, he had more important business to take care of. He glanced tiredly around the room again before his eyes landed on Roy, who was too absorbed in his paperwork to notice the young boy staring intently at him. Giving up, Ed returned to staring at the wall. His eyelids were growing heavier and he found it increasingly difficult to do so much as keep them open. It was like there were weights on his eyelids that were pulling them down. He tried to fight the heavy force that pulled them down, but failed miserable when they finally, after his fruitless attempts, slid closed, never once giving him a fair battle.

He willed himself to remain conscious, despite the fact that sleep was tugging roughly at him, pulling him towards its darkness. He clung on, weakly, but he clung on. His stubborness to blame. He was tired, don't get him wrong. It was just, he felt like he'd be missing so much if he slept. And frankly, no matter how much he hated to admit it, he was actually too scared to sleep. He feared that he'd be visited by another nightmare, for they've been happening more frequently and each has been more vivid than the last. He was truly terrified.

But that was not the last of his worries. He still worried about Al, despite knowing that he was in Rsembool. He knew Al was still worried about him, and that he couldn't stop thinking about Ed. Edward couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, forget about his brother, living in an empty shell of a body, fearing for his older brother's well being and most importantly, his life.

He tried to hide himself under the blanket that had been placed overtop of him, but moving seemed like an impossible task. And to be honest, he never really tried to move. He was comfortable where he was and didn't want to ruin the peace he was in. Well, peaceful position; not peaceful mind.

His mind, to be put acurrately, was the equivalent to that of a storm. A raging storm. Thunder banging, lightning striking, rain pounding. It was a stormy sea. His thoughts were like the waves that crashed endlessly on the shore, that was tossed relentlessly in the ocean. His consciousness was like a ship being swallowed by the waves. He was being torn apart, not physcially, but mentally. Mental, painless daggers, slicing through him, scaring him. The scars wrere there, it was just hard to see them until one willingly shared them.

"Ed! Ed!"

Ed blinked. Roy was staring closely at him, worry evident in his eyes. Havoc stood a short distance behind and Hawkeye was at the smokers side. Everyone in the office was staring at him, eyes, for some reason, soft and sympathetic. Roy was closest and he reached out a hand, which landed soundlessly on Ed's shoulder.

It was then, when the entire office was stairing at him, did he realize he was crying. Soundlessly, but he was crying. Now that he knew. He could easily feel the hot tears that rolled down his cheeks. He quickly tried to wipe them away before proceeding to hide his head in the pillow. Why was he crying? There wasn't any reason for him to be crying. So why was he?

"Ed?"

"Chief?"

"Edward?"

Ed couldn't focus on one voice. So many different tones, pitches, volumes, mixing together, creating an impossible to decipher code. He couldn't even think straight. The only thing he could do was – and it was quite pathetic – cover his ears with shaky hands. Roy noticed this and signalled for his subordinates to leave as he moved in closer to Ed, staring at him closely. Slowly, he pulled Ed's hands from his ears.

"It's alright," he whispered.

Ed nodded before his head fell heavly against the pillow. He was tired, very tired, and he could barley stay awake. Roy, however, remained by his side after his eyes had fallen shut, unlike how he left the last time. He talked to Ed, his words soft and hushed, as Ed slowly began to drift off. Roy held Ed's hand in his own, the heat from the older man's hand traveling to Ed's cold hand. It was nice, comforting. He really liked lying there, listening to Roy's voice as he was lulled to sleep, quickly. And even then, Roy never, not even once, left Ed's side.

* * *

He was being moved. That was the only thing that dawned on him as he slowly regained consciousness. From what it felt like, he was on someone's back, and they were walking. His head was tucked into their shoulder and a blanket was wrapped around him. He tried to open his eyes, he really tried, but his eyelids felt as if they were glued shut. He tried to move, but just like before, his limbs were heavy and he was, frankly, too weak to even move. So he did the reasonable thing and stayed still, heading to who knows where.

It was then that he felt himself being set down and it was then that he was finally able to crack open his eyes. He found himself in a car, which greatly surprised him. He was sitting in the passengers seat, his head resting against the back of the seat, lopsided. His eyes were only open a crack, but he manages to make out the back of Hawkeye and half of Roy. He was turned in Ed's direction but Ed was most likely hidden behind Hawkeye and out of the Colonel's sight. Noticing that they were talking, Ed turned into their converstaion.

"...back?" It was Hawkeye.

"Tomorrow around six at the latest. I have to take a train to the west and I have no idea how long it'll take." It was Roy. Wait! Was he going somewhere?

"Alright. Do you think Ed will be fine without you?" Haweye asked. She sounded worried.

"He'll be fine. I have three dosages of Ed's medicine in the bag. If I take longet than I thought, then you can go to my place to get some more."

"Yes, sir. Have a safe trip."

"I'm just going to say bye to Edward."

Roy walked around Haweye to find Ed staring at him, his eyes half closed, clearly tired. "Hey, Ed." He crouched in front of Ed, who just stared at him. "I have to go somewhere for a a bit. Hawkeye's going to watch you, alright? I'll be back tomorow evening."

Ed shook his head. "No. Please no."

"I'm sorry, Edward," Roy apologized. "But I have to go." He pulled Ed into a hug before releasing him and offering the boy a smile. "See you tomorrow." And with that he just left. It wasn't until he disappeared into HQ that realization hit Edward like a beam to the chest. Roy was gone. A tear fell down his face but he quickly hid it as Hawkeye shut his door and climbed into the drivers seat, taking off down the road. It was only a few minutes before Ed had fallen asleep, lulled into darkness by the fears that had engulfed him. This wasn't going to be a fun evening.

* * *

" _Brother."_

" _Wanna play?"_

" _Good bye."_

" _Edward."_

 _The faces of countless people swirled around him, in a black void, the echoes of his past swirling everywhere. There was no end to it. Ed tried to get away but it was like he was frozen in spot, legs glued to the ground. He coudn't run, scream, only watch as the visions of his rough past flashed in his mind. And then it all changed. The imaged, the words, all turned on his, shouting at him._

" _Why did you do this to me, brother? I hate you!"_

" _Why didn't you save me?"_

" _You useless excuse as a son."_

" _Why didn't you bring me back?_

* * *

Ed jolted awake, drenched in sweat, crying, and shivering under the blanket. His eyes wide, his mouth agape, he couldn't do anything but cry. Hawkeye appeared in the room and after only one look at Ed, she rushed over. In her attempts to calm Ed down, he only got worse. His tears falling faster and more frequently. It wasn't until Hawkeye had lifted him into her arms and sat down on the couch with him that he finally began to settle down. Ed pushed closer to Hawkeye, noting how warm she was. She rubbed his back and tried most things that Roy usually did during his nightmares. But she also did other things, things that he hasn't exerienced in years. Things he hadn't experienced since his mother died.

"It's alright. It was only a dream." Hawkeye's voice was calm, motherly. A tone he could come to grow on.

Ed knew it was only a dream, but it seemed way to real. It wasn't as vivid as the others, but lately, every one of his nightmares, no matter how small, were really bad. He was always shaken up by them to the point where he couldn't stop crying. But now, surprisingly, he was feeling a bit better. He wasn't crying as much anymore. He was still crying, just not as bad as before.

His hand gripping her shirt, Ed buried his head in Hawkeye's neck, for some reason, comforted by the woman. She was, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, felt somewhat like a mother to him in that minute. In the minute he was redued to his weakest state, she was there, trying her best to comfort him even though there was a chance it wouldn't work. She still did it, and out of pure compassion. Her eyes were soft, no loner that of a hunting eagle. Her eyes were soft as a mother staring at her chld, an he actions and her words were the same. She spoke as if talking to a child of her own flesh and blood. She was as gentle as a mother caressing her child. She was kind; kinder than words, The way she held Ed on her lap, allowing him to take comfort in her, was enough proof.

Ed didn't want to move, he wanted to sit like that forever, never move again. But he knew that, in due time, he'd have to move. He'd just have to savor the moment now when it was in the present instead of mourning over it as it mlded itself into his past. Besides, he had to live in the present. Now was the present, so he had to love and do whatever he could, no matter how small, for whatever he did could change the course of his life. He learnt that the hard way, but because of that, he'd experienced many things most people wouldn't. The present would have been diffeerent, and frankly, quite boring. But now, with all the experience he's gotten, and so many friends and accomplices he had made would stay with him forver. He'd never have met half the people he knew if it weren't for his mistake. The past is the past. So he was going to stick with the present.

"Hawkeye," Ed whispered in a choked voice as he held back several sobs. "Thanks." After that, after everything, he fell limp in the snipers arms, content. He felt like he was wanted.. He was warm, with someone who cared about him. If only Roy was there. If he was, then maybe, just maybe, his little, stitched together family would be complete.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 13. Thanks to: the cooter, xXALCHEMYFREAKXx, Attackoneverything, newby6320, AnimeFreakShips, , FireAnne47, Cather Elric, Somebody, and BigChillFreak for reviewing last chapter. Thank you so much.**

 **The guest Somebody, to answer your question, I wasn't planning on having the Homunculi in the story (never really though about it), but maybe. You gave me an idea. For now, no. But maybe at some point in the future. I have no written plot for this story so anything can happen.**

 **If anyone noticed any spelling mistakes in this chapter I'd really appreciate you point them out in either a review or PM so I can go and fix them. My spell check still isn't working. Well, that's about it for now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 'till chapter 14!**


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 14_**

Ed stirred awake, pulled back into reality by the mixture of scents floating through the doorway into the room. He forced open his eyes only to slam them shut suddenly after being blinded by the morning rays of the sun. His eyes remained tightly shut after that because he didn't want to risk blinding himself. He was losing enough things already, his eyesight didn't need to be added to the list.

There was a churning, queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that only grew the longer he smelled the food from the other room. He wished that it would go away. It smelled terrible. _Terrible!_ He wrinkled his nose and pulled the blanket as best as he could over his face. It didn't last long, however, and he only ended up dropping the blanket to the floor. And after that, he struggled to get it back. Long story short, he ended up whacking his head against the ground after losing his balance and was now lying on the floor.

He must have made quite a racket during his fall because a second later Hawkeye rushed into the room, concern evident on her face.

"Edward?!"

She rushed over to Ed's side and helped him sit up, keeping a firm, yet gentle, hand on his back to support his weight. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"'M fine. The bed jus' hated me." Ed rubbed his sore head. "An' the floor."

Hawkeye nodded. "How about you get back into bed?" Without waiting for Ed's consent, Hawkeye lifted him to his feet and layed him in the bed, pulling the, now recovered, blanket up to his shoulders. "I'll get you your medicine. You're a bit late taking it."

When she was gone, Ed turned to stare at the wall, away from the window. A sadness settled in the pit of his stomach, swirling around with a ferocity that was enough to make him feel nauseous. He wished that Roy didn't leave. He wanted Roy. That's the only thing that mattered to him. The medicine, his health, nothing. Roy was the only thing that had any hope of making him feel better and now he was who knows where. It was the only thing he was able to possibly think about since Roy had said good bye to him at the car before disappearing into Central HQ. What if he wasn't going to return? What if...?

No, he couldn't think about that. He's going to come back. He's not going to abandon him like that bastard. He's coming back.

Ed squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. No. No. No. He's not. He's coming back. He is.

"R-Roy. D-don't leave me," Ed whispered, his voice broken. "I d-don't want to be alone."

Afterwards, as silent sobs shook his body, Ed curled into a small ball, concealed within the blanket, his head buried between his knees. However, he never knew, or realized, that Hawkeye was standing in the doorway, never once trying to approach him.

* * *

When Hawkeye walked into the room, she didn't expect what she saw. And it came as a big shock. Rather than the almost normal Ed she saw a few minutes ago, this Ed was just...broken. It was something like she's never seen before. Ed was hidden underneath the blanket, crying from the sounds she heard emanating from it.

And the words, pitiful words, she heard Ed whimpering were enough to break her heart. He was calling for Roy, begging him to not leave him alone. To not abandon him. Saying he didn't want to be alone. She wanted to approach him, try to comfort him like how Roy did after Ed awoke from a nightmare in his office. But her feet were frozen stiff. She couldn't, no matter how hard she tried, pull herself forward enough. Ed was breaking more and more with every minute she stood, rigid, stuck to the spot. She should help Ed, but she just couldn't. She wasn't suited for this. She was a sniper, she didn't deserve to make someone feel better. Besides, her hands were red with blood. They couldn't do the opposite and save someone. She knew that the second she pulled the trigger that day. But Ed needed someone or he'll break beyond repair, no matter how hard you tried to transmute his emotions back into one piece.

Breaking free, ripping out of her trance, Hawkeye walked, hesitantly, across the span of the room until she was standing beside Ed's bed. She looked down, released the breath she'd been holding, before reaching her hand out, stretching it until it had landed on Ed's shivering arm. It was a surprise when he flinched away, and it was even more of a shock when he pushed himself closer mere seconds after flinching back.

"Edward?"

* * *

"Edward?"

The second that soft, warm, motherly voice reached his ears, Ed felt some of his misery melt away. He may have flinched away, but that was before he found out who it was. And now that he knew...

"H-Hawkeye?" Ed whispered hopefully. Taking a risk, a big risk, Ed pulled the blanket away from his face and found himself staring directly into Hawkeye's warm, brown eyes. He could only stare, in awe at the vast degree of kindness that was drowning him, shining brighter than even the sun.

It was then, at that moment, Hawkeye smiled one of her rare smiles. If it could be compared to something, then Ed would have to compare it to the sky. He chose that because the smile was a brilliant radiance that was impossible to put into words, and the fact that the smile, despite how rare, shone, not with light, but with a wave of kindness, unseen by the common human eye. Kindness was an invisible force, but, despite that, everyone has, and can, feel it. Even in the darkest of nights, the terror filled dreams, there is always a light, shining. And that light, call it was you may, is kindness Some call it warmth, but when someone is kind, everyone can feel it. It warms the souls of everyone around, no matter how dark their heart may be. There was always good in bad and bad in good, so there's kindness in fear and just as that, there is fear in kindness, though rare as it may be, it's always there.

Ed, despite his pride – Hell! His pride was already shattered, why not scatter a few more pieces? So that's why he made the decision to cling to Hawkeye's outstretched arm as it was his lifeline. He clung to it like the world would end it he were to let go. Hawkeye, fazed as she may be by Ed's actions, accepted it silently and allowed Ed to cling to her and sob into her shirt.

Ed sank into her warmth, feeling her arms wrap around him. It was so, familiar, but he just couldn't quite place his finger on it. He gave up, however, and proceeded to sink further into the sniper's warmth, content with just about everything. He was still broken, and would be for a long time, but for now, he just wanted to forget about his worries and seek comfort in someone. He had enough to worry about and a break wasn't a bad idea. So he did, and with Hawkeye.

"Hawkeye?" His voice was small, barley loud enough to be heard over his breathing. "I-Is Roy coming back?" He dread the answer.

Hawkeye nodded. Ed couldn't see her nod, but he could tell by the sudden movement that she nodded. "He's coming back. Don't worry."

Ed snuggled in closer to Hawkeye, soaking in her warmth. "Wh-when is he...coming back?"

"Tonight. Six at the latest." Hawkeye readjusted herself, shifting Ed into a more comfortable position. "Are you going to be alright with that?"

Ed nodded, his eyes hollow. He said nothing only closed his eyes and buried his head. Hawkeye stoked his hair, and Ed had to admit, he rather enjoyed her doing it. It was comforting. "How about you get some sleep?" She suggested.

Ed nodded and felt Hawkeye place him back into the bed. She was about to go, but was stopped by Ed. "D-don't go. I don't want to be alone."

Hawkeye looked at him sadly before giving him a small nod and taking a seat at the edge of Ed's bed. The sick child pushed himself closer to her, holding tightly to her. A hand stroked his head gently and he couldn't help but smile and pushed himself closer to Hawkeye. He was tired, but he didn't want to sleep. He didn't want this moment to be his past, he wanted it to be his present. All he wanted was to remain in this position for all eternity, unbound from time. Free to do what he wanted. If everything was possible, then maybe he could stop time and lie there forever. But he knew better than that. If everything was possible, then he would have him mother, and Al would be flesh and blood, and he'd be hole again. Nothing is impossible. Such a vague word. It didn't even refer to everything. Maybe whoever started that saying should try Human Transmutation. Maybe then they would realize the truth.

Ed felt his eyelids growing heavy. Heavier than his automail, even. He could barley keep them open anymore. He was slipping, falling into unconsciousness. It was an impossible struggle and he was failing miserable. Then they shut silently and within a few seconds, he had plunged himself into darkness. The fight was unfair.

* * *

Ed was lying in bed, wrapped in a blanket, and stroking Black Hayate softly. The dog's head was on his chest and his tail wagged slowly as Ed ran his hand across the coarse fur that lined his body. About ten minutes previous, Ed had heard a soft bark from the doorway and then a sudden bundle of fluff landing gracefully on the bed. Ed was surprised, of course, but had quickly settled back down from his scare and had begun to pet the happy dog calmly. At first, Hayate was only interested in licking Ed's forehead, but after he had calmed down, he had taken up the empty spot to Ed's left side and had curled up there. Ed smiled softly to himself at the calming presence of the dog.

He felt homesick, if he could say that. It wasn't because he wanted to go back to Resembool. No. It was because he missed Roy and longed to go back to his familiar home and curl up once again on one of the black leather couches, under the familiar blankets, and bathed in the warming scent of the Colonel. He missed him and all he wanted was for Roy to come back. If only he would come back sooner than he planned. If so, than Ed would be forever grateful.

But he knew better than to wish for something that would never happen.

Just then he heard a gentle knock on the door frame and Hayate's head shot up. Ed followed the dogs gaze to find Hawkeye standing at the entrance to the room.

"Hey, Ed. Can I come in?" She asked softly.

Ed nodded his head. His gaze followed Hawkeye as she made her way into the small room to take a seat in the chair that always seemed to be beside whatever bed he was in. "How are you feeling?"

"Dunno." Ed rolled over on his side so he was facing Hawkeye.

"Roy called." Ed perked up. "He said he's on his way back. He should arrive at the train station in roughly half an hour to an hour."

Ed smiled. Finally. Finally! Roy was finally coming back and it wasn't even that long. He couldn't supress the overwhelming surge joy he felt at the thought of finally seeing and being with Roy again. It felt like years since he's last seen him. He just couldn't stop smiling.

Hawkeye noticed and smiled softly at well as Ed. In fact, these days, every time Ed smiled, someone else was bound to smile as well. Whether it was to cheer him up or it was because there was a smile on his face, it didn't matter. His smiled brought happiness because it was unlike him to do even that. Sick, bedridden, and stressed to the point of breaking, Edward Elric still found time to smile.

Hawkeye pressed her hand lightly against Ed's forehead before pulling it away again. "Why don't you get some rest. I'll wake you if you're still sleeping when the Colonel comes back."

Ed gave a small nod. He knew that he needed to sleep. He was really tired. So instead of waiting hours for Roy's return, sleeping seemed like a good way to pass the time. A Hawkeye left the room and the lights were shut off, Ed rolled over and snuggled into the blanket. Hayate remained beside him, sleeping lightly. Ed, deciding to do the same, shut his eyes. The chirping of birds, the whisper of wind, and the scent of freshness that drifted in from the partly open window was what finally lulled him to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 14. I hope you enjoyed. Thanks to: the cooter, AnimeFreakShips, , Attackoneverything, and BigChillfreak for reviewing last chapter.**

 **Like last chapter, if anyone noticed any spelling mistakes on this chapter could you please point them out so I can fix them.**

 **So, any feedback for this chapter will be much appreciated. 'Till next chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 15_**

To think that everything was going to be great. Such an idiotic, impossible though that shouldn't have even existed. Why would that even happen? Why would the world, that hated him so much, allow him to have someone he cared so deeply about? Allow him to become close to someone? No. It just had to ruin everything. It just had to rip him apart from the core of his body. It had to make his life a living hell. As if it weren't bad already, the damned world had to go and take something else away from him. And now, nothing but a string was holding them together. He wanted to slug the world with his automail fist and beat the living crap out of anyone who stood in his way.

But for now, that was another failed thought. A threat that would never hapen. It useless to even _think_ about it. He couldn't even muster up enough stength to pull himself up off the mattress, let alone get revenge on the world for taking everything from him. _Everything!_ What was there to do now? What was _he_ going to do? He wasn't able to do anything. He was just a weak, pathetic human that could do nothing but cry in the face of disaster. He hated it. He hated himself. He hated the world.

He fought and fought. Weakly clawing at the hands that held him down. He was crying, yelling, on the verge of passing out. But he didn't stop? No. He fought until he couldn't even sit up, until he couldn't so much as breathe. He fought until the world began to spin and he lost the battle.

He was weak. He was pathetic. He couldn't do _anything_ to change the situation. Blood roared in his ears and he tried to fight again. He heard shouting and he was held down yet again. He was to weak to continue and fell into the mattress, breathing heavily, tears rolling down his cheeks. Now that he was beginning to calm down, realization finally hit him and a hollow emptyness was expanding deep in his gut. He chocked back a sob but failed when dozens upon dozens of tears rolled down his ashen face.

The voices, that had previously been yelling had been transformed into a hushed monotone that blended into the silent room, void of all happiness and left with just an endless expanse of sorrow and fear. Ed's sobbing sounded from between the walls of gloom.

Hawkeye approached him slowly, her hand outstretched. It lightly tapped his shoulder to get his attention. It worked, because Ed looked at Hawkeye with tear filled eyes, and the moment their eyes met his sobbing grew worse and he clung to the snipers hand as if it were his life line. He cried silently as Hawkeye sat soundlessly at the ege of the bed, Ed quickly finding comfort in her presence.

His entire body trembled with each log sob that passed through his small body. He shook from the cold that had enveloped him and was as pale as he could be. Whether from the shock he had been put through ot his sickness, no one would know. It could possibly be a combination of both, and that's what everyone thought.

He could only wish that the world was different, that everything wouldn't have to be like this. But he knew, no matter how much he wished, the past was unchangeable and no one could rewrite the future. The world was set on a permanent path, and the choice you made can effect your entire life, no matter how small the action. The path is already set down and nothing can chance it. It just isn't possible, and that was why Ed was so defeated. Because he knew that nothing, _nothing_ , could fix what had happened.

No matter what he sacrificed.

"Edward. Do you want to see him?" Hawkeye's kind, motherly voice broke into his dark thoughts.

Ed nodded vigorously. He really, _really_ , wanted to see him. He had to.

He felt himself being lifted up off the bed and wrapped in a coat before being carried out of the room. His eyes remained closed but he could still sense the presence of many individuals following in tow. Each one feeling similar to how Ed felt. Guilt. Weakness. Uselessness. The feeling that they were unable to do anything. He could hear it in their footsteps. The way the soles of their shoes scraped against the floor, the silence that surrounded them like a veil. He knew, that if he were to open his eys, the faces of each of them would be grim and full of pain.

But Ed had it worse. Much worse. And he blamed himself for everything that had happpened. He said that it was his fault and wished that it had been him instead.

* * *

The ride to the hospital was silent. Ed sat in the backseat, leaning against Havoc, his form devoid of any traces of cigarette smoke. He had been stroking Ed's hair since the beginning of the ride and Ed didn't mind. He rather liked him doing it. He figured Havoc was doing so because he was trying to take his mind off things, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Havoc," Ed whispered, his voice scratchy.

"What is it, Chief?" he asked.

"Do you...Do you think Roy's alright?" His voice was small and trembled with each note he managed to force out of his mouth. He chocked back a sob and buried his head in Havoc's arm. The smoker patted Ed on the head.

"I'm sure he's fine, kiddo." He paused. "He's strong. He'll be fine. I doubt something like that hurt him much."

"I hope you're right," Ed whispered, his voice barely audible above the rumble of the engine. Soon enough the rhythmic rumbling ceased to exist and Ed forced open his eyes to be greeted by the hospital. Everyone got out of the car and Ed was situated on Havoc's back before the three of them headed to the front of the hospital. Edward was staring, nervously around the waiting room as Hawkeye talked to the recptionist. Havoc was telling him about the time he and Roy played cards together and the Colonel got mad because he lost. Long story short, Havoc was admitted to this hospital for burns and Roy was forced to buy both a new package of cards and a flower pot. Havoc, dumbest of Roy's subordiinates, tried to put out the fire with the dirt.

By the time Hawkeye returned, Ed was already out of it. His head hurt and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. A nurse saw him and asked if Ed was alright which Haweye just nodded to repond. Minutes later, another nurse led them throgh the halls until they arrived at a door with brass numbers on it.

Ed watched, eagerly, as the nurse opened the door.

"Mr. Mustang, you have visitors," she announced, before opened the door more and allowing Havoc and Hawkeye to walk in.

Roy was sitting in the hospital bed, leaning against the back board. He looked virtually unharmed, minus the bandage wrapped around his wrist. He was staring at the door and once his gaze hit Ed, his eyes softened.

"Hey, Ed," he greeted sheepishly. "How've you been."

Ed's eyes filled with tears at the sight of Roy. He was alive! He wasn't dead! Ed couldn't believe what he was seeing. The tears fell and he wiped them away as best as he could with his trembling hand. "Y-you're alive," he whispered. "You're alive. Th-thank you."

Havoc lowered Ed to the ground and led him over to Roy's bed. Ed immediately lunged at Roy, buring his face in the older mans chest and taking the standard issued hospital shirt in his hands. "I m-missed you s-so much."

"I missed you too, Ed." Roy ruffled Ed's hair. "I'm glad that I'm able to see you again."

"D-don't l-leave me again," Ed ordered in a voice trembling from relief. His tears dripped onto the front of Roy's hospital shirt.

Roy hugged Ed. "I promise I won't leave you again."

Ed smiled.

* * *

 _(Previously that day)_

Ed was awoken to something he wished he could forget. Hawkeye shook his shoulder gently and he blinked open his eyes to find Havoc in his room as well as Hawkeye.

"Go 'way," Ed muttered, pulling the blanket as best he could over his head. But as soon as he succeeded with the task, Hawkeye pulled the blanket away from him. He glared half heartedly at her and wondered for a moment why she had awoken him. Unless-

"Is dad back?" He mumbled hopefully.

Hawkeye, glancing back at Havoc, turned to fix Ed with kind, sympathetic eyes. However, there was a deep regret in them as well, and it looked as though she was trying to hide it. But why? The sniper took a seat at the edge of Ed's bed.

"Edward. Everything's going to be okay," was all she said.

Ed, tired and half awake, still managed to feel a twinge of fear spark to life inside him. He stared at Hawkeye. "What do you mean?"

Hawkeye sighed softly and when she said the words, she looked away. "It's Roy. His train...he's in the hospital. I don't know the severity of his injuries."

"You're lying."

"Ed."

"Stop lying to me."

His voice shook and he felt tears forming in his eyes. No. Roy wasn't in the hospital. This was just some cruel joke. Yeah, that's it. A joke. Nothing more. Roy was safe. He was going to walk into the room any second now and say it was a joke.

But Roy never came. Ed looked from Hawkeye to Havoc. "W-why?"

"I'm sorry, Ed," Hawkeye apologized.

"No!" Ed shouted as best he could with a voice that weakened from pain and sickness. "No! No! No! Why are you lying to me?!" He slammed his fist against the mattress. "Why?!" No response. "Why?!" Again. Nothing but silence. "Answer me, damn it!"

"Edward. Please," Hawkeye tried. But Ed interrupted her.

"You have a twisted, fucked up mind if you can come up with some cruel joke like this!" Ed screamed. But he knew that this wasn't a joke, that Roy was really hospitalized, but he was too stubborn, and frankly too scared, to believe it.

After that, Hawkeye and Havoc came over and he was in some sort of daze, thrashing around in bed, trying and wishing that what they said was false and that they were joking. But he knew better than to believe false hopes.

* * *

 _(Current time)_

Ed, still enveloped in Roy's warmth, was soon pulled away. Shock his him first, but soon realization seeped into him as he saw Roy's form slowly sliding away.

"L-let go," he begged, trying desperately to pry himself away from the person's arms. "I-I n-need to s-see R-roy!"

"Ed, it's alright, you'll see him tomorrow," his current enemy told him. "Visiting hours are over."

"B-but we just got here," Ed pleaded.

"We got here hours ago," the voice, now recognized as Havoc's, told him. "You fell asleep."

The boy watched, helplessly, as Roy's door closed, blocking Ed's sight from him. He stopped struggling, realizing that it was pointless. He'd be stupid to even try. Instead, he allowed Havoc to carry him out of the hospital.

The ride back to Hawkeye's place was quiet. Ed leaned against Havoc, tears silently streaming down his face. He had tried to stay strong but ultimately failed when he fully realized that Roy was in the hospital, and more importantly, hurt. Ed couldn't handle it. He wanted Roy, and that's all. Hawkeye was fine, but there was something about Roy. Maybe it was the way he looked, or his personality, or maybe it was just him. Roy's presence was comforting and he loved having him near him. He could still remember clearly the warmth he felt when he was wrapped in Roys warmth, even if it was in a sterile hospital room. It was something he couldn't put into words, but if he was forced to, he would describe it as _warm._ A vague meaning that described everything. _Everything_. It fit Roy perfectly. From his kind personality, to the warmth emanating from his body, even in the sunlight hidden deep in his dark obsidian eyes. _Warm_ was the only way to describe him.

And warmth wasn't even eveything. There was so much more hidden traits that Roy had stuffed deep down. Ed has yet to uncover the true personality of the Flame Alchemist, the one that hasn't been seen in years. Ed knew it was there, he's seen it only once before. Years ago, when he first met Roy. The moment their eyes first met. He thought he saw pity but what he really saw was the thing he'd kept hidden deep within him for his entire life. Everything that had been hidden from the world. And Ed saw it without even meaning to. And today, when he saw Roy, he saw it again. The eyes.

Before he knew it, they had already reached Hawkeye's house. Havoc was in the process of helping Ed out of the car when the boy suddenly froze.

"Chief, what's wrong?" Havoc asked, momentarily pausing his task.

Ed's head fell forward and hit Havoc's shoulder. "I feel sick," he whispered. He heard a few whispers before Havoc hefted Ed into arms and walked, rather quickly, into the house.

Once upstairs and in bed, Ed rolled over so his back was to Hawkeye, who wanted to be the one to watch over the boy. The sniper was staring intently at him and Ed wished she would just leave him alone. His eyes remained shut and even if they were open, which was unlikely, he was staring at the far wall, lost in though. To be more sepcific, rather depressing thoughts. Hawkeye occasionally talked to him but he just ignored her and pretended he was asleep.

"Edward, I know that you're awake." The same thing she's been saying since they got back. "Is something bothering you?" Again, the same exact words she's been saying since getting back. "Do you want to talk about it."

Ed, giving up on his act, finally spoke. But as he spoke, the pain and hurt in his words were easily noticable and could be picked out of the jumble of words he vocalized. It was hard to _not_ notice the trembling syllables and echoing voice that was only a shadow of its former glory. Ed's voice was truly broken, and most likely, he was broken. Broken deep down, where no medicine could heal.

"Shut up." Those were the words he selected out of his extended vocabulary. Shut up. That was all he was able to say. He hid his weakness, his sadness, and his defeat under words that would make him sound mad, angry, and furious. He hid his pain behind anger; anger that poorly concealed the fact that he was on the verge of tears. The anger that wasn't able to fully coat his trembling words. The anger any mother could pick out was false. And to Hawkeye, she knew exactly that Ed wasn't truly mad.

A hand, soft and gentle, landed on his shoulder soundlessly. Ed flinched slightly at the sudden touch. Warm. The hand was warm. It was almost as warm as Roy's embrace. Not quite there, but almost. There was just somehting missing. Like a vital ingredient. But it didn't matter. For now, Ed was going to allow himself to let the hand remain there a little longer. And he wasn't going to move it. He didnt want to.

"Edward?"

Ed nodded slightly, showing Hawkeye that he heard her.

"I know it was hard for you to see Roy hurt, but he's alright. He just has a very mild concussion, that's all. The doctors are just keeping him for the night. He's coming home tomorrow."

Ed perked up and rolled over, making eye contact with Hawkeye. Soft brown and striking gold connecting. "R-really?"

Hawkeye nodded. "Havoc already volunteered to drive Roy home. Franky, I don't trust Havoc behind the wheel, but Roy's coming home tomorrow. Alright?"

Ed nodded, a smile forcing its way onto his face. He smiled brightly. Brightly like the sun on a warm summers day. His smile brought some life to the dreary setting that was the room. His smile was powerful enough to make even Hawkeye smile. And knowing that, Ed was happy. Roy was coming home tomorrow. He couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, think of anything else at that moment. Roy was coming back and the very thought made him brighten up and chase away his shell of depression. Roy was coming back and that was all Ed really cared about. In the end, nothing mattered except the fact that his father was finally coming home.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 15. Thanks to Attackoneverything, AnimeFreakShips, Cather Elric, f . tastarossa, cheeseries, Sky-Girl1999, and DamenTheDiamond for reviewing last chapter. Thanks.**

 **Like last chapter, if anyone noticed any spelling mistakes, I'd be really, really grateful that you point them out so I can fix them.**

 **Well, that's about it. 'Till next chapter.**


	16. Chapter 16

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 16_**

It was ironic that Ed, wanting to see Roy more than anything in the world, slept a good hour after Roy came back. He awoke with a sudden jolt after suffering through, yet another, nightmare. Sweat, along with tears, ran down his face and he trembled violently. He disovered Roy was back when he woke up in his arms. He only managed to cry more after that. Relief that Roy was back, and the after shock from the nightmare. His emotions mixed together more than a smoothie and he couldn't tell up from down. He was confused, tired, and everything was blurry. He was weak, weaker than usual, and he wasn't sure what to do.

Should he say something? He could only manage to lean against Roy's chest, breathing heavily. The Colonel held him close to him. Enveloped in a kind, golden warmth, Ed slowly began to feel at ease. Slowly, his eyes slid closed.

He heard soft voices whispering close to him. He could feel himself being moved, back into the bed, and wrapped once agian in a fuzzy blanket. He was still conscious, but he couldn't, no matter what he tried, muster up enough strength to even move. It scared him.

He longed for the warmth that had just been holding him tight. He wanted it. No. He _needed_ it. He managed, after much difficulty, to open his eyes slightly. He was greeted by the backs of three people. He easily picked Roy's out from among them. They were all talking, voices hushed, and Ed couldn't decide if he wanted to hear what they were were saying or not.

A small, involuntary groan escaped his small form, gaining the attention of every soul in the room. Roy walked over to him and knelt down so he was about a foot from his face, Hawkeye a few feet behind him, and Havoc hanging out by the door. Ed could see Roy's lips moving but no words were coming out. Wait. Scratch that. Words were coming out, but to Ed, the words were nothing more than a distant echo. An after thought. But they were being said, nonetheless, and Ed wished he knew what Roy was saying.

He blinked once. Twice. Roy watched him, silently, before placing a hand on Ed's forehead. A frown made its way onto the man's face and he turned, said something to Hawkeye, and directed his gaze back to Ed. As Hawkeye left the room, Roy began to talk to Ed, quietly. Ed could hear the words, though faint, he could hear them. Incomprehensible words that at least granted him _some_ comfort. And comfort was what he really needed at that moment

When Hawkeye returned, she donned a kind exression. Ed watched as she aproached him. She smiled softly, and this time Ed was able to make out a few words she said.

"Ed...hear...?"

Using common sense, Ed realized slowly what Hawkeye meant and gave a half nod, half shake, of his head. Roy and Hawkeye frowned sligtly before Roy inched closer to Ed.

"can...up?"

Ed only gave Roy a worn out look, not fully understanding what was being said this time. Roy took Ed's silence for a 'yes' and made a move to help Ed sit up. He was too weak, far to weak, to do it himself so Roy had to support his weight the entire time he sat there. Roy took a seat at the edge of the bed and allowed Ed to lean against him while Hawkeye who stared at him with sad eyes. Roy glanced at Ed, who wasn't doing anything but struggle to stay conscious.

"Ed." Ed swiveled his gaze around so he was looking at Roy. "How are you feeling?"

Ed opened his mouth to answer but closed it and shook his head instead. His stomach churned and he felt terribly sick. He was tired and cold, yet hot at the same time. He was wrapped in a blanket but sweating as well. He couldn't decide what he was. Where was he again? He didn't care anymore. He was too tired. He couldn't care less what was going on. He slid into a daze as he leant against Roy, his eyes sliding closed.

Roy shook his shoulder but the movement felt slow and distant. Every voice sounded far away and echoed as if in a cave. It made it imossible to pinpoint a single tone or word that was being said to him. The only thing he could think about was the rising feeling of panic in his gut, but even that was distant and wasn't anything more than an after shadow of the former fear that had enveloped him so long ago. It was gone, leaving more the longer he sat there.

His head hurt, yet it didn't. He was confused and scared. He was scared because he didn't know why any of this was happening or how long it was going to last. It scared him and he didn't know what to do about it. He tried to vocalize his fear but no words came out of his mouth. His eyes grew heavy, his breathing slow, he was barely clinging to the edge of the clift, on the verge of falling into the dark depths of the sleep he wanted nothing to do with. He couldn't.. But he was, he lost his grip and was falling, plummeting into the depths of sleep, the tendrils of unconscious binding him tightly. He tried to fight back, but he failed when his eyes finally closed and the suffocating darkness grew thicker and thicker, like a pool of mud. He lost the fight to stay conscious and finally slid silently into sleep.

* * *

Roy put Ed back into the bed and pulled the blanket up to his chest. He let out a long, slow sigh. Why did this have to happen to Ed. He looked so...scared before he finally fell asleep. Why did he look scared? He looked so peaceful now, but just a minute ago he looked truly terrified. The boy's hand had been gripping the front of his shirt weakly, his body stiff. Roy ran his hand across Ed's hair and frowned.

"Lieutenant, I think Ed's getting worse," he said grimly.

The sniped nodded her head, a sad look dominant on her usually emotionless face. "I've noticed. He was barely able to walk when you left. He never left the bed, and the one time he did he fell." Roy frowned, but listened silently to the rest of what Hawkeye had to say. "I wish he would get better. But I don't know." She sat in a chair. "I can't help but worry about him."

"I'n worried too," Roy said. He stared at Ed, sleeping calmly and silently in the bed. He looked so small there, smaller than usual. His chest rose and fell with each breath he took but there was pain hidden in his expression. Roy took Ed's hand in his own and squeezed it gently. Ed shifted slightly but continued to sleep as if nothing happened.

"Please get better soon, Ed," Roy whispered. "I know you can. Please."

Hawkeye laid a hand on Roy's shoulder. "I'm sure he will."

Roy nodded. "I know. I'm just impatient."

* * *

Low, hushed voices echoed around the room as Ed slowly came to. Well, not entierly. He was still pretty much unconscious except for the small part of him that screamed at him to wake up. He wanted to wake up, he really did, but he couldn't find it in hismelf to open his eyes, even a bit. He could hear people talking but their voices mixed and overlapped so it sounded like they were talking in a cave. Ed couldn't so much as make out a single word that was being said.

The best thing he could do, which wasn't much, was moan slightly to try and get someone's attention. It seemed to work because the voices faded and footsteps replaced them. Someone touched the side of Ed's head and the boy leaned into their touch. The hand, however, pulled way soon after and Ed's head landed in a pillow.

"...R-roy...?" Ed asked. His voice was barely above a whisper, his lips scarcely moving as he spoke. A hand landed on his shoulder.

"Ed."

It was Roy. Ed was sure of it.

"...P-please..." Ed managed to force open his eyes to stare at Roy, who sadly stared back, a frown on his face. "D-don't...go..."

Roy sat at the edge of Ed's bed and ruffled the child's hair playfully, trying to relieve some of the tension in the air. Ed watched Roy sigh and turn away.

"R-roy?" Ed called weakly.

Roy turned back to Ed. "Just go back to sleep, alright? You need some rest."

That was the first, and last thing, Ed heard before willing giving way to the darkness of sleep. Roy sat at his side, a sad look on his face. Then Ed's eyes slid closed and he could see no more.

* * *

Roy rose to his feet, hands clenched by his side. "Damn it. Hawkeye, I'm bringing Ed to the hospital. He's not going to last here."

"But, sir," Hawkeye tried to protest, but Roy cut her off by swiping his hand.

"Have you seen how skinny he is lately. He hasn't had a decent meal since he came to my place. I'm worried about him." Roy turned to Ed. "He's getting worse each time he wakes up. I'm not even sure if he can hear me." Roy grit his teeth. "Damn it. I hate feeling this useless."

It was after that short conversation when Roy gathered Ed in his arms and carried him to the car. Havoc and Hawkeye followed, almost as worried about Ed as he was. The ride to the hospital was quiet, save for the rumbling of the engine. Ed hadn't so much as stired the entire way there, and Roy was getting worried.

Before Roy left, he remembered Ed being different. The boy was awake and didn't spend the entire day sleeping. He still slept a lot but now he was barely even awake for a few minutes before he fell asleep again. Roy knew that Ed was gettting worse, the doctor said he was going to get worse, but Roy didn't know it was going to be this bad. There was no color in Ed's face, his fever was too high and it's been like that for the past hour and a half. Maybe they were making the right decision to take Ed to the hospital. Ed seriously looked like he was on the verge of death. With his ragged, shallow breathing and completely still apppearence, Roy could have easily mistaken him with a corpse. And that was something he didn't want to think about.

By the time they made it into the hospital, Roy asked for Ed's doctor, and the wait was no more than a few minutes before he showed up. One look at Ed and his face paled.

"I'm guessing you're hear for Ed." The doctor frowned when Roy nodded his head. "Alright. Follow me."

Roy lifted Ed in his arms and followed Dr. Colbert into a small hospital room. He instructed Roy to set Ed down while he searched for his supplies. Finding what he needed, he walked over to Ed and placed the stethoscope on Ed's chest beneath his shirt. He frowned.

"His heartbeat is slow. He pulled away from Ed and after pulling the boy's shirt down, turned to Roy. "How long has he been like this?"

Roy thought about it for a minute. "I've been away for a few days but when I saw him he seemed better. But after he woke up from sleeping he appeared to have gotten worse. It was very sudden. Maybe yesterday."

Dr. Colbert turned back to Ed and and grabbed a thermometer that he then placed in Ed's mouth. The room was silent, save for the breathing of Roy's youngest subrdinates and the heart beating in his ears. Roy couln't help but feel nervous. He was scared for Ed. Just looking at the boy made him feel like that. Hawkeye stood beside him, the same look of fear and dread plastered on her face, but she was hiding hers better. After few minutes, the doctor took the thermometer in his hands and frowned when he saw the temperature.

"His fever's too high. If it's fine with you, I would like to keep Ed here for the night to watch over him." He looked at Roy waiting for an answer.

Without thinking, Roy nodded his head. "If you think Ed should stay, then I don't mind. Keep him here as long as you like. But I'm staying with him."

"As you wish. But just you." The doctor turned back to Ed, the look on his face sad.

Roy waved his goodbye's to Hawkeye and Havoc before turning to find the doctor staring at him. In that moment, it was almost like all the lights in the room dimmed to give thir surroundings a greyish hugh.

There was a grim look on the doctor's face and when he spoke his voice was thick with emotions and laced with fear. "I want you to know this: I'm not sure if Ed's going to make it."

"What do you mean?" Roy demanded. He was unable to keep that tremble out of his voice. What did he mean Ed wasn't going to make it?!

"You might want to sit down." The doctor pointed to a chair. Roy walked over and sat down. The doctor continued, "You're aware that Ed's condition had worsened?" Roy nodded. "I expeted him to get worse, but not like this. His heart was beating too slow to make me comfortable and he was far too pale. I can't guarantee that he'll even make it through the night."

"You can't go throwing me all that suddenly. You said that Ed was going to be fine." Roy was now standing on his feet. He couldn't believe him. He couldn't! "Were you lying to me?"

The doctor looked down. There was a look of pure pain on his face. "I'm sorry, Mr. Mustang, but I truly thought that Ed was going to live. He still has a chance, but It's going to be expensive. And there's no guarante that it will work."

"I don't care what it is," Roy said strongly. "I have money. I'll do anything so Ed can live."

Dr. Colbert nodded. Roy swore he saw his eyes glistening. "Alright. I'll arrange it. I'm sorry, Roy. I'm sorry that I had to be the one to tell you."

Roy fell back into his chair and ran his hand through his mat of black hair. He glanced over at Ed, who was sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed, ignorant to the conversation being held right beside him. "Damn it, Ed. You'd better not die on me. Hold on a bit longer. I know you can."

* * *

The eventful night lead to a close and Ed was in the middle of being treated. It had taken an insane amount of money and Roy didn't even know what was happening to Ed. He was sitting int he waiting room, staring down the hall in the drection of Ed's room, anticipating the moment when the doctor walkes out to tell him Ed's going to live. But now, after three relentless hours of aimless sitting, Roy couldn't help but feel his anxiety rise. How long did it take for them to treat Ed and save him? Maybe they were too scared to face him and tell him Ed died. No! Don't think that. Ed was alive. He has to be.

His eyes stared longingly at the hall where Ed's room was located, his gaze never wavering. Then he saw Dr. Colbert walking in his direction and he looked up, hope sparking to life in his dark eyes. When the doctor reached him, Roy saw a look on the man's face he wished wasn't there.

"Ed's alright." Was how he began. He swallowed. "We managed to remove a vast majority of the disease from his system. If everything goes well, he'll live. There were no complications and Ed's furture is looking brighter for him. But...shortly after the procedure, Ed woke up and had what I presumed was an anxiety attack. He's awake now...and he's asking for you. We don't usually allow visitors so soon after the proedure...but I think it'll be best for Ed if he sees you. So, if you could please come with me."

Roy followed Dr. Colbert through the halls and into Ed's room. Inside there was a nurse sitting by Ed's bed, waching the boy intently. Ed was lying in the middle of the hospital bed, face pale and breathing slow, he was staring blankly up at the roof, his eyes half closed, and a frown gently pulling at his features. Roy walked over and stared down at Ed.

"Edward?"

Ed's gaze turned to focus on Roy. "Roy...?"

Roy smiled down gently at him as he crouched beside the bed. "Good morning, kiddo. How do you feel?"

"Tired..." Ed knit his eyebrows together. "...Sick...I dunno..." He continued to stare at Roy. "...Were...are we?'

"The hospital," Roy told him softly, brushing Ed's bangs away fom his face. "I brought you here last night. You're fine now. Alright?"

Ed nodded his head slightly. "My head...hurts..."

It was the nurses turn to speak. She brought Ed's attention over to her, and he watched her tiredly. "It's just the medicine, honey. The pain will go away soon." She pat Ed's head gently.

"Make...away...now," he begged softly, but the nurse, who's name tag said 'Marry', shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I can't make it go away." She smiled kindly at Ed.

Roy stared at the kind expression of the nurses face as she fiddled with the IV in Ed's arm.

"Why don't you have a little nap?" She suggested. "I promise you're head won't hurt when you wake up."

"...Nap...?" Ed whispered. "...Okay..." Ed yawned and his head sank into the pillow. The nurse pulled the blanket up to Ed's shoulder's and smiled at him before he finally fell asleep within minutes.

Roy smiled. "Sleep well, Edward."

The doctor's hand suddenly landed on Roy's shoulder. "He's lucky. I've known people with perfect health dying because of this disease."

"He's not lucky," Roy told him. "He's strong. He's been through far worse than this. He's been to hell and back, so this is nothing to him. I knew all along that he was going to survive. He's stubborn."

The doctor said nothing after that.

Roy sat in a chair and watched Ed, sleeping soundly, the early morning sun bouncing off his hair and shining a brilliant gold. It was enough proof to let him know Ed was going to live. The pure radiance of the reflected rays that bounced of Ed's air, golden ribbons of light. It was like what people said: a pot of gold is always found at the end a rainbow.

Ed was the pot of gold that Roy had found at the end the rainbow.

* * *

The doctor recomended that Ed stay in he hospital for the remainder of the day to make sure he was coping well. And he seemed to be doing just fine.

It was around noon and Ed was sitting up in the hospital bed, with the help of the pillows that prevented him from tipping over. He was still reasonably weak and needed help with most things.

Roy spent the remainder of the morning talking to Ed, who rattled on and on about the joy's of gunpowder or something like that. Roy never knew Ed liked explosives. He made a mental note to hide anything that's flammable in his house. He didn't need Ed to get any ideas. He noticed Ed yawn loudly and his eyelids dropping.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Roy suggested.

Ed shook his head and was about to stage a protest before the nurse, who had been sitting quietly off to the side of the entire time, walked over and began to talk to Ed in a warm voice.

"Listen to him, sweetie. It's just for a little bit. You need to get your rest."

Ed pondered on what she said for a minute before reluctantly giving into what she said and got into a more comfortable position in the bed. Roy pat Ed on the head as the boy slowly began to drift off, wrapped in a blanket and head sinking into one of the many pillows. Roy smiled to himself when Ed's eyes finally closed and his breathing grew shallow.

* * *

Ed's condition was a roller coaster. Before he fell asleep, he seemed almost nomal, but now he was barely able to hold in his lunch, and he'd barely eaten for days. Roy hung around the side of the room as the Dr. Colbert and nurse Marry attended to Ed. The boy was in the middle of throwing up the contents of his stomach and he seemed to be in a fair bit of pain. The nurse murmured comforting words to him while the doctor held a bucket under his face.

Roy couldn't stand to see Ed like this, but he didn't know what he could do. From where he was, he could see the beads of crystal water rolling down the side of the small boy's face and the nurse wiping them away, talking to him in a hushed voice.

As Roy watched the sad scene, he saw the doctor beckoning him forward. Roy, curious, walked forward to find that Ed had finished vomiting and was leaning heavily against the nurse, eyes closed and breathing heavy.

"Ed?" Roy tried.

Ed moaned and shifted hismef. The nurse gently stopped him from moving.

"Edward, are you alright?" Roy asked softly.

"Home. I wanna...home," Ed begged, the tears still rolling down his face.

Roy sat at the edge of the bed and took Ed into his own arms. Ed immediately buried his face in Roy's chest and clung on weakly to him. Roy rubbed Ed's back comfortingly.

"I know, Ed. I'll bring you home as soon as I can. But for now you have to stay here, alright?"

Ed shook his head repeatedly. "No. I...leave...now."

Roy felt his heart break at what he was seeing. He felt terrible for Ed and didn't know what to do. He rocked the boy slowly back and forth, whispering to him until he noticed his crying has ceased. Ed had appearently fallen asleep with a fist full of Roy's shirt and a tear stained face. Roy brushed the hair out of Ed's face and laid him on the hospital bed, tucking him in gently.

"The poor thing," the nurse commented.

"I know," Roy replied stiffly. "I have yet to meet someone who doesn't feel bad for Ed."

"Figures. He's such a sweet kid. He doesn't deserve this."

Roy nodded, agreeing with what the nurse said.

"I wish that there was something I could do."

Roy looked at her. "Then wish that he'll get better. If you do, then I have do doubt that he will. He needs people around him to support him in any way possible. Even if it's something so small as a wish, I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

The nurse smiled. "Then I'll wish that he get's better."

* * *

Ed whimpered slightly when something cold was pressed up against him. He squirmed to get away but he was held still.

"I think he's coming around."

"No surprise. He's been out all day."

 _Who are they?_

"Hey, Ed, are you up yet?"

 _Roy? Al? No, Al's not here. It can't be him. Hawkeye?_

Ed opened his mouth to reply but decided against it and closed it again.

"Yup, definitely awake." He felt a hand shaking his shoulder. "Hey, sleepy head. Get up, will you?

Ed forced open his eyes to find Roy smiling down at him. "So you finally decided to wake up. I thought you were going to sleep the entire day away. Looks like I was wrong."

Ed rolled over and plugged his eas. "Why'd ya hafta wake me? I was havin' a good dream, too." His words were slurred together as he spoke. He blamed the sleep that was, even then, attempting to pull him back into its dark depths. "An' 'm tired."

"Dr. Colbert said that he's going to make sure you're doing alright and if you are you can come back home, 'kay?"

Ed nodded and, with Roy's help, managed to sit up without too much difficulties. Dr. Cobert walked forward and quickly checked Ed over. He checked the usual stuff like pulse, blood pressure, breathing, stuff like that.

"Well, everything seems to be alright. I'd say it'll be safe for you to go home." He looked at Roy. "If he experiences extended periods of weakness or if he passes out I want you to call me. I'll make house calls if necessary." He handed Roy a number that had been hurridly scrawled onto a piece of paper. Roy took it and shoved it into his pocket.

"Ed," Roy said. "I have a change of clothes. Do you need help putting them on?"

Ed's face turned a rosy red before he gave a reluctant nod of his head. "J-just you though. No...No one else." He sounded embarrassed.

Roy glance at Dr. Colbet, who was already heading for the door. "I'll get the release papers ready. Take your time."

When the door shut, Roy turned to Ed. "Alright, kiddo." He pulled the clothes out of the bag he was carrying. "Will these do? I bought them yesterday. You think they'll fit?"

Ed gave a small nod of his head. "Y-yeah."

"Alright. So should we start with the shirt or the pants?"

Ed looked away. "Shirt," he mumbled.

Roy then helped Ed remove his shirt. Ed leaned against the backboard and tried his best to help but he was still weak so it wasn't working very well. By the time the new shirt was on, half of the energy Ed had was gone. Now it was the pants that had to come off. Ed's face went a few darker shades of red as Roy helped him remove the pants and put the new ones on. Luckily he was wearing boxers.

Roy topped the outfit – a white tee shirt and black baggy pants – with a navy blue coat, which the Colonel zipped up. "Do you want to put your hair up?"

Ed nodded. Roy handed him a black elastic. Ed quickly threw his hair into a loose ponytail and followed Roy out of the room. He was still weak but now he was able to walk short distances, although, he was currently holding Roy's hand. But he held it mainly to tell himsef that Roy was there and he wans't alone.

The two of them met with Dr. Colbert who had gathered the release papers while Roy had been busy dressing Edward. While the Colonel signed then, Ed saw the nurse walk up to them, She smiled at Ed.

"Are you leaving already?" She asked kneeling in front of Ed.

Ed nodded.

"I'm going to miss you when you go. You're such a sweet little kid."

Ed stiffened. "I'm not little."

"Of course you aren't. I'm just joking. You're taller than I was your age." She smiled and Ed smiled to. By then, Roy had finished signing the papers and was heading towards the door with Ed in tow.

"See you later, Ed." The nurse waved her hand and Ed did the same. When they were outside, Ed breathed in the cool air and felt at ease.

"I like her," Ed said suddenly.

"Who?"

"That nurse." Ed smiled. "She said I'm taller than her when she was my age. So she was the short one."

"Being called tall sure does make you day, doesn't it," Roy said.

Ed nodded enthusiastically. "Yup. Just wait. When I'm older I'm gonna be taller than you."

Roy ruffled Ed's hair, laughing. "Dream on, kid, dream on."

"What does that mean?" Ed demanded.

"Nothing."

Ed pouted, knowing that Roy was lying to him. By then they had already made it to the car. Ed got into the passengers seat and stared out the window as the car started down the street. By the time they arrived home, Ed collapsed onto the couch like he usually did and breathed in the familiar scene that reached his nose.

"Aah, it feels great to be home," he announced.

"It sure does," Roy agreed, flopping down in an armchair.

Ed rolled onto his side and faced Roy, his eyes gleaming with happiness. "Thanks, Roy." He smiled brightly. "For everything."

"Your welcome, Ed."

It was then that Ed rolled the other way, his back to Roy, and remained that way. He closed his eyes and curled into a small ball. It was much more comfortable to sleep this way. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ed felt a hand on his shoulder. He figured it to be Roy, so he didn't open his eyes, but when he heard that echoing voice, he didn't know what to make of it.

" _You're a strong boy, Ed. I knew you would be able to survive. I'm so pound of you...my son."_

Ed's eyes shot open and he whipped around to stare at the far wall. There was no one else in the room except for him and Roy, who appeared to be sleeping in the armchair. Ed, still fairly shaken fom what happened, shook his head and closed his eyes.

 _I was just imagining it. Yeah, imagining it. That's all._ But still, he couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. He decide to just forget about the echoing voice and soon fell asleep along with Roy. No use stressing himself out over nothing.

* * *

"NO!"

Ed involuntarily lashed out with his automail fist and heard a satisfying _slap_ echo throughout the room. The slap was followed by an 'oww' and Ed knew he must have hit someone. His eyes shot open to find himself staring up at Roy. Immediately Ed knew that it was Roy he hit and guilt consumed him.

"It's alright, Ed. Calm down. Relax. It was only a dream." Roy's voice was soft as he spoke and his hand landed on Ed's shoulder calmly.

Then it came back to him in a flash. The darkness that caved in on him, suffocating him, burying him beneath the unbelievable force. The cackle of laughter, the blood-soaked soil. The darknness that emanated off the surroundings like a wave, hitting him with full force and pushing him back. His breath caught in his throat as every single detail, no matter how insignificant, came rushing back to him.

The next thing he knew was that Roy was sitting beside him, arm wrapped around Ed, who just stared off into the distant with eyes clouded by the fear that was slowly suffocating him. Ed leaned into Roy's warmth, eyes closed. The Colonel didn't do anything. He just sat there, allowing Ed to lean into him. Slowly, Ed's breathing began to slow down and his heat slowed its pace.

"Ed."

Edward looked up at Roy, who was smiling kindly down at him.

"Are you alright now?"

Ed gave his head a small nod and pushed himself closer to Roy. "I'm fine. Just...don't leave me. Please."

"Alright." Roy pulled Ed closer to him, the boy's head falling against his shoulder. "I won't leave you. I promise."

Ed smiled and closed his eyes, feeling safe and at peace where he was sitting. Roy was here, he was going to protect him. Dreams were just dreams, they couldn't do anything. And now that Roy was with him, he felt as if nothing could hurt him. He needed Roy more than he realized.

He sank closer to Roy as a blanket was draped over him. He yawned but forced himself to stay awake. Roy pat his shoulder gently. "Are you tired?"

"I am, but...I don't wanna sleep." Ed buried his head in the blanket. "I'm...scared that I'll...that I'll have another dream." He felt his face reddening in embarrassment. He finally told Roy why he'd been forcing himself to stay awake and he felt weak just for saying it.

"You fear nightmares. Not dreams," Roy said. "Dreams, if they go right, are pleasant. Nightmares, no matter what, will leave you trembling. Don't link dreams to nightmares. You might frequently get nightmares, Ed, but aren't you satisfied when you get a dream?"

"I...I guess," Ed whispered.

"Then maybe if you go back to sleep you'll have a dream instead of a nightmare." Roy pulled the blanket away from Ed's face and smiled at him. "So why don't you give it a try? If you happen to have a nightmare I'll wake you up right away."

"A-All right," Ed agreed reluctantly. "I'll try."

After that, Roy rose to his feet and helped Ed get comfortable before taking his own seat in the armchair. Ed stared at Roy as he slowly grew tired, his eyes closing. He remembered what Roy told him before he finally fell asleep and hoped that he was right.

When he finally fell asleep, he fully believed that Roy was telling the truth, and that he wasn't going to have another nightmare. He believed his father and would trust him to his last breath.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 16. Special thanks to: AnimeFreakShips, f . tastarossa, cheeseries, Brenne, AKAnime, Attackoneverything, Akarri, BigChillFreak, DamenTheDiamond. So, I decided to make this chapter a bit longer than my other chapters because I finally got over 100 reviews. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I never thought it would be possible for me to reach 100 reviews. Thank you so much!**

 **Like last chapter, if anyone noticed any spelling mistakes, could you please let me know so I can fix them.**

 **Well, 'till chapter 17.**


	17. Chapter 17

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fulllmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 17_**

Roy was right. Ed didn't have nightmare but a dream. A real, right, colorful dream that made him smile as he woke up. He was back in resembool, sitting by the river when Roy walked over and sat beside him. After that, the two of them watched the sun set beyond the mountains. Ed woke up right after darkness enveloped the land.

He smiled softly to himself, a kind smile. Roy was still sitting in the armchair, his face in a book. As he turned the page he noticed Ed staring at him. He set the book down soundlessly on the table and smiled a Ed.

"How was your sleep?" He asked.

"Great," Ed replied. "You're right. I had a great dream."

"I'm glad."

 _BANG!_

 _BANG!_

 _BANG!_

Ed fell stright off the couch and landed ont he floor with a thump. His head smaked agaisnt the ground and stars danced in front of him. An instant headache came to exist.

"Damn it. Who the hell decided to knock on the door?" Roy got to his feet and stormed to the door. There was a loud commotion there before the door was shut and Roy, accompanied by another person, walked into the room. Ed was more than shocked to find who was standing there.

He couldn't form any words. He could only look into those golden eyes, eyes like his; eyes that he never wanted to see again.

"H-hohenheim."

"Edward."

His so called 'father' stared down at him. "It's been a while."

Ed, still in too much of a shock, didn't know what to say. He couldn't be there. There was just no way. He left all those years ago and decided to show up at a time like this. Why? Why now of all times? Roy, ignorant to the tension rising in the air, stood a bit behind Hohenheim, a blank look on his face.

Ed could feel his blood rushing in his veins at the thought of what he'd wanted to do for years but has never had the chance. And in a split second, Ed had launched himself off the floor and straight at the bastard before him. His fist collided with the man's stomach, sending him stumbling back a few feet. Roy took action and rushed over to Ed, holding him back before he could do any more.

"Let go of me!" He shouted, struggling against Roy's grip. "He deserves it!"

"Calm down, Ed," Roy ordered. "The doctor said you can't push yourself."

"I don't care!" Ed yelled.

"Damn it, Fullmetal." Roy dragged Ed, kicking and screaming, away from Hohenheim and pushed him down onto the couch. "You're not going to do anything. So just sit the hell down."

"You can't make me!"

"Wanna bet." Roy fixed Ed with his hard eyes. There was a immoral gleam in them that was enough to make Ed cower in fear. "I guess not. Now, just sit there so I can get to the bottom of this." Roy turned and pointed at Hohenheim. "You're welcome in."

Hohenheim nodded his thanks and made his way over to Roy who stood between Ed and the other blond just in case the boy decided to attack again.

"Why have you come here," Roy demanded with his back to Ed.

"I wanted to see my son," Hohenheim said with little emotion in his voice. "I heard he wasn't well and I wanted to make sure he was doing alright."

Ed grit his teeth. "You didn't make sure mom was alright when she got sick, did you?!"

Hohenheim ignored the outburst from the boy and instead turned to Roy. "I expect you're watching over him." When Roy nodded he bowed slightly. "Thank you for taking care of my son."

"What the hell is this rubbish?!" Ed shot to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at Hohenheim. "Where have you been all these years? Do you even have an answer for that?!"

"Edward." Roy had turned and was holding Ed still so he didn't attack Hohenheim like a feral dog again. "Just calm down. You're not suppose to-'

"Shut up!" Ed shouted. "Shut shut the hell up! You can't tell me what to do! I want an answer, Hohenheim, and I want one now."

"I've been busy." Was the only excuse his lazy ass 'father' could think of.

"You bastard. You've been busy? Don't give me that shit! How could you possibly be busy! You made mom raise two kids on her own, and guess where she is now?! She's dead! And thank to you my life had been a living hell. You damn ass!" Ed was becoming dizzy. Roy was stil holding tightly onto him and Ed was now a bit thankful for that. "And you think you're busy. That's just a load of crap!"

"Edward."

"Fullmetal."

"No!" Ed was now leaning heavily against Roy. His yelling wasn't as loud as before and his breathing was becoming heavier. "I want a real answer. What was so important that you left your family for years?! You have no idea what I've been through, what Al's going through. You know what, Al believed that you would come back, he use to cry himself to sleep at night missing you. Now he can't even cry anymore. You bastard! I hate you!"

"Edward, sit down," Roy ordered, his voice surprisingly soft. "I'm not letting you pass out of me."

Ed glared at Roy as he pushed Ed back onto the couch. The boy knew that he should sit down for a bit, but be didn't want to. He's wanted a chance to ask these questions and punch his 'father' in the face for years. And now, when he finally had a chance to do it, he was too damn sick to do anything. He didn't even punch him in the face. Now he was too weak to hold himself up. Ed did too much today that all of his strength was gone.

"Edward." Hohenheim turned to look at Ed, who glared daggers at him in return. "I wanted you and Alphonse to come stay with me. I've found a nice place in the North that I think the two of you will enjoy."

"What?!" Ed shouted in outrage. "There's no way in hell that I'm going to live with you! I hate you!" Ed rose to his feet and launched himself at Hohenheim again with intention to punch him in his damn face. However, Roy held him back. "Don't you dare go anywhere near my brother, you bastard! Or I will kill you!"

Hohenheim looked at Ed sadly. "But I'm your father."

"You threw that title away when you left!" Ed yelled. Roy's grip on him tightened. "I hate you!" A violent coughing fit over took the small blond. The yelling had gotten to him and now he couldn't stop coughing. He doubled over, eyes closed, and violent coughs racking his body. The world spun around him and he was barely able to stand where he was. Roy scooped him into his arms and laid Ed on the couch.

Roy turned to fix Hohenheim with a hard glare. "I think it's best if you leave." He sounded mad as he said it. Hohenheim said nothing as he turned and walked towards the door. Then he was gone.

"That...bastard," Ed muttered between coughs.

Roy put a hand on Ed's chest. "Calm down. He's gone now."

"I know." Ed's coughing grew worse. "He's-"

Roy silenced him. "Stop talking."

Ed turned his head so he was staring at the back of the couch. His coughing only grew worse. He curled into a small ball and coughed into his knees.

"Damn it, Ed. The doctor told you to rest."

Ed nodded his head, unable to talk anymore due of the relentless coughing fit. It felt like something was pushing down on his chest, pushing all air from his lungs. He gasped for breath, but not because of the coughing. He couldn't breathe because of something totally different. He could see Hohenheim staring at him before turning and walking out the door. He could see his mother trying not to cry. He remembered the rest of that day, how his mother said he was coming back, how he and Al were both hopeful. Why couldn't he forget?

It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe and he chocked back another sob. What was going on? He never felt like this before. Even after seeing pictures, even talking about him, he never felt like _this_. He struggled to hide his emotions but it wasn't working. He grit his teeth but the coughing prevented him from doing it. Roy's hand remained on his shoulder, holding him still when the jarring coughs almost sent him falling off the couch. His eyes were screwed shut and he shook his head.

"D-damn...it," Ed coughed. "Why'd he...why'd he...come?"

"Shh, try not to talk," Roy said softly.

Ed listened to Roy and shut his mouth. Soon enough the torturous coughing died down and Ed was left breathing hard. Roy was kneeling on he floor beside him, staring at him sadly.

Ed covered his face when a sudden sob over took him and he began to cry silently. Tears ran soundlessly down the side of his face and his breathing grew laboured. Roy noticed te sudden change in Ed instantaneously and shook the boy's shoulder gently.

"Edward, it's alright."

"No it's not!" Ed shouted. "It's not! It's-"

A sob overtook him and he just broke down. Roy helped him into a sitting position and pulled him into a warm hug. Ed clung on, head buried in his shoulder. "I hate him, Roy. Why did he have to come? Why now? Why?"

"Shh. I don't know," he replied, rubbing Ed's back. "But he's gone now. Just relax. I won't let him come near you again, you can trust that."

Ed nodded and wiped his eyes. "Th-thank you. I never want to see him again. He's not my father. You are."

Roy, temporarily shocked, continued to talk to Ed. "I know, Ed, I know. I don't blame you. He looks like a terrible father."

Ed nodded, his head still on Roy's shoulder.

"I would never have let you go with him." Roy paused as Ed's grip on him tightened. "How about we take a trip to Resembool?"

Ed looked up. "W-what? D-don't you have work?"

Roy laughed light heartedly. "I can miss a few days. I'll just say I'm sick, which is partially true. Anyway, the doctor told me that it might be a good idea to get you lighter automail."

"A-alright." Ed pushed himself closer to Roy, hiding his head once again. Roy ruffled his hair playfully and just sat there.

As Ed sat there, he couldn't stop worrying that Hohenheim might go to Resembool and ask Al to go with him. Ed highly doubted Al would turn the offer down. He felt himself panicking once again and he clung to Roy tighter than before. The Colonel must have noticed something was wrong because he shook Ed's shoulder gently.

"Edward, it's alright. Just relax." Roy held him close. "Don't stress yourself out too much. The doctor said it's not good for you."

Ed just nodded pathetically. He hated feeling like this, but he didn't know what else he could do. He was still shaken up from what had just happened and didn't know what he could say. What he was doing was pathetic. Crying in the lap of his superior officer and why? Just becuse he saw his father? It was stupid!

"Roy. When are we going to Resembool?" Ed asked, his voice no longer wavering.

"Whenever you want."

"Tomorrow. I need to go tomorrow." Ed pushed himself away from Roy and proceeded to stare out the window. _I need to talk to Al now_ , he thought with a twinge of panic. _I have to tell him._

* * *

The next day Ed sat at the train station, leaning against Roy. It was early in the morning and the sun had barely risen over the tops of the buildings in Central. It was damn cold outside as well, and Ed, despite wearing two coats and a long sleeved shirt, was freezing. He was pressed against Roy to get as much warmth he could get, but it wasn't working.

"When's the train comin'?" Ed asked, staring off into the distance.

Roy glanced up at the clock. "Ten minutes at the least. Why? Are you cold?"

Ed nodded pathetically. To solve Ed's problem, Roy reached into the bag and pulled out a knit hat, which he pulled far over Ed's head. "Wear it. It might warm you up a bit. It sure helped me stay warm when I was younger."

"Th-thanks," Ed mumbled sheepishly. The hat, to be descriptive, was a standard knitted tuke that was yellow with thick blue striped running around it. It was fairly warm, and, no matter how much he hated to admit it, a bit too big for him. He ignored the last fact, however, and pushed hismelf closer ot Roy.

Sudden a steam whistle of a train sounded and Ed nearly fell off the seat. Actually, Ed _would_ have fallen to the ground if it weren't for Roy grabbing him and pulling him to his feet. In the distance, though just a sillohette in the mist, the distinct form of a train loomed in view. The orange light on the front cut straight through the thick, mud-like mist. Ed rose to his feet and stood beside Roy as the train came to a halt in front of them.

After handing their tickets to the conductor, Ed and Roy climbed on board and took a seat towards the back of the train. Ed stole the comfiest looking seat for himself and stretched out, taking up the hold thing. Roy sat across from him, their luggage beside him.

"I guess we'll be there in a few hours," Roy announced as the train began to move.

"I'm use to it." Ed stretched and removed one of his coats to use as a pillow. He wasn't going to sleep, he just wanted to lie down and he wanted a pillow.

* * *

Okay, so his plan was to stay awake during the train ride and maybe sleep when he got to the Rockbell's house because sleeping on trains always gave him a stiff neck. But it looked like that plan had been tossed out the window. He must have fallen asleep because the ride seemed to last only a few second after he decided to close his eyes for a few minutes.

"Time to wake up, sleepy head," Roy said, amused.

Ed slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Where-?

"Just arrived in Resembool." Roy stood up and offered Ed a hand. "Let's go." Ed took Roy's hand and followed him off the train, stumbling the entire way up the well worn path, blearly from sleep.

He never thought it was possible to fall asleep when walking, but it must have been because the next second he was falling forward. Roy caught him in the nick of time, right before he hit the ground.

"You still with me?" Roy asked, shaking Ed a bit.

The boy moaned. "What?" he drawled.

"We're almost there. Do you wat me to carry you?"

Ed shook his head. "Naw, 'm fine." Then they set off, walking up the well worn dirt trail that Ed had walked up so many times before. And most times had been filled with fidgetting and worrying about how hard Winry was going to hit him with her wrench. This time, however, he was worry about how hard Al was going to hug him. He had a feeling a few of his bones might break.

By the time they reached the front door, Ed was dead on his feet. He was too tired and cold to fully focus on anything. He felt sick again, which was far from good, and he was beginning to get dizzy. Roy barely knocked on the door before it flew open and a suit of armor greeted them

"Brother!" Al pulled Ed into a hug, but it was surprisingly softer than he thought. It was like Al didn't want to hurt Ed with the bone crushing hugs he was fully capable of doing. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Al," Ed said. "Can we go in. It's cold out here."

"Okay!" Al ushered Ed inside. "Granny, Winry, brother's here!"

In a moment both Granny Pinako and Winry were downstairs, all firing questions Ed's way before he even had a chance to answer. It took a few minutes, but he finally reached the living room. He fell onto the couch and leaned back. Winry sat beside him.

"So you need lighter automail. How come?"

"The doctor said it would be best if I got automail that's lighter." Ed closed his eyes.

"Doctor? What doctor?" Winry asked, genuienly confused.

Ed looked at her. "Didn't Al tell you?"

Winry shook her head. "Tell me what?"

Ed could feel his level of stress rising. His gaze shot from between the people in the room, each either nervous or confused. As for Ed, he was both. What was going on? Didn't Al tell them he was sick? He continued looking around for help. His breathing grew into shallow gasps.

 _They don't know that I'm sick? Didn't Al tell them? Didn't Roy tell them? What's going on. Why are they all staring at me._ Ed's breathing grew ragged. _Damn it. I can't breathe._

It was then that Roy rushed to Ed's side and shook his shoulder. "Ed, it's alright. Just breathe. There's no need to stress yourself out. I'll figure this out, alright?"

Ed nodded. He watched as Roy called both Winry and Pinao to follow him into the kitchen. As he watched the door close, he sunk into a great pit of despair. How were Granny Pinako and Winry going to react when they find out? What are they going to do?

All those questions rushed through Ed's mind, distracting him to the point where he felt completely detatched from the world as he knew it. He was trapped, surrounded by swirling thoughts, not a single one good. He silently panicked, crushed by the pressure he was put under.

He never realized Al's hand landing on his shoulder until he heard the echoing voice calling to him. Ed blinked slowly, his gaze shifting to find Al's helmet staring at him.

"Brother, are you alright?" He asked.

"Y-yeah," Ed mumbled. "I-I'm fine."

"I'm sorry for not telling Winry and Granny," Al apologized sadly, his head lowered. "I didn't know how to explain it. I'm sorry."

Ed reached forward and pat Al affectionately on his metal head. "It's not your fault. I should have told them myself." Ed looked away and closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the hurt in Al's soul fire eyes. His brother might not have a human body, but you could see the hurt glowing in his artificial eyes. It bore into him, scarred his soul. It was painful to watch.

* * *

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Roy sat across from Winry and Pinako, the three of them sitting around the table in the kitchen.

"What do you mean, Ed's sick," Pinako snapped. The old woman sure did have a temper. Ed was right on that one.

Winry, on the other hand, sat quietly, shocked by what she heard. "But how?" She finally asked.

"I'm sorry," Roy apologized sincerely. "The doctor said he may have been born with the disease in him when he was younger but it had taken a long time to show its effects. The disease is very unpredictable that way. The doctor said Ed's most likely going to live, and he suggested a lighter automail so it's not so much of a burden on him. The weight of the one he has now is taking up too much of his energy when he walks."

"What do you mean, 'most likely'?" Pinako snapped. "Are you saying Ed might die?"

"No. Nothing like that." Roy waved his hands in the air. "He's just...how do I put it...determined to live. Yeah. He's scared of dying so it's causing him a lot of stress and now pratically everything's stressing him out. You see, He's under medication that the doctor's gave him and he's doing very well now. On the weak side, but he's coping well."

Pinako crossed her arms over her chest. "So Edward's not dying?"

Roy shook his head.

"Then would you mind if I ask where Ed's been staying?" Pinako gave him a hard look.

"He's been staying with me," Roy replied. "And he's perfectly safe there."

Pinako nodded, thinking. "Alright. But I want you to explain everything in comeplete detail to me tonight after Ed's in bed. I don't want you leaving out anything. Not even one thing."

Roy nodded quickly. Something told him not to mess with the woman.

Pinako rose to her feet, her head just poking above the table. "I'm going to get Ed's room ready. I expect you're going to be staying for a few days?"

"That's right," Roy relied, watching Pinako walk up the stairs.

"Are you sure Ed's going to be alright?" Winry said suddenly, reminding Roy of her presence. She'd been so quiet Roy had forgotten she was there.

"Yes, I'm sure. Why don't you go see him?"

"Aright, I will." Winry headed for the door, but Roy called out to her before he walked into the living room.

"Just don't mention his illness. Act like nothing's wrong."

Winry smiled, nodded, and left.

Ed was lying on the couch, staring at the fall wall. He worried about what was going on in the kitchen. He had seen Granny Pinako walk out not too long ago, but Roy and Winry were still in there. Ed feared what their reactions would be. His guesses were: Pinako will be mad and Winry will cry. He feared both and wanted to see neither happen. He pushed his head into a pillow.

"I such an idiot," Ed mumbled into the pillow. "A damn stupid idiot."

"No you're not," a sudden, cheerful voice broke into his muttering.

Ed looked up, surprised to find Winry standing on the opposite side of the couch, smiling brightly like the sun.

"Hu...wha-?" Ed shut his mouth. "W-winry. H-hey." Did he sound nervous? Hell! How should he know. He was cold. Yeah. He was stuttering because he was cold. Not because he was nervous.

"So, let's get down to buissness." She walked around the couch and flopped down beside Ed. "You wanted lighter automail, correct?"

Ed nodded his head stupidly. "Yeah."

"Alright!" Winry stood up and put her arms on her hips. "Let's take your measurements!"

Ed placed his legs on the stool Winry had expertly placed in front of him. The engineer began to take the measurements of his legs.

"You've grown a bit pipsqueak," she commented, putting away the measurement.

"I'm not small!" Ed protested, earning a light-hearted laugh from Winry as he proceeded to measure his arms.

"Believe what you like," she said, "but you can't hide the fact that you're going to be small forever."

"Quit calling me small!"

Winry laughed. "It's just like you to hate being called small."

Ed pouted. Winry finished taking her measurments and began to talk to Ed. "Okay, so I was thinking about making you some northern region automail because it's lighter than the one you're using now. Since I've never made it before, I'd need at least a week to make it properly. Is that alright with you?"

"Y-yeah, that's alright," Ed stumbled. His words were slurred as he spoke.

Winry smile. "Alright. I'll get to work on your new automail right away."

"Good luck."

But Winry ws already gone, in her workshop, happily working on Ed's new automail.

"Hey, Ed," Roy's voice suddenly said, coming out of nowhere.

Ed jumped. "R-Roy? Where did – when?" He pointed a finger at Roy.

Roy just looked at him. "I've been here the entire time. How did you not notice me."

 _He was here the whole time? How?_ Ed turned away and laid on the couch, eyes closed. "What'd you want?"

Roy walked around and leaned aginst the side of the couch. "Just wanted to see how everything's going. You alright?"

"I'm fine." There was a long pause before, "Roy."

"Hmm?"

"Can you...Can I...I wanna go somewhere. Can you...come with me?" Ed managed to say nervously. Why the hell was he nervous?

"Alright. Where do you want to go?" Roy waited quietly for an answer.

"The...the river. It's nice there. I...wanted you to see it." Ed looked down. Suddenly, Roy ruffled his hair.

"I'll grab you your coat. Just wait here for a minute, alright?"

When Ed nodded, Roy disappeared, returning a minute later with Ed's boots and a warm coat. The Colonel helped Ed put on the shoes while the boy was preoccupied with getting the coat on. The coat Ed currently donned was a simple brown coat that did a very good job keeping in heat. Ed's been using it frequently if he ever had to leave the house.

Once Ed was ready, he allowed Roy to lift him up, deciding it was best not to walk. He's been feeling weak ever since he arrived in Resembool and highly doubt he'd make it to the river on foot. It was a good lengthed walk. And by that he meant it was fairly long.

As Roy headed for the door he was momentarily stopped by Pinako, who stood by the stair case, her arms on her hips and her pipe in her mouth.

"And where do you think you're going?" She questioned.

"Ed wanted to go the river. I'm going to take him there."

Pinako let out a huff of breath. "Alright. But I want you back here soon. I doubt the wind's going to be any help getting Ed better. "

"Yes ma'am," Roy said, a bit scared as he spoke to the old woman.

"Come on," Ed urged from where he was on Roy's back. "Let's go."

"Alright, alright," Roy agreed. "We're going. Miss Rockbell, I promise I'll bring Ed back soon."

Pinako nodded as Roy left the house with a smiling Ed resting his chin on his shoulder. The trek to the river was treacherous and many times Roy found himself almost slipping on the muddy terrain that lay out before him. Ed watched the ground slide past and the distance becoming his backdrop as they proceeded further from the house and closer to the river. His skin itched to see the expanse of running silver he always loved to see. He longed to see the place both he and Al used as a santuary when they were hurt or upset. And now he was finally able to see it again.

The sound of running water reached his ears and just above the long grass he got his first glance of the river in ages. The silver twisting and turning, glimmering in the pale sunlight. Ed felt at ease just looking at it.

As Roy began his decent down the short, muddy hill that led down to the river, Ed felt his heart pounding when the full beauty of the crystalline river finally reached his eyes. It was beautiful. That was the only way he was able to describe it. Beautiful.

Ry sat down ont he ground, despite its muddy state, and made Ed sit in his lap. The blond leaned back, his head falling against Roy's chest. The Colonel pat Ed on the head affectionately.

"It's nice here," Roy commented. "I can see why you wanted to come."

"I use to come here a lot when I was younger," Ed explained, reminiscing about his past. His lost past. "Me and Al both. I didn't come as often after 'that day' but Al still managed to talk Granny into letting us come down here. I was told I was always full of life down here."

"I can bet. It's really nice here. I wish I knew about this place sooner. If I did I'd have come to Resembool earlier than I did."

Ed laughed at that at the thought of finding Roy, an old man, sitting by the edge of the river alone. It was amusing to him. Roy only ruffled Ed hair light heartedly.

So the two of them sat there, entranced by the enticing beauty of the silver ribbon of water that twisted and turned in a graceful pattern. They lost all track of time, the only reminder to go back being the fact that Ed was shivering and pressing against Roy for warmth.

"How about we head back," Roy suggested, rising to his feet and picking Ed up in his arms.

"But I don't wanna," Ed complained pathetically.

But Roy had his own ideas and began to carry Ed back up the hill towards the Rockbell home. Ed himself, remained pressed against Roy. He was still wrapped in a coat and his head was buried in the hat attached to the coat. By the time the pair reached the house, Ed was glad that they left the river bank.

"Edward."

"What?" Ed moaned.

Roy took his fair time answering Ed. It wasn't until he had set Ed down on the couch he decided to begin talking again. "Are you feeling alright?"

Ed shook his head slowly. "I feel kinda sick. An' cold. It's really cold in here."

Hearing Ed's reply, Roy grabbed the blanket that had been previously draped over the couch and laid it overtop of Ed.

"Thanks," was Ed's mumbled reply as he burrowed himself in the fuzziness of the blanket.

"Don't mention it." Roy smiled.

Ed could supress the smile that tugged at the corners of his own lips. He hid his head beneath the blanket and curled up tight.

Footsteps echoed in the living room and another voice cut into his serene silence. "So you're finally back," came the familiar voice of Granny. "Glad that you didn't stay out for too long. But still, a sick child like Edward shouldn't have been outside for an hour. You should have known better."

"I'm sorry ma'am. Ed didn't want to go and I didn't know how to make him," came Roy's apologetic response.

"I want Ed to stay inside or at least close to home for now on," Pinako explained. "I don't want him to end up like Trisha."

Ed's heart nearly stopped. He had totally forgotten that his mother had the same disease. And she died from it. He could feel his heart picking up its pace and he pluged his ears so he didn't have to hear the rest of the conversation.

When a hand landed on his shoulder he flinched away. Unplugging his ears hesitantly, he heard someone calling his name.

"Edward, are you alright?"

It belonged to Roy, and judging by the tone in his voice, he was nervous.

"Y-yeah," Ed mumbled. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Ed's voice was oddly quiet. So Pinako didn't want him to die because it reminded her of Trish. Did she even trust Roy? Ed pushed the thoughts aside and tried to focus on something else. Anything else. But his mind was blank and he could focus only on the things that most worried him.

"Hey, Ed," Roy said suddenly, succeeding in yanking Ed out of his thoughts and tossing him into reality with a bone jarring crash.

"C-colonel. I-" He saw Pinako staring at him and he sank into the blanket once again. The gaze, hard and stern, looked as if she was staring straight into his soul. It made him somewhat uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I made you take me out," he whispered, avoiding eye-contact with everyone in the room.

"There's no need to apologize," Roy told him lightly. "I really enjoyed my time there. So don't worry about it, okay."

Ed managed a shaky nod. His gaze wavered as it passed from Roy to Granny and back again. After the third round through, it finally came to a stop when it hit Roy. He stare at him for a minute, his gaze frozen as he stared at Roy.

Pinako turned and walked away, her hands behind her back. "I'll begin to prepare dinner. Edward, why don't you get some rest. You look like you need it." Then the old woman disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Ed and Roy as the only people in the room.

"You should listen to her," Roy told him after a moments silence. "She's right. You look tired."

"Alright," Ed reluctant agreed, rolling over so his back was to Roy. "Wake me soon. I don't wanna sleep the day away. Alright?"

"Alright."

Ed pulled the blanket well above his head. He closed his eyes and curled into a small ball, willing sleep to come quickly. He just wanted to get it over with so he could wake up. Soon after that he found himself sleeping. Unbeknownst to him, Roy sat across from him, a smile on his face, watching Ed sleep silently and peacefully, on the couch, bathed in the pale sunlight that streamed through the window.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 17. Thanks to BigChillFreak, cheeseries, AnimeFreakShips, DarkFlameFantasy, Brenne, Guest, Attackoneverything, Cather Elric, DamenTheDiamond, f . tastarossa, Tachii, Akarii for reviewing.**

 **Like last chater, if you noticed any spelling mistakes could you please ell them to me so I can fix them.**

 **Anyway, I hope all of you enjoyed reading this chapter. I'll post the next one soon. 'Till then.**


	18. Chapter 18

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 18_**

During Ed's slumber, the boy had developed a fever, which was growing worse with every passing minute. His face was flushed and his breathing was shallow. Roy feared that Ed would suddenly get worse again when they were so far away from any doctor or hospital.

With a sigh, Roy re-wet the cloth that was resting on Ed's forehead and placed it back on, not even once receiving a grunt of displeasure from the boy. Pinako had put a pause on preparing dinner and was looking for something to bring down Ed's fever. She hadn't found anything yet.

Suddenly the boy lying on the couch released a small grunt and Roy's attention immediately snapped in his direction without a moments hesitation. Ed's eyes were open and staring straight at him. They were unfocused, but were as sharp as ever.

"Hey, Ed," Roy said softly. "How do you feel?"

It took Ed a fair bit of time to answer, but when he finally did, his words were slurred and barely coherent. "Sick. I feel sick. Tired."

"Well, you have a fever," Roy explained. "I'd be surprised if you _didn't_ feel sick."

Ed said nothing in response to Roy's statement. Instead, he shifted his gaze slowly to the ceiling, where it remained for several minutes before he turned to look back at Roy.

"Roy, where's..." He knit his eyebrows together, his eyes sliding closed despite his effort to stay awake. "Hawkeye?"

"She's not here, Ed," Roy explained.

"Why?"

Roy pushed Ed's bangs out of his face. "She had to stay in Central to do work so she couldn't come. Why? Do you miss her?"

Ed nodded slowly. "Y-yeah. Miss her. I..." Ed's head sank deeper into the pillow beside him. "I wanna...see her." His eyes slid closed. He lost the fight to stay awake.

After Ed fell back asleep, Roy pulled the blanket around Ed and shifted the small boy on the couch so he was in a more comfortable position.

Ed unconsciously grabbed hold of Roy's hand and latched onto him, holding him as tightly as he could in his weakened state. Roy squeezed Ed's hand lightly before placing it beside his frail body underneath the blanket. Ed lost his grip after that and fell limp, his mouth hanging open slightly and a small trail of drool running down his chin. Roy wiped the saliva away with his sleeve and leaned back, just as Pinako walked into the room.

"How is he?" The elderly woman demanded.

"His fever's seen no improvement. He woke up a minute ago but he was pretty out of it." Roy sighed inwardly, checking Ed's temperature again. His forhead was still very warm and judging by his flushed face he wasn't getting any better.

"I want you to move him into a proper bed. There's one ready upstairs."

Roy listend to what the elderly woman told him and gathered Ed in his arms. He followed her upstairs, careful not to disturb Ed's peaceful sleep. The room he was brought into was small with two beds on either side of a large window.

"Ed and Al use this room when they visit up," Pinako explains. "Edward prefers sleeing in the bed on the left."

Roy nodded and placed Ed in the middle of the indicated bed, pulling the covers over his small, shivering body and getting him into a more comfortable position.

Ed murmured something under his breath and when Roy got closer he heard a distinct 'Roy' making its way out of Ed's mouth. Roy couldn't help but smile a bit as he watched Ed sleep. The boy was sick, sure, but he was adorable when he slept. His mouth hanging open slightly and just a general peaceful expression on his face.

"Why don't you let him sleep?" Pianko suggested.

"Shouldn't someone be watching him?" Roy asked.

Pinako chuckled. "I think I've found someone up to the job." She pointed her thumb to the door where a black and white, automail bearing, dog stood. "Den's done this before. He'll get us if Ed get's worse. Besides, he's always gotten along well with Edward."

"Alright," Roy reluctantly agreed, watching the dog pad into the room, taking a seat right beside Ed's bed, sitting tall. "Is there anything you wanted me to do?"

An evil grin appeared on Pinako's face. "Why, yes, there is, in fact. I've been needing help with dinner."

 _Great, now I have to cook,_ Roy thought bitterly. However, he hid his displeasure behind a nod. Pinako led him downstairs but before he left the room he stole a glance at Ed, who slept silently in the bed, warm with fever. After that, he as forced to turn and walked into the kitchen.

* * *

Ed jolted awake suddnely, eyes flying open, full of panic. He struggled to control his breathing and failed when he couldn't remember how to breathe. He could feel warm tears sliding down his face and the cold sweat that mixed with it; the reminder of the atrociousdream he'd just had to suffer through.

It was so real he'd be surprised if it actually happened. But it couldn't have. He was safe in bed where nothing could hurt him or Roy. No, it just wasn't possible. Roy was still alive. He had to be.

He could hear the distinct deep bark of a dog before feet thundered up the stairs. By the time the newcomers entered the room he was stiff as a board, rigid with fear. His fearproved to be wrong when a familiar, soothing scent washed over him and he was enveloped in an altrustic warmth.

He gripped the front of their shirt weakly, buring his face in their chest.

"Shh, it's alright," the vocie said softly. "It's alright. Shh, relax. Don't be scared."

Ed clung on tighter, never showing a sign that he was ever going to let go.

"You're safe. Alive," Ed gasped out, his voice shaking from the effort it took him to lessen his increasing sobs.

"Why wouldn't I be?" The calming voice of Roy Mustang asked him softly, rubbing his back.

"You were, you were h-hit b-by a-a t-train." Ed shook his head back and forth, recalling the unthinkableterror that the dream contained.

He and Roy were walking together when suddenly a train came speeding up behind them. He had only just realized then that the two of them were on the traintracks. Roy pushed him out of the way but was too late to save himself. There was so much blood. It went everywhere. Soaking the ground, staining the tracks and train, splashing onto Ed. The dream ended with Ed crying out in the pain of losing someone he loved and cared about.

It was too real. The lingering fear that still enveloped him was overwhelming and he couldn't take much more of it. He couldn't, for the life of him, stop himself from trembling in Roy's gentle hold. It was too hard.

He was still crying, though not as much as before, silent tears continued to stream down his face like little silver rivers making trails across his cheeks. He tried to stop so many times but he only ended up choking on the tears that steadily ran down his face.

"Ed, relax, it's alright. I'm alive. You're safe. I'm not going to get hit by a train."

Roy tried his best to comfort him, which worked to some degree, but it still left Ed shaken up. Roy kept repeating mumured words to him as he tried to clam him down. His hard work paid off when Ed finally calmed down enough to think with a level head and stop crying.

After that, Roy shifted Ed so he was lying in bed, but had a hard time getting Ed to let go of him. "N-no! D-don't go. You can't," Ed pleaded pitifully, tears once again filling up in his eyes. "Please." He was becoming desperate. He feared that if Roy were to go he would lose him for good. The dream was still fresh on his mind and no matter what he did he couldn't push away the great sense of dread that welled up inside him.

"Edward, it's just going to be for a minute. I'll be right back."

He could tell Roy was trying to coax him into letting go, but he wasn't going to be fooled. He tightened his weak hold on Roy's hand and stared at him with a fierce determination in his unfocused golden gaze.

"You're lying. I don't want you to go!" Ed wailed miserably.

And Roy finally gave in. Whether it be from the pleading look in E'ds eyes and his fear in his voice or he realized that Ed needed him, wasn't important. What's important was that Roy wasn't going to leave him, and for that, Ed would be forever grateful.

The young boy made extra room in the bed and looked at Roy, giving him a silent signal. The Colonel, after spending an extended period of time with Ed, understood his eye signals very well. He could tell what Ed wanted just by a look in his eyes.

Roy laid down beside Ed, who immediately pressed him against Roy, stealing all of his warmth. Roy draped the blanket over his body and Ed grabbed the front of Roy's shirt so he had no chance of escape if the boy accidentally fell asleep.

Ed curled into a ball and breathed out a content breath. Just sitting there, pressed up against Roy made him feel so at ease with everything that was going on, with the problems that he was facing. It was almost as if, for even a minute, that everything was back to the way it use to be. Him and Al living peaceful with uneventful lives. But now he was with Roy, the father he never had, and he felt at peace with everything that had happened to him in his short, miserable life. Now it felt as though he had some purpose in his life, something to look forward to every morning that he woke up. Not the piles of research he had to look through, but the serene warmth of someone who cared dearly for him. It modivated him to fight the disease and keep on living. And that he was going to do. He was going to stay strong for Roy, Al, and everyone else who cared for him. And that was a promise he made to himself. A promise he would never break.

At some point he must have fallen asleep because he opened his eyes to find that Roy was nowhere to be found. The boy was absorbed in a momentary state of panic before a familiar voice sounded somewhere off to his right side. He turned to find Roy opening his bedroom window.

"Good evening, Ed. Did you sleep well?" he asked, walking back over to Ed.

Ed pulled the covers tighter around himself. "Can you shut that. It's really cold."

Roy placed a hand on Ed's forehead. "You still have a fever. " He pulled his hand back. "You were getting too hot. Pinako suggested that I opening a window."

Ed pouted childishly. "Well, that was a bad idea. Now it's really cold. I don't like the cold."

"It's just for a bit," Roy reassured softly. "I'll close it when your fever goes down, alright?"

Ed nodded his head slightly. He still didn't agree that the window had to be open, but he just burrowed deeper into the blanket, hiding from the freezing breeze that blew into the room. It was really getting cold and there was nothing he could do or say to stop it.

After what felt like several minutes, a hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to flinch at the sudden pressure.

"Edward are you hungry at all? Your dinner's going to get cold."

Ed noticed his growling stomach and gave a nod of his head. The next second, he was in Roy's arms, being carried downstairs. His head was hidden in Roy's chest and he wasn't able to see anything. Well, he didn't want to see anything. The pitying looks everyone gave him made him feel like a weak, pathetic flea. They looked at him like he was about to be stepped on any second, squashed. The look bothered him.

So what if he was weak right now? So what if he was sick? It didn't matter. He was still alive. He wasn't as weak as everyone thought. He might have trouble holding himself up or staying awake for extended periods of time, but he still breathed like everyone else. His mind might be foggy and gaze might be blurred around the edges but he could make his own decisions. And even though he was being tortured with a disease, he was still alive and he was going to keep living. So does everything he's been doing, despite his sickness, weak? Was it considered weak to fight despite the odds? It was strength to him. He was stong and he was staying strong. He didn't listen to what people were telling him, he _was_ going to prove them wrong.

"Edward."

Ed was jolted out of his thoughts by a soft voice speaking to him. He slowly move his head from its hiding place in Roy's chest and found that they were already in the kitchen. The Colnel tried to lower him into a chair; the key word being _tried_. Ed refused to let go until Roy had pulled over another chair and sat in that.

Now, Ed was sitting at the kitchen table, inches from Roy, staring at the bowl of steaming stew in front of him.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Roy asked.

"Y-yeah," Ed mumbled, grabbing the fork and scooping some of his dinner onto it.

The fork shook as much as his hand as he brought it to his open mouth. It finally made it there and he quicky swallowed the food before the fork fell from his hand and clattered to the floor. "S-sorry." He lowered his head "I didn't mean to drop it. It just fell."

"Don't worry, I'll get you another fork." Roy returned a second later with a clean fork.

Ed resumed his meal. By the time he was done, he had barely even dented his helping of stew despite his strong liking for the food. He leaned back, head hanging low, tiredness creeping into him.

"You done already?" Roy asked, his hand landing on Ed's shoulder.

Ed nodded slightly, remaining silent, never uttering a word, not even a whisper. At one point he thought about telling Roy, but he backed down right before he said it. He just couldn't tell him. He'd be mad. Furious even.

He just couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, bring himself to tell him. Suddenly he was back in Roy's arms, heading up the stairs.

"Roy? Where're you goin'?" Ed mumbled into Roy's shirt.

"I'm bringing you back to bed. You looked half dead at the table."

Roy was right. Not only did he look like death, he felt like it as well. He was tired, cold, and he felt sick.

 _I just love feeling like this_ , Ed thought sarcastically. When Roy shifted him he groaned, "Sto-o-op." he drew out the 'o' in stop longer than the rest of the letters. A rush of wind and then he was lying in the bed, safe in the softness of the fuzzy blankets. He curled in on hismelf, eyes closed, and body shivering. Roy generously draped a blanket over Ed, concealing all the warmth he had like a cork in the mouth of a bottle.

"Good night, Ed," Roy whispered.

There was the sound of a window closing and the breeze grew into nothing but a distant memory as sleep slowly crept into him. The last thing he remembered before finally falling asleep was the warmth of Roy's hand as he softly pushed the stray strands of Ed's hair out of his face. The serene warmth slowly fading out as sleep took its place. And then he could feel nothing but total darkness, void of all scents, sounds, colors, and neither warmth or cold. Nothing.

* * *

The next day, to put it simply, was a trip to hell. It started off with him getting sick and spending a good half hour in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet, thinking he'd rather be dead then suffer through this. He was barely conscious during that time and he vaguely remembered crying.

Pinako was there, and Roy was, too. But that was it. He had sat on the bathroom floor following the incident, breathing hard, clinging to consciousness, and sobbing into Roy's chest. At least, he figured it was Roy's chest. Hell! He didn't care at the moment if it was Roy or Pinako; Al or Winry; Den or a stranger. It could have been his bastard father for all he cared. All he needed was someone to take comfort in, and that's what he got.

He was freezing and couldn't find any warmth, no matter how much he clung to the person he held him. He could smell the disgusting scent of bile and that made his stomach give a violent churn. In a second he had lunged forward and threw up violently into the toilet bowl.

He began to cry harder this time, silent tears streaming down his face without stopping. Soon enough he was only dry heaving and after that he was pulled away from the toilet. He was leaning up against someone while another wiping the vomit off his face. His eyes remained screwed shut, his lower lip trembling. He balled harder than before, moving hismelf so his face was buried in someone's shirt. He couldn't stop himself from shaking. He was scared. The bile taste tainted his mouth and made him feel even worse off than before.

"Edward," a soothing voice murmured to him. "Are you done?"

Ed nodded his head. It was too tiring to do it anymore. He had enough. He wanted it to be over. The torture. The taste, the sensation of something forcing its way up his throat and out of his mouth. It was too much. Too painful. Too...he had no words to describe the terrible, torturous experience.

"Let's get him to bed," a voice suggested faintly.

Someone nudged his shoulder. "Ed, let's get you to bed. Alright?"

Ed gave a small nod of his head just as he was lifted off the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. The rocking motion of walking made his nausea increase slightly, but he held it back so he didn't have to go back there.

He felt himself being lowered back into the bed and wrapped in a blanket. Hot and cold flashes tortured him that morning. He was curently quite hot. He pushed the blanket weakly away from him and curled in on hismelf, buring his head in the pillow.

"Get some rest, kiddo," a soft voice suggested to him.

Ed grunted in agreement and soon found himself in a feverish sleep.

* * *

The next time he awoke he felt somewhat better. He had a killer headache, but he felt better. He managed, after some difficulty, to sit up in the bed. A blanket fell from his chest and a wave of cold washed over him. Just then the door opened and Roy walked in, looking stressed out.

"Oh, you're awake." He sounded surprised as he said it.

 _Did he think I would still be sleeping?_ "What time is it?" His voice sounded somewhat scratchy.

"About two. Why?"

"How long've I been asleep?" Ed mumbled.

"A few hours."

When Roy talked to him he sounded oddly kind. In fact, whenever someone talked to him lately they sounded sympathetic and sorry. Pianko, Al, Winry, Roy, everyone. Even Hawkeye and Havoc back in Central treated him kindly and did whatever he wanted. Most of the time he was treated as if he was Roy's son. Or Pinako's son. Or Winry's brother. Then it struk him. They treated him like he was dying. Did they seriously think that? Did everyone think he was dying? Do they know something he didn't?

"Edward."

There it was again. That pitying voice. Ed turned to face Roy, but the emotion in the boy's eyes were different than he had planned. He wanted to be mad at Roy for being so kind to him. What happened to the days he made fun of Ed about his height? It was like their entire past was behind them. The look that Ed gave Roy was, instead of anger, a pool of sadness dancing in his golden gaze. Roy caught onto Ed's emotions fairly quickly and immediately took a seat beside the bed.

"Are you alright?"

'Are you alright?' How many times was he going to ask him that? He was obviously not alright. He couldn't eve sit up without the help of the backboard. He was a weak, pitiful creature.

"'M fine. It's just...nothing." Ed turned away from Roy and stared at the far wall instead. He turned away for only one reason. He didn't want Roy to see him on the verge of tears despite having seen him cry countless times in the span that he's been staying with him. It was different now. He wasn't crying from fever or sickness; from fear or stress; from pain and guilt. No. He was crying because the thoughts that swirled around him were overwhelming. He felt ashamed for intruding on Roy's peaceful, and no doubt quiet life and slapping yet another problem on him. And he knew, deep down, that his sickness only escalated into the degree it was now because of his stubbornness. He knew that he should have gone to a doctor, but he ignored the warning and stayed at his dorm. And then he had passed out in the kitchen and woke up in Roy's living room. He was mad at himself for doing so. That's why he was crying. The anger with himself he had built up inside him for so long, he decided to release it now, of all times. Right in front of Roy, where showing his weakness was inevitable.

So he cried silently. His anger and guilt too much to handle. Crying seemed like the best option so he chose that, no matter how weak it made him look. Crying seemed like the only thing he was capable of now. Everything involved crying. He didn't know how to stop the relentless flurry of tears that never ceased to run down his face, ashen with illness.

There was no other way to release his bottled up emotions.

"Edward, it's alright."

Again. That voice. It made him feel worse, not better like they thought. He only cried harder after that, the voice echoing throughout his mind like a sound in a cave, forever bouncing off the walls and reverberating through his skull. Shaking his mind to the core. Scaring him deep down.

"Ed."

 _No. Just stop. I can't take it anymore._ Ed plugged his ears and brought his knees up to his chest as best he could.

"Ed."

"No," he finally vocalized painfully. "Stop it. Please."

"Ed." A hand landed on his shoulder. "Look at me."

Obeying like the dog he was, Ed turned his head to look his superior officer straight in the eye. His cold, dark eyes that held such power and strength it scared him. But Ed's eye were glistening with unfallen tears and were full of pain and misery. The difference was too great. One belonged to that of a kin; the other a peasant. A peasant who couldn't even fend for himself. A pathetic peasant that was better off dead.

"What's wrong?"

Did he seriourly not kow what's wrong? But even so, Ed told him because maybe, just maybe, some of his pain might lessen, if that was even possible. "I'm sorry...for being such a bother...a pest...an insignificant worm...a-"

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Roy asked.

"I'm sorry for intruding in on your life." He released a shaky breath. "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"

"Edward, listen to me," Roy said sternly, holding the boy's shoulders firmly, yet in a gentle manner as well. "You didn't intrude on my life. I really enjoy having you stay with me, so stop thinking that. And what would I be hiding from you?"

"I'm dying, aren't I." Ed nearly burst into tears at just saying that measly sentence. "Everyone's treating me like I am. So am I or not?"

Roy pulled Ed into a sudden warm hug. "You're not dying, Edward. I promise you that. No one's hiding anything from you, and we aren't treating you like you're dying. We're treating you how you should have been treated all those years ago. So don't think that again. Do you understand?"

Ed nodded his head, which rested against Roy's chest. "I-I understand. I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry," Roy said, but by the time he said that, Ed was already spouting out apology after apology. A few seconds later, Roy was forced to calm Ed down before he stressed himself senseless.

After that, Ed had settled down enough to be placed in bed without clinging to Roy.

"Get some sleep," Roy suggested, pulling the blanket around Ed. "You look tired."

But he didn't want to sleep. He was tired, yes, but he didn't want to sleep. There was still something he had to do. But to please Roy, the sick boy gave a simple nod of his hed, earning a smile in response before the older man turned and walked out of the room, closing the door so it was open just a crack.

As Ed lay there, he contemplated on whether or not he should tell Al, and if so, how. No idea or plan came to him, so when the door opened mere minutes after Roy left and the suit of armor clankeed into view, he had to wing it.

"Brother, are you still awake?" Al's considerate, echoing voice asked hesitantly.

Ed gave a mumbled response even he couldn't understand, and he was the one saying it. After his response, which was too incoherent to make out, Al took a seat on the bed opposite of him, just in Ed's line of sight.

"How are you feeling, brother?" He asked in a voice that was kinder than he had ever heard.

"Sick," Ed admitted. Usually he'd rather die than admit his weakness to his brother, but he wasn't really thinking straight right now, so he figured it was fine. But just this once he was allowing himself to act weak. Just this once.

"Do you need anything? Are you thirsty? How about hungry?"

Ed waved off the frantic tone in Al's voice and instead looked down, ashamed.

"Al, I need to tell you something." His voice was faint as he spoke. He didn't want to tell him yet but he knew that if he hid it for much longer he'd be overcome with stress. "Before me and Roy got here, Hohenheim came."

"Hohenheim?" Al echoed. Then the armor nearly jumped off the bed. "Do you mean dad?!"

Ed nodded, depressed. He hated just thinking about him, much less hearing someone, especially Al, calling him 'dad'. It bothered him. It reallly did.

"What did he say?" Al asked immediately, ditching the soft voice he had spoken with just moments ago to replace it with a squeaky, high pitched voice that gave Ed a headache.

"He asked...he..."

Ed's voice broke and he didn't know how to finish his sentence. It felt like he was breaking down under the pressure of telling Al and even if he told his brother, he didn't think it would help lessen the pressure. In fact, it might even make it worse. What if Al reacted differently?

"He asked for us to come and live with him," Ed burst out in a trembling voice. "Please Al, if he comes here don't go with him. I can't live with a bastard like him and if you go I'll never be able to see you again. Please Al. Please." He was near tears now, unable to control his emotions. "Please don't go with him. I beg you."

"Brother..." Al's voice trailed off significantly as he walked over to Ed and shook his older brother's arm. "How do you know we can't both be happy living with our father?"

Ed broke. "Becasue he's a b-bas'ard," Ed slurred, tears falling down his pale cheeks. "You can't go with 'im, Al."

Al, shocked, hugged his brother suddenly. "Alright, brother, I won't go with him."

"Thank you," Ed whispered, hugging Al back.

Unbeknownst to the two brothers, Roy stood in the doorway, watching the sad scene with sympathetic eyes.

"Your welcome, brother," Al whispered as Edward curled in on himself, pressed against Al's metallic shell. As sleep slowly took him over, he mumbled a few incoherent words under his breath before tumbling into darkness, Al forever and always beside him.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 18. Thanks to f . tastarossa, DamedTheDiamond, Brenne, BigChillFreak, Attackoneverything, DarkFlameFantasy, Guest, Guest, BakedBeanFart, Cather Elric, and Akarri for reviewing last chapter. Thank you so much!**

 **I meant to post this chapter days ago, but I've been playing Pokémon Omega Ruby a lot and haven't written as much as I usually do. I also have developed a case of writers block (it's terrible!).**

 **If you find any spelling mistakes this chapter, could you please point them out to me so I can fix them. I didn't pay much attention when proof reading the chapter, so I'm sure it's loaded with spelling errors.**

 **Well, that's about it. 'Till chapter 19!**


	19. Chapter 19

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 19_**

The next few days in Resembool were relatively quiet and peaceful. Winry was nearing the completion of Ed's new automail and Pinako was assisting the teen mechanic. Alphonse barely left Ed's side, except for when Ed had to tell him to give him some space, then he wasn't seen for a good hour. Ed, who remained sick, had improved drastically. He stayed indoors most of the time, but occasionally sat on the bench on the porch, watching the clouds roll through the sky. Roy very rarely left Ed's side, and luckily the boy didn't care about the near constant presence of his superior officer.

Currently it was around noon and the weather was perfect. It was warmer than most days – the promise of an early spring – and a gentle breeze blew across the fields of golden wheat and long, rich grass. Edward sat on the porch like he usually did, donning a heavy coat, and wearing a content look on his young, carefree face. He was leaning against Roy, who sat beside him, monitoring him closely in case he had a sudden change in condition.

So far everything's seemed fine. Ed hadn't thrown up since the first day, although he's been up and down with fever since then, but mainly at night. He was fine – or at least close to fine – in the day.

"Colonel," Ed said softly, breaking the silence that had stretched out for quite some time now. "When my automail's finished and we head back to Central, what's going to happen next?"

Roy was surprised by the question, having never expected Ed to ask something like it. "Well, first of all, I have to take you to the doctor for a quick check up, and then I have work so you can either come with me or stay at my place with Gracia, who's offered to watch you."

"That's not what I mean," Ed whispered, pressing into Roy. "Am I going to get worse? Please tell me. I know you're hiding something from me. Everyone is hiding something from me."

"What do you mean?"

Ed pushed himself closer to Roy, his head landing on his shoulder. "I can tell by the way everyone looks at me. You're hiding something. So just tell me; please." Ed nearly shouted the end. Roy couldn't help but feel bad for Ed. His voice was so...so broken. He sounded devastated as he spoke. Trembling words pushing their way out of his mouth, his hands curled into fists to stop the shaking.

"You're not dying," Roy said softly, taking Ed's hand in his own. "No one's hiding anything from you. Do you understand?"

Ed nodded, wiping his eyes off with one sleeve. "I understand." He pressed closer to Roy, buring his head in the older man's shoulder. "I knew you wouldn't keep anything from me," he whispered.

Roy ruffled Ed's hair playfully. "How about we get you inside?" He suggested.

"Alright."

Ed walked on his own this time, instead of having Roy carry him like he usually did. However, he still walked pressed up against Roy, never straying more than a few inches from his side.

When they got inside, they were greeted by a wave of warm air. Ed sank into the couch after making it to the living room, head tipping forward. Roy shook the boys shoulder before he had a chance to even think about falling asleep.

"Hey. Edward."

Ed looked up, blinked his eyes at the unexpected voice. "Huh, wha-?"

"You tired?"

The boy shook his head quickly. "N-no. I was just..resting my eyes."

Roy laughed light-heartedly before ruffling Ed's hair in a playful manner, a smile on his face. "Whatever you say, kiddo."

Ed brushed his hand off, supressing a smile himself.

Suddenly Winry ran into the room, Edward's new, complete, automail arm in her hands. "Ed! It's done!" She announced, shaking it so the metal clinked.

The look on Ed's face changed from embarrassed and playful to a expression full of dread. He visibly paled as Winry dragged him into the workshop. Roy followed and saw Ed had been seated in a chair. He was sweating.

Roy watched soundlessly as Winry and Pinako removed his old automail and hooked up the new the leg and arm up, preparing to connect them to the ports.

"Are you ready kid?" Pinako asked having finished with the preperations.

Ed gave a small nod. His automail leg was stretched across a bench and the same went with his automail arm.

"Alright. Three." Ed stiffened. "Two." Ed snaped his eyes closed. " _One!"_

In sync with the other, Pinako and Winry twisted a thingamabob. Roy was never very good at naming tools. At that moment, Ed's face twisted in pain and his flesh hand curled into a fist. He growled and grit his teeth tightly. Roy realized just then how much it hurt to have automail connected to the nerves. And it made him once again wonder how a small boy like Ed was able to go through that much pain.

"Mustang, help us move him," Pinako snapped.

Roy rushed over and took Ed in his arms. The boy immediately grabbed onto the front of Roy's shirt. The metal limbs hung limply at Ed's side and the boy's face remained contorted with pain. Roy very carefully set Ed down among the cushions of the couch and made sure the boy was comfortable before taking a step back.

Ed's face had paled significantly in that small minute his nerves got connected. Winry walked over then and knelt down beside Ed.

"Edward, you alright?"

Ed only moaned in response.

The mechanic fowned before movin his automail arm so it rested limp on his stomach and moved his automail leg so it was straight against the cushions of the couch.

"Is he going to be alright?" Roy asked, worried that something was going to happen to Ed.

"He'll be fine. But he'll probably be in pain from anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. I expect he'll be out of commision for a good hour or two, if not longer." Winry sighed. "This is what happens every time."

Roy frowned.

* * *

It was a good half hour after the connection of the nerves before Ed spoke. He'd been conscious the entire time, but he just couldn't properly form words. He didn't remember automail connection was this painful.

Edward was now sitting on the couch, curling his automail hand into a fist before uncurling it. He did it a few times before moving his knee. The metal joint squeeked more than it usually did but he figured a good oiling by Winry would do wonders to it.

"So, how is it?"

Winry appeared beside him and sat in the couch, one of her kind smiled on her face. Ed blushed slightly.

"The-the leg squeaks. Other than that they're both fine."

Winry laughed. "Alright, I'll oil them before you leave. Speaking of that, when are you going?"

Ed gave his childhood friend a shrug. "Whenever Roy wants to go, I guess. He has a job so probably in a day or soon." Ed leaned against the back of the couch. "I'll ask him later."

"Alright. How about I oil your automail?" Winry suggested, earning a nod from Ed.

When the machine junky was gone, Edward turned in time to find Roy walking down the stairs. He carried a suitcase in one hand and after pacing it by the door, he turned to Ed.

"Edward, I have to go to work the day after tomorrow so would it be fine with you to leave later on today?"

The question surprised Ed. "Uh, yeah. Sure. When does the next train leave."

Roy glance at his watch. "In about half an hour."

Ed rose to his feet, wincing slightly as he put weight on his automail leg.

"Are you alright?" Roy called.

"I'm fine," Ed replied.

Roy took the time to walk over and he landed a gentle hand on Ed's shoulder. "Why don't you go sit down. I'll get your stuff ready."

"I'm fine," Ed insisted, brushing Roy's hand off his shoulder after a few moments. He actually enjoyed having Roy's warmth on his shoulder. It felt nice. He headed towards the stairs but only made it half way up before losing his balance and tumbling down the steps.

He hit the floor with a loud _bang!_ He strugled to sit up but his attempts became easier when Roy rushed over and allowed Ed to lean against thim.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt? Is your automail broken?" Questions came flying at Ed fast enough to make him dizzy.

"I'm fine," he insisted. "Nothing's broken or hurt."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now stop worying about me and do you own thing," Ed snapped without meaning to. He glanced up and saw that there was a hurt look in Roy's eyes. The boy looked away. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to...I mean-"

Roy's hand landed on his shoulder. "It's alright. I understand." The Colonel rose to his feet and offered down a hand, which Ed gratefully took.

When he fell, he took a majority of the impact of the fall on his automail leg, which now caused the port to throbbed as he walked back to the couch with Roy. Subconsciously leaning against the larger man, Ed gingerly put weight down onto his automail leg. The ports still burned with pain from the connection of the nerves and he still had no clue why.

He figured it was becasue he was sick and wasn't as strong – physcially and mentally – as he usually was. When he made it to the couch, he collapsed onto the cuscions and breathed out a content sigh.

"How about I get your stuff ready?" Roy suggested, earning a nod of agreement from Ed.

As Ed at there, Winry apeared, carrying a small thing of oil. After oiling Ed's automail – which stopped squeaking significantly less – the mechanic gave the boy a smile.

"So...I heard you were leaving," she admitted. "We're all going to miss having you here."

"Yeah, well." Ed stretched out of the couch. "I'm better off in the city than a desolate country town. I'm not in the mood for abandoning Roy just yet."

"How did you get so close to him?" Winry asked. "I mean, every time you came here for new automail, you always complained about how much you hated him. What's changed?"

He's never actually thought about that before, and now that someone had finally asked him, he didn't know what to say. Maybe it had something to do with how Roy watched over him since he was terribly sick, or worrying enough to take him to the doctor and give him his medicine on time. Maybe he actually liked Roy now because he had never realized this one thing about him. The Colonel had a hidden personality, one that he kept stuffed deep down. The Colonel was actually a kind hearted, forgiving man. He was only cross with Ed because...who wouldn't? Ed was just a teenager who liked to get into a lot of fights. He wished that Roy showed that side more often.

But maybe it was better that he didn't. If he did, Ed would have probably disrespected him even more than he had, and he'd probably have take advantage of him time and time again. Maybe Ed had discovered his hidden personality when he did, at a time when he appreciated everything the man did for him.

A soft smiled graced his face as he thought about how much Roy had actually done for him since getting sick. It was thanks to him that Ed wasn't lying six feet beneath the dirt. He was the reason Ed was happy – though in pain – in Resembool. And most of all, something he had always forgotten, it was because of Roy and a typo that he wasn't wasting his life away in a wheelchair as a pathetic cripple. It was because of Roy that he got up and did something worth remembering.

"Edward, we should get going if we're to catch the train!" Roy called from the door.

Ed jumped before settling down and rising to his feet. At the door, he said his good-byes.

"Se ya later, Al." Ed smiled until his brother locked him in a bone crushing hug.

Next was Pinako, who just said a casual good bye while smoking her pipe.

And finally was Winry. He held out his hand. "I'll see you when I break my automail again, Win."

Winry frowned before a smile crossed her face and she pulled Ed into a hug. The boy's face grew several shades of red at the close contact of his childhood friend, but for whatever reason, he liked the contact almost as much as he liked Roy and Hawkeyes'.

"I'll see you soon," Winry told him, letting go.

"Y-yeah, See ya."

Then he grabbed his bag and turned, folllowing Roy to the train station. He turned, a wide grin on his face, as he waved a final good-bye at everyone. Then he finally turned for good, turning his back on his family. He caught up with Roy and moved so he was inches from the older man.

The sun was a blindingly bright sphere in the sky as the two of them neared the train station. Ed lugged his large bag over his shoulder with his left hand while his automail arm dangled limply at his side. Roy glanced at Ed before grabbing the heavy bag away from the boy.

"Hey, give it back," Ed protested, reaching for the bag.

"I'll carry it for you," Roy told him. "You'll wear yourself out before we get to the train station."

He did have a point. Even then, Ed's feet dragged against the ground and his back remained slightly hunched over. He was sweating a fair bit and exhaustion was slowly taking its toll on him. By the time the two reached the train station, Ed knew he over did it.

He collapsed heavily onto the bench with a sigh, his eyes closing. Roy sat beside him and together they waited for the train.

The wait was no more than ten minutes. A stream of smoke rose into the distant air as a steam whistle sounded in the same direction. It took about another minute, but as the train slowed down, a rush of wind tossed Ed's hair back.

The two borded the near empty train and took the best placed seats they could find. Ed really didn't care where he sat just then. He just wanted to sit down; so sit down he did. He collapsed onto the bench and leaned against the window, relaxed.

* * *

When they arrived in Central, Ed was dead on his feet. He swayed as he followed Roy back to who knows where, each step uncertain and unsteady. Many times, too much to count, he nearly fell but steadied himself in the nick of time. This time, however, he did fall. He stumbled over his feet and barreled straight into Roy, causing the man to stumble forward. Ed wasn't as lucky as Roy and fell straight to the ground.

"Edward, are you okay?" Roy asked immediately after he saw what had happened.

"I'm fine. Jus' fell," Ed muttered, rising to his feet.

Even with lighter automail, walking for long distances was still hard on him. He's never shown it before, not even to Al, but if he walked too far or too long his ports would start to ache. He always ignored the pain and pretended as if it wasn't there. So that's why he was fell. He was thrown off balance to the sudden stab of pain in his port.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Roy questioned.

Ed bruhed himself off. "I'm fine."

Roy gave him one last glance before turning back and walking forward.

By the time they reached HQ, Ed was barely able to hold himself up. He was exhausted beyond belief and was leaning heavily against Roy in the effort to keep himself on his feet. Roy noticed the change in Ed so that's why, on the way to the office, Ed was being carried by Roy. The boy had no say in the matter at all, for Roy just scooped him up and was on his way.

It wasn't like Ed had any reason to complain in the first place. He was very tired and was begnining to feel sick. So maybe being carried now was a good decision.

When the two of them finally made it to the office, they were greeted by the lively faces of Roy's subordinates. Hawkeye just nodded her head and walked over, taking Edward from Roy as the Colonel had other work to be doing. That must have been why they left Resembool so soon. Roy was already far behind enough on his work in the first place.

Ed couldn't find a problem with Hawkeye carrying him. Her grip was gentle and motherly and her voice was soothing to be heard. Even if he didn't really say it, he really did enjoy her presence. When she set him down on the couch and sat beside him, Ed subconsciously leaned into her warmth, closing his eyes as he did so.

"How was your trip?" Hawkeye asked him lightly, trying to strike up a conversation.

"Fine," Ed mumbled under his breath.

"That's good to hear." Hawkeye shifted herself a bit before becoming still once again. "Are you feeling alright?"

Ed just shrugged, still unsure about how he felt himself. He heard a small sigh before Hawkeye rose to her feet, startling Ed a bit, and walking across the room. Ed opened her eyes to find her talking to Roy and every so often one or the other would throw a glance at him. Ed wanted to know what they were saying. The only option: going over.

Rising to his feet, Ed took a couple of uneasy steps forward to find his footing, before walking over to Roy's desk. Once he got within earshot, the two stopped talking and stared at him.

It was Roy who spoke first.

"Go sit back down, Ed"

Ed shook his head.

"Listen to him, Edward," Hawkeye agreed softly.

"What're you talkin' 'bout?" Ed asked innocently.

Hawkeye and Roy glanced at eachother before:

"Havoc, why don't you take Ed for a walk outside for a bit?" Roy suggested.

Havoc looked up almost immediately, a grin on his face, and no doubt thinking about how much of an opportunity he had to get out of the office. With actual _permission_ this time.

"Let's go, chief," Havoc readily shouted, grabbing Ed and pulling him toward the door. The smoker pumped his unused fist into the air as he continued to force the sick boy out of the office.

Ed struggled against him until he suddenly found himself under Havoc's arm. How this happened, he would never know.

"Hey, what gives?" Ed demanded as they neared the exit to the large building. "Put me down now!"

"Alright, chief." Havoc lowered dhim to the ground, the grin on his face gone.

Still inside the building, Ed slumped against the wall and sank to the ground. He started coughing and he pulled his knees up to his chest, his hand over his mouth. His eyes snaped closed as his body shook from the violent coughs that passed through it.

"Hey, calm down there, chief," Havoc tried. "Stop coughin' up your lungs."

"I'm...fine," Ed gasped, shooting a glare at the man.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Once his coughing began to die down, Ed leaned agaisnt the wall and put his head back. "Why'd he send me out. He knows I can't walk too far. So why'd he do it?"

Havoc knelt down beside Ed. "He was probably talking about somehting he didn't want you to hear." The second lieutenant rose to his feet and offered a hand down to Ed. "He must be done now. How about we head back?"

Ed took Havoc's hand and followed him back to the office. After being instructed to stay in the hall, Ed grumbled to himself as he sank to the floor once again.

 _I knew that they were hiding something from me. Now it's all come out._ He shook his head roughly to clear it. _Damn it. Stop thinking about it, you bastard._ He silently cursed himself for being such an idiot. _Damn it!_ He mentally shouted.

"Edward."

Ed looked up at the deep voice that had called out his name. He looked up to find Roy staring down at him, a hard look in his eyes. "You can come in."

Ed rose to his feet and followed Roy into the office. Inside, he found Hawkeye sitting on the couch. The sniper beckoned the boy forward. When he made no attempt to move, Roy nudged him forward, leading him to the couch.

"Hawkeye?" Ed asked uncertaintly.

"Just sit down we'll explain it all to you," she said calmly.

Ed sat just like she said, casting his gaze from Hawkeye to Roy in anticipation for what they were about to tell him.

"Edward, I don't know how you're going to take you this, but." Roy looked away. "I've kept you in the dark for long enough. Please don't let this break you." he growled to himself. "Damn it. Hawkeye, you tell him."

Ed looked at Hawkeye, who gazed at him sadly. "Edward, please understand." She frowned. "When you were at Resembool, your father came. He demanded to see you and when he found out you weren't here, he swore he would find you." She put her hand on Ed's stiff shouder. "We got a call just before you and Roy got here. It was Miss. Pinako from Resembool. She said Al left with your father."

Ed's mouth fell open and his gaze wavered. _No, Al couldn't. He promised._

"Edward," Hawkeye continued. "Are you alright."

Ed never answered. _Why did he go with him? He said he wouldn't? Why? Why? Why?_ He started shaking. "N-no. H-he couldn't have. He...he promised."

"Edward."

But he barely heard what she said. He broke down right there. Tears ran down his face as he thought about what was going to happen. He'd never see Al again. He couldn't see his father and Al was with him. What if Al didn't want to see him again? His breath caught in his throat and he burried his face in his hands, sobs passing through his body.

He could hear voice faintly calling out his name, but he tuned out everythina and focused on his own swimming vortex of thoughts. He couldn't control them. They wouldn't stop. He couldn't breathe!

He struggled for air as he pulled himself into a small ball. He wished he never found out. He wished it would all go away. Why did it have to come to this?

"Ed, answer me. Everything's going to be alright. Just breathe."

The voice was calm and penetrated his thick wall of fear and panic. Someone was holding him, rocking him back and forth as they ran their hand through his hair. He leaned into them, crying softly, eyes shut tight.

"Shh, it's alright." The voice, now known to be Roy's, whispered to him softly, calming him slowly.

Ed, still enveloped in fear, sat limp in his arms, never moving an inch. Soon, his crying had lessened and he sank deeper into Roy's warmth. He just wanted to get away.

"Hawkeye, I'm going to take Ed home. Can you give me a ride?"

"Yes sir."

Ed could feel himself being lifted and carried. However, he was too distressed to really care or fully comphrehend what was going on around him. He could clearly feel himself being held and the warmth that came with the touch, yet at the same time everything felt distant, like it wasn't real or all part of a dream

He wished it _was_ a deam. But he knew better than to wish that. He never, even in his worst nightmares and aftermaths, had felt a feeling of dread as powerful as the one now. Only once before had he felt like this, and it was when he had almost lost Alphonse.

Thinking that only caused him to think about more foul memories. Everything he'd tried to push deep down until now was resurfacing. Bubling upwards. Higher and higher. He couldn't take it any more. He moved slightly, prehaphs as a way to escape, but when he felt the hands around him tighten ever so slighly, he settled down, falling limp once again.

He could hear talking. Two distinct tones communicating back and forth, too quiet to fully understand. From where he sat, with his head pressed agianst someone's chest, he could hear the low vibrations that rumbled deep in their throat. As he listened to the pattern of hgh and low, he felt himself growing drowsy. His mind shutting down. Soon he found himself asleep.

* * *

Roy gently rocked Ed back and forth, running his hand through the boy's hair. He still couldn't understand what was happening to Ed. The boy was sitting on the couch silently when he suddenly just broke down, tears streaming down his face. Roy had tried his best to comfort him, ask him what was wrong, but Ed never answered to anything. He just kept crying, stiff as a board. Roy had eventually picked Ed up and held him in his lap while he slowly rocked him back and forth. Ed had, thankfully, improved a bit, but he wasn't back to normal.

He was almost in a sort of trance. He remained conscious, but he responded to nothing. His name, touch, sound, scent, nothing. Ed's crying soon decreased and the young boy sank closer to Roy's chest. The Colonel brought the boy closer to him.

"Hawkeye, I'm going to take Ed home. Can you give me a ride?"

Hi lieutenantt nodded. "Yes sir."

Roy gathered Ed in his arms, feeling the boy stiffen where he was. The trip to the car was silent except for Ed's pathetic sobs. Each time Ed began to cry harder, Roy quickly calmed him down and brought him closer to him. The boy calmed down each time, and by the time they reached the car, Ed was alredy asleep.

Ed slowly stirred to consciousness with a soft groan.

He hated waking up. He was always so tired after opening his eyes that it was just terrible. He did a silent countdown from three before he forced his eyes open. The world swam around him for a minute before slowly settling back into place.

Normally when Ed woke up, he saw Roy. And normally when he saw Roy, there was a kind smile on the Colonels face.

But today...

Today there was a pitying, sympathetic look in the old mans eyes. It made Ed wonder why he looked like that. And why he was staring at him like that.

Then he remembered.

Al was gone.

Hohenheim took him.

His brother was taken from him.

His breath caught in his throat.

He was never going to see Al again.

His brother was lost to him forever.

And it was all that bastards fault.

He rolled over in the bed, pulling the blanket over him so it shielded him from the sympathetic gaze of Roy.

How could he. How could his own brother leave him. He said he wouldn't.

 _Damn it. Not not. Damn it!_ Ed mentally screamed, gritting his teeth. The pain of losing Al again scratched and clawed its way to the surface. Ripping and tearing him. Breaking him. He couldn't help it. It was too much. Crying did nothing to relieve the guilt that enveloped him. Crying did nothing but display his weakness for all to see. Crying did nothing to help the pain of losing someone he loved when it wasn't his fault.

But he did cry. He cried because it was the only thing weak prople could do. Crying seemed like the only option he had.

Bedridden with illness, his mind scrambled from guilt and stress. Eerything was going great. Everything was going uphill. But now...

Every damn thing was falling apart like a puzzle knocked off a a table. Each tiny piece lost. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't find his voice. He wanted to run and hide, but he couldnèt stand. He wanted to slug his bastard father in the face, but he didn't know where he was. No matter what path he decided to choose, there was bound to be a road block. He couldn't try to find Al because he didn't even know where he was. There was no hope of anything. He was a failure. A damn failure.

The warmth of a hand landed gracefully on th side of his face, jolting him back to the harshness of reality with a bone crushing crash.

"Edward, it's alright. Please don't cry. It's alright."

Roy's voice was so kind, so full of warmth. Ed would later find out that he had subconsciously leaned into the carressing touch of his superior officer.

"I wan' Al," Ed whimpered. "I need 'im."

"It's alright, Ed," Roy whisered softly. His voice was so full of warmth that Ed never wanted him to stop. It was just so comforting, soothing. It made him feel grateful that he was able to spend so much time with Roy. "I'll find him for you; I promise." He made a promise, and Ed believed him. It was rare for the Colonel to break a promise, and Ed had yet seen him do it to him.

He nodded slightly, curling in on Roy's hand, never wanting it to go. It couldn't go. It had to stay with him, forever. The hand was just so warm and soft. But nothing ever lasts forever, he reminded himself when the hand finally disappeared and left a cold emptiness in its place.

But it didn't matter anymore. He was already slipping into sleep once again, believing that Roy would get Al back from his bastard of a father.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 19! Sorry for not updating. I've been on vacation for the past week and found no chance to write. But, now that I'm back home, I decided to update. Thanks to DamenTheDiamond, BigChillFreak, Attackoneverything, AnimeFreakShips, lexieconextreme, Guest, f . tastarossa, Guest, Akarri, PinkFox99, and Cather Elric for reviewing last chapter. Thanks you so much!**

 **If you noticed any spelling mistakes, could you please let me know so I can change them. I still don't have spell check, I don't feel like getting my dictionary, and my Wi-Fi is so crappy that I can't use an online dictionary. So, there's bound to be spelling mistakes.**

 **Well, 'Till next chapter!**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: _I don't own Fullmetal alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 20_**

"Ed. Wake up, sleepy head. Edward."

Ed groaned as he was rocked back and forth. Someone's attempt to wake him, he figured. He didn't wake up, in fact, he just seemed to get even more tired. Who cares if they wanted him awake. He wanted to sleep! So he tried. But the longer he kept his eyes closed, the more the shaking increased, and the more the shaking increased, the harder it became to fall asleep.

With a frustrated groan, Ed forced open his eyes and glared up at Roy, who stood above him.

"Hey there, sleepy head," he said, jokingly. "Glad you finally decided to open your eyes."

Ed muttered something under his breath before pulling the blanket over his head. His blanket shield didn't last very long, for a second later it was pulled away and placed on the floor, at least a meter from the bed, out of his reach.

"What gives?" Ed groaned. "I was jus' tryin' ta slee'." His words were slurred as he talked. He blamed the tiredness that engulfed him like a wave.

"I have to go to work," Roy explained, much to Ed's displeasure. "And you're coming."

"But I don't wanna," Ed moaned childishly. He swatted Roy's hand away and pushed his head underneath the pillow.

He clung weakly to the mattress so he didn't have to go, but his attempts failed when Roy effortlessly pried his fingers off the mattress and carried him out of the room.

"I'm tired," Ed complained as Roy set him down on the couch. "I jus' wanna sleep. It's not fair." He curled in on himself and tried to get at least a few seconds of sleep before leaving.

Apparently he did fall asleep, because he was, once again, being shaken awake.

"Can you stop falling asleep for a minute?" Roy asked when Ed only groaned. "Come on, kid." He lifted the kid in his arms and carried him towards the door. Ed didn't so much as struggle against the gentle hold and was silently placed into the passengers seat.

And again, he must have drifted off, because he was pulled back intp time, not by shaked, but by a twisted feeling deep in his gut. He was in a totally different place now. He was lying on his back on a soft surface, a pillow under his head. He twisted his head around to figure out where he was and discovered, almost immediately, that he was in Roy office. He would have figured it out without hesitation if it weren't for his sick, muddled mind.

"He's awake," a voice said from off to his left.

Ed directed his gaze over to the voice and found Hawkeye kneeling beside him. Her back was turned to him so she couldn't see him staring at her, and she was talking to Roy, who rose to his feet a moment later and walked over to Ed. He, too, knelt down beside him, his face pale from stress. He brushed his hand against Ed's cheek.

"How are you feeling, kiddo?" He asked gently. He stared calmly down at Ed, although, there was an air of unease and stress floating densly around him.

Ed opened his mouth to reply but closed it soon after. He wanted to tell Roy he felt sick, but he didn't know how to explain it. He could always be open about it and say 'I'm sick', or he could just mumble something and wait to see if Roy understood.

Whatever he would have chosen obviously didn't matter anymore, because the long stretch of silence must have not felt good to Roy. The Colonel pressed his hand against Ed's forehead, a frown tugging at his lips.

"Congratulations, Ed. You have a fever." He pulled back and with a sigh, he said, "Lieutenant, can you get me something that would lower Ed's fever."

With a salute, Hawkeye turned on her heel and walked briskly out of the room. Then silence.

Ed just stared at Roy lazily, trying hard not to be sick. He blinked a few times before shifting his gaze to the roof, where he stared at the textured ceiling. In a few minutes, Hawkeye returned, accompanied by a bottle of water and a cloth. She laid the dampened cloth across Ed's forehead and pulled a small container out of her pocket. It held several small white pills.

The sniper took one of the pills and opened the water bottle. "Edward, you'll feel better if you take this." She held up the pill for Ed to see.

The boy nodded.

He tried to sit up to take the pill but fell down the second he put his weight on his arms. Roy ended up having to hold him up as he sat, in case Ed fell over or forward. Hawkeye handed him the pill, which he placed on his tongue. The boy took a quickly fair sized sip of the ice cold water before swallowing the pill quickly. He recoiled at bitter taste that slid down his throat. This only caused him to down about half the water bottle to rid himself of the taste. Afterwards, he fell back into the cuscions, tired.

It dawned on him just then. _What the hell did I just take._ A vague idea came to him as his eyelids grew heavier and threatned to fall. However, he forced the to stay open, using all of his willpower to do the task. Untimately he failed when his eyes slid closed.

But right before he fell aseep, he could feet a sudden grip on his hand that radiated warmth into his body, followd by a voice almost too quiet to hear.

Almost.

"Sleep well, Ed." Was what the voice said right before Ed found himself in the dark expanse of sleep. Sleep induced by whatever bitter pill he swallowed.

* * *

"What _did_ you give him?" Roy asked his Lieutenant, pointing a thumb at Edward, who had promptly passed out after swallowing the pill.

"It will reduce nasuea," Hawkeye explained simply. "But it makes you drowsy and most of the time fall asleep. And I think Edward could do with a few more hours of sleep."

"And just how long is he going to be out?"

"An hour at most." Hawkeye handed him the bottle. "Check for yourself," she said when Roy looked at her with an unsure epression.

It turned out that Hawkeye was right. It said so right on the bottle. The bottle literally said, quickly scrawled in ink, the words: _Hawkeye was right._

Roy couldn't help but smile a what was written there, but the smile soon faded when he heard a groan from Edward. But the boy should still be asleep. Roy turend and found Ed, still sleeping, but with a pained expression on his face.

"Nightmare," Roy muttered to himself.

He knelt beside Ed and gently squeezed the boys hand. "Hey, Ed, it' alright," He said calmly. It surprised him to find Ed, who still remained unconscious, weakly grip Roy's hand back, claming down slightly at the touch. And at that, Roy couldn't help but allow a smile to cross his face.

"Sleep well, Ed," he whispered.

He pulled the blanket that he had brought with him over top of Ed, place the cloth, which had fallen to the ground, back onto his forehead, and brushed his bangs out of his face before turning to head to his desk, but not before he gave Ed one last smile.

Now that he was at his desk and everyone was at work, he couldn't stop thinking about Ed. He wondered, like always, how Edward felt, being sick, striken with a disease. How he'd been on deaths door on more than one occasion, though, he would never tell Ed that. The poor boy would have a heart attack if he found that out. He was under too much stress already. Any more and he would surely break down completely under the pressure.

That was what Roy and every one's been keeping from the boy. That he wasn't yet in the clear, and still had a fight to win. They feared that, if they told Ed, he would loose the will to live and rot away in a shell of his former self. No one wanted to see that happen.

Right after work today, Ed had a doctors appointment and Roy was hoping that Ed didn't accidentally find out. Hopefully.

* * *

There was a lot commotion somewhere off to his left. Feet ponding against the ground, voices raised in frantic shouts. Ed tried to tun ethem out, and did a hell of a good job doing it. But that was before he was pulled off the couch ad carried, at a run, somewhere.

A loud ringing reached his ears and he tried his best to plug them. Then smoke reached his nose and he stared to couch. Opening his eyes, he saw smoke everywhere. Thick black, curling tendrils of smoke reaching everywhere. He coughed some more as the smoke invaded his lungs, but a second later the blanket was thrown over his head, blocking off some of the smoke.

"Shit," he heard someone almost shout in anger. He felt their direction change and then running in another direction. He continued to cough. The smoke was thicker here and the blanket had fallen off his head, giving him a full blast of the smoke.

"There's the exit!" He heard someone shout.

A few moments later, fresh air chased away the smoke. However, Ed countinued to cough violently. The rest of the Central HQ soldiers stood outside, staring up at the building that was on fire.

 _Fire?_

How did HQ get caught on fire? Ed continued to wonder that as he coughed into Roy's shirt. The Colonel pat his back and found a seat off towards the edge of the crowd, where he sat, adjusting Ed to a better position on Roy's lap. The boy continued to cough

"Do you think he breathed in too much smoke?" Havoc asked as he looked closely at Ed's face.

"I doubt it. But his lungs weren't the strongest before, anyway," Roy explained. "The disease is primarily attacking his lungs, so the smoke must have been harder on him that us."

His chest felt heavy and like someone was pressing down on him. He struggled to suck in breaths at times. Ed coughed and curled in on himself, pressing his face into Roy's chest. Roy rubbed his back.

"Just take deep breaths," Roy whispered into his ear.

Ed tried but broke into another coughing fit. Roy shifted Ed so he was facing away from him, much to Ed's displeasure. Faintly, in the distance, he could hear sirens, the noise only growing louder as time passed. Ed was too tired to care at all, so he buried his head in Roy's chest, coughing violently, still.

For what felt like minutes, he hacked up the smoke from his lungs, hating every second of it. He breathed in deeply just like Roy had said, but each breath only ended in a cough that shook him to the core. He screwed his eye shut tight.

"Edward. Ed. Answer me."

Roy was shaing him lightly on the shoulder, bringing out a new coughng fit.

"Edward, it's alright. Just cough and take deep breaths. Alright?"

Ed nodded his head and held tighter to Roy. He was still unsure about what was going on and wanted nothing more than to be back in Roy's office, sleeping on the couch. But no. He was outside, in the cold, wearing nothing more than a short sleeved white shirt and thin brown pants. He was freezing. The blanket had been lost in the scramble to get out of the building and now Ed was freezing. He shivered and pressed himself closer to Roy.

"Are you guys alright?" A deep, gruff voice asked.

Ed flinched away from the voice.

"We are. But I think he's having some difficulties breathing." Roy tapped Ed's shoulder. "He won't stop coughing."

Ed felt hands taking him from Roy and he fought back weakly, but a coughing fit overtook him and he lost the will to fight. Let alone move. His body fell limp against a strangers and he felt large, beefy hands on his forehead. They were cold. He tried to get away but he felt someone looking him over.

"Did he have a fever before?" the gruff man asked. Ed could feel his chest vibrate as he talked. He must be leaning against him.

"Yes. He's been very sick lately" That was Roy. Oh, how much Ed wanted to be back in his arms. He tried to get back but started coughing and fell backwards, gasping for breath.

"I think it'll be a good idea to take him to the hospital. We'll check him from there." Ed felt himelf being lifted up. That's when he had enough.

With his eyes still closed, Ed thrashed in the strangers arms in an attempt to break free. But the stranger was strong. Or prehaphs he was just weak. His futile attempts failed and left him coughing even more than before. He was pressed up againt the mans chest as he was carried, too weak to do anything. He was as limp as a rag doll and felt that way as well.

His head fell against this chest, no longer caring who it was. He just wanted to go. To leave. And he was leaving now. However, it was to the hospital, some place he didn't like.

He was laid down somewhere and felt something getting pressed over his face. He swiped at it weakly but felt a hand guilding his own back down.

"It'll help you breathe," he was told gently. A hand stroked his forehead when the ground started shaking. Was it even the ground?

He didn't care anymore. What he wanted most right then was to sleep. So he did. And he fell asleep oddly quickly.

* * *

When Roy got to the hospital, he was relieved to find that Ed was going to be fine. He breathed in a bit too much smoke but was put on oxygen and was getting better. He was currently sleeping, as the paramedic who brought him to the hospital said he had passed out in the ambulance. Roy was led into Ed's room and over to his bed, where he slept silently, an oxygen mask over his face. There was a few patches of soot on his skin, which disappeared when Roy wiped them away with his sleeve.

It was so unexpected when the fire began that all of HQ was in a panic. Appearently one of the many smokers had thrown his cigarette into a wastebin full of paper and traces of black powder, of all things. It went downhill from was first an explosion and then the fire began. The wastebin was fairly cloe to the closest exit from Roy's office, so they had to go the long way around. And thus the reason Ed breathed in more smoke than he should have.

He heard a small groan coming from below, so he directed his attention downwards to find Ed stirring to life. At the sign of life, the nurse turned off the oxygen and removed the mask, just as Ed squinted his eyes open.

"Roy?" He rasped. "Where...?"

"The hospital" Roy said so the boy didn't strain himself. "You passed out in the ambulance. HQ caught on fire. You breathed in too much smoke."

It took a moment for recognition to dawn in Ed's eyes, and when it did, he nodded slight. "When can I...leave?" He asked, weakly.

"Soon." Roy ran his hand across Ed's forehead. "You had a doctors appointment anyway."

Ed moaned. "Damn it. I forgot." He closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

"Ed, are you alright?" Roy asked quicly noticing the strain on the boy's face.

"Don't worry," the nurse nterrupted. "He's fine. The smoke just weakened his lungs, that's all."

Roy nodded and directed his gaze back to Ed, who stared up at him with eyes that were dull and glazed over. "Roy...I wanna...leave."

"Soon, Ed." Roy stroked Ed's hair. "Soon."

Ed frowned before turning his gaze to the ceiling. There was a blank look on his face as he stared. It was like he was either in deep thought or in no thought at all.

Just then, Ed's doctor, Dr. Colbert, walked into the room, just as the nurse left. His gaze swept the scene, a frown on his face.

"I supose you want me to check on Ed," he said. When Roy nodded he continued, "Alrigth. But I don't think it was wise to expose him to so much smoke all at once." His frowned deepened. "You should have known better, Mustang."

"The fire wasn't my fault," Roy retorted. "And I was the one who got him out. Everyone was pretty much gone when I grabbed Ed." He looked painfully over at Ed who breathed heavily in the bed as he fought with the air.

The doctor walked over and placed a hand on Ed's chest. "Easy now. Just tae deep slow breaths. It'll help."

Ed obeyed and did as the doctor told him. His breathing evened out slightly but still remained ragged. With a sharp outake of breath, the doctor pressed the oxygen mask back over Ed's face and turned the oxygen back on.

"I don't know why the nurse even turned it off. Sorry, Ed." He pat Ed's head gently as if he was trying to break the tenstion in the room. But the tension in the room as already as thick as bricks, so he was going to have a tough time breaking through it.

Now that the oxygen was on, Ed's breathing evened out significantly, and the look on the young boy's face went from pained to calm in a matter of seconds.

"Now that's better, huh," the doctor said, a small smile appearing on his face.

Then he turned back to Roy, his expression serious. "I was planning to run a few tests on Edward today, but." he pointed to Ed's still form. "I don't think that's very likely today. He's been through too much.

"We'll re-schedule for another day. I think Edwad should get some rest. He'll be released once I'm satisfied with his breathing." Ending at that, Dr. Colbert took a seat in the chair closest to Ed's face in order to properly monitor his condition.

Around two hours later, Dr. Colber had agreed to allow Ed to go home, but under strict instructions.

 _He can't over work himself mentally or physcially._

 _He can't walk long distances or run in general._

 _Make sure the air is clean._

 _Keep windows open._

 _Keep away from any kind of smoke._

And those were only the major ones. There so many more that Roy had accidentally forgotten. When Roy walked out of the hospital, Ed was on his back, half conscious. Hawkeye was waiting outside with her car. It was running and exhaust was coming out the back. Roy clamped his hand over Ed's mouth and nose until the boy was in the car, safe from the smoke.

The boy was lying flat in the back seat, eyes closing. Roy got into the passengers seat and Hawkeye started driving.

"Good afternoon, Ed," she greeted cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Been better," he mumbled, coughing weakly.

"What did the doctor say?" Hawkeye asked Roy. She was talking as if Ed wasn't there.

"He said he'll be fine." Roy glanced at Edward for a second. "Said Ed inhaled too much smoke and it weakened his lungs. He got better after being put on oxygen, but he'll be weak for few days or weeks. It depends. The doctor figured at least a week, considering Ed's condtion."

Hawkeye nodded sympathetically as she drove, never once removing her gaze from the road. The drive lasted about tenish minutes before Hawkeye pulled into the driveway of Roy's house. The Colonel got out and grabbed the limp, sleeping body of Ed out of the back seat. The boy's head fell limply against his chest, snoring slightly. Roy thanked Hawkeye for the ride before walking up to his door and inside.

Once inside, Roy placed Ed gently onto the couch and knelt on the ground beside him, a frown on his face. There was still a bit of soot on his face and clothes. Roy used his sleeve to wipe the black smudged off Ed's pale face. At that his frown deepened.

He made a mental note to tell Ed to bathe later, before rising to his feet and pulling a thin blanket overtop the small child.

Ed immediately, without hesitation, unconsiously grabbed onto the blanket. Seeing that Roy couldn't help but smile.

Suddenly, Ed's eyes flew open and he coughed violently into his hand. Roy immediately knelt down beside him and pat his back while he coughed. Ed, who was sitting up and leaning agaisnt Roy, suddenly gave a heartwretching sob before his head shot down. Roy continued to pat his back gently as the boy coughed without a moments pause to get his breath back.

In a mater of seconds, Ed's breathing had gone from calm and even to raggen and heavy. Trembling hands gripped the front of Roy's shirt from where he was being held.

"Ed, it's alright," Roy whispered, calmly. "Just take deep breaths. Deep breaths."

So Ed listened. He took in deeper breaths and after several minutes, found that his coughing, as well as erratic breathing, weren't as bad as before. Afterwards, he sank into Roy's chest, exhausted and breathing hard.

Roy wiped away the sweat that had gathered on Ed's face with the sleeve of his military uniform and rocked Ed gently. The boy looked up at Roy with large, golden eyes for a minute before his head fell down once more. Roy pat Ed's head gently before he got the kid back onto he couch with a blanket wraped around him.

Even though he was still conscious, Ed was barely manageing to stay swake. He kept drifting off for a few seconds at a time before snapping back to reality. Roy eventually had to talk to him until he fell asleep for good.

Afterwads, Roy tucked the blanket tighter around Ed and lifted the boy's head up a few inches so he could slide a pillow under it. Ed's head hit the pillow with a thump muffled by the softness of the cushion.

"Sleep well, Ed," Roy whispered, brushing the boy's bangs from his face.

* * *

Ed sat at the dining table, watching as Roy dialed number after number.

He was searching for Al and trying to find out where he would be. So far he's found nothing. Ed, resting his head against the polished oak, let out a yawn and buried his face in his arms.

"Damn it!" Roy threw the phone back onto the reciever. He must have been mad, searching for an hour only to come up with nothing. Ed knew better than anyone how he felt. "Not one peron has seen him."

Suddenly Ed perked up. "D-didn't he say he was going to the North?" Ed asked. His voice still sounded weak when he talked, so he tried not to most of the time. But since he just remembered some valuable information, he couldn't just keep his mouth shut. He tried to ignore the raspiness in his voice.

Roy's eyes widened. "Thank's Ed. I'll send a team out there to look around." He turned to his phone, dialed a nimber, and began talking quickly.

Ed didn't listen to anything that was being said, and instead, turned his gaze to the far wall, where a clock slowly ticked on. _12:30_ it read. Judging by the shadows in the backyard he could see through the window, it was around noon. Not twelve in the morning.

"Edward." Roy sat down cross from him, having finished whatever he needed to do on the phone. "You don't have to come if you're not up to it, but I have to go to the North becasue, like you said, Al might be there. You can come if you want. If you don't, I'll get Gracia and Hughes to watch you."

Ed shook his head. "No, I'll come. Who else will be comin'?"

Roy thought for a brief second before telling him the names. "Hawkeye and Havoc. I did tell Breda to come, but he said he'd rather not go running all over the country. So just the three of us."

Ed nodded. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. I don't know how long we'll be, so I'll pack your bags." Roy rose to his feet. "I'll do that right now. Do you think you're fine walking to the couch by yourself?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Ed insisted. "Just go get packing and stop worrying about me."

With a nod and a look saying something like, _You'd better not be lying to me_ , Roy walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Once the Colonel's footsteps had reducednothing but an echo on the floor above, Ed got out of his seat and slowly made his way to the living room.

His footsteps were shaky as he walked, and several times he nearly fell down. Luckily he caught himself or Roy would have stressed himself silly. It took roughly two minutes, but Ed finally made it to his destination. He flopped onto the cough and sprawled out on the cushions, content with his achievement.

Someone was shaking him. Ed's eyes shot open and he sat up with a surprised gasp.

"Hey, easy now," an amused voice chuckled as he was pushed back down into the couch. "You're going to give yourself whiplash if you sit up that quickly."

"What...what time is it?" Ed mumbled.

"Around two, why?"

Ed groaned. "Damn it." He pushed himself up, a frown on his face. How could he have fallen asleep? And for several hours, too.

"Ed, someone's here to see you," Roy told him softly, pointing over tot he other side of the room, where someone leaned up against the wall.

The person smiled and waved his hand. "Hey, Edo, hows it going?" Hughes asked.

"Hughes?" Ed mumbled. "When?"

"Around an hour ago," Roy replied quickly. "He said he wasn't leaving until he got a chance to talk to you."

Ed looked over in Hughes' direction and watched him walk forward. He stood beside Roy.

"I heard you were caught up in that fire," he began. "I'm glad you're alright."

Ed nodded, embarrassed.

"You were the only one who had to go to the hospital," Hughes continued. "Everyone else was safe from harm. You should have see the face of the guy who started it. He was horrified that he hospitalized a child. Horrified. He apologized to Hawkeye for an hour."

Ed tried to laugh, but ended up coughing instead. Roy immediately rushed to Ed's side, but the boy pushed him away.

"I'm fine," he snapped. "Just fine."

"Alright. I just wanted to make sure." Roy looked so...hurt. Hurt because Ed pushed him away.

"Sorry," Ed mumbled. "It's just..."

"Don't worry about it." Roy ruffled his hair, a smile replacing his former sadness. "I understand."

"Oh, and Ed." Hughes searched his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "I was told to give this to you. The guy who started the fire wrote it."

Ed took the crumpled piece of paper in his hands and smothed it out. He began to read.

 _'I'm so sorry for sending you to the hosital. I had no idea that my carelessness would cause that much of a fire. I'm so sorry. I'll pay your hospital fee and anything else. I'm so sorry. Be as mad at me as you want. I'm so sorry._

 _\- Sergent Ryan Thomas'_

Ed crumpled the paper and threw it as hard as he could. Since he still had a lack of strength, the crumpled piece of paper only went about a foot before it fell. He was aiming for the far wall.

"Like I'm going to listen to that crap," he muttered, fallling back onto the couch and turning his back on Roy and Hughes. "That bastard."

A few seconds later the front door clicked closed and Roy sat beside him one the one spot on the couch that wasn't taken. "Are you alright, Ed?"

"What do you think?" Ed coughed. "Do you know how many tmes I've been to the hosital recently. And now I feel even worse than before. It gets hard to breathe if I move too much. I hate it."

Roy pat Ed's head. "Do you still want to go tomorrow?"

"Of course," Ed said, frowning. "I just want Al again."

Roy rose to his feet, leaving the spot on the couch vacant. "Alright. How about you get some more sleep. It'll be a long day tomorrow."

Ed shrugged, but even then, felt his eyelids falling. He knew he'd soon fall asleep, so he closed his eyes and found that he had fallen asleep surprisingly quickly. It was no more than a minute after Roy pulled the blanket over him that he passed out on the couch.

* * *

Tomorrow rolled around, and Ed was sitting in the back seat of Roy's car, head resting against the cool glass of the window. Roy had woken him up early in the morning so they could catch the train. The sun wasn't even up yet. Ed had hoped to cach a few more hours of sleep but Roy made him have a shower before he left, which wasn't very fun.

He slipped on the floor and fell down, hitting his head against the side of the sink, which was the reason for the white bandage that wrapped around his forehead and the dull stinging from here his skin was scraped away. Luckily he didn't hit his head hard enough to get a concussion.

He had ate a breakfast of eggs and after that he went to the car. They were on their way to pick up Hawkeye and Havoc, who were coming alone. They grabebd Havoc first, who grabbed the front seat before anyone. Hawkeye willingly sat in the back, becoming a human pillow for Ed.

The rode to the train station in silence. Havoc thankfully didn't reek of cigarette smoke, and Ed was just barely awake. It was hard to believe, but humans made for great pillows. He snuggled closer to Hawkeye, closing his eyes. Maybe he could just fall asleep for a few minutes. No, he couldn't. The last time he did that he slept the entire day away. No more sleeping. But it was so hard.

He did manage to stay awake, but only because the car kept giving great lurches. Roy shouldn't have been driving when he was tired. By the time they made it to the train station, Ed was wide awake and planned on staying that way. After the many, many times he thought Roy was going to drive off the road, he wasn't going to risk sleeping.

When they got to the trian station, Roy bought the tickets while Hawkeye carried Ed to a seat and Havoc gathered their luggage out of the trunk. Ed sat on the bench, leaning against Hawkeye, smothered in the coat Roy had brought for him.

It was very cold outside. Too cold. Ed shivered and felt Hawkeye wrap her arms around him. When Roy walked over, Hawkeye asked him when the train was coming.

"About ten minutes," he replied, sitting down beside Ed and forcing the boy's hood over his golden hair. "You're too cold, Ed."

"I-I know," Ed mumbled into his coat. It was then that Roy took off his own coat and wrapped it tightly around Ed. "But aren't you going to get cold?"

"I'll be fine," Roy told him. "You need it more than I do. The train'll be here soon. It will be warmer once we get on."

Ed didn't entirely believe Roy. How could he not be cold in this weather? But maybe he was this cold because he was sick and was cold even before he even got outside. Whatever the case, he pushed closer to Hawkeye to steal any warmth he could, while burying his face in the thickness of the coat.

In no time at all, a steam whistle sounded, but it didn't so much as faze Ed. He just stayed where he was, still, resting against Hawkeye, warm for the first time since he left the house in the morning.

He was lifted up by Roy, who carried him onto the train. The four of them grabbed the best seats they could find and, being far from the entrance, were less crowded. There were only a few other people on board, and most – if not all – were sitting in the front, closest to the door.

Ed was set down beside Hawkeye, who wrapped her arm around him. Roy and Havoc sat together fighting immaturely over who was going to get the seat closer to the window. Hawkeye ended the argument with a glare, but it lasted just long enough to allow Ed a good laugh. However, his laughter ended in coughing, so he had to suffer because he was enjoying himself.

Once Ed's coughing died down, he stripped off the thickest of the coats, but kept the thinner one on. Then he reached into his bag and pulled out an Alchemy book, which he proceeded to read after curling up, using Hawkeye as a pillow once again.

He read for who knows how long, but soon found himself losing grip on the leather bound book. It fell, slowly, onto his chest, where it lay as his eyes slid shut and he found himself asleep.

* * *

"I think he's asleep," Hawkeye announced, picking up Ed's fallen Alchemy book and setting it aside. The boy, sleeping with his head in Hawkeye's lap, had a small train of drool running fron his opened mouth and down his chin. Hawkeye wiped it away, laughing lightly to herself as she shifted Ed so he was in a more comfortable looking position. Suddenly, a small hand gently squeezed Hawkeye's, and Hawkeye squeezed back gently.

Ed mumbled something in his sleep before becoming still and quiet once more.

* * *

 **A/N...And that's chapter twenty! I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to: DamnenTheDiamond, Brenne, Attackoneverything, lexiconextreme, HappyTheDragon18, Guest, Akarri, BigChillFreak, Edo, and PinkFox99 for reviewing. Thank you!**

 **If any of you noticed any spelling mistakes this chapter, could you please let me know so I can fix them. I still don't have any sort of spell check.**

 **Well, 'till next chapter. I'll try to update soon.**


	21. Chapter 21

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 21_**

" _North City. Arriving in North City."_

The echoing, booming voice woke Ed up suddenly. The boy's eyes shot open and he couldn't supress the small gasp that escaped from him. His foggy mind wasn't fully processing everything and the sudden loud voice scared him out of his skin.

It took him several moments to realize that it was only the speaker on the train.

So they finally got there,

Now that he was there, he had his doubts about wanting to stay.

Somewhere in this town was his bastard of a father.

And soon he'll have to come face-to-face with him. And that was something he didn't want to do.

But Al was also here, somewhere. And he needed Al.

Hawkeye gently tried to rouse him, obviously oblivious to the fact that he was already awake.

"Edward, we have to get off the train. Come on."

She helped him to his feet and led him down the aisle, in wake of Roy and Havoc, and straight off the train.

Ed was shocked at how cold the air was. The wind hit him with such a force that all the breath was momentarily lost from his lung. Within a moment, he had begun shivering, longing for the warmth of the train. Soon they would find a hotel and he would be warm. Soon.

He trailed behind the three soldiers, feet scraping the ground, and hood pulled far over his head. Hawkeye just so happened to glance back, and, after seeing the state Ed was in, stopped, allowing for the half frozen boy to catch up.

"Colonel, I think we need to find a hotel quickly," Hawkeye told him. "I think Ed's getting too cold."

Roy glanced back, worried. "Maybe you're right. Lieutenant, carry him for a bit. He could use a break."

Hawkeye allowed Ed to get onto her back and she carried him in the trail of Roy and Havoc. Ed was thankful that he didn't have to continue walking through that snow. It was too deep for his short legs.

Human contact was so warm. Ed felt himself pressing closer to Hawkeye in his vain attempts to gather as much of her body heat as he could. He was so cold that he couldn't stop shaking. And the thick coat he wore wasn't at all helping all. He was still freezing. The damn coat betrayed him!

By the time the four of them finally reached the hotel, Edward was pretty much wiped out. He had insisted on walking for the last part of it, much to the disapproval of everyone, and had soon regret the decision.

The hotel, to put it bluntly, looked fairly nice. The lobby, where they currently were, was finly decorated with leather chairs and couches that made the perimeter of a fireplace. Ed had collapsed onto one of them, closest to the fire, while the adults were busy renting a room.

He breathed out a content sigh, closing his eyes. It felt so nice, and the couch was so comfy. The heat that radiated from the fire warmed his, no doubt pale face, and gave him some feeling in his toes. It was so nice, until he was lifted from the couch.

"Hey, what gives?" Ed demanded, to to get free.

"We bought a room," came the reply. "We're heading there."

Ed slumped in the arms of his carrier, losing the fight to break free. Like there was even a chance of it. He was still weak from both the sickness and the fire that he was barely able to stand up. The only reason he was able to walk to the hotel room was because he willed himself not to pass out and pinched himself every time he nearly did it. It wouldn't be a surprise if his thigh was bruising. He pinched really hard.

When they made it into the hotel room, Roy set Ed on the ground and steadied him before allowing him to walk on his own.

The room, if he were to go easy on it, was far from what Ed expected it to be. The lobby raised Ed's expectations to what the room would look like, but now that he saw it, he wondered just how much Roy paid for this room

There were only two beds, pushed against the far wall. A night table sat between them, and on the opposite wall, stood an oak dresser with a missing bottom drawer. And that was just the furniture.

The wall paper was peeling, there were water stains on the roof, the only window was broken, and the carpet was stained with what Ed hoped was only dirt. Not to mention the moldy stench in the room that made Ed feel even more sick than he already was.

He didn't even want to see the bathroom. A shiver passed down his spine just at the thought of what it would look like.

"Aren't there other rooms we can stay at?" Ed asked.

"This is the only one available," Roy explained. "No wonder it was so cheap."

"There's only two beds and four of us," Havoc pointed out. "There's no room. Unless we sleep in pairs." The smoker glanced at Hawkeye as if he was going to be sleeping with her.

"Don't even think about it," Roy, obviously noticing the look in Havoc's eyes, said, "If anyone sleeps with the Lieutenant, it's going to be Edward. It'll be less awkward since he's only a child. Unlike you, who's a grown man."

There was a disappointed look on Havocs face after being told that. Hawkeye interrupted the conversation. "I'm fine sleeping with Ed, if that's alright with you." She looked at Ed.

"Y-yeah, that's alrright. At least it's better than sleeing with Havooc." No one could pay him to sleep with that smoker.

"Alright, now that it's settled," Roy announced, "I'll go buy some food. I'm starving. Havoc, you're coming."

He headed for the door, Havoc trailing miserably behind him. The door closed, leaving Ed and Hawkeye were alone. The lieutenant turned to Ed, who was staring at the door, longing for Roy to be back. A hand landed on his shoulder, startling him enough to stumble back, trip over his bag, and fall to the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to startle you," Hawkeye apoligized, kneeling down beside the fallen boy.

Ed groaned and clutched his head, which had hit the ground pretty hard when he fell. Hawkeye tentatively shook his shoulder, recieving a groan in return. "Ahh, damn it," he growled through clentched teeth. "You damn floor."

"Are you alright?" Hawkeye carefully helped him sit up by putting one arm under his back and moving him into a sitting position.

"The floor's too hard," Ed muttered, leaing against Hawkeye. "My head hurts." One hand still remained in place, holding onto his sore head. He swore his hand brused against a bump, desite hitting the floor only seconds before. "Damn."

He felt Hawkeye brushing his hair away from where his hand was. He saw a frown forming on her face. She ran her hand across the floor, her frown deepening as she did so. "I'm going to carry you to the bed, alright?"

Ed nodded just as Hawkeye picked him up and layed him across the lumpy mattrress. At least the pillow was somewhat comfortabe. He saw Hawkeye grabbing a few things out of her bag before forcing Ed to roll onto his sde. She pushed something against the back of his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked, voice mumbled.

"Your head's bleeding."

"Bleeding?" Ed whispered slowly. "How?"

"You must have scraped it against something when you fell," Hawkeye explained. "There were traces of blood on the wall. So I'm guessing you scraped it against that. But don't worry. It's nothing bad."

Ed nodded for a second before allowing his head to sink into the pillow. The spot where he figured the wound was stung for a minute before it faded. When Hawkeye was done cleaning the wound out, she bound it with a bandage that wraped around Ed's head and undid the boy's ponytail.

"It'll be better to keep your hair down for a little while. The hair shouldn't be pulling at the head for bit." She put the elastic ont he table beside the bed. "Try not to sleep for a bit. Havoc, of all people, has more medical knowledge than me and Roy. When he gets back I'll get him to look at you. Alright?"

Ed grew puzzled. "How does Havoc have more medical knowledge than you? I thought he was dumb."

Hawkeye laughed and pat Ed's shoudler lightly. "That's a good question. Why don't you ask him when he gets back?"

Ed nodded. "Alright."

So the two of them sat there. Ed in the bed and Hawkeye watching him intently from where she sat at the edge. The wait was roughly ten miutes before Havoc and Roy returned.

"Hey, Ed, Hawkeye," Havoc announced, waving his hand.

"Havoc, could you come here?" Hawkeye said immediately.

Listening to the lietenant, Havoc walked over to Hawkeye, who pointed down at Ed. "Edward hit his head while you two were out. Can you make sure he's alright?"

"Uh, sure."

Ed was forced ot sit up in the bed while Havoc looked him over. He spent a while looking at the shallow wound on the back of E'ds head.

"How did this happen?"

"He fell," Hawkeye replied. "I think his head scraped against the wall. There was a bit of blood on it."

"Edward, are you dizzy at all?" Havoc asked, concerned.

Ed shook his head truthfully. He was actually becoming quite nervous. He always got a bit nervous when he hit his head. When he was younger he got a bad concussion after falling out of the tree and was unconscious for a solid day. Some people thought he was going to die or go into a coma, but it turned out to be false when he woke up in one of the patient beds in Granny Pinako's house with a killer headache and swimming vision.

"You'll be fine," Havoc explained. "You're only bleeding because the wall's rough and your head scraed against it. Just try to get some rest. Does your head hurt at all?'

Ed nodded, admitting to his pain. "Yeah, it hurts."

"Just get some rest." Havoc pushed Ed down into the bed. "I'm pretty sure that your headache will be gone when you wake up."

Ed listened to the smoker and lied down in the bed, curling up to get into a more comfortable position. Within seconds, he found hismelf asleep.

* * *

Ed sat in the bed, leaning against the backboard, watching Roy pace the length of the room over and over again. Hawkeye tried to talk him into sitting down, but each time he refused, saying that he couldn't sit until he found them.

He was talking about Al. Roy spent the entire morning looking for Al and Hohenheim, only to come back empty handed. Ed could tell how mad and disappointed he was. He probably felt like he failed Ed when he came back without any thing. Not even a single lead to where they might be.

But it didn't bother Ed as much as he had thought it would. He knew Al was out there and they just had to find him. Somewhere.

Ed rose to his feet and made his way across the room, swaying slightly, until he sat by the broken window. And then he saw it.

A glint of gold. A flash of silver. Ed's eyes widened and he felt his heart pounding in his chest. "Al. I-I can't believe it. Al."

Roy ran over and looked where Ed was staring. Sure enough, trudging through the snow, was Van Hohenheim and Alphonse Elric.

Without a moments hesitation, ignoring his illness, headache, and breathing, Ed dashed for the door, never throwing on a coat, and down the hall. He could hear Roy and the others chasing after him, calling out his name, telling him to stop, but he wouldn't listen.

He had to get to Al.

He reached the lobby, dashed past the couches, and burst outside, into the harsh wind and below freezing temperatures. He had to get to Al. Nothing mattered more to him. Not his health, not Roy, nothing. Everything would be great once he got to Al. He was almost there. He could see the glint of steel in the white backdrop.

"Al!" He called as loud as he can, ignoring his screaming lungs. "Alphonse!"

Al turned and looked in Ed's direction just as Roy caught up to the boy and stopped him from running.

"Edward, you're not suppose to be running," Roy reminded him sternly.

"But Al," Ed protested, successfully squirming out of Roy's grasp. He took off running again, coughing every few seconds. But he made it to Al, and he lept at his younger brother. "Al, I missed you so much," he said.

"Brother?" Al asked, uncertain. "How did you get here."

"I've been looking for you," Ed told him. "I need you, Al, I need you."

Roy came in wake of Edward, kneeling down and pullin the boy away from the armor. "Let go of-"

A coughing fit overtook his speech and he doubled over, hand clutched his chest. Roy knelt on the ground, holding Ed close to his own chest. "Calm down, Ed. You're pushing yourself too hard."

"But...Al." Ed was barely able to say that without coughing. He slumped against Roy's chest, breathing hard. "He's...I...him." It felt like his chest was going to cave in. He frantically took in breaths.

"Brother?" Al said again.

"Edward?"

Up until then, Ed had forgotten all about Hohenheim. The young boy cracked open his eyes and glared at his 'father' in hatred.

"You took him," Ed growled. "You...took my...brother."

"I didn't take him. He willingly came with me." He waited a moment before continuing. "And I want you to come as well."

Ed stiffened. "No way...in hell...am I...goin' t-to...come with...you...bas'ard." He barely managed to say that this time. His voice was becoming fainter and his breathing was becoming more of a struggle.

Roy's grip on Ed tightened. He whispered something into Ed's ear before passing the boy to Havoc and stepping forward so he was staring straight into Hohenheims eyes. Ed watched the entire scene play out through half closed eyes.

First, Roy and Hohenheim stared the other down before they began talking. The voices were too far away for Ed to make out. The talking very quickly escalated into Roy yelling, and before a fight broke out, Al rushed over and stood between them.

"Al," Ed gasped weakly.

His brother clanked over. "What is it, brother?"

"Please come back with me. I can't...you have...to...ple...ase," Ed begged pathetically, his breathing harsh.

Al reached out a hand and held Ed's flesh hand gently. "I'm sorry, brother, but dad needs my help. And since you refuse to help him, he wants my help instead. I'm sorry, brother, but I have to go." He stood up, pulling away from Ed.

The sick Alchemist tightened his grip on Al's large hand but his futile attempts never worked. Al's finger slid out of Ed's grasp and he turned, clanking away after his father.

"Al! Wait!" Ed shouted after his brother. "You can't go! You can't! I need you! Al! Alphonse! Al!" He pushed himself away from Havoc and tried to run after him but only made it a few meters before crumbling to the ground, his legs too weak to support his weight. "Al. P-please don't go. Please," he whimpered into the snow that surrounded him. "Please."

* * *

It was truly a sad secne. Watching Ed's desperate attempts to get his brother. And now the boy lay in the snow, crying weakly and barely breathing. His shouts still echoed around the town. His shouts as he called back his brother who just started walking away. He begged him to come back. He begged.

And now...

No one knew how this was going to effect Ed, but they all knew it wasn't going to be good.

Roy approached Ed, who remained in the snow, and gently lifted him up, removing his own coat to wrap it around Ed's small, freezing body. The boy whimpered as he was carried, away from Al, back towards the hotel.

His breathing really worried Roy. It was nothing but gasps between the constant coughing. He barely got a chance to breathe. The four of them made it to the hotel and back into their small room. Ed remained conscious, but Roy wondered if it was a good thing. Yeah, he could monitor Ed's breathing better when he was awake, but he was way too stressed. Roy could hear Ed's heat hammering his chest and feel just how tightly the boy griped the front of Roy's shirt despite his lack of physcial strength.

Roy set Ed down in the bed and wrapped him in blankets. He ran his hand across the top of Ed's head, frowning. Ed shivered, pressing hismelf against Roy. Silent tears continued to stream down his ashen face, never looking like they would let up. Roy tried to calm Ed down but nothing he said or did worked. Ed looked miserable. Even more than that. He couldn't think of a word to describe how Ed looked, let alone felt.

He sighed and continued running his hand across Ed's forehead. "Lieutenant," he began, never once looking up from Ed. "We're catching the first train out of this damned town. It'll be the best thing to do."

"Yes, sir." Hawkeye managed a salute. "I'll go get ready."

"And I'll join her," Havoc piped up.

The two lieutenants gathered up all their things while Roy laid Ed in the bed, frowning as he watched the boy's chest rise and fall heavily with each ragged breath he took in. "I'm so sorry, Ed. I shouldn't have brought you along. I'm so sorry."

He bit his lower lip and forced himself to turn away from the expression of pure pain masking Ed's face. He clentched his hand and swore under his breath. "Damn it. Why am I so useless even when it's not raining?"

A warm hand on his shoudler distracted him. "Don't blame yourself, sir," Hawkeye said softly to him. "It was bound to happen at some point. We'll get Alphonse back another time. Just concentrate on Edward for now. He needs your support now more than ever." Hawkeye sat beside him. "Did you know that, when you were in the hospital, Edward called you 'dad'?"

Roy nodded. "He's called me that before." He tried a forced laugh that ended up coming out stiff. "Lieutenant, why do you think he calls me 'dad' when I'm not even his own father?"

"Maybe it's because he thinks of you as his dad. He might have a father, but you're his dad." What she said might not have made sense to most people, but it did with him. He knew what Ed was feeling. The feeling of hating your father. He hated his as well. Except, in Ed's case, he had someone who supported him, unlike Roy, who was alone the entire time. Suffering by himself. Never having someone to talk to. He vowed to be there for Ed, whenever the kid may need it. And now was the perfect time. Stressed out and scared, abandoned by his brother, Ed was nothing but a broken child at this point.

Roy reached out and caressed the side of Ed's head, frowning. "Maybe you're right." He glanced at his pocket watch. "We should get going, I don't want to miss the train. There's bound to be one arriving soon"

While Havoc and Hawkeye finished gathering their things, Roy dressed Ed in a thick coat and lifted him into his arms, pulling the hood far over the boy's head. Ed didn't so much as stir as he was carried out of the room and out of the lobby.

Hawkeye and Havoc trailed behind, lugging the bagage, while Roy was busy with his bundle known as Ed. The boy hadn't once made any attempts to wake up, or any signs that he was going to. It didn't bother Roy so much yet than he would be once they got to Central.

Ed needed his rest. He went through a lot. He just neded to sleep. He'd wake up when he was redy. Roy hugged Ed closer to his chest. "Oh, Ed," he whispered. "Why did this have to happen to you?"

* * *

The train ride had been quiet. The stress hanging in the air was thick enough to cut with a sword. Ed only stirred once during the ride, but he fell back into a deep slumber seconds later, never opening his eyes. Now that they were back home, alone, and Ed was in bed, Roy couldn't help but feel himself growing unusually weak. What was wrong with him?

Before he knew it, he had fallen to his knees with a tear rolling down his face. _Damn it. I have to stay strong for Ed. Don't cry, damn it._ He did stop crying. Only that one tear was shed.

He knew why he started crying.

He felt like a faliure.

He failed to get Al back for Ed.

He failed to keep Ed safe.

He began to cry because he knew, deep down, that he should have forced Ed to stay in Central.

 _I'm a bastard just like Ed always says_ , Roy thought, finally realizing the truth. He sighed and rose back to his feet, taking a seat in the chair he kept beside E'ds bed.

"I'll get Al back for you; I promise." Roy extended his arm and brushed a few stray strands of hair out of Ed's face.

Ed stirred slightly, as if he heard Roy, but fell back into his deep, unbroken, sleep, his face finally looking peaceful. Roy looked down. "Just a little longer, Ed. You can believe I'll get him back for you."

Ed didn't respond again this time, so Roy rose to his feet and walked downstairs.

* * *

He woke up enveloped in a warm fuzziness that made him want to snuggle into it and stay there forever, but the only reason he didn't was the feeling in his gut. It felt like his stomach was twisting in two, around and around and around again

He blinked open his eyes in a sudden burst of panic. It took him a moment to get use to the darkness, but once he did he realized he was in Roy's room. Alone.

Where was Roy? Did he abandon him to? No. He wouldn't do soemthing like that. He wouldn't abandon him. He wasn't like-

Ed chocked back tears. Al. How could he have forgotten. Al turning away fom him, ignoring him as he deserately called him back. Begging him to come back. But he never turned. Never even saying good bye.

He had to find Roy.

He scrambled out of bed and, ignoring how weak he felt and how sick he was,stumbled across the room. He just barely managed to make it down the stairs without falling. Barely. When he got to the living room, he could hear talking.

Two distinct voices talking to the other. Ed leaned against a wall, out of sight, and tuned into the conversation.

"-yes, he's been unconscious since yesterday. A few times I thought he was going to wake up, but he fell right back asleep." That voice definitely belonged to Roy. There was no doubt about it.

"Alright. Could I still check on him. It doesn't matter if he's unconscious or conscious." That voice. Ed found it harder to place on who it was, but it sounded familiar. He was positive it was male, except if it was a women with an unusually deep voice, which he couldn't recall ever hearing.

"He's right this way."

Footsteps grew closer and Ed tried to hide so they didn't see him, but he tripped over his own feet and toppled to the ground. And damn, the fall hurt. He sat up quickly ignoring the pain in his flesh ankle, and tried to rise back up.

But he was already caught.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing down here?"

Roy rushed forward and came to a sliding stop, kneeling beside Ed, looking him over for injury. "You should have stayed in bed."

Ed pressed his head against Roy's shoulder. "But I was scared. I didn't want to be alone."

Roy pat his back. "You weren't alone. I've been by your side since leaving North City."

"You have?" Ed asked in disbelief.

"Yep." Roy gave him a kind smile. "Now, let's get you back to bed." He lifted Ed off the floor, giving the boy a view of the other person in the room.

It was Dr. Colbert. He was carrying a bag at his side and silently watched the scene play out before him. Ed wonderd why he was there, but his question was answered after Roy set Ed down in the bed upstairs.

Dr. Colbert walked forward and stood beside Roy next the bed. "Hey there, Ed. How have you been lately?" He asked kindly.

Ed, who was lying in the bed, rolled over and refused to answer. He didn't want to talk to any stupid doctors. He only wanted Roy.

"Alright then. How about, how are you feeling?"

Ed pulled the blanket over his head, gritting his teeth.

"He's a bit stressed, please don't get offended," Roy apologized.

"I'm not at all offended," Dr. Colbert reassured. "I just wanted to talk to Ed for a bit. So, Ed, is it nice under there?"

Ed was getting fed up with the damn questions. He pulled the covers off his head and screwed his eyes shut tight. He only wanted Ry with him and no one else. No doctors, no Hawkeye, no Havoc, no one.

"Edward," Roy said sternly. "Answer Dr. Colbert now. He came all the way here to help you and you're not going wasting his time."

Ed was surprised by the hash tone in Roy's voice. He decided that he didn't want to make him any angrier and answered every question he was asked truthfully

"How are you feeling?"

"Sick."

"How have you been lately?"

"Terrible."

"I heard you went to the North. How was that?"

Ed froze, his reply delayed. The North. Al. Al didn't want him. Al would rather be with his bastard father. He wasn't ever going to see Al again. He felt himself panicking once again, thinking about what had happened. He barely heard Roy calling out his name. He didn't even know he had been crying until he suddenly found himself in the warm embrace of Roy.

"Shh, it's alright. Just relax. Everything's alright." Ed sank into him. Into the warm words that seemingly to wrap around him. After several minutes, Ed finally calmed down enoug to understand what was going on. The doctor started asking questions again, but these were mainly directed at Roy.

Ed remained silent unless he was asked a question, but even then he usually replied with a nod or shake of his head. He didn't talk much. He didnt want to talk at all.

The doctor soon began to examine Ed. Checking his hearbeat, breathing, and temperature. He also looked at the wound on Ed's head, which was lightly cacked with dried blood. He cleaned it out with the supplies in his bag and reapplied a bandage right after disinfecting it. Ed didn't even flinch, let alone process, the stinging in the back of his head or the burning pain as the doctor lightly prodded the wound. He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts, stiff, leaning against Roy.

Afterwards, the doctor packed up his supplies, yet he didn't go. He gave Ed a soft, sympathetic look before he said something to him, which he had to repeat many times before Ed was able to understand that he was saying.

"Edward, everything's going to be alright. You're healing well, and you're showing so much improvement with your illness. I'm surprised. Soon we'll take you off your medication."

Ed just nodded and leaned closer to Roy. The doctor handed Roy a small bottle of pills.

"In case Ed has another panic attack. Give him one of these and it'll calm him down. I don't normally hand these out, but Ed's body can't yet handle this much stress," the doctor explained. "You can give him one now if you want. It'll make him pretty dazed, though" He ruffled Ed's hair playfully and headed for the door. "I'd best be leaving. Bye Ed, get well soon." With a smile, Dr. Colbert walked out of the room.

Ed waited until the front door closed before leaning even more into Roy. He tried to stop thinking about it. He really tried. But no matter what he did he couldn't forget how Al turned away from him, without even saying 'good bye.' he didn't now what he was going to do. Every time eh thought about it, it became harder to breathe and he couldn't move. He tried to stop, but the images just became more and more vivid.

And it was happening again. He tried to forget, but he couldn't. He panicked and clung to Roy's shirt, buring his face in the fabrib.c"Make it go away. Please," he begged pathetically.

Roy shook the pill bottle. "Take one of these, then doctor said they'll help."

"No more medicine. Please." He started shaking. "Please."

"Nothing's going to happen if you take it," Roy said gently. "It's just one. It won't hurt. If you take one, I'll take one as well."

Ed shook his eyes, eyes wide. "No, you can't take one. It's going to be bad if you do."

"Then why don't you just take one?" Roy suggested.

"Fine." Ed his hid head in Roy's shirt again.

"Great." A cup materialized in Roy's hand. To put more accuately, he picked it off the table beside the bed. He handed Ed a single white pill and the glass. Ed chugged the water, along with the pill, and slumped against Roy's chest.

"You'd better not by lyin' to me," He muttered.

"I'm not lying. Do you want to go down stairs or stay up here?"

"I want to be with you. Only you." Ed pushed himself closer to Roy. He could feel the effects of the pill taking effect. His limbs felt heavy and he felt an air of calmness surround him. He fell limp ad slumped into Roy's arms, eyelids falling down.

"Get some sleep," Roy suggested, moving Ed so he was in the bed. He tucked him in. "I'll stay right here. I promise."

Ed held Roy's hand so he couldn't get away, but as unconsciousness overtook him, he lost his grip on the older mans hand. His hand falling limp and hitting the mattress, his mind slowly shutting down.

A few seconds later he was in another land. Surrounded by darkness. Longing only for the warmth Roy granted him.

* * *

 **A/N...So there's chapter 21. Thank you Sky-Girl1999, Brenne, Akarri, DamenTheDiamond, I Had A Dream, Attackoneverything, AnimeFreakShips, f . tastarossa, and Guest for reviewing last chapter. Thank you!**

 _ **(I Had A Dream: Since you're a guest I couldn't tell you, but I wanted to say that I'll never abandon this story. It's my most popular one so far, and I just love writing it. So don't worry.)**_

 **If any of you noticed any spelling errors please tell me so I can fix them. Please.**

 **Also, just something random, do any of you know of any good anime to watch. I just finished Seraph of the End and am currently looking for something new to watch. If you know of any good anime, can you review or send a PM to tell me. I'd really appreciate it.**


	22. Chapter 22

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 22_**

Roy sat silently on the couch in his living room, deep in thought. Earlier on, Hawkeye had called him to tell him that HQ was re-opening tomorrow, having been vacant except for a few people since the fire. Roy usually would have been glad to get out of his house, but he wasn't too sure this time. He knew Ed had to rest, and taking him to the office might not be the greatest of ideas. But he couldn't skip any more days of work because his paycheck was already small enough. He could always leave Ed with Gracia or something, but the boy just seemed lost when he was with any one else, and taking into consideration how he's been acting lately, Roy didn't think leaving Ed with someone else was the brightest of ideas. So he was down to his last choice, and that meant he had to bring Ed with him, no matter how much he was against that idea.

He sighed and leaned back in the armchair, thinking about anything else he could do. Nothing came to mind. So Ed was going to have to come to HQ tomorrow when Roy had to go to work. The boy could sleep all day, and they could keep their office door locked, and even if he did have another one of those 'panic attacks' as Dr. Colbert had called it, Roy had that small bottle of pills to give him, so it could work out.

Ed was probably going to sleep the entire day away so he wouldn't know whether he was in his bed or on the office couch. If he did wake up, Roy would be there, and Hawkeye, to. The boy seemed close enough to Hawkeye that she could calm him down after a nightmare.

Roy was going to do it. He'd just make sure the atmosphere was calm and the room was quiet. Then maybe he'd sleep through everything and have a peaceful sleep as well. He'd have to find out eventually, so why not tomorrow?

Suddenly he heard the stairs creaking and the sound of footsteps approaching him. Roy turned and saw Ed tiredly walking across the room, yawning and rubbing sleep from his eyes. Instead of heading to the couch where he normally lay, he walked straight to Roy and sat on the floor by his feet, half asleep, and rested his forehead against Roy's knees.

"Ed? Why are you sitting on the floor?" Roy asked as he lifted the yawning boy to his feet.

"I woke up an' you were gone," he yawned. "Got scared. Had to find you."

Roy frowned and hugged Ed. "There wasn't any reason to be scared. I was down here the entire time."

Ed leaned into him. "I jus' had to make sure."

Roy pulled away from Ed and guided him to the couch, where he forced him to sit. Ed, still yawning, curled up into a small ball on the cushions, and grabbed Roy's arm. Roy froze for a moment before patting Ed's shoudler, smiling.

"You're tired, aren't you?" He said, earning a small nod from the sleepy boy. "Why don't you get some more sleep?"

"Don't wanna," Ed mumbled. He held Roy's arm tighter, but his grip was still weak. Roy could easily pull away from Ed if he wanted, but he didn't. Ed mumbled something under his breath as he curled into a tighter ball, head tucked into his chest. Despite the young boy's protest aboout not wanting to sleep, he fell asleep surprisingly quickly. Withing seconds he was out cold, and Roy took that time to pull his arm away from the limp hand.

A smile reamined on the Colonel's face, having chased way the frown that he previously wore. He just couldn't, no matter what he tried, find a single word to descripe how innocent Ed looked while he slept. He could search through every dictionary and never find a word to describe it.

Ed just looked so innocent, like the young child he was. Roy wiped away the small trail of drool that ran down Ed's chin, and smiled softly. He ran his hand across Ed's forehead.

"Sleep well, Ed," he whispered softly, before rising up and walking across the room.

Even as Roy read the book in his hands, he kept an eye on Ed, in case the boy needed him or anything like that. He felt a sense of pride just knowing how he was able to understand Ed and help him as much as he did. He would help the boy with any problem he faced, with anything that didn't go his way, and any time he felt he needed any sort of help help. Roy will be there for Ed, through good and bad, for as long as he was needed. He smiled to himself – A soft smile – before turning back to the well worn pages in his book.

* * *

" _I hate you, brother!" Al screamed, punching Ed hard in the chest. "You did this to me! You made me like this! You're to bame!" He kickd Ed away. "I hate you! Never show your face around here again! I never want to see you again!"_

* * *

Ed jolted awake, eyes wide with panic, breathing hard and labored. Panicked, he searched the darkness of the room for Roy, only to find his presence wasn't there. He tried to get out of bed, but fell to the ground with a bang hard enough to shake the walls. He didn't get up after that, he stayed on the dusty floor, shaking.

Did Al really hate him? Did Al blame him for what happened? He didn't want to see him again. He really hated him. Al hated him!

Ed punched the ground hard, forcing himself to supress the tears that well up in his eyes. Al couldn't hate him. He couldn't. It just wasn't possible.

Ed soon found himself crying, alone, in the darkness of the room. He bit his lower lip, shaking his head and curling in on himself. No. Al wouldn't. He wasn't like that. Al loved him. Al didn't hate him. He couldn't.

But even as he thought that, told himself Al didn't hate him, he knew that he did. Ed knew that his little brother hated him for everything he did. Why wouldn't he? Ed pounded the ground again with his flesh hand, splitting the skin on his knuckles in the process.

It couldn't be true. It couldn't. He tried to tell himself, over and over again, that it wasn't true. But it didn't work. He felt sick to his stomach and he couldn't think straight, either. He tried to do something but failed each time. He tried to get up, to stand on his feet, but his legs wouldn't support his weight. He miserably fell back to the floor, hiding his face in his automail hand while the left bled out onto he floor.

A sudden wave of nasuea hit him, and he just barely managed to stop himself from throwing up on the floor.

Suddenly, someone burst into the room, scrambling in the dark. They made it over to Ed and shook his shoulder.

"Ed. Edward?"

Realizing who the voice belonged to, Ed somehow managed to jump at them, burying his face in their shirt. His bloody hand left streaks of crimson on the fabric, but he didn't care. He held tightly to Roy, never letting go.

"Ed, what happened?" Roy asked gently.

"Al...he...he hated me" Ed shouted. He coughed. "He hates me!"

"You know that he doesn't hate you," Roy whispered. "He loves you."

"But he b-blames me for...for what happened," Ed sobbed. "H-he...he hates me."

Roy hugged Ed closer to his chest. "He doesn't hate you, Ed. You were having a bad dream."

"B-but-"

"Just listen to me," Roy told him softly. "Al doesn't hate you, nor does he blame you for what happened. You were just having a dream. It's not true."

Ed wiped his eyes with his flesh hand, leaving a smudge of blood on his face. Roy noticed and helped Ed to his feet.

"Let's go to the bathroom and clean your hand, alright?"

Without even waiting for Ed's reply, he guided the miserable Ed down the hall and into the bathroom. While he cleaned the wound, Ed stared off into space, eyes glazed over. He leaned against the wall and shut his eyes.

"Roy?"

Roy momentarily stopped bandaging Ed's hand. "What is it, Ed?"

"Am I ever...going to see Al again?" He asked sadly. He scratched at the bathroom tiles with his automail hand, never looking up, avoiding any and all forms of eye contact.

"Yes, you will." Roy continued to wrap the bandage around Ed's hand. "I'm planning on sending someone out to the North to get him back for you. I'll stay here with you when that happens, though."

Ed nodded, closing his eyes. "I hope you get him back. I want him now. I need my little brother." He hung his head. "I need him." A tear hit the tiles. "I want Al."

Roy, finished tending to Ed's hand, wiped the smeared blood off Ed's face before hugging him gently. "I know you want Al. And you'll get him soon. Just be patient. Please, Ed.

Ed nodded and buried his face in Roy's shoulder. "I'll try to be patient. But I've never been good at sitting still. It might be hard to wait."

"Then I'll get him even soner," Roy vowed.

Ed believed what he said. He really did. He believed that Roy was going to get Al back for him and that he'd finally be able to se his little brother again. _Soon_ , he though. _I'll be with Al soon._

* * *

"Let's get you back to bed," Roy told him softly. "You should get some more rest."

He helped Ed off the bathroom floor and guided the boy back to his bed. Once tucked in, Roy made to leave but Ed grabbbed onto his shirt, stopping the older man in his tracks.

"D-don't go," he begged. "I don't wanna be alone."

Roy stared at him for a few seconds before giving into the boy's pleading eyes. Ed made extra room for Roy in the bed, and once hte Colonel was lying down. He pushed himself closer, tucking his head into Roy's warm chest.

Roy put his arm around Ed and got comfortable, Ed remaining curled up close to his chest.

"Good night, Ed," he whispered.

"You too," he mumbled under his breath.

He felt the serene tendrils of warmth wrapping around him, enveloping him in Roy's warmth. Soon, after some time, he found hismelf falling into the darkness of sleep, know that if he had any more nightmares, Roy was there to help him after. Thinking about that, Ed found himself slowly falling into the depths of unconsciousness, a fistful of Roy's shirt in his hands.

* * *

The early morning rays of the sun slinked into the room, bathing the walls in a pale yellow glow. That light, though dull, was enough to wake Ed up, who had a moment of panic when he couldn't find Roy. Figuring that he was doenstairs, Ed got out of bed and stumbled over to the door. Ed had to find Roy.

He soon foud the Colonel in the kitchen, stuffing some papers into a bag. Ed watched him in a curious silence until Roy noticed him and he walked further into the kitchen. "Good morning, Ed. Did you sleep well?"

"More or less," Ed muttered, taking a seat at the dining table. He continued to watch Roy gathering things before he asked, "Roy, are you goin' somewhere?"

"Work," Roy replied without looking up from packing. "The damage to HQ that was done by the fire has been fixed. I'm supppose to go to work today. Oh, and you're coming."

"Is there...is there going to be anther fire?" Ed asked fearfully, eyes wide.

Roy glanced over and shook his head. "I highly doubt it. Someone's going to make sure that all of the trash cans are free of gunpowder. No one knows how gunpowder, of all things, got in one in the first place."

"Wh-what are you going to do if you find out who put the gunpowder in the trash cans?" Ed asked nervously, fiddling with a screw on his automail.

"Depends who did it, I guess," Roy said, continuing to throw papers in his bag. "If they did it by accident, I'd probably just tell them off, but if they did it on purpous, then they won't get off so easy."

Ed gulped. "What if...uh...what if, for exampple, me and Al put the gunpowder in the trash can?"

Roy eyed him suspisciously. "Are you saying that you're the one who did it?"

Ed repeatedly shook his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I mean. Just, what _if_ one, or both of us did it?" He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"So you _did_ do it," Roy questioned.

Ed's heart pounded on his chest. He hung his head. "I'm sorry, Colonel. We transmuted it, but disposed of it in that waste bin. We didn't realize that they don't empty them."

Roy sighed as he walked across the room and put his hands firmly on Ed's shoulders. "I would have been mad at you if someone else besides you got hurt. But since your own experiment got you hospitalized, I'll let it go. And I won't tell anyone. Just learn for next time and don't dispose Gunpowder in the waste bins. Do it in the river instead. It'll be hard to light when it's drenched."

Ed managed a small chuckle. "Alright. Oh, did you throw Havoc's gunpowder in the river? Or did you throw it in the garbage?"

Roy froze, his face paling considerably. "Do you want to take a short trip to the river after work? I have some, uh, buissiness to take care of down there."

Ed laughed at what Roy said. This time it was a true laugh. "I'd love to go to the river. I wonder what kind of buissness you have down there."

"Don't get started," Roy warned. He glanced at the clock. "We'd better get going. We're behind schedule already."

Ed silently trailed behind Roy as he walked out of the house.

* * *

When they got to Central HQ, Ed couldn't help but remember the feeling of choking on smoke. He rememebred the sensation he felt as he hacked the smoke from his lungs, and the pain and fear he felt when the paramedic took him from Roy. He felt the color draining from his face and he unconsciously walked closer to Mustang as they made their way through the halls. Ed imagined the thick tendrils of black smoke curling in the air, suffocating him.

"Ed, hey. Edward."

A loud snap close to his ear broke into his thoughts, and he flinched away, expecting a pillar of fire and smoke to envelope him. But nothing came. Realizing that he had squeezed his eyes closed, Ed hesitantly opened them.

Roy was in front of him, eye level to him.

"Ed, what's wrong?" He asked.

Ed immediately, without hesitation, wrapped his arms around Roy's waist and buried his head in his chest. "No more fire. No more."

"Ed? Oh..."

Roy began to guide the terrified Ed to his office, his hand firmlly on Ed's shoulder since he refused to open his eyes in case he saw a fire. He didn't want to feel like he was choking on air again, or to be taken from Roy. He didn't want to go to the hospital again. He couldn't.

When he finally made it into Roy's office, he sat down ont he couch, his gaze passing frantically around the office in case of any smoke or lapping flames. After reassuring himself that there was indeed, no fire, he let out a sigh and leaned back in the couch, his stress diminishing. After several minutes, his breathing evened out enough for him to properly think.

He saw everyone in the office staring at him, making him feel vulnerable. His gaze passed over each of them in turn, stopping momentarily on Roy, before sweeping back. A second later they all returned to their work, and Ed curled up on the couch so his back was to everyone, and closed his eyes.

He just wanted to sleep. He didn't want anyone staring at him. He wanted everything to go away. Spon enough, his wish was granted when everything slowly grew distant and he found himself in a deep slumber. If only it would last.

* * *

A small noise distracted Roy from his paperwork. He looked up and found Ed tossing and turning on the couch, his hand griping the blanket Hawkeye had laied over top of him. The boy suddely rolled straight off the couch and onto the floor. Ignoring his work, Roy dashed over just as Ed woke up with a gasp.

Roy reached out a hand to shake Ed and the boy suddenly grabbed onto his arm, squeezing it so hard Roy thought it might break.

"Edward?" he began, but Ed lunged at Roy, knocking him over and clinging onto the older man as if his life depended on it. "Ed?"

"You said he didn't hate me, but he does!" Ed nearly shouted. "He hates me. My brother hates me!"

"Ed, Al doesn't hate you," Roy reassurred him softly. "You were just having a dream."

"How do you now it was a dream?" Ed demanded, his voice shaking like an earthquake.

"Because Al's not here," Roy told him. "He still loves you. Please believe me."

"I need Al," Ed whimpered "I need him."

Roy turned around and motioned at Hawkeye to grab him his bag. The lieutenant walked forward and handed Roy his leather bag, which was immediately ripped open. Roy pulled out the small botle of pills and a bottle of water. He handed a pill to Ed. The boy only glared at it and clamped his mouth closed.

So he was going to be stubborn. Roy forced the pill into Ed's mouth and managed to get a good mouthful of water in there as well. But Ed still wouldn't sallow it.

Plan B.

Roy pushed his hand over Ed's mouth and plugged the boy's nose. Ed tried to pry him off but failed. His face turned red with the effore of holding his breath before he swallowed the pill reluctantly.

"You monster," he muttered. "Forcing me to take that stuff. You really are evil."

And just like the doctor had said, the pill took effect very quickly. About a minute passed since Ed swallowed the pill, and he already looked significantly calmer. The boy slumped against Roy's chest and muttered something about 'evil Colonel's.'

Roy lifted the boy off the ground and set him gently down onto the couch. Roy, having read the list of what the pill did, knew that Ed was going to be like this for a while. Barely aware of what was going on, half conscious, and drowsy. He remained conscious, but was limp against the side of the couch, eyes half opened. Roy wrapped a blanekt around Ed before heading to his desk.

"Hawkeye, keep an eye on him," Roy ordered.

Hawkeye saluted. "Yes sir." She gathered her things up and sat down on the couch beside Ed, doing her work there instead of the table where Roy's other subordinates remained.

By the time Hawkeye got there, Ed had already fallen asleep, resting against the side of the couch, looking peaceful.

* * *

Ed really hated that pill. Sure, it chased away his moment of panic, but he would end up just getting another nightmare. And he did. After the pill wore off he had yet another nightmare about Al hating him. But this time Al actually killed him. He killed him out of cold blood.

Ed's reaction to the nightmare wasn't as bad as most, but it did bring him to tears. His reaction wasn't as great as usual, probably because he was so shaken up he couldn't form words. He just stared off into space as Roy peered into his eyes and Hawkeye tried to bring him back down to earth by shaking his shoulder lightly.

Soon enough, he became a bit more aware and managed to speak with words that were at least partially coherent.

"'M sorry, Roy. I'm sorry."

His voice was chocked up with sobs. He leaned forward,closing his eyes. He felt a shamful blanket wrap around him consciousness, suffocating his fears and guilts. He could feel everything he's held back since arriving at Roy's shouse, the guilt of making him so do much, rising back up to the surface. He couldn't stop it now. It was becoming to much. He somehow managed to hold his feelings back, but they promised to return another doy. That day would come soon. When he least expected it, the feelings would resurface and he'd suffocate under the pressure of the knit together quilt of pain.

When he bent forward, his head landed ont Roy's shoulder, but he paid no heed to that, or the fact that Roy and Hawkeye were doing everything they could to calm him down.

He was too scared to realize that they wanted to help him as much as they could, even if they couldn't do anything. Time and time again, Ed had seen the parental side of both Hawkeye and Roy come up to the surface as the two of them cared for him, either alone or together. He had eventually thought of them as his second parents.

Roy was like the dad he never got the privilege to have. Roy cared about Ed and would do everything in his power to keep him safe. Ed had seen him do it many times before, even if neither of them realized it.

And Hawkeye, she was like the mother he had lost so long ago, soft and kind. Her words touching and gentle. The way she was there when he found out Roy was in the hospital, comforting him on the ride there. Talking softly to him to make the experience easier for him to handle. And that time he had a nightmare when Roy was gone, she was the only one there to calm him, and he found himself conforted in her embrace. Her sweet scent, like honey, surrounded him whenever she were to hug him or hold him when he needed the the warm contact of someone.

Both she and Roy were there for him. And maybe when Al comes back, he, too, would understand this warm air to the two soldiers that he, like Ed, hadn't noticed for so long. When Al got back, Ed will tell him what it's like to feel the warmth of a perent they never had and one they lost so long ago. He'd tell him just how nice it felt and convince Al to stay with him forever, with Roy and Hawkeye.

Then Everything would be perfect. Once he had Al, everything will work out.

 _Soon_ , he told himself. _I'll be with Al soon_.

The next day, Roy took a day off work. One of the reasons was because he decided Ed was far too stressed out yesterday in the office. The second reason was because he though, since Ed was feeling better, he'd take the boy out somewhere. Somewhere calm. Central park was nice around this time. The trees were bare, but the branches almost seemed to glow in the sunlight. There was also a river there, and pleantly of wildlife. It was a calm, relaxing place and he was sure Ed would enjoy it.

He aslo planned on letting Ed sleep in, and so far it was nearly twelve and he had given no sign of waking. Roy went to check on him every twenty minutes of so, and each time he was in just as deep of a sleep as he was before.

Roy wasn't going to wake him. He knew that what the boy needed more than anything right now was sleep. Lately, the only sleep he got was forced on by some sort of medication, and if he did fall asleep naturally, he was haunted by nightmares.

So he let Ed sleep. The boy wasn't having any nightmares, he didn't have any medicine to take, so letting him sleep in was he best he could do for him. He'd get himself ready in the process.

To pass time, Roy walked around the house and shoved whatever he needed into a bag. Three bottles of water – one for himself and two for Ed. That was about it.

Passing the cupboard in the living room, Roy picked up the container of pills the doctor had given him, and eyed it painfully. He hated giving these to Ed. He looked like he hated taking them. Roy had to use force to get him to take a single one yesterday, and he felt terrible for doing that. Cutting off Ed's oxygen intake until he swallowed. It was just cruel.

He contemplated on whether or not he should take them with him or not. Then he thought about how the smallest thing could remind Ed of what Al said and stress him out to the point he nearly breaks. Deciding that it was for the best, Roy shoved the pills into his bag, but told himself that they were only a last resort. If Ed were to get stressed out, he'd first try to calm him down on his own and, if all else fails, he's give him a single pill and apologize to him later. He felt like a monster for doing it.

Deciding to check on Ed again, Roy made his way upstairs and found that Ed was surprisingly awake. The boy was leaning against the backboard of the bed, staring off into space. There was a faraway look in his eyes that were glazed over from the memories that were no doubt buzzing through his mind.

Roy snapped his fingers to get Ed's attention. This time it woked and Ed didn't flinch away in fear.

"What'd you want?" He asked tiredly.

"We're going to the park," Roy told him, digging through the spare drawer in Roy's dresser that he kept Ed's clothes in. He tossed the boy a clean outfit.

"Change into that," he instructed. "I'll meet you downstairs."

He turned and shut the door before Ed began to get changed. He didn't think the boy would appreciate Roy seeing him half naked when he was fully aware of the world and his surroundings. He wouldn't be as embarrassed if he had just thrown up and on the verge of unconsciousness, however.

Roy did just as he told Ed and waited downstairs for the boy to come down. He heard Ed long before he saw him. The uneven footsteps, heavy with sleep, hitting the stairs and then the floor. A second later, Ed apeared in the kitchen wearing the outfit Roy picked out for him.

He tried to stay true to Ed's preferred style, but he couldn't help but stray from it. Ed currently donned a long sleeved, grey shirt with darker sleeves, and navy blue, baggy pants. His coat was a nice shade of red, a little different fron his usual style. The flamel symbol that was commonly seen on the back of Ed's signature coat, was on this one as well. Except this time it was small and decorated the front of the coat, resting overtop of Ed's heart.

Roy smiled. "You look nice in that, you know."

"Yeah, yeah." Ed sat down in the chair.

 _Good to see his usual attitude his back_ , Roy thought.

"I'm guess you picked this outfit out?"

Roy nodded

"It's no surprise," Ed announced. "Your fashion choice is as terrible as ever." Ed pointed to his clothes. "But, I guess that is expected of you."

"Very funny, Ed. But, just so you know, your choice of clothing is a little odd," Roy said jokingly. Before Ed could start a speech, Roy got up and headed for the door. "Let's go the the park now, shall we."

Ed got out of his own chair and followed Roy out the door.

* * *

The park was beautiful. That was the only way to describe it. Ed was amazed at the scenery surrounding him. Never once had he been to this park, and now he knew what he was missing out on. The park was jsut beautiful. The sky was blue with only a few white puffs of clouds that were visible.

The air smelled of cut grass and reminded him of Resembool. The clean, crisp air he never thought he would smell in the city. He couldn't keep the smile off his face as he followed Roy down the well worn dirt trail marked down by the countless of people who have walked it.

He was just amazed.

A soft breeze tossed is hair around and caused himself to be blinded by his bangs. He angrily held his bangs back as the wind blew. He only let them go after the wind ceased and everything was still.

"Do you want to sit somewhere?" Roy asked.

"Sure." Ed shoved his hands deep in his pockets. He followed Roy to a small bench standing along the side of the path. The two sat down, Ed leaning against Roy, staring off into the bare branches of the surrounding trees.

He still couldn't believe how nice it was here. How could a such a tranquil spot like this be close to the heart of Central City. He'd expect something like this in East City, but there wasn't even a park this big. Just a mere three trees and dry grass. There was no gentle churning stream running through it like there was here; just a man made fountain that didn't even work.

It just couldn't be possible. He had to be dreaming.

"Do you like it here?" Roy asked.

Ed nodded. "It's really nice. I've never seen a park this beautiful before. It's nice." He leaned closer to Roy, closing his eyes and listening to the far off rushing water that reached his ears. It was so peaceful and relaxing, that he could doze off any minue. To make sure that didn't happen, he forced his eyes open and stared at the tangle of undergrowth.

Roy pat him on the head gently. Ed look up at Roy's smiling face and kind, dark eyes stared down at him. Ed grinned back before looking away and staring back at the winter scenery in front of him. He still couldn't imagine how nice the park was. It was just...he couldn't even think of a single word to describe it. He could try for hours, but never find just the right word.

"Do you want to see the river?" Roy asked.

Ed jumped to his feet in excitement. "Yes." However, he was still sick and that meant he was still weaker than most. He might be getting better, but he knew that he wasn't yet in top condition. He got the reminder when the ground came rushing up to meet his face.

"Oww," Ed moaned, pushing himself up from the ground. "Stupid ground." He punched the hard ground with his flesh hand. Pain shot through his hand, causing him to swear loudly.

"Ed, what happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt?" Roy hastily checked Ed for fever and examined his hand, bending each finger in turn. He then made sure Ed wasn't hurt anywhere else.

"I'm fine, Roy," Ed said impatiently, pushing Roy away. "I just got dizzy and fell. That's all."

"Are you sure" Roy continued to examine Ed closely. Ed managed to push him away before Roy checked to make sure his chest wasn't injured or scratched up.

"I'd rather have my shirt _on_ , thank you very much," Ed said angrily, pulling his shirt down.

"Edward," Roy tried, but Ed interrupted him mid-sentence.

"I already told you, I'm _fine_ ," Ed answered, frustrated. Roy's constant worrying really got on his nerves sometimes.

"Alright. If you get dizzy at all, tell me immediately. I don't want you passing out on me." Roy helped Ed to his feat and steadied him as he swayed slightly. "You're dizzy, aren't you." It wasn't a question.

"No. I'm fine," Ed lied stubbornly.

"Are you sure? Because, if you're feeling weak, we can go. We'll come back some other time."

"I already said I'm fine," Ed insisted, jumping once to prove that he was telling the truth; which he wasn't. He instantly regret doing it as a wave of nasuea and dizziness over took him. He managed, somehow, to stay upright. Roy stared at him before finally giving in.

"Fine. But if you show even _one_ sign that you're going to pass out, I'm taking you home." Roy gave him a hard look before leading Ed down the path and to the waters edge.

It was breath taking.

The dazzling, crystal water that gently wove its way between the banks that flanked either side of the river. Ed was lost for words.

"Wow," he breathed.

"It's nice, isn't it," Roy agreed. "But this if _nothing_ compared to what it looks like when it's snowing or in the summer."

"I'd like to see that," Ed said, blinking w the blurryness that was steadily gathering in the corners of his eyes. He shook his head to clear it. Nothing worked.

"Maybe sometime in the summer I can bring you here," Roy told him. The rest of what he said was a blur.

Ed's vision swam in his face, the colors mixing together to form a smudge of color. He staggered back, unable to keep his footing. His hand held him head as a killer headache appeared, pounding and searing. His vision was growing darker and darker. He could hear someone calling out his name but he couldn't make out what else they were saying. He felt himself falling. Falling forward. The ground no doubt rushing up to meet his face. Right when he hit the ground with a loud crash, he was unable to hear, see, or think.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 22. A big thanks to BigChillFreak, AKAnime, Cutiepie120048, Attackoneverything, DamenTheDiamond,, Lily, blurenity17, revolvingidentitty, I Had A Dream, lookin-for, Brenne, , AnimeFreakShips, Akarri, Guest, Cather Elric, and Rage0fPhoenix for reviewing last chapter. (sorry if I spelled any of your names wrong) Thank you for every anime suggest you gave me. I look forward to watching them. I'm currently wathing Assassination Classroom (finished season one yesterday) and I love it. I'm slowly working my way through the list.**

 **Like usual, If you noticed any spelling mistakes, please tell me so I can fix them.**

 **Also, sorry for being late with updating. Every time I decided to proof read this chapter, I got distracted. Very, very, very distracted.**


	23. Chapter 23

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 23_**

Roy shook Ed's shoulders. "Ed? Edward. Answer me, damn it!" He shouted.

He tried shaking him faster, but Ed's eyes remained closed, his face pale. Roy pressed his hand against the boy's forehead, pulling back almost instantly. He didn't know a forehead could get that hot in the winter.

"Damn it, Ed," Roy muttered, lifting Ed's limp body into his arms, bridal-style. Ed's head fell against his shoulder. Roy swore to himself as he walked away from the lake. Every twenty or so steps he took he made sure Ed was still breathing, before continuing on to his car.

When he got there, he removed Ed's coat so he didn't over heat. He did up the seatbelt and closed the door. Ed's chin fell against his neck and his head tipped to the side as Roy drove.

Arriving at his place, Roy gathered Ed back up in his arms and set him down on the couch so he was able to watch him easier without having to run upstairs. Noticing Ed's fever was worse Roy wet a cloth in freezing water and wiped Ed's face off with it before laying it across his forehead. He frowned to himself as he wet another cloth and used that to wipe the sweat of Ed's neck.

After a few minutes, he used a thermometer to check his temperature, and noticed that it was at a very high temperature. Higher than he's had before. That worried Roy. Getting up, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. Dialing a number, he pressed the phone against the ear, anxiously listening to the ringing.

 _Hello. Doctor Colbert speaking._

"Doctor, I need your help. This is Roy Mustang," Roy nearly shouted into the phone.

 _What do you need?_

"It's Ed," Roy told him, anxiously. "He's gotten worse. He has a really high fever that won't come down, and he passed out about half an hour ago."

 _Slow down. Just how high is his fever?_

"I don't know," Roy nearly shouted. "It just got really high really fast. There was a lot of red in the thermometer."

 _I think it'll be a good idea to bring him to the hospital. Do you think you can manage that?_

"Yes. I'm on my way." Roy hung up the phone and ran to get Ed. Once he had the fever striken boy in his arms, he ran out of the house to the car.

The ride to the hospital was quiet, minus the ragged breathing Ed had developed suddenly. The car was driving above the seed limit, but at that moment he couldn't' care less. He made it to the hspital in record time, and found Dr. Colbert already waiting for him.

"I'll glad you made it here so soon," he said. He glanced at Ed, who was in Roy's arms. His frown deepened. "I prepared a room for Edward. If you could follow me."

Dr. Colbert led Roy down the hall and into a small room. The doctor pointed to a bed against one wall and ordered Roy to put Ed down, which he did. Ed didn't even react to leaving Roy's grip like he usually did.

Nurse Marry was already there, leaning over Ed and taking his temerature. "Doctor, we have a problem."

Dr. Colbert walked over and looked at the thermometer that Marry showed to him. He swore under his breath. "Find a way to lower the fever."

Marry nodded and began feeble attempts to lower the fever. Dr. Colbert turned to Roy and began to ask questions.

"When did this happen?"

"About half an hour ago."

"What caused this?"

Royh had to think on this one. He honestly had no idea. "I'm sorry. It just sort of appeared. We were at the park for some fresh air when Ed suddenly passed out. His fever appeared after that."

"Was he overworking himself at the park?"

"No. We sat most of the time and only walked a bit."

"What was he wearing?"

"The same as he's wearing now, but he also had a coat on."

"Alright."

"Doctor," Marry interruted. "He's coming around."

The two men turned to find Ed slightly stirring in the bed. Dr. Colbert rushed forward just as Ed forced open his eyes and gazed blearily at the roof. He released a sharp exhale of breath before his breathing grew strained and heavy. The Doctor placed his hand on Ed's chest.

"Calm down," he urged gently.

"Where?" he croaked.

"You're at the hospital," Dr. Colbert answered softly. "You got here a few minutes ago. You're alright."

"I...I feel...sick," Ed rasped. His face paled considerably in the few seconds it took for him to roll over and vomit over the side of the bed. Dr. Colbert searched for some sort of medicine to help him, while Marry pat Eds' back and held most of his hair back. A few seconds later, the boy was doing nothing but dry heave.

"Are you done?" The nurse asked gently.

Ed nodded, spitting onto the ground to rid his mouth of the taste. Marry helped him get back into the bed properly before grabbing a cloth and wiping his face and the ends of his hair off. Ed eyes slid closed and he was unconscious by the time Dr. Colbert found what he was looking for.

The doctor placed the medicine off to the side as he checked Ed's breathing, which had grown very shallow and heavy. His frown deepened.

"Roy, could you wait outside for a minute?" Dr. Colbert asked, never removing his gaze from Ed.

"Alright. Please take good care of Ed." Then he left the room. Ed's pleas for him to stay never leaving the unconscious boy.

* * *

Ed wanted them to stop. They kept giving him medicine and he hated it. He hated the burning sensation of the needle entering his arm and the bitterness of the pills they gave him when he was aware enough to swallow them. He was conscious now, but too weak to hold himself up. He gazed lazily ahead, too tired ot move.

Marry sat beside the bed, monitoring his condition, while Dr. Colbert hovered over him, wastching his breathing closely and trying to bring down his fever. A hand brushed across his cheek and a voice murmured soft words to him. He tried to get away but found that he was too weak to even move his head.

A face appeared in front of him, staring at him with a mixture of seriousness and softness.

"Edward," Dr. Colbert said softly. "I want you to drink this before you get dehydrated." Ed shook his head. "If you don't drink this, I'll be forced to give you an IV." Ed froze and nodded slightly, agreeing to drink whatever he gave him. Dr. Colbert brought the rim of a glass up and pressed it against his lips, pouring a small amount of the cool liqud into his mouth. Ed swallowed, feeling the cold water stream down his throat. He drank a bit more before refusing the rest.

"No more," he pleaded. "Not...thirsty." His eyelids grew heavy and he struggled to remain conscious.

"Get some sleep," Dr. Colbert gently suggested. "You'll feel better when you wake up."

Ed never got a chance to reply. His eyelids slid shut and he slowly sank into unconsciousness. He never knew that there was medicine in the water.

* * *

"How is he?" Roya asked Dr. Colbert, who was checking on Ed, who slept soundly in the bed, his face flushed with fever.

"He's doing much better than when he first arrived," Dr. Colbert explained. "His fevers gone down significantly, though it's still there. He'll be fine to go home once his fever breaks completely." He pulled Ed's blanket down a bit. "He'll be on medication, though, so this doesn't happen again. He's be getting better but he's still very sick, no matter what he looks like."

"When do you think he'll be completely cured?" Roy asked.

Dr. Colbert shrugged. "It's hard to say. There are some people who suffered like this for years. Like Ed's mother, by what you told me about her. She had the disease for years and never told anyone. That's why she died. I'm positive Ed's no longer on deaths door like he was before, so he just has to fight off the rest of the disease. He's a strong kkid, so I don't think he'll be suffering for much longer."

"Do you know of anything I could do to help him when I'm home?" Roy asked. "I hate seeing him like this."

"Pleanty of rest and fluids" the doctor said. Fresh air would do him some good, but I wouln't suggest taking him to a park again. Opening a window will be fine."

Roy suddenly remembered something. "Ed's too scared to go to my office. Ever since the fire, he's been scared to go. I had to take a day off yesterday. I still have to go to work, but he can't and refuses to stay with anyone other than me or Hawkeye. And Hawkeye workes in my office as well."

"Just try to reassure him it's fine. But don't get ahead of yourself. He still has a long time to go before he should even leave your house." Dr. Colbert checked Ed's temperature for the third time that hour. "It's gone down a fair bit. Hopefuly it'll break by tonight." He extended his hand and shook Ed's arm.

"Ed, you hve to wake up now. Come on," he urged gently, shaing softly.

Ed groaned and blinked open his eyes, giving the Doctor a worn out look.

"You have to stay hydrated," the doctor told him softly. "I want you to drink some water."

"No more...medicine," Ed begged pathetically. "I wan' Roy."

"Roy's right over there." Dr. Colbert pointed at Roy. "You can see him _after_ drinking the water."

Ed nodded and once he was siting up, with the help of the doctor, Dr. Colbert lifted up a glass of water and pressed it against Ed's dry lips. The boy drank it slowly and soon drained the cup. Dr. Colbert smiled softly at Ed before pushing him back down into the bed.

"Get some more sleep. I'll wake you up in an hour or so," he told him gently.

Ed stared at him, bleary eyed, for a minute or so before his eyes slid closed and his breathing evened out into that of someone sleeping. The Doctor frowned and set the empty glass on the bedside table.

"Why are you going to wake him in an hour?" Roy asked, curious. He wondered why the doctor didn't just let Ed get some rest.

"I want him to drink something at least every hour," Dr. Colbert exlained. "It won't be any good if he gets dehydrated."

Roy nodded and watched Ed sleep soundly in the bed.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Ed woke up, gasping for air and breathing hard. He could feel the tears rolling down his face and dripping onto the sheets which were wet with his sweat. He coudln't. No, Al couldn't. He didn't. He was never coming back. Ed thought his heart was going to break from how hard it was beating in his chest. He couldn't breathe!

He was lying on his side, tightly gripping the mattress with both hands while he screwed his eyes shut and tried to forget about it.

The metal scraps lying scattered in the street. The blood seal shattered. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

He shook his head and bit his lower lip until it bled. He could taste the thick, metalic tang of the blood that ran ito his mouth and down his chin. He spat on the floor to rid his mouth of the iron taste.

He could hear a pair footsteps and voices talking in a hushed manner before both suddenly stopped and flurry of footsteps took over. Ed felt hands yanking him back into the bed. The light in the room was flicked on, blinding Ed, having not expected such a blinding brightness to envelope him.

"Edward, what happened?" A woman, probably the nurse, asked him. Her voice sounded kind, but Ed could tell she was panicking slightly.

Ed ended up choking on his words and only managed to shake his head before he remembered the rest of the dream. The blood. He was shaking so violently now that he wondered how strong of an earthquake he was causing.

"Edward, just breathe," a stern voice told him, reminding him of the one thing he had somehow forgotten to do. He sucked in a ragged breath but some of the blood in his mouth went down, too. He doubled over and coughed roughly, red droplets scattering and staining the white sheets. He felt sick.

After his coughing ceased, he was pulled back and found hismelf leaning against something warm. He felt someone wiping the blood off his chin and a light shining on it.

"Definitely going to need a few stitches." The light was flicked off and a gauze was pressed against his lower lip to stanch the bleeding. "Ed, why did you even bite your lip?"

Ed's eyes widened for a seconds before snapping closed again, head shaking back and forth. Tears ran down his face, having stopped once the doctor came into the room. The tears left hot trail on his no doubt pale face.

"Marry, call Roy and tell him to get down here immediately," the doctor ordered.

Ed was shifted and placed onto a pillow as the nurse disappeared out of the room. The doctor directed his full attention to Ed and wiped away a few of the tears.

"Ed, can you put your hand here for a second" The doctor instructed, guiding Ed's shand to the gauze on his lip. Ed held it weakly as the doctor looked around. Finally finding what he needed, Dr. Colbert walked back over to Ed and took the boy's hand off of the gauze.

Now that he wasn't dying from stress, Ed could finally feel the pain. He must have bitten his lip hard because there was a burning pain in his lower lip that hurt when the doctor pressed down against it.

He winced.

"You're the one who did this," the doctor reminded. He applied a fair bit of pressure to the burning wound before numbing it. Now Ed couldn't feel his lip at all. Ed kept his eyes tightly closed as the doctor stitched the cut. Only two stitches were used. Once that was over, the wound was disenfected.

By that time, there was another person in the room, sitting at Ed's bedside, gently holding Ed's hand.

Ed opened his eyes and found Roy staring at him. In a matter of seconds, Ed lunched hismef off the bed and at Roy, buring his face in the older mans shoudler. He sobbed without end.

Roy pat his back. "Ed, what happened?"

Ed couldn't find his words. He only cried harder. Roy rubbed Ed's back in an attempt to calm him down.

"Do you know what happened to him?" Roy asked the doctor in the room.

"No," Dr. Colbert replied. "He was like this when we came to check on him. He bit through his lower him completely."

Roy ran his hand through Ed's tangled mess of hair. "Ed, did you have another nightmare?"

This time, Ed nodded, burrying his head deeper into Roy's shoudler.

"Can you tell me what it was about?" Roy asked gently. "You don't have to. But it'll be easier to help you if you do."

"Al," Ed mumbled weakly. He stiffled his oncoming sobs. "He was k-killed. He...I...Help me." He grabbed onto the front of Roy's shirt, trying desperately to control his breathing. He failed and found himelf gasing for breath. He curled in on hismelf, breathing far too fast and panicking beause of it.

Roy held him gently, trying to clam him down, but it wasn't working. The doctor rushed over, staring closely at Ed and joining Roy in trying to calm the boy. He failed as well. Ed felt lightheaded and gripped Roy tighter.

"Ed, relax. Take deep breaths. Relax," Roy ordered softly. Ed did as he was told, and found himself calming down somewhat. He sank into Roy, able to breath and no longer about to pass out. "Ed, are you alright now?"

Ed leaned heavily against Roy's chest sitting quietly in his lap. The doctor looked him over and checked to make sure his stitches were still fine.

"His fever's coming back," Dr. Colbert explained. "I want to lower it before it get's worse."

Ed felt himself being taken away from Roy and he tried to hold tight to him. He failed and felt himself being lowered into the bed. He was beginning to panic again when a gentle squeeze on his hand alerted him. He turned to find Roy smiling at him.

"It's alright. I'm here. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

Knowing that Roy wasn't going to leave him, Ed allowed himself to sink into unconsciousness.

* * *

Roy sat by Ed's bedside for the rest of the evening, staring at the small child as he slept siletly, a blanket draped over his small body.

Roy was still mad at himself for not being there when Ed woke up from a nightmare. He shouldn't have left that evening to go home. And Ed had another nightmare and there was no one there for him. He mentally cursed himself for not being there with him.

Extending his arm forward, he brushed his hand against Ed's forehead, frowning. The sudden fever he got after the nightmare was gone now, his forehead as cool as ever. Dr. Colbert said that he'd probably be able to leave tomorrow if he thought Ed was strong enough to leave the hospital. The doctor was also going to give Roy a list of Ed's needs because he guessed that Ed was going to be physcially weak for a bit, as he wasn't fully recovered.

The nurse had left ten minutes before, and Roy had gotten permission to stay after visiting hours because of what happened earlier on that evening.

When morning finally came, Dr. Colbert came in to check on Ed, who remained fast asleep. "His fever's gone," he noted. "He seemes to be doing much better today. He'll be free to go when he wakes up." Doctor Colbert turned to look at Roy. "When he goes home, I want him straight in bed, no exceptions. If you don't, he'll probably get worse."

"I understand."

As the doctor left, Roy turned back to Ed, who remained unconscious, ignorant to the conversation. Roy let out a slow, soft sigh as he hung his head low.

Why did all of this have to be happening to Ed?

 _Why not me?_

* * *

Ed awoke early in the morning to find out that he was finally going to get out of there. He was ecstatic, don't get him wrong, but he wondered if it was a good idea to let him leave. He could feel his weakness, and he knew just how weak he was. Did anyone even realize that? Did anyone else see how he couldn't even pushed himself up, let alone get out of the bed? Did they just want to get rid of him?

He shook his head as Roy walked into the room, done with signing the release papers, and ready to take Ed home. He lifted Ed onto his back. Ed wrapped his arms loosely around Roy's neck and rested his head against his superiors shoulder.

He saw nurse Marry waving at him before Roy walked out of the hospital doors.

On the way home, Ed leaned against the car door, head against the window, and staring at the scenery that rushed past him. The tall buildings grew sparse and slowly turned into a quiet neighbourhood, where Roy pulled his car into the driveway of one of the housed.

The Colonel got out and opened Ed's door. "Come on, Ed. We're here." He bent down and shook Ed. "Hey, you with me?"

Ed gazed at Roy, tired. "C-can you help me. I don't think I can walk." He leaned his head against the back of the seat as Roy lifted Ed onto his back and headed for the door.

"Are you that tired?" Roy asked.

"No. It's just...I don't think I'm strong enough to walk. That's all," Ed admitted, talking into Roy's neck, voice muffled by the fabric of Roy's collared shirt.

"How come?"

Inside now, Roy set Ed onto the couch and sat beside him. Ed leaned against Roy, closing his eyes.

"It's been hard to sit up lately. Ever since I went to the hospital, I couldn't push myself up," Ed admitted weakly. "I can't even sit up now. I can't hold myself up. I'm scared, Roy." Ed's voice rose up in distress. He bured his head in Roy's arm. "Why is this even happening? Why did I have to get sick? Why, Roy, why? There's no reason for me to fight this anymore. It's too hard."

Roy pulled Ed away and stared directly into his eyes. Ed looked down but Roy grabed his chin and guided it up so Ed was forced to stare into Roy's eyes. "Don't dount yourself, Ed. You're strong. And you do have something to fight for. I don't want you to sucumb to the disease. I want to see you pull out and overcome this. I don't want to lose you, too."

Ed stared up into Roy's dark, yet kind, eyes and felt a sudden strength rush through him. Roy was right. He'd fight for him. Ed wrapped his arms around Roy and hugged him.

"Thank you, Roy," he whispered.

Roy began to stroke his hair. "No problem, kiddo."

Ed sank into Roy's warmth, no longer stressed and wondering what he was going to do. He finally had something to fight for, and he wanted to make them proud and stand on top, were he could stare down at them, smiling.

 _Thank you_ , Ed thought before he found himself slipping into sleep.

* * *

Afer Ed had fallen asleep, Roy carried the small boy upstairs where he laid him in the bed and wrapped him in blankets. The boy didn't so much as groan during the trip up the stairs or when he was set – or more accurately, almost dropped – into the bed. He remained unconscious, ignorant to the world.

Afterwards, Roy walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where he picked up his phone and dialed a number. It rang a few times before it was picked up by none other than Jean Havoc.

 _Hello?_

"Havoc," Roy said. "How's the search going?"

 _Not good. We went to the North and looked everywhere, only to find out that Hohenheim and Alphonse had left days ago. We don;' know where else to look._

Roy swore under his breath. "Look all over the country if you have to. You're no so much as sleeping until you've found them. Is that clear?"

 _Geeze, boss. Are you trying to work me to death or somethin'?_

"If that's what I have to do, then sure," Roy said into the phone, earning a sniker from Havoc.

 _Yeah, sure thing, boss. I'll find them. You can count on me._

"Don't even _think_ about coming back here empty handed. Understand?"

 _Alright, alright. I understand. I'm execting a decent pay from this._

"You get what you," Roy told him. "I don't have much money to give you though. Since I haven't been at work, my paychecks have been really small, and the price I'm paying for Ed's medication is outrageous. I'm barely getting by as it is."

 _Alright. I'm expecting a small pay then. But, don't tell chief what you just told me. He'll probably blame himself for everything._

"I know." Roy sighed. "He already does. Well, get back to work, 2ndLieutenant."

 _Yes sir!_

The two of them hung up in sync. Roy leaned against the cupboard, shifting his gaze to stare angrily at the clock ticking slowly away on the wall. _Hurry up, Havoc. We're running out of time._

He clenched his hand and grit his teeth, unable to think about anything beside the imense pain Ed must be feeling after being rejected by his brother. Being rejected because of a father he never knew. It must be killing him. Ruining him completely. No wonder he had a nightmare in the hospital.

Every time he looked at the stitched in Ed's lower lip, he got yet another reminder that he wasn't there for him. That he must have thought he was all alone. He must have been terrified. Roy punched the floor to release his building up anger with himself. Wasn't there anythig he could do to help Ed? He was useless now. Useless. He couldn't do anything to rid Ed of his illness. He couldn't even find a suit of armor.

He was useless.

And it wasn't even raining.

Ed was scared. He told Roy he was scared. He asked for help, yet Roy didn't know how to help in this situation. He didn't know how to rid Ed of the nightmares that haunted him or protect him from his fears. He couldn't do anything for Ed. The mighty Flame Alchemist, Colonel in the Amestrian military, was a faliure when he came to protecting those that he loved.

He hated it.

* * *

 **A/N...PLEASE READ! I'm plotting out a story that I plan to post sometime after I finish writing this one, but I'm unsure if anyone would read it. It's a FMA AU where, one evening Al is stabbed to death by a scarred man in his house and Ed survives but loses his left leg and right arm. he if found by Roy, who later adopts him. The story is about Roy trying to figure out how to live with a Ed who struggles to do even the most simple tasks since he's down two limps and his struggles to find the man who injured Ed (It's better than it sounds). It's a Parental!Royed fanfiction. I have most of it plotted figured out and I am beginning to write it (I've been stuck on one scene for days now). If you find this story interesting, mention it in your review. Also, if the story interests you, I can send a small part of the story by a PM.**

 **Anyway, I wasn't satisfied with this chapter in the slightest. I blame the writers block which has been torturing me for several days now and I haven't been able to write even a half decent damn sentence.**

 **Oh, and thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: BigChillFreak, Brenne, I Had A Dream, DamenTheDiamond, AnimeFreakShips, Guest, Attackoneverything, f . tastarossa, and Cather Elric for reviewing last chapter.**

 **One more thing (this AN it getting too long). I was just wondering if you guys think my writing is any good? I personally think I suck at writing, but I'd like to hear your guys' opinions. And how I can improve because I'm trying my hardest to get better at writing.**

 **Well, 'till next chapter!**


	24. Chapter 24

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 **Chapter 24**

It was around noon when Ed finally woke up. He wished that he was still sleeping because of the usual feeling of dread that enveloped him as it did every morning. He was alone when he first woke up, but that soon changed when Roy entered into the room, a surprised on his face when he saw that Ed was awake.

"Good afternoon, Ed," Roy greeted, smiling as he said it. "Did you sleep well?"

Ed nodded his head. Lying was something he's been doing a lot of lately, but he was actually telling the truth this time. He didn't wake up in a cold sweat like he usually did. And he wasn't stressed or panicked. He was pretty much calm, except for the feeling of dread that bound him tightly. He just couldn't shake it off. He ignored it, however, and proceeded to stare intently at Roy, who walked to the other side of the room, opened a window, and took a seat in the chair he had placed beside the bed so long ago. He smiled softly down at Ed.

"What's with the smile?" Ed asked, curious.

"Is there something wrong with it?" Roy asked innocently, giving Ed a fake, forced frown.

Ed looked away. "It's just...Everyone's kinda been smiling at me lately and I don't know why."

This time, Roy's frown was true and real. "That's because they all want you to get better."

"But when I went to HQ the other day, some random soldier smiled at me."

Roy reached forward and brushed Ed's bangs out of his face. "That's because most of the soldiers in HQ know about you. You did suffer the most from he fire. Everyone kept asking questions about you, so I had no choice but to tell them. Because of that, the Fuhrer who, up until a few days ago, thought you were neglecting your duties. But now that he knows the reason why you haven't been coming to work often he made an exception for you and said you could stay home until you were of top condition again. But, he says he wanted to have a meeting with you as soon as possible."

Ed nodded. "Alright."

"Do you want to get some more sleep, or do you want to come downstairs?"

"Downstairs. But-" Ed blushed. "Could you help me get down there? I don't think I'll be able to make it down the stairs without falling on my face."

"Alright." Roy bent down and allowed Ed on his back before heading for the door. Ed's head fell against Roy shoulder as the man made his way down the stairs. The rocking motion caused by walking was nauseating. He felt the color drain out of his face and he tried to steady his breathing.

He was not going to throw up. He wasn't. Roy set Ed down on the couch and the boy rolled onto his side without any hesitation, his arm falling off the side of the couch and hanging limply by his side. Roy lifted the arm back up and set it beside him on the couch.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked.

"I...feel sick," Ed mumbled, closing his eyes. "Stomach hates me." His hand drifted to his stomach, which was currently in the middle of twisting itself in two.

"Are you going to throw up?" Roy asked.

"No. I don't wanna. Not gonna do it." Ed released a slow breath gritting his teeth as his nausea got worse and worse.

Roy pat Ed's shoulder gently. "If you have to do it, then you have to do it. You'll feel better if you do it."

Ed released a ragged breath as he curled in on himself, grabbing Roy's hand and holding it close to his chest. "Don't go...Please."

"I'm just going to get a bucket," Roy said gently. "I'll be back in a few seconds, alright?"

Roy stayed true to his promise and returned seconds later with a bucket, which he placed onto the floor.

Ed tried his best to control, his breathing and stop himself from getting sick, he couldn't stop it. He could feel the disgusting bile rise up in his throat, causing him to gag slightly. A few seconds later, he found himself leaning over the side of the couch and vomiting into the bucket Roy had thankfully grabbed. Roy held back his hair as he threw up. His eyes remained tightly closed. There was a lump in his throat and the terrible stench that wafted up to him made him feel even worse.

In about a minute, Ed spat in the bucket, falling limp into the cushions, head on his flesh hand. His eyes were still closed. Roy disappeared for a few seconds, but returned before Ed even realized he was gone.

Roy wiped off Ed's face and the stickiness out of his hair, before moving the boy slowly in the couch so he was on his side. The Colonel draped a blanket over Ed and brushed the boy's bangs out of his face.

"Roy...It's cold," Ed complained, tugging at the thin blanket that had just recently been draped over him. Besides the blanket, the only thing he was wearing was a tee-shirt and baggy pants. He was really cold. He shivered.

"I'm sorry. I can't give you any more blankets," Roy said sadly, sitting down beside Ed and placing the boy's head into his lap. "You have a fever and I don't want it to get any worse. Sorry."

Ed gripped Roy's pant leg and grew tense. Roy pat his shoulder gently.

"Get some sleep," he suggested. "You look like you need it."

"No sleep. No more. No," Ed whimpered, gripping Roy's pant leg tighter. "No." He trembled. "No."

"Ed, calm down for a sec," Roy said gently. "Nothing's going to happen if you fall asleep. So please just do it."

"Fine...j-jus' don' leave," Ed begged, falling limp against Roy's leg, slipping slowly out of the world.

"Sleep well, Ed," Roy whispered.

* * *

Roy lifted up the report in his hand, giving it a hard look. Just yesterday, Havoc returned from his trek around Amestris to find Al. He didn't find him. He wrote down everything in the report, however, and Roy now believed he might know where Al might be.

 _I looked everywhere. Everywhere. But I couldn't find a single, damn clue to where Alphonse Elric is. I talked to many people, all of which said they either have never seen Al or Hoheheim, or that the two of the had left. Now that I've looked all over Amestris, I admit, I give the hell up._

On the bottom of the report was a message of colorful words Roy wasn't in the mood of repeating. He crumpled the paper and with a snap of his fingers, burned it to ash. Too late did he realize Ed was right beside him.

Despite being asleep, the boy had good hearing. He jolted awake, eyes wide, staring at the burning, curling piece of paper with terrified eyes. He scrambled to get away, falling off the bed in the process, and crashing to the ground.

Roy went down to lift him up, only to find the young boy clutching his head and groaning in pain. Roy lifted him gently and set him down in the bed, head in the pillow. He put out the flames and turned to Ed, who stared at the roof as if in some sort of daze.

"Edward, are you okay? I didn't know you would wake up." Roy tried to apologize while pulling the boy into a hug. "I'm sorry."

Ed coughed and Roy remembered something. The smoke from the burning paper. Ed couldn't breathe in smoke. Roy quickly threw open a window before pulling Ed back onto his lap. "Are you alright?"

"You tried to burn everything," Ed whispered, pushing his head against Roy's shoulder. "I would have been burned, too. Why, Roy, why?"

"Edward," Roy said gently, yet stern. "I was burning a piece of paper. I wasn't burning you, or the house, or anything else. I forgot that you were here. I'm sorry." he pulled Ed closer, holding the boy gently against his chest, feeling Ed's breathing slow and the trembling hand claiming a fistful of Roy's shirt.

Roy pulled Ed back into the bed and laid there with him, Ed pressed against Roy's chest, curled up, eyes closed. Roy listened to Ed's heart beating and each intake an outtake of breath. Ed pushed himself closer to Roy as the Colonel pulled a blanket over the small boy, who was nearly asleep.

"Get some sleep," Roy whispered, petting Ed's head. "I'll stay right here, Don't worry. I won't leave you." He told the truth. He wasn't going to leave Ed. He liked lying there with Ed. The boy pressed close to his chest. In a few minutes, Ed had fallen asleep.

And Roy didn't leave.

He remained in the bed, thinking, as he gently pat Ed shoulder gently. Then, like an electric shock, he thought of something. He knew where Al was.

Getting up carefully, trying not to disturb Ed, Roy headed downstairs and into the kitchen, where he picked up the phone and dialed a number. It rang a few times before someone picked it up. A familiar voice reached his ears.

 _Hello?_

"Lieutenant," Roy said into the phone, glad that she picked up. "I have an idea to where Al might be."

 _And where would that be, sir?_

"What if he's no longer in Amestris?" Roy told her, gathering his thoughts. "Maybe he went somewhere else. Maybe he's in Xing?"

 _Xing? Why would Hohenheim and Alphonse go to Xing?_

"That's what I was wondering," Roy explained." But the I realized something. Maybe they're in Xing to study the type of Alchemy they use. It's different than it is here. Maybe?"

 _What are you going to do about it, sir?_

"I'm going to Xing. I Have to find out."

 _What about Ed?_

Roy froze. He'd totally forgotten all about Ed. What was he going to do? It wasn't like Ed could come with him. But he wouldn't do well if he was staying with someone else. He was only fine with either Roy or Hawkeye, and the Roy needed Hawkeye if he went to Xing. What was he going to do?

 _Why don't you bring Ed with you?_ Hawkeye suggested. _He might not act the way he did last time._

Roy grit his teeth. "I guess I could do that."

 _When will you go?_

"Tonight. The train ride is several hours. If we go tonight, then we'll reach Xing by morning."

 _Alright. I'll come with you._

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Roy thanked.

 _Go get yourself ready. You can thank me after we find Al._

"Alright. Bye." Roy hung up the phone and walked upstairs to pack his bags. It was last minute, but he had the opportunity to do it, so he was. As he passed his room, he found Ed sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. He hoped that he wouldn't react the same way as he did in the north.

He sighed, forcing the thought away. He proceeded to pack his bags. When he finished with his own, he packed one for Ed, gathering everything he thought he might need. He brought that medicine the doctor gave him just in case something happened when they were there. Done packing, Roy glanced at the clock.

 _3:30_

 _We should leave in an hour_ , Roy thought, sitting on he couch. He must have dozed off a bit because he suddenly jolted awake to a knocking on his front door. He jumped to his feet and threw open the lock to find Hawkeye standing there.

"We should get going. The train's leaving in half an hour," Hawkeye told him. She eyed him. "I hope you finished packing."

"I'm done packing. I'll get Ed and we can go." He turned and ran upstairs.

In his room, he knelt beside the bed and gently roused Ed.

"Ed, hey. Wake up." He shook the boy gently. Ed groaned. Roy sighed a little as he lifted the limp boy into his arms and carried him down the stairs. Ed's head fell against his shoulder and his legs hung limp. He was very warm. Roy grabbed their coats from the hook by the door and then off they were.

On the way to the train station, Roy sat in the back with Ed, who had fallen back asleep before he had even reached the car. Ed's head rested in Roy's lap.

The two reached the train station just before the train departed. The jumped on board and took some seats in the back, away from the few other passengers.

Ed took up an entire seat for himself, spread out and relaxed. He was awake now, but just barely. He stared up at the roof, eyes clouded from sleep. Roy draped Ed's coat over the boys frail body and watched as Ed struggled to pull it further over him. Roy hadn't realized how weak he was.

"Lieutenant, do you think I made the right choice by bringing Ed with us?" Roy asked, feeling guilty from dragging the sick child along with them.

"Don't worry about it," Hawkeye reassured. "He's better off here. He would have been stressed if you left him with someone else."

"Maybe you're right," Roy said, half to himself. He reached forward and helped Ed in his struggles by carefully putting Ed's arms through the sleeves and zipped the coat up. The boy stopped struggling and fell down against the seat, staring bleary eyed at Roy.

"Get some rest, Ed," Roy said softly.

Ed shook his head. "Where are we goin'?"

"Xing," Roy replied. "I think Al might be there. Might."

 _Don't get his hopes up_ , he told himself.

"I miss him," Ed whispered, yawning. "I hope he's there."

"I hope so, too," Roy whispered, setting a hand on Ed's shoulder. "But if he's not there, please don't let it affect you. I promise we'll find him eventually. Please be patient. Please-"

A hand on his shoulder. "I think he's asleep," Hawkeye whispered.

Roy noticed that she was right. Ed was peacefully sleeping, deaf to what Roy was saying. The Colonel laughed lightly. "I guess I'll tell you later."

* * *

When the train finally arrived in Xing, it was early in the morning and the sun was barely up yet. Ed's feet scraped against the ground as he followed Roy and Hawkeye, who were loaded with their luggage.

Despite being early in the morning, it was damn hot out. Ed's coat wrapped around his shoulders, sleeves empty. Sweat was already running down his face and he found it difficult to walk in a straight line. He kept getting further and further from Roy and Hawkeye until he forced himself to run to catch up. His mouth was as dry as sandpaper and his vision spun.

He continued to scrape his feet against the ground before he found himself slowing into a stop, too tired to keep going. His vision spun and he fell sideways and hit the ground, making no sound from the impact or uttering a noise afterward.

In a few seconds, Ed heard the pounding of footsteps and suddenly Roy was there, shaking him. "Edward! Ed! Answer me, damn it," he nearly shouted.

Ed groaned, clutching his head, which had smacked against the ground. Hawkeye was there the next second. Ed gazed up at the sky, blinded by the harsh sunlight. He squeezed his eyes closed, refusing to open them no matter how much Roy asked him to. Eventually a hand moved to cover his eyes, preventing the sun from penetrating his eyelids and blinding him that way.

"R-Roy," Ed rasped. "M-my head hurts. I feel s-sick."

"Shh, I know." Ed felt himself being lifted up off the ground. "Just bear with me for a little bit. It's alright."

"I wan' Al," Ed whimpered.

Roy hugged Ed close to his chest. "I know, Ed. We'll find him. I promise."

"P-please hurry," Ed begged silently. His head hit Roy's shoulder as he silently passed out.

* * *

The three of them walked for the remainder of the day looking for the nearest Xing village or town.

"Just admit that we're lost," Hawkeye said impatiently.

"We're not lost," Roy insisted.

"Stubborn old man," Ed muttered from where he walked beside Hawkeye, recovered from passing out hours before.

Earlier, he had woken up in a blind panic before realizing that he had been in Roy's arms. He settled down after that, and about an hour later, insisted to be put down. He was walking close to Hawkeye, inches from her side. The boy let out a long yawn, walking a bit crooked and fell against Hawkeye, who, in turn, was knocked into Roy.

"Are you alright?" Hawkeye asked Ed, who rose shakily to his feet.

"I'm just tired," Ed mumbled, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Colonel." Hawkeye turned angrily to Roy. "Can you stop being so stubborn? Can't you see Ed's tired? We have to find somewhere to rest for the night."

"But-"

"Now." Hawkeye fixed Roy with a hard look.

Roy gulped and threw his hands into he air. "Alright, alright. You win. We'll find somewhere to sleep for the night. Until then, Lieutenant, carry Ed for a bit."

"I can walk on my own," Ed protested.

Roy just stared at him. "You look dead on your feet. I don't want you passing out on me again."

Before he was able to protest anymore, Hawkeye hefted the boy onto her back and followed Roy back the way they had come.

Now that night was setting in, Ed was really starting to feel the cold setting in. Earlier in the day, it was so hot he was surprised. But now, Ed found himself shivering and pressing against Hawkeye for warmth. He was so cold and the coat he was wearing wasn't helping one bit. He decided to stare at his surroundings to try and forget about the penetrating cold. A few minutes later, there was a loud crash and a voice that followed. That voice.

Ed's eyes widened and he peered into the gathering darkness and just barely able to make out the outline of-

"Al!" Ed pushed himself away from Hawkeye and ran forward. On his way there, he tripped over something and went sliding against the ground, scraping his skin in the process. He could smell blood.

"Damn it," he growled, pushing himself up and running again.

His target turned just as Ed jumped at him, knocking him over in a clang of metal and an exhale of breath as the wind was knocked out of the blond boy. Ed sat there, winded for a moment, before he stared straight up at Al in shock and disbelief.

"Alphonse. I missed you so much." He buried his face in Al's armor and hugged his tight enough to dent the metal. "I finally found you. I did it. I've found you." A tear of happiness fell down his face.

"Brother?" Al asked, uncertain. "How did you get here?"

Ed couldn't find the words to answer. He was just so happy that he was with Al that he couldn't contain the large smile that was spread out on his face or the tears of happiness that traced his face. Roy and Hawkeye made their way over, staring at the scene.

"You're here. I can't believe it. You're here." He clung to Alphonse tighter, never going to let go.

"Mr. Roy, Miss. Riza," Al greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"We were looking for you," Roy replied, pointing a finger at Ed. "He's really missed you."

Ed sank into Al's cool, steel armor, ignoring the fact that the metal made him even more cold than he already was. He was with Al now, and that was the only thing that mattered. He could feel himself shivering against the metal. He tried to listen to Roy and Al's conversation, but their voices were growing further away. He couldn't even hear them anymore. He couldn't hear a single sound as he slid fully into darkness, clinging to his younger brother as if his life depended on it. And, in a way, it did.

* * *

 **A/N...And there's chapter 24! I'm so sorry that this chapter's short, but I just though that this was the best place to stop. I have the next chapter already written but there's a lot I have to change about it, including what had been the end of his chapter. To make up for this chapter's shortness I'll make the next one a bit longer than my usual chapters. This chapter's probably shorted than Ed. I'm sorry.**

 **Anyway, thank you all of you so much for reviewing last chapter! I finally reached 200 reviews thank to all of you who reviewed. I just can't believe it! Thank you so much: BigChillFreak, AnotherObsessedTeen, cheeseries, Gust, Lily, DamenTheDiamond, I Had A Dream, Brenne, Akarri, AKAnime, Cutiepie120048, Sky-Girl1999, Guest, Attackoneverything, 1animegal, Leradomi, and darkraistlyn, inuyashamunkey, and Guest for reviewing. Thank you so much for 200 reviews. THANK YOU!**

 **If anyone noticed any spelling mistakes this chapter, please let me know so I can fix them!**

 **Well, that's about it. I'll post the next chapter in about seven days unless I procrastinate again. 'Till then! Once again, thank you everyone who's ever reviewed this story for 200 reviews!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N 1...Sorry this chapter isn't long. I was going to make it longer, but I had to cut it short if I wanted it posted any time soon. I'm still going to post a longer chapter, but just not yet.**

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 25_**

Ed woke up again feeling warm. He was lying on something soft, wrapped in a fluffy embrace. He could hear a conversation going on around him but he couldn't make out what was being said. He, instead, decided not to waste energy trying to figure out what was being said and focused on the soft warmth that surrounded him. It was so soft and fluffy. He would pay to lie there forever.

Then it dawned on him. Where was he? It wasn't warm outside, and neither Roy nor Hawkeye packed something this soft or fluffy. He began to squirm, trying to force his eyes open to take in his surroundings. But when he opened his eyes, he was greeted by darkness, which worried him.

"Edward, calm down."

Ed calmed down after figuring out who the voice belonged to.

"R-Roy," he croaked, reaching out with a trembling hand to find Roy. His hand made contace with flesh and tightened his fingers around the arm. He was pried off a seconds later and felt a hand giving his a light squeeze.

"I'm here, Ed," Roy said softly.

"W-where are we?" He asked weakly. His throat was so dry and he was so thirsty. He wanted water so badly.

"Open your eyes and you'll see."

Ed did as Roy told him and forced his eyes open to small slits. He could see again, but everythng was blurry. He blinked slowly a few times before his gaze came to rest on Roy.

Ed could tell that he was lying in a cot and wrapped in a blanket. He was freezing despite the warmth of the blanket.

He was in some sort of tent or a small house. There was a small table beside the cot that held a few pill bottles and a glass of water.

"Is he awake?" A voice asked from the other side of the room

"Yes. Do you want to see him?" Roy called.

"If he'll let me," the newcomer said.

Ed turned and saw the newcomer. A man he didn't ever want to see in his life. His breath caught in his throat and he made a sudden dash to get away. The boy knocked the cot over in the process and he fell to the ground, the cot landing on top of him, and his head smacking against the ground. He groaned, feeling like he was being squashed. He tried to push the cot off of him but his weakness wasn't helping. He couldn't even push it an inch. And his head was really starting to hurt. The damn floor.

"Ed!"

That was definitely Roy's voice, but Ed could vagley hear it above the pounding, searing pain in his head.

The weight of the cot suddenly vanished and Ed felt himself being flipped onto his back. Ed opened his eyes, realizing that they were closed, and found himself staring straight up into Roy's dark, kind eyes.

"Are you hurt?" He asked quickly.

Pain shot through Ed's head like a million daggers, causing him to groan, voicing his pain and discomfort. He screwed his eyes shut again, trying everything he could to get rid of the screaming pain in his head.

"Ed." Someone tried to shake him but he weakly swatted their hand away, curling in on himself, head cradled between his hands. He could hear panicked voices rising up around him. The only thing the voices did was add to the piling mountain of pain. He couldn't even think properly anymore. He wanted it to go away.

He felt another hand on him and he pushed it away his his hand before pressing it against his head again.

"Ed. Answer me, damn it." That was Roy.

Ed felt himself being shaken and his stomach gave a lurch. No. Not again. Not here. He tried to steady his breathing in an attempt to hold it in. He could feel the queasiness becoming worse and worse with every shake.

Why wouldn't they stop?

His breathing becamed laboured.

In a seconds, he rolled onto his side and vomited harshly on the ground. The shaking stopped and voices rose in concern again. Ed vomited painfully, unable to stop. He vagly recalled crying, hands holding him steady on the ground as he trembled violently.

Why wouldn't it stop? He wanted it to go away. Everything. It hurt. He couldn't.

His vomiting decreased before he was left only dry heving, his stomach empty. He panicked until he felt hismelf bein lifted off the cold ground and held in someone's arms. He couldn't only sit there, eyes screwed closed, shivering from cold. He was wrapped in a blanket, leaning against someones chest. He could smell coffee and felt someone's breath close his face. They were wiping off his chin and bangs with something soft.

Ed countinued to cry, head hanging low, headache piercing. Why couldn't it just go away? He felt hismelf being moved, carried somewhere. He was too weak to protest. He was too weak to open his eyes. He was so cold. He felt sick. His head hurt terribly. He wanted to sleep so badly.

The rocking motion caused by walking ceased as he as lowered down. He felt softness wrap around him, suffocating him. He momentarly tried to get away before a soft voice spoke to him. He couldn't make out what was being said, but he could hear the softness that laced the words and bound them together.

* * *

He must have passed out at some point or another, because then next time he regained consciousness, he felt himself pressed aginst something warm. He tried figure out what the warmth was, but nothing came to mind.

Everything was silent. There were no sounds. He could hear snoring, but didn't know where it was coming from.

A few minutes later, he decided he wanted to know where he was, and he forced open his eyes.

He was in the same place as he was the last time be woke up. But instead of lying on a cot, he was on the floor, on a pile of blankets. The warmth was coming from Roy, who slept silently, arms wrapped around Ed. The two shared a lage blanket that trapped the warmth.

Ed, comforted by Roy's presence, burrowed closer to him, careful not to wake him up. He could feel the warmth wrapping aorund him, originating from Roy. Ed knew that he couldn't have been warm because he was shivering. It was no doubt Roy that was warm. He could feel the warmth that pressed up against him.

Subconsciously, he took a fist full of Roy's shirt in his hands, and fell asleep promptly.

* * *

Roy hefted Ed onto his back, careful not to wake the sleeping boy. He stooped slightly at the sudden weight before standing at his full height again. Ed's slow, even breaths tossed around Roy's hair bit as he walked across the room.

They were in a transmuted shelter Hohenheim had made while he had Al were in Xing.

The two had appearently, as Hohenheim had explained, come to Xing for a plant that only grew there. It took a while for them to find it, probably because they were looking in the wrong spot. They found it yesterday and werer eplanning to go back to the North today.

Al insisted that Ed come with them, which Roy reluctantly agreed to. He knew it would be a terrible idea to seperate Ed from Al again but he had his doubts after Ed's little 'incident' the night before. He just saw his father and knocked the cot over and then got sick all over the floor. Since then, the boy's fever had been up and down.

To make sure Ed wasn't going to do something on the train like that, Hohenheim agreed that, if Ed woke up, he'd go sit somewhere else. They had the option to give Ed a drug strong enough to knock him out, but Roy felt gilty about pumping so much medication in the boy's small body. He still had those other pills, which he could use if something were to happen. Not only did they lower stress, they were able to knock someone out a few mere minutes after taking them.

However, Roy decided that medicine was the last resort. He'd rather try everything before forcing the kid into a medicine induced sleep. Roy could tell Ed hated medicine just by looing at him and his reluctancy to swallow a pill.

The five of them were nw on their way to the train station to catch the earliest train. Roy carried Edward on his back, no one having the heart to wake him. After what happened last night, it was agreed that Edward needed as much sleep as he could get.

As they walked to the trian station, Roy tell that it was going to be very hot that day. He was already sweating, and he could hear the change in Ed's sbreathing. It was more heavy, no longer soft and gentle.

They walked for a fair bit, stopping only to rest in the shade for a few minutes. Roy feared that Ed would over heat in the sun and insisted to stop at least every ten miutes or so.

By the time they finally, _finally_ , reached the train station, everyone – with the excetion of Al – was exhausted. Even Ed, who slept the entire time, seemed to be breathing heavier than before.

The wait for the train was only a few minutes. The group got on and sat in the seats close to the back, so as not to draw attention to themselves. Two soldiers, an old dude, a suit of armor, and an unconscious child with two automail limbs sure did draw the attention from the few other passengers on the train.

In the back, Roy shared a seat with Ed, who had taken to using Roy's lap as a pillow. The boy was curled up, a realtively peaceful look on his face.

Across from the two of them, sat Hawkeye and Alphonse, both of which stared at Ed. There was a sympathetic look in Hawkeye's eyes that showed just how much she cared for the young, sick boy.

Alphonse, on the other hand, had no facial expressions, but Roy could tell, just by the way he held himself, he cared just as deeply for Ed as everyone. The two were brothers after all.

Hohenheim, who had claimed the seats across the asial, stared at Ed with pity. Roy couldn't figure out why. He wasn't looking sympathetic like Hawkeye, and he didn't have the air of a father to him either. He almost looked...disppointed.

But why would he be disappointed? There wasn't any reason for him to be. So why?

The train started, speeding down the tracks. Roy had his arms in front of Ed for two reasons. One: The train wasn't the smoothest of rides and Ed, several times, almost rolled right off the seat. And two: The boy had latched onto one of Roy's arms and refused to let go. Roy didn't have the heart to pull away.

Roy just happened to glance up and anded on a sight that made his heart skip a beat. Hawkeye had dozed off, leaning against the side of the train, breathing softly. Roy didn't blame her for falling asleep. She barely got any sleep last night because she and Roy were watching over Ed, whos fever had suddenly spiked. Even after Roy had fallen asleep with Ed in his arms, she remained awake for a good hour after.

Roy didn't blame her.

And he didn't have the heart to wake her. She just looked so peaceful sitting here, sleeping. Just looking at her, Roy couldn't stop the light blush that dusted his cheeks.

* * *

Ed woke up with a jolt, his eyes snapping open in sync with the gasp he released. He looked around in blind panic. His gaze landed on Roy, which was enough for him to even out his breathing.

 _Roy's here. Roy's here. Roy's here. There's no bastards._

Ed thought, trying to reassure hismelf. His father wasn't there. He wasn't. He managed to rid himself of the small panic that was welling up within him. A hand, soft and gentle, landed on his shoulder, drawing his attention to the arm the hand belonged to, and finally to the kind face of Roy.

"Roy," Ed croaked, his throat terrible dry. "W-where are we goin'?"

"The North. Al's here." The older man pointed a finger, dragging Ed attention to the seat across from them.

Hawkeye was sleeping, which surprised him, and sitting beside her was Al.

"Alphonse," Ed said, smiling at the sight of his brother.

"Hello, brother," Al greeted. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Ed said. He yawned and felt his eyelids closing. Why was he so tired? He didn't want to sleep, but he could feel the raw strength of the force that was forcing his eyes closed and his mind to shut down. He didn't want to sleep, but he found it hard to do so much as think. His concentration was diminishing. He felt himsef drifting further further away. The conversation happening right there souned like it was coming form the other room. His eyes were closed and he lost the fight.

He couldn't hear, see, think, or feel anything by the time he passed out. It was just numb silence. He hated it.

* * *

The train finally reached north city after a good three hour train ride. Roy moved Edward onto his back with some difficulty and prodded Hawkeye's shouder, who woke with a start.

"We're here," Roy told her.

He could see the Lieutenant despearately trying to process everything as fast as she could, but to no avail. She was far too tired, and with the lack of sleep she had last night, she was in great need of a long rest tonight.

Roy walked off the train in wake of Hohenheim and Alphonse, praying – despite not being religious – that Ed wouldn't wake up and see his father. Maybe Roy will be able to make it so Ed didn't either snap or break down when being in the same room as the man.

Now that they were in North City, the cold was unberable. Roy pulled his thin jacket tighter around him, npt having expeccted the sudden blast of cold air after being so accustomed to the boiling heat that was Xing.

Roy was kind of regretting not packing any coats. He knew that Xing was hot so he didn't bring anything thick. He could feel Ed shivering on his back, freezing. Roy wished that he could have given his coat to Ed, but Hawkeye told him that he had to wear something and that Ed could get warmed up when they got to Alphonses' place.

It was about a ten minute walk, and by the time they reached the small house, Ed was terribly cold. His face was unbelievably pale and there was a light blue tint to his lips.

The three newcomers were led into a small living room where a single couch sat in fornt of a fire. Hohenheim disappeared for a few minutes before returning with an armful of blankets.

"Wrap Edward in these before he get's worse," he instructed as Roy set Ed down on the couch. He gratefuly accepted the blankets from Hohenheim and proceeded to wrap Ed in them. By the time he was done, a fire was alive in the fireplace, warming everything up and bathing Ed in a pale orange glow.

Roy sat beside Ed wrapping his arms around the boy to give him any warmth he could offer. Ed slept on soundly, ignorant to where he was or what was going on. Thankfully, his shivering ad decreased and he didn't look nearly as pale as he did outside.

Ed stirred slightly but settled back down almost instantly. He didn't look like he was going to wake up any time soon.

Roy pressed his hand against Ed's forehead, frowning slightly at the slight wave of heat that radiated off of it. He'll bring E'ds fever down after he was sure the boy was warm.

Alphonse clanked forward, a steaming up in his hands. "Does brother want this?" He asked. He handed the glass, which contained hot chocolate, to Roy. "It'll warm him up."

Roy, no matter how much he didn't want to wake Ed up, did so anyway. He shook the boy gently. "Ed. It's time to wake up. Ed." He shook him softly until Ed squeezed his eyes shut tightly before opening them slowly.

"Roy," he rasped, leaning close to Roy.

"Ed, Al wants you to drink this." he brought the steaming mug into Ed's line of view, waiting for the boy's eyes to focus.

Ed reached out with a shaking hand to take the glass. Roy continued holding the glass, assisting Ed as he brought the rim to his mouth and slowly drank a few sips before pulling back

"Thanks Al," he mumbled, falling aginst Roy, half asleep.

"Do you want to get some more sleep?" Roy asked.

Ed shook his head, but Roy could easily tell that consciousness wasn't going to last much longer. Even then, the boy was struggling to keep his eyes open. He weakly held onto Roy's pant leg with his free hand, The other was holding onto the blankets that were placed on top of him. Roy pat Ed's head lightly.

"Please try to get some sleep," Roy said. "You look like you could use some."

"But..."

"At least try to sleep," Roy said, tucking the blankets tighter anround Ed and putting the young boy's head in his lap. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Okay," he whispered. "I hope you're...not...lying."

Roy watched as Ed's eyes closed and his breathing evened out. The hand that had taken a fistful of Roy's baggy pants in his hand, was limp. Roy closed his eyes and set his hand down on Ed's shoudler. "I promise, Ed. I'll be here when you wake up. I won't leave."

He put his head against the back of the couch and, without meaning to, fell asleep along with Ed.

* * *

It was an annoying wake up call, if you were to ask him. Ed might not have _wanted_ to go to sleep in the first place, but he certaintly didn't want to wake up afterward. It was the worse torture there was.

Anyway, his wake up call was as small, bundled up package of hell. There was a pressure on his his side, a loud, headaching squeak, a wooden bang, swearing, splashing water, and a foul smell. And all of that was bundled up in a tightly wrapped package completed with a bow of suffocation.

Yeah, the blankes were blocking his air way, pressing against his face, which he realized was pressed up against the back of the couch.

He pried his face away and took an intake of sweet, sweet air.

It took a few minutes to realize what the terrible alarm clock really was.

Appearently Alphonse opened the kitchen door, which had rusty hinges which caused a squeak. It got jammed so he pulled, accidentally ripping the door off the door frame. Roy had dropped a glass of water on the ground and swore. And Ed realized ed the foul stink came from his own sweat.

He pushed himself up, blinked away sleep, and gazed at the aftermath of the incidents that led to Ed's awakening.

Roy as kneeling on the ground, picking up the shards of glass that came form his broken cup while Hawkeye helped him mop up the water. Alphonse was fixing the door.

Ed swept his gaze across the room before it came to a halt on one figure. Anger, and possible panic, welled up in him. Those eyes. The same eyes. He could feel himself shaking from rage, while, at the same time, felt his heart pounding against his rib cage.

He couldn't be here. Why? Why? Why did he have to be there? Why?

Then Ed realized something. Hohenheim was with Al. The two were staying in the North. This was their house. It made perfect sense why Hohenheim was there, but why were he, Roy, and Riza there as well?

He remembered going to Xing in search of Al, but he vaguely remembered anything that happened after that.

He began to mentally jot down everything he could remember, even if it was faint.

 _I passed out outside._

 _I woke up and fell and hit my head._

 _I threw up._

 _I woke up with Roy._

 _I was on a train._

 _Al talked to me._

 _I drank something sweet. It taste good._

 _The couch suffocated me._

Making it back to the present, Ed couldn't recall having anything to do with Hohenheim. Much less see him.

But none of those answered his question. Why was he in the North?

He tried to think of a reason, but every thought path he took ended in a dead end. He retraced his steps, went the other direction, but got lost again. He couldn't remember or think of a reason he was in the North.

Suddenly, a voice broke into his thoughts. He felt hands shaking him, squeezing his shoudlers lightly. Ed blinked, shaking his head to clear it of the jumbled mess of thoughts and pull it back into the present.

Roy was kneeling on the floor in front of him, calling him name and shaking his shoulders. Ed's head shot up to stare Roy straight in the eyes, startling the old man.

"Hey, you don't need to look up that quick," Roy told him, putting him arms in the air, surrendering.

"S-sorry," Ed apologized.

"There's no need to be sorry," Roy said, patting Ed lightly on the head. "But are you alright? You were looking stresssed a minute ago."

"I'm fine," Ed replied stiffly, hangind his head low, bangs covering his eyes.

He suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder, surprising him. He looked up just as Roy pulled him into a hug.

"I know something's bothering you. So please tell me what's wrong."

Ed hesitated. He couldn't tell Roy when _he_ was there. He couldn't. He didn't know why he couldn't. But he just couldn't. "I can't," Ed whispered. "I just...I just can't I'm sorry, Roy. I'm sorry." He pushed his head into Roy's neck. The Colonel pat his upper back gently.

"Why can't you?" Roy asked innocently his voice so soft.

"I'm sorry," Ed apologized, voice weak. "I just can't."

"Shh, it's alright. I know." Roy pushed hismelf up onto the couch, alowing Ed to crawl onto his lap and take a fistfull of his shirt in his hands, subconsicously afraid that Roy would abandon him like that _bastard_.

Ed slowed his heavy, stressed breaths before looking up into Roy's eyes, watching the light dance in the shining obsidian. Roy smiled gentle down at him. Ed relaxed and sank into Roy's armth, pressing his head aginst the older mans chest. Roy pat Ed's flesh shoulder gently.

Ed wiped away the tears that were beginning to gather in his eyes. He sniffed and shut his eyes. Roy hugged him gently, trying his hardest to calm Ed before he started crying. And he was doing a damn good job at it.

Minutes later, Ed was no longer on the verge of tears, and was instead sitting beside Roy, head resting against his shoulders. Ed stared at the far wall, forgetting about what he was thinking about. He yawned, tired, but not tired enough to sleep.

There was a shuffling sound from the other side of the room and Hawkeye walked over, a plate in her hands.

"Edward, Alphonse made this for you." She held out the plate, where a sandwich was placed on top.

Ed took the sandwich in shaky hands, ignoring the plate. Eyeing the sandwich with a critical eye, Ed took a bit. About a minute later, the sandwich had disappeared. "Thanks," he mumbled, returning to hiding his head against Roy's shoulder.

"Roy. When can we go back home? I miss it there," Ed asked sadly.

"Soon, Ed. Soon." Roy ruffled Edward's hair playfully. "Have you been feeling sick lately?"

"I've been feeling better," Ed admitted. "Sometimes my stomach gets upset, or I might get a headache, and I get really tired. But other than that, I've been feeling much better lately."

"That's good to hear," Roy said to him. "Perhaps you're finally getting better."

"I hope so." Ed pressed against Roy, when suddenly, Roy stood. "Roy?"

Roy turned back and offered Ed a gentle smile. "Just stay there. I'll be back in a minute."

Ed watched, sadly, as Roy disappeared into another room. Ed did as he was told and sat there, waiting for Roy to return, and wondering what was so important that he had to leave.

* * *

 **A/N 2...I'm sorry I was late with posting this chapter. I was going to post it three days ago but I forgot. Two days ago this Huge spider crawled across my bed. I hate spiders and I wouldn't go near my bed for the rest of the night and my computer was on my bed(the spider was under me). And yesterday I spent most of the day playing video games and forgot. So here's an update, sorry for beng late when I said I would o it in a week. I'll post the next chapter in a week, but if I don't post it, don't hesitate to PM me to remind me. Also, I know this chapter has a lot of spelling mistakes, btu I'm going to fix them in a few days.**

 **Anyway thanks to BigChillFreak, DamenTheDiamond, Brenne, Attackoneverything, 1animegal, I Had A Dream, Gust, and Dashita Tichou for reviewing.**

 **Well, that's about it. 'Till next chapter.**


	26. Chapter 26

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 26_**

Roy walked into the small room in wake of Hohenheim. He had been sitting on the couch with Ed when the man suddenly beckoned him to come with him. Curious, Roy followed him, and now the two of them were in a small, yet brightly, lit room. The door was closed and locked to prevent any disruptions. Hohenhein stared at Roy.

"Do you need anything?" Roy asked the man, who had remained silent.

"I see Edward's taken a liking to you," Hohenheim commented.

Roy was caught off guard by what Hohenheim said."Well, he has been living with me for a while now."

"Alphonse told me," Hohenheim began. "I heard he greatly respects you."

This one surprised Roy aslmost as much as the last. "I-I suppose."

"Mustang, I want you to do a favor for me," Hohenheim said. "Will you be willing to do that?"

"It depends what the favor is," Roy told him. He slightly feared what the favor was going to be. He hoped it wasn't something bad.

There was a long pause before Hohenheim said something that greatly shocked Roy.

"Mustang. I'm leaving this country and I'm not returning." Hohenheim held a sad look in his eyes as he spoke. "I want you to take care of Ed and Al. If anyone asks, tell them that I'm dead. Say I died in a fire." He paused. "I want you to take Ed and Al and bring them to Central. I'm leaving tonight."

"But I can't just do that," Roy protested. "They're your sons. How can you just leave them?"

"Like I told you, I'm leaving," Hohenheim replied stiffly. "I'm burning my house, like Ed and Al did to theirs. I'll transmute a dummy that resembles myself. Adopt Ed and Al. Take care of them for me." Hohenheim looked on the verge of tears. "I've been a disgrace to them. You'd make a much better father than I ever could."

"But-"

"The trains leaving in fifteen minutes," Hohenheim interrupted. "Take that train to Central. And don't go looking for me."

Roy clenched his fists by his sides. "Alright, Hohenheim. I hope you know what you're doing."

Roy turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

"Roy, what's wrong?" Ed called from the couch.

"We're going back to Central," he replied softly. "I'll get our stuff. Just sit there for a bit, alright?"

"So soon?" Ed asked.

"Yes, Ed." Roy began to pack their things. "Alphonse is coming with us. You're father wants him to."

"The bastard?" Ed echoed, altering the words so they were more to his liking.

"Yes." Roy grabbed Ed's coat and helped the boy put it on. "The train leaves soon. We have to hurry."

"O-okay." Ed zipped up the coat as Roy went to fetch Al.

He found Hawkeye and the suit of armor in the kitchen, talking to each other.

"Hawkeye, Alphonse, we're leaving," Roy announced, peering into the room.

Al looked surprised. "But I have to help dad. I can't come."

"Your father told me to take you," Roy told him. "And besides, do you know what happened to Ed after you left? His stress increased to the point I had to get him medication incase he had an anxiety attack. He missed you and his nightmares were all about you leaving him." Roy pulled the bottle of pills out of his pocket. "Ed hates taking theese. They knock him out and make him feel out of it for days. And he only has to take these because of the times his anxiety attacks are really bad." Roy dreaded telling Al all this, but he knew Al well enough to know that by saying this he'd willingly come.

"Alright," Al agreed. "I'll come for brother."

"Good." Roy stuffed the pills back into his pocket. "We're leaving in a few minutes. Get your stuff ready."

Ed was perched on Roy's back, still too weak enough to walk in the deep snow. His chin reste against Roy's broad shoulders and his legs hung limp. He could hear Al trudging behind him, not at all struggled by the snow.

They made it to the train station just in time, managing to catch the last train to Central for the day. They sat in the back, just like before. This time, Ed sat beside Hawkeye and Roy beside Al.

The blond child had his face shoved into a book, looking adorable next to Hawkeye, who was reading as well. Roy wished he had Hughes' camera to take a picture. He made a mental note to buy his own camera next time he was at a store.

The train ride was long. By the half way mark, Ed had fallen asleep, and Hawkeye looked as if she was about to join him. She looked tired. Well, that _was_ to be expected. Last night she barely slept again! She used the excuse that she couldn't fall asleep, and if that was true, Roy knew she was worried about Ed.

Roy didn't say anything when Hawkeye's head dipped down and her book landed in the empty spot beside her. Roy smiled.

The two of them looked just like mother and son. Both of them had blond hair, although, Ed's had a golden huge to it that Hawkeye didn't possess. Ed's head was resting in Hawkeye's lap, a peaceful look on his sleeping face. Hawkeye leaned against the back of the seat, a content look masking her face.

Roy dread the moment he would have to wake the two up. So until then, he alllowed himself to smile.

Ed stirred awake to the sense that he was moving. He groaned outwardly, having not been ready to wake up. He wanted to fall back asleep, but the waving motion caused by being carried kept him from falling back into slumber. He, instead, forced his heavy eyes open, recoiling at the harsh light that tried to blind him.

"I guess I should've warned you about the light. Sorry, kid."

Ed felt himself being set back down and a slamming sound. He jumped, the noise loud enough to scare him straight awake.

It took a moment for his tired mind to make out that he was in a car. Hawkeye's car by the smell of it.

"Roy?" Ed asked, uncertain. He looked around, spotting Roy getting into the drivers seat. "Roy?" Ed asked again, this time getting Roy's attention.

"Do you need something?" Roy asked, looking in the back seat.

"N-no," Ed said quickly.

Roy turned back to the front seat as Hawkeye got into the car. Ed saw Alphonse standing outside. "Isn't Al coming?"

"I'm going to drive him to my place once I drop you and Hawkeye off," Roy told him, driving down the street. "There's not enough room for him right now."

Ed frowned as he leaned back, staring out the window at Al, who grew small and smaller until he finally disappeared completely as Roy rounded a corner.

Couldn't they have at least _tried_ to make room for Al? He's fit in cars this size before, so why wouldn't be fit again? Ed pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window, longing for Al.

When the car finally drove into the parking lot of the only house that Ed called home, the boy clambered out and followed Hawkeye to the door. Ed waved at Roy as he drove off down the street in the way they had come to pick up Al.

Hawkeye worked with the lock while Ed leaned up agaisnt the side of the house, losing himself in his thoughts.

He found it suspiscious that Roy had suddenly decided to bring him and Al back to Central. It was right after he was in that small room. Hawkeye was in the kitchen with Al, he was lying on the couch. Roy wouldn't have just suddenly gotten up and spent several long minutes in a small room himself. There had to be someone talking to him. And the only person that could have been was...

 _Hohenheim!_

Ed's head shot up, suddenly realizing something. He shoved his hand, which had previously been holding his chin like it did in deep concentraion, into his pocket as he walked into the house. Ed collapsed instinctivly onto the couch in Roy's living room, once again loosing himself in his thoughts.

Did Roy and Hohenheim have a fight? No, they couldn't have. He would have heard yelling or thumping if there was a fight. An argument? Well, Roy did look kind of annoyed, if that was the right word, when he walked out, so maybe? But that still didn't explain why Roy suddenly decided that he had to go. Maybe Hohenheim wanted Roy to leave and told him to get out? Or maybe Hohenheim did like Ed and Al? No, that wasn't it. There had to be a reason.

Think, damn it, think!

He was too deep in thought to realize that Roy and Al had arrived. He vagely heard someone calling his name but he paid no heed to it. He continued to stare up at the textured ceiling of Roy's living room, his eyes holding a glazed and faraway look.

Maybe Roy got mad at Hohenheim and ran away with him and Al?

No, that's not it?

So what was the reason?

"Ed!"

Ed jolted out of his thoughts suddenly, snapping back to the presence, and looking around wildly. Roy stood by Ed's head, staring down at him. Ed looked back, confused.

"Roy?"

"Are you alright?' Roy asked. "Hawkeye said you've been looking like that since I left."

"Looking like what?" Ed asked innocently.

"Like you're sleeping with your eyes open. She tried to get your attention but you never answered. If you didn't snap out of it when you did we were planning on take you to see the doctor." Roy sounded angry as he talked. But why? Ed didn't do anything wrong. He was just thinking. That's all. Thinking.

"You don't need to do that," Ed muttered, psuhing himself up on the couch. He let out a sharp huff of air before leaning against the back of the couch. "And besides, you don't have to wory about me this much. I'm fine."

That was when Roy snapped. "Do you know just how may times you've almost died recently. I've taken you to the hosptial countless of times in the nick of time. You would be dead if it weren't for me. I'll worry about you if I feel like it. Or do you have a problem with that!?"

Ed was taken aback by the harsh tone in Roy's voice. Why did he sound like that? Did he hate Ed? Being too concerned by the tone in Roy's voice, Ed didn't hear what he as ranting about. Instead, Ed jumped form the couch and ran upstairs, slamming his bedroom door in the process. He dove at his bed, burying his face in the pillow.

He had a headache now. He felt sick. He wanted to be alone. That's all he wanted. He just wanted to be alone. He released a slow, shaky breath, and curled his hand into a fist. He could feel tears pricking in his eyes but he held them back, which proved difficult.

There was a soft rasp on his bedroom door, followed by a voice, which was very soft compared to what it was before.

"Edward, can I come in?" Roy called through the wood.

"Go away, bastard," Ed retorted.

Then he did something he hadn't done in a while. He walked briskly to the door and threw his palms together. He slammed them against the door, locking it so Roy couldn't get in.

He immediately regret using Alchemy.

Darkness gathered n the corners of his vision and his legs gave way on him. He tumbled to the ground in a small heap, barely able to move. Being sick and using Alchemy wans't the greatest of ideas.

"Edward. I heard a bang. Are you okay?" Roy called again.

"Go 'way, bas'ard," Ed managed, words slurred.

"Edward, unlock the door now," Roy ordered, shaking the doornob.

"Sorry. I can't," Ed whispered, unsure if Roy heard him, before passing out swiftly on the floor.

Roy called through the door, but Ed had gone silent inside. He swore and tried to knock the door down, but to no avail.

"Alphonse, come up here and help me!" Roy called. "I think Ed transmuted the door closed!"

Like a puppy, Al came bounding up the stairs. "I'll open it." Al quickly sketched a Transmutation Circle onto the door with chalk in record time. He slammed his hand against it, transmuting the door back to it's original state. Roy burst inside and found Ed lying on the ground by the bed, out cold.

"Edward!" Roy ran over, lifting the boy gently in his arms. Ed was as limp as a overcooked wet noodle. Roy cradled him gently in his arms, trying desperately to wake him.

The boy didn't so much as groan.

That worried Roy.

He set Ed down in the bed, looking him over for any injuries. Finding none, Roy pressed his palm against Ed forehead, recoiling at the sudden wave of heat that radiated off of it.

"Damn it, Ed. Why the hell did you use Alchemy? You should have known better." Roy let out a frustrated sigh. "Alphonse, can you get me a cold cloth and some water?"

"Yes!" Al clanket off while Roy turned back to Ed.

By then, Hawkeye was in the room, standing behind Roy and looking down at Ed's fever striken, unconscious body.

"What happened to him?" Hawkeye asked.

"He used Alchemy," Roy explained, staring at Ed sadly. "Sometimes a person who preforms a transmutation loses his energy, especially if they transmute something out of their reach of power. Ed's case is, he is still weak from sickness and transmuting anything takes a great deal out of him. He used enough power to knock him out."

Alphonse came into the room, handing Roy the damp cloth, which the Colonel used to wipe the gathering sweat off of Ed's too warm forehead.

This time, thankfully, Ed made a small groan and forced his eyes open. One look at Ry made him jump back in an attempt to get away, but Hawkeye held him down, knowing that he was too weak to get out of bed.

"Wh-what's going on?" Ed asked, eyes wide.

Roy reached out a hand and gently pulled Ed into a hug, holding against the struggling attempts Ed made to break free.

"Shh, calm down," Roy said gently while struggling to hold onto Ed.

Roy suddenly heard a strangled sob before Ed buried his face in Roy's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered. "I'm sorry."

Roy was shocked by the sudden change in Ed. "Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"I locked you out of the room. And I f-fainted. I'm such an idiot." Ed clung to Roy.

"Shh, don't cry," Roy begged, patting Ed's back. The boy ignored his orders and cried silently, stiffling the sobs as they shot through his body. He felt gult welling up inside him. It was all because of him that Ed was like this. He was getting so much better. He wasn't stressed. But now...

Roy just _had_ to open his big, fat mouth. He didn't even reaalize he had been _yelling_ until Hawkeye pointed it out after Ed had run from the room. And the boy used Alchemy to keep Roy _out_ of his room. Now Ed was sick again, and crying.

"I'm so sorry, Ed," Roy apologized, pulling Ed away so he was staring straight into his eyes, which were rimmed with red. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry." He pulled Ed into another hug, the boy buring his face in Roy's shoulder.

"I forgive you," Ed whispered, falling limp in Roy's arms, passing out promptly after the apology.

After hugging Ed for a few more moments, Roy set him gently down in the bed, placing the cold cloth on his forehead and over his eyes. Ed unconsciously shivered at the freezing touch, but remained unconscious.

Roy frowned and hung his head. A hand landed on his shoulder.

"Sir, learn from this. You have to remember that Ed's not the same way he use to be. The illness changed him. He's not as strong as before, sir"

Roy looked up at Hawkeye, who gave him a hard look.

"Can't you tell that his mask is broken. He can't hide his emotions as well as before. You just have to accept that. Learn from this and know that you can't raise your voice. It must hurt Ed to have his dad yell at him."

Roy was puzzled. "Dad? But he doesn't like-"

"Are you stupid, sir?" Hawkeye asked with a straight face. " _You're_ Ed's dad. Do you know how many times he's called you 'dad' since he started living with you?"

Roy suddenly realized what his lieutenant was talking about. He looked down, shamed by what he did. "I want to make it up to him. Do you know how I can do that? I don't know where we should go."

Hawkeye shrugged. "You don't have to leave the house to apologize to Edward. I think he'll be content just sitting on the porch for a few minutes with you. Or doing something that inables him to be close to your side. It's your choice what to do."

"Aright. I'll ask him tomorrow. I don't think he'll wake up anytime soon." He realized something. "Crap. All Ed's eaten today was a small sandwich."

Hawkeye rose to her feet. "Just let him sleep. He can eat a big breakfast tomorrow." Hawkeye rose to her feet. "I'd best get going." She turned for the door and walked out.

"Drive safely, Riza," Roy called after her, blushing when he realized he called her by her first name.

Hawkeye froze. "I'll make sure I will. Roy." Then she walked out of the room and, a few moments later, out the front door.

Roy was left to wonder what came over him. Calling Hawkey by her first name. That was something he hadn't done since his apprentice days. But, just saying the name felt so good. He wished he could called Hawkeye 'Riza' from now on. But he knew it'd be strange if he went from 'Lieutenant Hawkeye' to 'Lieutenant Riza' all of a sudden. He'll jut keep it the way it was, not matter how much he preferred the other way.

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 26. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I have something important to announce! Last chapter I mentioned that chapter 27 was going to be a long chapter, but I'm going to have to split into two chapters since I don't have time to f proofread something that long (** **I'll still have a long chapter, but it'll just be a bit of a longer wait). School just started and I'm just really tired. Even now, I'm barely awake. (I apologize for spelling mistakes). I'll fix them when I'm not half asleep)**

 **Anyway, I'd like to thank Attackoneverything, Guest(1), I Had A Dream, Brenne, Leradomi, Lily, BigChillFreak, Akarri, 1animegal, Cather Elric, and Guest(2) for reviewing last chapter.**

 _ **Guest(2): I'd like to thank you for correcting the spelling errors for chater 255 for me. It was really helpful and I'll fixing the selling mistakes in the chapter when I find time.**_

 _ **Cheeseries: Thank you for reminding me to post this chapter. I had totally forgotten and your PM reminded me. Thanks!**_

 **Well, that's about it for this A/N. I'd once again like to thank everyone for reviewing. I just love hearing your opinions of my story. Seeing the number of reviews increasing makes me more and more eager to post the next chapter. Don't hesitate to review. I just love reading your opinions of my story and it makes my day to see my review count go up.**

 **Well, 'till next chapter.**


	27. Chapter 27

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 27_**

Roy poured himself a cup of coffee before heading into the living room, his daily newspaper tucked safely under his arm. He took a sip of his coffee, satisfied with the taste that washed over him tongue. Taking a seat on the couch, he unfolded the newspaper and stared at the front page. He began to read after a moments hesitation.

 **Fire in North City**

 _Last night we received reports of a fire raging through the home of one of the citizens in North city. The fire was put out as fast as possible, but the damage was already done. One had been suspected dead. We identified the victim as Von Hohenheim, who had been living there alone for the past few weeks. His neighbour, Mr. Andrews, received a letter from Von Hohenheim the evening the house burned. Fuhrer President King Bradley received the letter, which appears to have been a will. The contents of the letter are currently unknown. The investigations department is currently working on finding out the cause of the fire and who started it._

Underneath the article was a photograph of the charred remains of the house. Roy knew, and was the only person, who knew that Hohenheim was not dead, but live. The will, however was a mystery even to him.

"So he died a coward," a bitter voice said from behind Roy.

Roy whipped around to find Ed looking over Roy's shoulder at the newspaper, a disgusted look in his eyes.

"Edward? You're awake?" Roy asked, surprised.

Ed sat onto the couch beside Roy, crossing his arms over his chest. "What did you expect. I wasn't going to sleep all day." he let out a sharp outtake of breath. "So the bastards finally dead. Never thought I'd ever say that."

"Does it bother you?" Roy asked. "He was your father after all.

"I don't give a crap if he's alive or dead," Ed spat. "He was never a dad, much less a father, to begin with. Makes no difference to me whether he'd alive or dead. At least I'll never have to see him again."

Roy was truly surprised by the bitter tone in Ed's voice. He knew the kid hated his father, but he didn't know it was on a scale like this. Is he glad his father is dead?

"Are you going to tell Al?' Roy asked. "He actually liked his father. I don't think he'll take it as well as you."

Ed stiffened. "Al..." He clenched his hands and looked down, bangs shielding his eyes. 'What am I gonna say?"

"I'll tell him if you want?" Roy offered.

"No." Ed shook his head. "I'll tell him. I'm his brother. I should be the one to tell him. Where is he?"

Roy gave the question a moment of thought. "I think he went outside. Found a tray or something."

"Thanks." Ed rose to his feet and headed for the door. "Wait here. Don't follow me."

"Alright, Ed," Roy said as Ed disappeared around the corner.

* * *

Ed found Al outside, and just as Roy had said, he was petting a stray cat, who purred happily. Ed walked over and sat in the grass beside his brother's armored body.

"Al," Ed began.

Al looked over, his hand momentarily freezing half way through a pet. "Brother? Good morning."

"Yeah." Ed gathered his thoughts, trying to figure out what eh was going to say. How was he going to break it to Al? How was he going to tell him? What was Al going to say? How was Al going to react?

Ed released the breath he had been holding, curling his hand into a fist to stop it from shaking. He didn't know what to say. How was he going to tell Al that their brassard of a father was dead? He had to do it. He just had to get it over with.

Releasing the breath of air he'd been holding, Ed told Al everything. How their father as dead How he died in a fire. How his will was sent to the Fuhrer. He told Al everything, all the while finding it hard to breathe. When he was done, he hung his head, ashamed.

"Oh." Al looked down, just like Ed. "I guess it was his time. But...I wish he could have finished what he was working on before."

"Working on what?" Ed asked.

Al turned to look at Ed. "he was trying to make a medicine which would cure the disease. He didn't want you to die."

Ed's eyes widened. "He's do that? But why?"

"He told me he blames himself for running away all those years ago," Al explained. "He wanted to do something to make it up to us. He thought that if he could save you, we'd forgive him."

Ed grit his teeth. "I wouldn't have forgiven him either way. He was a bastard, and he did a bastard. I ever would have forgiven him for leaving mom ever. He can do anything he can think of, but I'll always hate him." He knew that he sounded bitter, like a careless child, but he didn't care. It was true. He blamed the bastard, even now, for leaving. He blamed him for his mother's death. He'll never forgive him.

"I know, brother." Al put his hand on Ed's shoulder. "Let's get inside."

Ed followed Al back to the house, wondering if he's done the right thing. He stared at the ground bitterly, sadly, as he trudged into the house.

He found Roy standing in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Ed fell heavily onto one of the four chair that surrounded the table and pressed his head against the cool oak.

The scents of the meal Roy was preparing wafted over to him, overpowering all of his other senses. Ed's mouth began to water as he though about the delicious food Roy was no doubt making. He smelled bacon, which was the strongest of the many scents.

"Brother, you're drooling," Al pointed out, prodding Ed's shoulder.

Ed looked up, face taking up a light shade of red, and wiped the drool off his chin quickly.

"Does the food smell good?" Al asked. There was a hint of sadness in his voice as he spoke. It was enough to remind Ed of his mistake.

The blond looked down, bangs shielding his eyes. He stood up suddenly, avoiding any form of eye contact. "I'll be back in a minute." He turned and walked up the stairs, wanting nothing more than to be alone. He made it to his room and shut his door.

He collapsed onto his bed, rolling onto his side so he was facing the window. He let out a slow breath of air, blowing his fallen bangs away from their job shielding Ed's eyes.

He remembered the pain he heard in Al's' voice when he asked if the food smelled good. Damn it! Al couldn't even smell the food for himself or eat it for that matter. Ed could tell, without a doubt, that Al longed to devour any kind of food. Anything at all.

And it was all Ed's fault.

He closed his eyes, feeling the sun beating his face. Yet another thing Al couldn't experience. Ed grit his teeth and curled his hands into tight fists, tearing the skin on his flesh hand in the process. He could feel the warm, slick blood run between his fingers. He must had dug deep. But he didn't care. He carelessly wiped the blood on the blanket, staining it a shining crimson that glistened in the suns rays.

How was he going to get Al's body back? He couldn't even perform Alchemy. He tried last night and fainted. He fainted just because he tried to transmute something.

Was he really that weak?

Yeah, he was. He was a weak child who couldn't do anything. He angrily wiped away the tears that decided to fall down his face, forgetting about how his flesh hand was bleeding. Blood smeared across his face and he hastily wiped it off on the corner of the blanket.

Damn it!

Al couldn't even cry is he wanted to. So why did Ed have the right to do it?

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Ed punched the mattress, using all of his willpower to hold back the gathering tears.

Damn it!

Someone knocked on his bedroom door.

"Edward." It was Roy. "Are you alright in there?"

Ed ignored him.

"Can I come in?" He asked through the wood.

Ed took in a deep breath of at and said, forcing the tremble out of his voice, "Fine."

He turned away as the door creaked open slowly, the artificial light from the hallway spilling in and mixing with the suns rays. Footsteps echoed in the room, covering he distance to the bed in a few, brisk strides.

"Edward, is everything alright?" Roy asked. "You just ran off. Did something happen?"

Ed didn't answer. He shut his eyes, trying his best to ignore the fact that Roy was in there. He wanted to be alone. Was it that hard to ask? He just wanted to be alone to gather his scrambled, messed up excuse of his thoughts.

He stiffened as a hand landed on his shoulder. He blinked open his eyes and found Roy staring down at him.

"You're bleeding," he stated, extending a hand and wiping the smeared blood off of Ed's forehead. He noticed the hand. "You should clean your wound."

"I don't care." Ed ripped his gaze form Roy and pressed his face into his pillow so he wasn't able to see anything.

"Edward." Roy bent forward and shook his shoulder slightly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Ed grit his teeth, digging his fingernails into his palm again, unintentionally digging a deeper cut.

"Al. He looked like he wanted to eat the food so badly. He sounded so sad." Ed squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to block the tears that threatened to spill. "I can't stand it anymore. I can't use Alchemy without wearing myself out to the point I faint. How am I possible going to be able to get Al's body back if I can't even do a simple transmutation? Damn it!"

Within a second, Ed found himself no longer buried in the pillow, but in Roy's arms. "It's alright, Ed. You're still weak from being sick. Just give it time. I know you can get Al's body back. You just have to wait."

"D-damn it." Ed hastily wiped away the tears that were now falling freely down his face. "Damn it."

"Come on." Roy rose to his feet, offering Ed a hand. "Breakfast is ready. Let's get you cleaned up and then you can eat it." Ed took Roy's hand and rose to his full height. "And don't worry about Al. He went for a walk around the block."

Ed nodded as he silently followed Roy down the hall to the bathroom. The boy washed his hands, losing himself in his thoughts.

He just couldn't stop thinking about how he was going to restore Al's body. There was no hope now. He wasn't strong enough to do it. He couldn't do it. Has all of his searching led to nothing? He hung his head, bangs hitting the running water. He shut his eyes, gritting his teeth.

He let out a ragged breath of air and shook his head.

He barely registered an arm wrapping around his shoulders and the water being shut off. He listened to his pounding heart, wishing that he could think of a way. Any way.

But nothing came to him.

"Come one, Ed." Roy began to guide him down the stairs, careful to make sure Ed didn't walk into anything.

Ed forced open his golden eyes as he sat down on a chair in the kitchen, staring at the food sadly.

He barely touched his food before giving up on eating and hanging his head in defeat. A hand landed on his shoulder.

"Is everything alright?" Roy asked gently.

"I'm not hungry," Ed lied. He got up from the table. "I want to lie down for a bit." He walked slowly to the living room, feet scraping against the ground as he did so. When he got to the living room he collapsed onto the couch. He curled up and closed his eyes, wishing that he could forget everything.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to release all of his emotions, every hidden feeling, through his tears. The few he released earlier did nothing to help with the guilt that, even then, continued to rise up in him like a flooding lake. There was no where for the water to escape, so it filled and buried the banks, rising to the point that nothing could be done. The rain pounded down, adding to the volume of water, the level rising higher and high. In no time, the water will consume everything and nothing could be done by that point.

That's how Ed felt. He couldn't control his emotions as they grew and grew, adding more and more layers to his stress. He curled in on himself, shoving his head between his knees. He couldn't hide it for much longer. Everything was rising to the surface, threatening to spill. He curled his hand into a fist, wincing slightly as he re-opened the freshly sealed wound. His breathing picked up. He couldn't. It was too hard.

He pressed his face against the back of the couch, pulling his knees up as far as they would go. He was a small ball, huddled on the couch, shivering.

* * *

Ed trudged behind Roy, hands shoved deep into his pockets and a frown tugging on his lips. The distinct, overwhelming, scent of disinfectant burning the hairs in his nose.

He and Roy silently waited in the waiting room for the doctor. Ed fiddled with a paperclip he found in his pocket. He didn't know why, but he was nervous. It was strange, though. He was just going for a simple check up to make sure he was doing fine. Dr. Colbert and, possible nurse Marry were going to be there. He hoped Marry was going to be there. She was really nice to him, and he had a lot of respect for her. Dr. Colbrt was fine, he wasn't as nice as nurse Marry, but he was still nicer than any doctor Ed's ever been to before.

The wait was only a few minutes. Ed looked up to fine Dr. Colbert smiling kindly down at him.

"Good afternoon, Edward," he greeted cheerfully.

Ed nodded in response, unable to find his voice in enough time to respond.

Roy prodded Ed on the shoulder and signalled for him to get up, which Ed did. The two of them followed Dr. Colbert into a small doctor's office.

"You can take a seat in one of those chairs," Dr. Colbert instructed, gathering his supplies.

Ed did as he was told, sitting in the hard, uncomfortable chair without any protest of sound. He glanced longingly up at Roy, who stood a few feet away.

"Roy," he called lightly, staring up at the Colonel with a pleading look in his eyes.

"What do you want?" Roy asked.

"D-don't leave," he said, voice small and hesitant.

"I'm not leaving," Roy promised, giving Ed a soft look. "Is something bothering you?"

Ed shook his head quickly. Liar!

Yeah he was lying. There was something bothering him. Something that's been on his mind since this morning. Hs father was dead. But that's not what was bothering him. He and Al were officially orphans now. The only reason the two weren't sent to an orphanage after their mothers death was because their father was still alive. But now...

Ed couldn't help but fear that he and Al would be sent to an orphanage or something. He didn't want to leave Roy. He couldn't. He felt himself panicking slightly, but he his stress from everyone, pushing it deep down, where it had no chance of resurfacing.

"Edward, hey, Ed." Dr. Colbert was in front of him, staring at him. "You with me?"

Ed nodded.

"Alright. I'm just going to check a few things. Alright?"

Ed nodded again. He just wanted to hurry up and get out of there. He was tired.

He recoiled at the sudden cold touch of a stethoscope against his chest. A shiver passed through his body. The cold remained, much to Ed's disapproval, for about a minute before it was pulled back. Dr. Colbert frowned.

"Are you at all stressed out right now?" The doctor asked Ed, looking a bit concerned

Ed shook his head slowly, avoiding any form of eye contact with anyone. The doctor, still unsure, continued with what he was ding. They were nearly done when Ed knew he wanted to get up and run away.

"I'll just take a blood test nd then you guys can go, alright?" Dr. Colbert asked Roy, who was still standing in the same spot as before.

"Yeah." The Colonel looked down at Ed. "Ed, we'll leave right after this."

The doctor gathered his supplied as made it over to Ed. He grabbed Ed's arm and set it down on the arm rest of the chair. Ed's heat rate sped when the doctor flashed out a needle. The blonds eyes widened and he panicked, struggling to get away.

He wasn't even out of the chair before Roy was there, holding him down, struggling to do so because of the boys constant attempts to break away.

"Damn it, Edward," Roy growled, grabbing Ed and wrapping his arms tightly around his small body, preventing him from moving. "Just sit still."

"No more needles!" Ed protested. When he had been terribly sick, he never really thought twice about being poked and stabbed with all those foreign objects. But now that he was feeling almost normal, he wasn't going to put up with this anymore. He could hear his heart pounding in his head and his blood roaring in his ears. There was a cold touch as cleaning alcohol was rubbed against the inside of his elbow.

Ed saw Dr. Colbert push a long needle straight into his vein, drawing his blood into a small vial. Ed's eyes widened at the sight of the translucent crimson liquid running into the glass vial. His stomach twisted his vision blurred.

His head hit Roy's shoulder, a dark veil covering his vision.

"Edward, Ed!"

Voices frantically called out his name but they were so distant and faraway that he could barely make them out. The voices, which rose in panic, were growing further and further with each passing second. Minutes passed before the sounds disappeared completely, leaving him alone and lost in darkness.

* * *

"Ed. Edward."

Ed was being forcefully shaken away. The heavy hand on his shoulder moving him back and forth; back and forth. It made his feel sick. Why won't it stop? Why won't it stop? He grabbed hold of the first thing he could find to stop the relentless rocking hand met fabric, which he clung to.

"Edward, come on. Answer me. Wake up," a voice impatiently urged.

Ed cracked open his eyes to find out who was talking. In front of him knelt Dr. Colbert, but Ed knew for certain that he wasn't the ne who spoke.

Roy spoke to him. And he was sitting on Roy's lap, leaning against him with his head tucking into Roy's chest. Ed pulled away, unsure about what was going on. He made out the sterile white walls of a hospital and the overwhelming scent of disinfectant that always accompanied the color.

He blinked. Once. Twice. Glancing upward, he discovered Roy staring down at him.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concerned.

Ed nodded as he pushed away from Roy and rose to his feet. "What happened?"

"You fainted or something," Roy explained calmly. He narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure you're alright? You're looking a little pale."

Ed turned away, head hanging low. "I just want to go home. Please."

"Edward." Hands grabbed his shoulders and turned him around, forcing him to face Roy. "Just let Dr. Colbert finish what he's doing."

"Don't worry about it," Dr. Colbert spoke up. "I think what Ed needs is rest more than anything right now. But I would like you two to come back soon. Is that alright with you, Ed?"

Ed nodded, still avoiding eye-contact with everyone. "Yeah. That's fine."

"So, we'll see you soon," Roy said, grabbing Ed by his hand. "Bye."

Roy nearly dragged Ed out of the hospital. The boy's gaze remained shattered and unfocused as he stared at the ground slowly moving beneath his feet a each of his strides took his further and further from the white building. Soon enough he was sitting in Roy's car, leaning against the window, a frown on his face.

The car ride was silent, the only sound being the rumble of the engine and the wind from the open window that screamed in his ears.

By the time they finally reached Roy's place, Ed wanted nothing more than to be alone. He walked silently into the living room before releasing the breath he had been holding since the ride, and headed for the front door again.

"Ed, where are you going?" Roy asked, seconds after the door creaked open.

"I'm going for a walk," Ed replied, keeping his back facing Roy. He just pushed past the door when Roy's hand caught his shoulder, holding him back.

"Ed, you shouldn't go off alone. Especially in your condition," Roy explained softly, hand tightening its grip on Ed's shoulder. "You can go for a walk later. Is that alright?"

"Leave me alone." Ed shrugged Roy's hand off, ignoring the unsettling feeling deep in his gut, and walked down the path to Roy's house and finally onto the sidewalk. He began to walk quickly, ignoring Roy's begging pleas for him to stay. Each footstep he took was a quick stride without a moments of hesitation. He was confident in his decision and too stubborn to turn back.

He knew that, without a doubt, that it was going to be raining fairly soon. Judging by the thick, grey-black clouds that were rolling in quickly, rain was on its way. Ed's shoulder port ached uncomfortably, same with the port on his leg.

The further he walked, the closer the clouds came. Soon, Ed found himself limping slightly. After the first drop of rain fell, Ed made to turn back, deciding to go back home before the worst of the pain, and rain settled in. A thought suddenly stuck him sharply.

Where was Roy's house. He looked around, only too realize his surroundings were new and different. He felt his heart give a fluttered beat at the thought f being lost. He panicked and took off in the direction he came in, hoping that he'd find his way home.

He ran until his chest was crushing him, and his leg hurt enough to make him wince. The rain was [pouring down now, soaking his through and through. Now that he thought about it, leaving his coat back at Roy's place wasn't the best of ideas. Well, he hadn't expected it to rain.

Damn. It was cold. Ed was shivering when he finally gave up, content with curling up underneath a dense pine tree that grew close to the ground. The rain didn't hit him a much, but the pine needles dug uncomfortably into his flesh and the ground was still fairly damp. It was miserable/ He didn't eve know where in the bloody hell he was! For all he knew he could be in East City. Damn it!

He curled in on himself, trying to relive some of the cold h was in. It didn't work. He had no way of escaping, so he was forced to just lie there, soaked through with the freezing, ice-like rain.

His head drooped against the pounding rain before he hesitantly rose to his feet to keep walking. What was he doing sitting out in the rain? Wouldn't it make more sense that he try and find a way back home?

So that's what he did.

The trek was a slow one. Originally, his plan was to run down the street, turn a corner, and find Roy's house. He did that, except he never did pay attention to which street he turned down or the scenery that accompanied it. He had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to realize where he had been going.

He stumbled over his feet and tumbled to the round. He heard the splash before he felt the cold, muddy water splash over his head. He swore under his breath as he scrambled to his feet and leapt out of the puddle, landing clumsily on the slick cement.

Suddenly, in the distance, a silhouette appeared. The humanoid figure, blurry and barley recognisable against the relentlessly pounding rain, lumbered across the pavement, straight towards Ed, who was frozen in fear.

Ed cautiously backed away, heart pounding loudly in his chest. Who, or what was walking towards him. He made a scramble to get away, but only managed to make it a few feet before he tripped over his feet and went sprawling across the ground.

There was a loud, frantic voice calling out. But, the voice that sounded reassuring, made Ed cover his head with his hands and cower on the ground. This was it. That person, or monster, or something was going to kill him. Or eat him. Or chop him into little pieces.

"Edward!"

Wait! He recognized that voice! Ed cracked open his eyes slightly, against the pounding rain, and saw Roy sliding into a kneel in front of him. "Edward, thank god I found you. Are you alright? Do you feel sick? Are you cold?"

Ed let out a small, light groan as he shut his eyes and curled in on himself. "It-It's c-cold," Ed whispered.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Roy wrapped his arms caringly around Ed's shivering body. Ed found himself sinking into Roy's warmth, eyes closed. Roy stroked his hair softly and held him tight.

"Damn it, Ed. You're freezing!" Roy exclaimed removing his coat and wrapping it around Ed's shaking body. "Let's get you back home."

Before Ed had time to protest, Roy scooped the tired, cold by into his arms and began down the street. With little strength, Ed was unable to put up a fight and found his head falling against Roy's shoulder.

The gentle rocking motions that was generated by Roy's walking made him tired. His eyelids began to droop down, limbs beaming heavy.

He forced himself to stay awake and alert, but it son became apparent that his body had other ideas. When his eyes dropped down, Ed found consciousness impossible to achieve. Slowly, but surely, he drifted off, in Roy's arms, the pounding, slashing rain nothing but a distant, numb sensation.

* * *

Arriving at his house, Roy immediately, without wasting a single second, grabbed the first towel his eyes landed on. He began to dry Ed's mop-like hair.

Ed, unconscious, leaned against Roy, breathing softly, a peaceful look coating his otherwise pale face. Roy outwardly sighed as his hand brushed against Ed's terribly cold face.

Roy, noticing Ed's damp clothes, decided that it would be best to change them. And Ed didn't seem to be conscious enough to do it himself.

Slowly, Roy laid Ed out gently on the couch and dashed up stairs, not wanting to leave Ed unattended for too long. The first clothes that reached his eyes were the ones to be grabbed before the dash back to the living room began.

Ed hadn't moved out of that position since Roy left him, which meant that he wasn't yet away. Better get there before the boy woke up and flipped.

After quickly dressing Ed, Roy grabbed the blanket draped over the back of the couch and firmly bound Ed in it, holding he boy in his arms to further warm him up. Ed gave a small groan. Perhaps he was going to wake up soon?

Before Ed woke up, which Roy knew was bound to happen soon, Roy dashed into the other room to fetch Al, only to find the suit of armor wasn't there. Knowing he had no time to look for Al, Roy ran back into the living room, hoping Ed hadn't woken up yet.

* * *

 **A/N...So here's chapter 27! T** **hanks to BigChillFreak, Brenne, inuyashamunkey, attackoneverything, 1animegal, I Had A Dream, Guest, Lily, Bleh, Gust, and Akarri for reviewing last chapter!**

 **Well, that's about it. I don't know what else to say, since I'm half asleep right now. So, that's chapter 27, I'll update in a week, and, yeah. 'Till next chapter!**


	28. Chapter 28

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 28_**

The first thing that dawned on him was the cold piercing through his body. It was impossible to supress the shiver that shook his frail body. He grit his teeth to stop them from chattering and drew the blanket further over his head in hopes of protecting the pitiful warmth he had managed to gather.

There was a pressure off to his side, like the surface that he currently lay on was being pressed down. No heed was paid to what normally could have made him at least a little curious. Instead, he focused on the cold that never seemed to go away.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand landed don his shoulder, jarring him out of him thoughts ad straight to the ground. A low, pained groan rose up form the boy, who currently lay on the ground, neck bent at an awkward angle. Another groan came to life as he pushed himself up. A hand appeared in form of him, outstretched and palm facing the opposite side of the room, offering him help to get up.

Ed awkwardly took the hand in his own, surprised, no, shocked at the warmth that radiated off the flesh. So warm. He never wanted to let go.

A calm, relaxed expression covered his face, chasing away the surprise that formerly masked his face.

He managed to get back onto the couch with ease and bury himself back underneath the blanket, thankful for its warmth. The same warm hand landed on his shoulder, which was exposed over the top of the blanket.

He didn't jump this time. The hand was something he expected. It wasn't at all a surprise for that hand to land on his shoulder. It was so warm.

Ed noticeably sank at the touch, a content look on his face.

"Edward, are you feeling alright?" A voice asked him gently. The voice was almost as warm as the hand which, even hen, continued to rest upon his shoulder.

"Cold," Ed whispered, right upon recognising the voice which clearly addressed him. He shuffled closer to the direction of the voice and the sense of warmth that seemed to roll from one direction in waves. He found the source of the warmth and pressed right up against it. He couldn't care less who the person was at that moment. They were warm, and that was all that mattered.

But he knew, without a doubt or a second thought, that the person whom Ed as leaning against was none other than Roy Mustang. It was easy to tell. The way Roy's hand wrapped around his back. His scent. The gentle embrace.

Every single piece of evidence pointed to Roy. And Ed, when he looked up, found himself staring straight into Roy's dark, onyx eyes.

"Do you want another blanket?" Roy asked.

Ed shook his head as he pressed closer to Roy. "You're warm enough," he mumbled, closing his eyes. Blindly fumbling with the blanket roved much more difficult than he originally thought. After what felt like several minutes of fruitlessly trying to cover himself with the blanket, he gave up with defeated sigh.

After hearing Ed's sigh, Roy took the blanket in his own hands and wrapped it around Ed, who grew extremely grateful for the help.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Roy offered. "I'll wake you up soon."

"Sleep," Ed echoed. "Not yet. Where Al?"

"I think he went into my study after you went for a walk. Do you want me to get him?"

Ed nodded slowly.

"Alright. I'll be right back."

The couch shifted as Roy rose to his feet. The warmth dispersed and Ed curled up in the one spot that still retained a small bit of warmth. The cushion that Roy was sitting on was still warm. A yawn erupted from him, forcing his eyes down. Tiredness crept into his body and tried to force him into sleep.

He didn't want to go to sleep. He wanted to see Al. He had to find out.

But when Al walked into the room in wake of Roy, Ed was already in a deep sleep.

* * *

A slight rocking motion and a voice broke into his tightly woven together et of his conscious. Hands tugged at his inner consciousness, pulling him roughly out of his deep slumber. A small groan was the only way he was able to voice his anger discomfort and disagreement with what was happening.

"Nnnh," he protested, words incomprehensible.

The voice that rose up to reply to his groan was just as incoherent as his. It was impossible to make heads or tails of the words or left or right of the syllables. His attempt to ask what they said came out like this:

"Wha-?" He wondered aloud.

This time, finally, he was able to make out the words of the response that came somewhat five seconds later.

"Ed, wake up."

So they, whoever they were, wanted him to wake up. But he was so tired. He didn't want to wake up. Sleep. He wanted to sleep.

"Nooo," he moaned.

"Yessss," the voice replied, using the exact same tone Ed previously used. Were they mocking him?

Ed, knowing that falling asleep was an impossible task – no thanks to whoever was this persistent on waking him up – forced his eyes open, taking a few seconds to blink the harsh light out of his eyes. Once he wasn't as blind as he was before, he found Roy leaning precariously overtop of him. Flanking him was Hawkeye, and standing off to the side of the room was Al, who fidgeted nervously with the strap on his chest plate.

"So you finally decided to wake up," Roy said, chuckling a bit at the end.

Ed rolled over and made an attempt to pull the blanket over his head, but before he could even begin the blanket just disappeared. He fumbled blindly, eyes closed, for the blanket but never found it. Squeezing one eye open, he found Roy, grinning triumphantly, as he held the stolen blanket in his hand. Ed made a grab for it, but Roy pulled it back far enough so it was just out of Ed's reach.

"Give it back," Ed mumbled, reaching out further in an attempt to take back what was stolen from him.

It soon became apparent that Roy was in a taunting mood, for he pulled the blanket further, still, out of Ed's reach.

Stubbornness took charge.

Ed leaned precariously over the edge of the bed, hand outstretched in an attempt to regain the stolen blanket. Ultimately, he failed.

The floor rushed up to meet his face. There was a moment when the only thing he felt was pain. It took a while for him to regain himself enough to realize that his head, which was beginning to hurt, had smacked against the floorboards after falling right off the bed.

He was unable to suppress the groan that escaped him. Voices rose up in alarm, but the words were impossible to make out. Each syllable sounded like the loudest bang of a bass drum, shaking the world and vibrating throughout his brain.

It took a long while to realize that he was lying on his stomach, face squashed against the floor. The thing was, he never would have realized that he was lying face-down if he wasn't rolled onto his back. And when he was rolled, a gasp could be heard coming form one of the three other individuals that occupied the room.

There was a sudden pressure on his face, which sent a confused flurry of thoughts to race through his pounding mind. Another minute it took for him to realize that his nose was bleeding, and that the pressure came from the damp cloth, which was being pressed against his nose to supress the blood that profusely flowed out of his nostrils.

The scent of blood reached him much later than he thought it would have. Some of the blood had also rolled into his mouth, tainting it with a sickly iron tang.

"Edward. Can you hear me? Ed?!"

Ed shifted his gaze from where he, without realizing it, was staring straight at Roy. Leaning against Hawkeye, staring at Roy, with Alphonse nowhere to be seen. Ed blinked slowly, recognition dawning on his face.

"Roy?" He mumbled underneath the cloth, which remained pressed firmly over his nose. "You win." Ed breathed out a soft huff of breath and closed his eyes, tired, and leaned against Hawkeye. "Can I have a coat instead?" He asked quietly.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I'll get you a coat." Roy rose to his feet and, keeping to his promise, quickly grabbed a coat. He returned mere seconds later, the red coat Ed wore at the park tucked safely under his arm. The Colonel practically slid across the floor to Ed, where he helped the boy put the coat on.

By then, his nose had stopped bleeding, and Al had fetched a dripping wet cloth, which Hawkeye was using to wipe the blood off of Ed's face in the meantime.

By the time Ed was wearing a coat and his face was blood free, Roy helped him to his feet, steadying him as the boy began to sway like a blade of grass in the wind.

"Easy now." Roy kept a firm hand on Ed's shoulder. "Don't go falling down again."

Ed shot a glare at Roy. "And who's fault do you think that is?"

Roy threw his arms in the air in surrender. "Okay, okay, It's my fault." he put his arms down again, closing the act. "Anyway, how are you feeling. You seemed to have hit your head pretty hard. And." Roy pointed at Ed's nose. "Does it hurt at all?"

"I'm fine. Nothing hurts." he shrugged off Roy's pointless question and instead shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat. "But why'd you guys have to wake me?"

Roy pondered on that question for a minute before finally saying, "We're going out for a bit. I didn't want to wake you, but you have to come, too."

Ed, confused, gazed at Roy for a minute, before following the trio, almost reluctantly, down the stairs. His bed behind him, which was no doubt warm, seemingly called out to him. He wished he could do that. But he knew that he had to go with Roy, wherever he was going.

* * *

As it turned out, hey drove to HQ, despite the fact that both Roy and Hawkeye had the day off today. It confused Ed, but he decided to not think about it. They were probably there for a reason; whatever it may be.

Ed followed Roy and Hawkeye slowly through the halls, his hands shove into his pockets, and his gaze never wavering from where it remained glued to the floor. They headed for Roy's office and met u with Havoc, who appeared to be waiting there for them.

"Hey, Ed, Al," the smoker greeted.

Ed sniffed the air, recoiling at the stench that seemed to be rolling off Havoc in waves. He must have put out a cigarette not too long ago.

"Edward." Roy's hand landed lightly on his shoulder. "I have a meeting right no. Havoc's going to watch you for a bit. You alright with that?"

Ed shrugged Roy's hand off. "I'm fine. Just...don't take to long." He turned away, gaze drifting to the floor.

"Alright. I'll be back in less than an hour. Lieutenant."

"Sir."

An emptiness opened up inside of him when Roy and Hawkeye left. Their footsteps faded away, in sync with each other. Their blue uniforms disappearing around the corner.

Ed gazed, longingly, at the empty expanse of the hall that stretched out before him. Frown made its way into his face, lips tugging downward. There was a sad look in his eyes and Havoc nearly dragged Ed into the empty office. The boy, not wanting to do anything, sat down heavily on the couch, lost in thought.

Havoc's voice sounded from close to him, but Ed paid no heed to what the smoker was saying. Instead, he longed for Roy to be there. Wished Hawkeye was beside him. He wanted both of them to be with him. He didn't want them to go. Why did they go?

Ed stared at the door, imagining that, any second now, Roy and Hawkeye would walk in, smiling, and take Ed and Al home. But the longer he stared at the door, the more that seemed like a hopeless thought. He turned away, staring at the ground.

A hand suddenly landed on the back startling to the point that Ed spun around and swung his automail fist. A hand caught the metal fist just before it hit Havoc's head.

"Easy there, chief," Havoc said, calm despite almost being punched in the jaw seconds before. "I rather enjoy not having black eyes."

Ed looked away, ashamed. "Sorry. It's just...never mind." He brushed Havoc's hand off his shoulder and turned the other way. Hs gaze remained transfixed on the door, waiting and waiting for Roy to walk through. He would wait for as long as it took.

The sound of a distant clock reached his ears, repeating the same sound over and over again, echoing through the small room. The clock, though quiet, was the only sound to reach his ears. Deaf to the world, the clock seemed to be the only thing that was able to penetrate his surrounding wall. He stared at the door, waiting.

Half an hour passed, and no sign of Roy had been seen in, around, or near the office. Ed's last flame of hope was beginning to die down, and it would continue 'till it was nothing more that a wisps of smoke and a distant, cooling heat. He still waited, knowing that.

His gaze never shattered at it gazed at the door. His vision never faltering for a second. Stiff, still. The door remained closed, but not for long. Sooner or later it had to open. It had to. Ed blinked slowly, gaze slowly, but steadily, moving to the ground, where it never managed to get back up.

Like a fallen soldier, who had lost all hope, his gaze remained glued to the hard wood floor of the office. The oak that seemingly shone into the light.

Ed grit his teeth and swore underneath his breath. However, he continued to stare at the door and, when all hope seemed lost, it opened to reveal Roy and Hawkeye.

Ed jumped to his feet that seconds and ran across the room, throwing his arms around Roy's waist and hugging him.

"Is something wrong?" Roy asked, placing his hand on Ed's shoulder.

Ed shook his head and said, in a voice muffled by Roy's military uniform, "I just missed you. That's all."

There was a moment of silence that lasted several minutes. It didn't bother Ed. In fact, Ed didn't even realize that everyone had stopped talking. The only the only thing that he could hear was Roy's steady heartbeat that echoed in Ed's ear.

Then-

"Edward." Roy pulled away from the boy and knelt on the ground, his hands resting firmly on Ed's shoulders. "Do you like staying with me?"

Ed was slightly taken-aback by the question. Why wouldn't he like staying with Roy. Well, he didn't like it at first, but Roy was just so nice. He really, really did like staying with Roy. Wait! Was Roy trying to kick him out?

"I love staying with you. Please don't kick me out!" Ed practically begged, hugging Roy tightly. "I don't wanna go. Please don't make me."

"Whoa!" Roy was surprised by Ed's sudden clinginess. He pulled the boy away with some difficulty and stared the golden eyes child down. "I'm not going to kick you out. Just listen for a minute." Roy let out a deep breath. "I was trying to ask you if you liked staying with me. I'm not going to kick you out." He tired to control his breathing. "I wanted to know if you wanted to live with me."

"Live with you?" Ed gave Roy a look of pure confusion.

"Yes. Would you and Alphonse allow me to." Roy was noticeably sweating now. There was a large wet mark on the front of his shirt and beads of perspiration rolling down his face. "I want to adopt you and Alphonse!"

* * *

"A-adopt?" Ed was startled. He took a step back, wide eyed and mouth hanging open. "Adopt?" What did he mean, adopt? What? Like Ed a look of shock dominated Havoc's face, and Alphonse, though having no facial expression, was shocked. It was easy to tell since he hadn't moved an inch since Roy said the word 'adopt.'

"Yes, adopt," Roy said. "Hawkeye and I, we both want you to live with us."

Ed couldn't form words. He only managed to pass his gaze from Ry to Hawkeye in complete and utter shock. Adopt?

"But how? Why?" Ed couldn't wrap his mind around it. He was almost sent into a state of panic before Roy gathered Ed gently in his arms.

"Relax," he whispered. "I'll explain everything to you when we get home. Alright?"

* * *

Roy explained everything to Ed, just like he had promised. His meeting with the Fuhrer, Hohenheims will, Ed's State Alchemists license. Everything.

Roy took a deep breath and replayed the speech he had been planning out since walking out of the Fuhrer's office. "I told the Fuhrer, in detail, about your condition. He seemed very sympathetic as I explained everything that was going on with you and how you were desperately trying to cope with the multiple medications you've been on and off for the past few weeks. He said he understood and he doesn't want you to push yourself.

"He read Hohenheims will to me, and said that Hohenheim wished for me to become yours and Al's guardian."

Roy looked at Ed, who was staring at him, eyes wide, shock plastering his face like a mask. After a brief pause, Roy proceeded with his, very bad, speech. "Now, that brings us to the matter at hand. The Fuhrer said that, and I'm quoting him, 'I can't have a dog who can't preform in my military.'" Roy looked at Ed and saw a sadness shadowing Ed's face. "What he means is, if you can't do a successful assessment, you're going to be sent out of the military."

Roy couldn't help but notice that Ed looked like he was ready to cry. "B-but, if I'm not in the military, I'm never going to get Al's body back. And then-"

Roy reached forward and pulled Ed into a hug. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll do fine on your assessment. The Fuhrer knows that you're weaker than usual, and that you're still sick, so I'm pretty sure he'll go easy on you." Roy pet Ed's chair softly. "Your assessment is tomorrow morning. Why don't you get some rest?"

"But, what about the adoption?" Ed asked, voice muffled by the collar of Roy's coat.

"Oh yes, the adoption." Roy cradled Ed in his arms gentle as he explained the next part, unsure about how Ed was going to react. "It was the Fuhrer's idea. He said that since Hohenheim is dead, you and Al were most likely going to be sent to an orphanage, since you're both, technically, orphans. But, he took into consideration your condition, and gave me the option of adopting the two of you. It'll be fast and simple. The Fuhrer trusts me, so there wont be as much paperwork." Roy let out a breath. "Is all this alright with you?"

Ed gave a slight nod against Roy's chest.

The Colonel watched as Hawkeye rose up from her spot on the couch across from and knelt beside Edward. Her outstretched hand landed gracefully on the young boy's shoulder.

"Why don't you go have a nap," she suggested. "You look like you need it."

Ed gave another nod before burrowing his head in Roy's neck. With a small sigh, Roy lifted Ed up in hi arms to carry him to his bed. But even as he sighed, a small smile played out across his lips, and stayed there as he tucked Ed under the covers and flicked off the light.

Ed had fallen asleep well before Roy brought him to his bed, and he continued sleeping, even as he was moved, carried, and rocked from walking. Roy's smile only deepened as he shut the bedroom door with a click and headed for the stairs.

* * *

 **A/N...So there's chapter 28! I just wanted to mention that I didn't read through this chapter and used the spell check on Wattpad to fix any mistakes, so I apologize for miss spelled words and anything that doesn't make sense. Please let me know if you notice anything like that. I am half asleep right now, I have a headache, so sorry if this chapter makes no sense. (and let me know if you think I'm missing a paragraph break somewhere. I have a feeling I might...)**

 **Anyway, thanks to: BigChillFreak, Brenne, inuyashamunkey, Attackoneverything, 1animegal, I Had A Dream, DamenTheDiamond, Cather Elric, Guest, and LilyFlowerPad for reviewing last chapter.**

 **Alright, so I'm planning on posting chapter 29 on the 28th, so if I don't update by then, can someone please remind me? A review or a PM works!**

 **So, that's about it. 'Till next chapter!**


	29. Chapter 29

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 29_**

Tomorrow came a lot sooner than Ed had imagined. You never did appreciate time until you ran out of it. Each hour felt like a minute, as he fruitlessly worried and stressed himself out over the assessment. It wasn't the actual assessment that he was worried about, it was preforming Alchemy. The last time he did so, he lost all of his energy and fainted. What if he fainted during the assessment? In front of the Fuhrer.

Roy had prepared a good breakfast for Ed, since the assessment was at eleven, but the boy spent about half an hour staring blankly at the food before giving up on eating and turning away.

And now that he was at HQ, his stress was only escalating. His flesh hand shook violently as he tried to undo his seat belt nd his flesh leg was barely able to support his weight as he followed Roy into the building.

He seriously felt like throwing up.

"You'll do fine," Roy reassured gently, his hand landing lightly on Ed's shoulder.

Ed only swallowed heavily and nodded.

"Keep the Transmutation simple," Roy reminded him. "Don't over exert yourself."

Again, Ed nodded.

By then, the two of them had reached the usual room where assessments were held. Roy departed from Ed, standing beside the Fuhrer, who stared intently at the waiting boy.

"You may proceed," King Bradley announced.

Ed nodded and quickly tried to think of what he should transmute. A sphere. Yeah, a sphere was easy. He transmuted those all the time. Nervously, Ed threw his hands together and threw them to the floor.

He regret the decision immediately.

Even then, he could feel his strength and energy leaking through his body like a helium balloon losing air. The edges of his vision, which had, just minutes ago, been sharp, were now dusted with a black, which continued to grow until the majority of the room was bathed in black.

The sphere was slowly transmuting, but he couldn't hold it much longer. His strength was far gone and he was barely able to see the ground that was feet from his face.

There was a sudden motion of tipping, and the uneasiness in his stomach increased.

The transmuted sphere lay forgotten on the ground as Ed landed on his side.

The transmutation never completed.

His strength was gone.

There was a flurry of footsteps that shook he ground like an earthquake. Ed groaned as pain suddenly spiked to life in his head. A pathetic moan was the only way to express his vast discomfort and pain to the ground of military officers who were no doubt surrounding him. However, among the throng of blue coats and anxious faces, one man was kneeling on the ground, cradling his limp body in their arms.

The familiar, comforting scent of Roy wafted towards him, wrapping and securing him in its warm embrace. Ed's head fell against Roy's chest, listening to his superiors heart beating rapidly and his chest moving up and down with each deep, strong breath he took.

Voices, most of which held concern, rose up around him, mixing together to make a dizzying harmony of countless different pitches and volumes.

The queasiness in Ed's stomach only grew as the voice sent more fuel to the fire that was his headache. His hand weakly fumbled with the front of Roy's military uniform to look for something, anything, to hold onto. However, instead of finding the heavy material of the uniform, a soft hand gripped his own and squeezed it lightly.

"It's alright, Ed."

This voice was more distinct that the other voices. The deep tone, which was cold so long ago, was laced with a warm calmness that sent Ed spiraling down into a serene calm.

The commotion around him settled down until the only thing he could hear was the thumping heart, and the only thing he could feel was the warmth coming from Roy.

It never lasted long.

He felt Roy's hand gently prod at his arm, shaking him lightly. "Edward, can you stand?" Ed shook his head. "Alright, I'm going to bring you somewhere else, alright?" Without even waiting for Ed's consent, Roy scooped the limp boy into his arms and began to walk somewhere.

Ed couldn't care less where he was going. As long as he was with Roy, he would be safe. His hand weakly found a grip on Roy's military uniform and he clung to it, letting the familiar scent bathe over him.

There was a sudden rush of air as Ed began his decent. The landing was soft and muffled by the cushions of the couch. The warmth momentarily dispersed before something fuzzy bound around him and a cold object was placed onto his forehead covering his eyes.

Ed rolled onto his side and cracked open his eyes. From underneath the white wash cloth, he spotted Roy standing at his desk, talking, panicked, into his phone. Ed watched as the Colonel threw the phone back onto the receiver and rush over to Ed, who followed his slowly with a sluggish gaze.

"Hey, Ed," Roy greeted softly, kneeling on the floor beside the couch. "How are you feeling?"

Ed's reply took several seconds, and ended up being a small shake of the head. He wished he could say 'no', but it was impossible. His stomach felt like it was being twisted in two, and his head hurt, and he felt tired, and he couldn't move. Boy, the world sure did hate him.

Roy reached out a hand and removed the cloth on Ed's head. The cloth was momentarily replaced by Roy's hand before the cloth was returned, high enough so Ed was able to see.

"You have a fever," Roy noted. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Ed shook his head slightly, face sinking into the pillow that had been strategically placed under his head.

"I called the doctor. He should be here soon." Roy moved Ed's head out of the pillow before proceeding the couch more comfortable. He tucked the fuzzy blanket around Ed's frail, shivering body. Ed was lying on his back as he lights to, what he now made out to be Roy's office, were shut off, the only light now being the sunlight that streamed through the windows.

Roy re-wet the cloth before placing it back on Ed's head, allowing it to cover his eyes this time, probably to block out the light that still managed to snake into the room.

The boy closed his eyes and listened silently to the footsteps that etched around the dark room. It appeared at he and Roy were alone, but that was to be expected, since Hawkeye was back at Roy's place with Al. Havoc and the other men on Roy's team had a day off, so there was no reason they would be in the office.

The footsteps signaled that Roy was pacing back and forth across the length of the room, apparently believing that Ed was asleep. The footsteps, which would normally get on his nerves, didn't for some reason. He could barely hear them above the pounding pain in his head, which was blocking out every other noise around him.

Ed couldn't supress the groan that escaped him as he rolled onto his other side. His face was squashed against the back of the cough as he did so, but he was too tired, and frankly feeling too weak, to move back. So he lay there.

He could have worn it was no more than five minutes, although it was probably more, before there was talking in the general direction the door to the office was located. The conversation was too quiet and distant to make out, but it was sure there.

Ed tried to tune into the conversation, but failed when the only thing he made out were the faint echoes that bounced back at him.

The cloth was still on his face, obstructing his vision, so there was no hope of him finding out who the newcomer was, or where Roy currently stood. He figured at the Colonel stood by the door, since that was where the voices were coming from, but now all the sounds had ceases, and Ed couldn't pinpoint Roy's location.

A hand suddenly landed on his shoulder, and since it was unexpected, Ed just barely supressed the scream that threatened to burst from him.

"Edward, it's alright," a warm, soft voice coaxed gently. The cloth that took charge of blinding him, was slowly removed to reveal the smiling, yet anxious face of Roy Mustang. "Dr. Colbert is here to see you."

Ed focused on the figure who had been standing behind Roy with narrowed eyes, concentrating as best as he could. The doctor approached him slowly, setting his bag with a soft thump on the ground beside the couch.

"Hey, Ed," he greeted politely. "I heard you fainted. Can you tell me how you are feeling?"

It took several seconds for Ed to fully comprehend what the doctor was saying, but when he did manage to understand, he gave the old man a worn out look. "I feel sick," the boy admitted, holding back the nausea even then. "And tired. It's hard to move."

A noticable frown spread out on the doctors face as he silently listened to what Ed had to tell him. It was a few seconds before Dr. Colbert opened his bag and pulled out a small flash light. "Just lie down and keep your eyes open, alright?"

Ed snapped his eye shut after realizing what the doctor was planning on doing. There was an irritable huff of breath before fingers gently pried Ed's eyelids open and shone the light straight into his eyes. Both were done and afterward, Ed spent a while trying to blink the black spots out of his vision.

"Alright. Edward, could you sit up for a minute?" Dr. Colbert asked gently. He waited patiently for an answer. Probably giving Ed his time, since the boy as too groggy and disoriented to understand much.

With a lot of help from the doctor, Ed managed to successfully push himself into a sitting position. It proved harder than he originally thought, and now that he was up, he was even more tired than before. But he still had to sit there.

Dr. Colbert pulled a stethoscope out of his bag with one hand while he used the other to hold Ed upright, since there was a very good chance that the boy would fall over if there was nothing supporting.

A noticeable shiver passed through Ed's spine as the cold metal disk was placed onto his chest. He tried to move it away, but Dr. Colbert gently dragged Ed's hand down.

"It's just going to be for a minute," he sad softly. "Now, can you take a deep breath for me?"

Ed nodded and did a she was told. However, once he reached him maximum intake of air, he doubled over, coughing. The doctor lightly pat his back as Ed tried to act out what coughing up your lungs was like. Once finished with the heavy task, Ed couldn't help but find himself fall forward and right into the waiting arms of the doctor.

The boy's head hit the doctors chest as his eyes slid closed. Everything grew dull after that.

The room, which was dark to begin with, seemed to be clouded with a black mist that clung to each and every object in the office. The streams of light seemed to be dull and lifeless. Like an artificial light rather than the rays of the sun.

Ed couldn't figure out what was going on. Everything moved slowly. Everything sounded far away. Nothing made sense.

The boy blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the, now swirling, images that raced around the room, making him lightheaded. In a few seconds, Ed felt himself being lowered onto the couch again, the cloth taking back its post and blinding him once again. Now, Ed was forced to listen to the voices that were discussing something very important close to him. But he couldn't even make out a word. The only thin he did hear was a mix of tones and pitches, all swirling together to form something that sounded like a toddler playing a violin.

He couldn't hear anything clearly, but he could feel the hand on his forehead, running across his hairline and down the side of his head, where it stopped. Ed instinctively leaned into the warm touch, not caring who the hand belonged to. It was warm, and that's all he cared about.

"Edward, we have to go," a voice broke into his thoughts.

Ed felt soft hands gently grabbing onto him. "Up you go," a voice said softly in sync as Ed was lifted onto Roy's back. A small, barely audible moan erupted from Ed as he was exposed to the cold, stale air of the office. However, seconds later, a blanket was draped over him and the warmth quickly returned.

Ed tucked his head into Roy's neck as the older man began to walk.

* * *

The room in which Ed currently resided was quiet, save for the few stray noises from the world outside and his own breathing.

Ed stared up at the roof, eyebrows knit together in concentration and subconsciously chewing on his lower lip deep in concentration.

It had been about a half hour since he woke up to find Roy anxiously checking on him. Insisting that eh was fine, Ed sent Roy out of the room, fed up within the old mans constant worrying. But now he was wondering if sending Roy away was the smartest thing to do. He wasn't feeling sick, don't get him wrong, he was just lonely.

With a sigh, Ed pushed himself up, struggling a bit since he was still weak from the assessment the previous day. It was hard to sit up or walk, but he still forced him to do those small things, even though Roy gave him strict instructions to stay in bed.

The concentration returned to Ed's face as he swung his feet off the bed and allowed them to hit the floor with a barely audible thump. Now came the hard part. Mustering up all of his strength, Ed pushed himself to his feet. It was harder than he thought. He nearly fell over, and the only reason he didn't was because there was a night table beside the bed, which he grabbed onto. If it weren't for that table, Ed would have fallen on his face.

Now that he was standing up, Ed had a clear path to the window. His trek across the room was a dangerous one filled with many perils he must overcome. When he made it there, he was exhausted and was forced to rely heavily on the windowsill to prevent himself from collapsing right there.

But the view was worth it.

The bedroom was on the second floor of Roy's house, so the view was amazing. The driveway was located someway beneath him, while the brilliant blue sky spread out in the sky. The neighbouring houses were barely in the outside image. The wooded area, which lay directly cross the street from Roy's house and spanned a good four hundred meters in either direction, was just beginning to blossom a brilliant green, a sure sign spring was there.

Ed smiled to himself as he stared at the world outside the small house where he had been for the past few weeks.

But each sight, no matter how beautiful it may be, always had its flaw. Sometimes the flaw was faint and almost, if not impossible to find. But there were times when the one ting that made te scenery imperfect were undoubtedly noticeable. Right now was one of the times when the flaw was faint, but Ed could see it. One of Roy's neighbours, in the house to the right, an argument currently burned like fire. The owners of the house and who Ed figured were their visitors, shouted at each other. Ed was to far away to know what they were saying, but he could see them well enough to know what was going on. Their body language was the key factor.

But the thing that broke Ed's heart was the sight of tree small children cowering behind a small hedge, scared of the current argument.

Ed felt his hand tighten its grip on the windowsill, his emotions tangled. Sadness tried to consume him, taking advantage of his dropped guard the moment that scene hit his eyes. But at the same time, anger burned through him, tearing through his veins. A white hot anger no amount of water could quench.

Is knuckles turned a ghostly shade of white, but he only tightened his surprisingly strong grip.

That's when a hand landed upon his shoulder, startling Ed slightly, having not expected someone to be in the room. The blond turned around to find Roy gazing sadly down at him, as if he, too, was effected by the scene next door.

"Don't let it bother you," the Colonel told him, stiffly. "They'll make up eventually. They always do."

Ed allowed his gaze to travel downward and hit the ground. It remained there, wavering slightly as he attempted to focus intently on the ground. "I know. It's just... never mind."

There was a long silent pause, in which Ed forced himself to keep his gaze away from the window. Just as he felt the emptiness filling him like a cup, Roy's hand landed on his shoulder again.

"Why don't we go downstairs. Hawkeye's here."

Without waiting for Ed's answer, Roy guided Ed, who was too wrapped dup in his thoughts to see clearly, out of the room and down the stairs.

The blond hadn't even realized he was downstairs before two different, yet familiar voices called out his name. Ed looked up, pulled from his thoughts, to find Hawkeye and Alphonse sitting on opposite sides of the kitchen table. It was obvious that the two of them had been having a conversation until Ed walked into the room. He must have distracted them, and knowing that made him feel bad.

His guilt trip didn't last long, however, because a furry, black and white dog suddenly barked, distracting him. Ed stared at Black Hayate, who had just been sleeping under the table, was now barking excitedly and tugging at the leash attached to his collar as if trying to get away from the tether.

"Good morning, Ed," Hawkeye greeted, smiling a bit as she said it.

Ed only stared, unsure about what to say. Well, that was until Roy nudged his shoulder gently and signalled for him to answer, which he did, with a shaky, "Hello."

"I thought you'd never wake up, brother," Al began, igniting a friendly, lighthearted conversation. "You've been sleeping for so long."

After failing to find the clock that was usually located in the kitchen, Ed turned to Roy. " time is it?"

Roy flipped open the silver State Alchemist that was in the pocket of his standard clothing and repeated the time he read on the face of the clock to Ed. "It's about twelve. You've been asleep for a while."

Ed looked at the floor one again. "Oh. You could have woken me if I was sleeping too long." his voice was broken and shattered as he talked. Something like a shell from it's former glory.

"Don't worry about it." Roy pat Ed's shoulder in a reassuring manner, a smile gracing his face. "I was hoping you slept for a while. You really looked like you needed your sleep yesterday. Now, how about you go get something to eat."

Ed shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

 _LIAR!_

Ed mentally winced at the harshness of his own inner voice. So what if he was lying? He didn't want to eat. It was easy enough to supress his hunger, and frankly, he had a feeling that he'd most likely throw up if he ate. And he knew he certainly didn't want to do that. Hunger seemed better at that moment.

But still...

Ed shook his head and mentally slapped himself. What was he thinking? He didn't have to eat. It wasn't necessary.

But if eating wasn't necessary, then why did he feel himself being drawn to the fridge like a mysterious forced pulled him by string. His feet remained rooted to the ground, however, but he struggled to keep himself still.

It soon became apparent that Roy knew he was hungry. Ed couldn't help but stare, wide-eyed, at the half empty bag of cereal that dangled from Roy's hand.

"Do you want it?" Roy offered, ringing the bag closer to Ed.

Ed shook his head quickly and adverted his eyes from the food. He was so hungry.

A low, deep growl cut through the silent room. It sounded as it had come from Hayate, since the growl sounded like that of a dog, but the reality of it was it came from Ed's stomach. Without any food in his stomach, the angry beast was beginning to stir, growling softly for the food it wanted.

 _Damn it!_

Ed changing his mind at the last possible second, gave his head a small nod and reached forward to grab the bag, which Roy happily gave him.

With bangs shielding his expression like a soft curtain, Ed shuffled slowly to the kitchen table and fell heavily into a chair, avoiding any possible form of eye contact that there was. His bangs acted as a natural barrier, shielding everything from him, and him from everything. No one could see the expression on his face or the pain in his eyes. When his bangs fell, a barrier was formed, and the outside world was separated from him.

He ate the food slowly, still unsure about whether or not he should be eating. If his stomach was prone to getting upset, shouldn't he refrain from eating? Butt now that there was some food in his stomach, he didn't feel as sick as he did when he first woke up. Maybe he was just feeling sick because of hunger.

Ed reached his hand into the bag and pull out...empty air? His gaze turned disappointed when he saw that the bag was empty except for the air that filled it. A frown tugged at his lips as he walked across the kitchen and tossed the bag into the garbage.

All eyes were on him as he walked back to his spot at the table. It made him feel uncomfortable, with all those gazes burning him, staring into his soul. It made him feel very self conscious and unsure about what he should do.

Should he say something?

No. It was probably best to keep his mouth shut.

That was until:

"Edward, do you want to take Black Hayate for a walk?"

Ed turned, surprised, and found Hawkeye holding the red leash out towards Ed. The leash was attached to the small black and white mutt that sat loyally at the Lieutenants heels. Ed hesitated before giving his head a reluctant nod and taking the leash in his hand.

The boy looked at Roy, as if asking for permission to go out. The Colonel's head bobbed up and down a few times. Go.

At the signal Ed stood, but not after Alphonse decided to join him.

"Alphonse, can you stay here?" Roya asked, holding the armor back with one hand.

"But-"

"Please." Roy and Al stared at each other for several long minutes before Alphonse nodded his head.

"Alright."

Ed looked from Roy to Al, not knowing what to say. Roy wasn't letting Al come? What was going on?

Hawkeye tugged at the leash, intent on going out now, but Ed barely registered the tightening leash which he clutched in his hands. His gaze kept passing from Roy to Al in a complete shock, unsure about what to do, what to say, or what to even think. He just couldn't.

In the end, he ended up nearly chocking on his spit, which he swallowed thickly, before turning and taking off at a run out of the house

Once outside, the fast pace turned into that of a paced walk. The breeze that blew in his face tossed his hair around, blinding him with his bangs. Hayate trudged behind him, and like Ed without any idea where they were going.

The two of them silently passed the house which was the former host of a heated argument Without ever realizing it, Ed had kept his eyes tightly closed as he walked briskly past, not wanting to see anything. When he passed and the house was behind him, Ed hesitantly opened his eyes again.

His gaze focused only on the round in front of him, and all he could hear were the pounding footsteps as his feet hit the cement. Each step he took sounded different, not much, but noticeably.

 _Clank._

Thump.

 _Clank._

Thump.

Ed subconsciously gripped the leash tighter as he rounded a corner. Further and further he went. Never looking back, keen on only getting as far away as he could. Hawkeye seemingly led him further from Roy's house, but soon the familiar house disappeared form view, the dog stopped and, despite being very obedient, stopped in his tracks and sat on the ground, refusing to move.

Ed gave the leash a sharp tug, attempting to get the dog to move, but failing miserably. Eventually giving up on moving, Ed sat on the ide of the sidewalk, feet planted at the very edge of the lonely road.

Hayate vocalized a small bark, which got Ed 's attention seconds after. The blond boy looked at the dog, eyebrow raised. "What'd you want?"

Hayate rose up and padded over to Ed, where he sat beside him and looked straight up into Ed's eyes with pleading puppy-dog eyes. The boy shrugged before petting the dog slowly. Hayate, satisfied, allowed his fluffy tail to wag back and forth in happiness.

"Why're you so happy?" Ed demanded lightly, confused to some degree.

His petting halted for a few moments, and in that time, Hayate had turned to look up at Ed, pleadingly, as if begging the boy to pet him again, which Ed did, without any consideration.

The dog then, for whatever reason, put his head on Ed's lap. As the two sat there, on the quiet street, void off noise and distractions, Ed's had dipped down, at ease and more relaxed than he had felt for days.

The fresh air on his face was so nice. So nice that he couldn't help but allow the faint smile to grace his face, which had dipped down, his chin resting on his chest.

Despite the wind being cold, Ed felt generally warm. Whether t was from the dog lying on his lap or the thick coat, Ed didn't know, nor did h care. It didn't matter if he was warm or cold. He wouldn't have even noticed he was hot of cold if he wasn't, for some reason, thinking about it.

Ed sighed a small sigh as his eyes slid shut.

* * *

 **A/N...Hello everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I had to post it today because I have been on this site for exactly one year today! I started writing stories about a year ago, too. So, yeah...**

 **Thanks to: BigChillFreak(last chapter you mentioned that your birthday was on the 29th, so happy early birthday!(or birthday, or late birthday, depends when you read this)), Attackoneverything, inuyashamunkey, I Had A Dream, lexiconextreme, 1animegal, Brenne, Lily, and Gust for reviewing last chapter.**

 **So, I apologize for any spelling mistakes or anything that makes no sense. I'm so tired and have no energy to proof read my stories (procrastination!)**

 **This A/N is getting too long, so I'll stop it here! 'Till next chapter!**


	30. Chapter 30

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 30_**

"Why can't I go, too?" Alphonse demanded for the hundredths time since Ed and Hayate departed.

"Just please listen to me," Roy pleaded, blocking the towering suit of armor from walking out the front door and go after Ed.

Many times in the past five minutes, Roy had been forced to drag Al back into the house to keep him from going after his brother. He literally dragged him by the arm, with Hawkeye's help, back into the house. But it now became apparent that no sort of reason was penetrating the helmet's exterior.

Roy let out a frustrated sigh, fed up with this, and raised his voice, which was something he often refrained from doing. "Alphonse, what I need to discuss with you, is something only you need to hear." Now, that got Al's attention.

The armor turned, struggling and protests ceasing, as Roy began to explain exactly what he needed to tell Al urgently. ""

"Please don't blame yourself, but," Roy began, "Edward's anxiety has been increasingly steadily ever since you got back. I think it's because he blames himself for not restoring your bod, and now he doesn't think he can." Roy let out a slow breath before continuing, almost reluctantly. "I was hoping that you could talk to Ed when he gets back and tell him that you don't blame him."

Al was frozen. He stared at Roy with his soul fire eyes staring, unblinking, at him. "Brother thinks that?" He almost whispered.

Roy nodded, for some reason feeling bad and somewhat guilty for telling this all to Al in a few seconds without any warning. Alphonse, despite how intimidating and frightening he may look in that possessed suit of armor, he was just a twelve year old boy, so news like this is probably hard on him.

Roy nodded. "I think you should tell Ed how you feel about that, and tell him to not worry. It'll probably help him get better faster and get rid of his anxiety."

Al nodded. "Alright, I'll tell him."

Roy forced a stiff smile. "Good. I'll go find him. Just wait here for a bit, alright?"

Al gave nothing but a small odd, which Roy never got to see, for the Colonel had already left the house in search of Ed.

As he walked down the street, he kept his eyes open for any sight of Ed. It took quite a while, but just as he was thinking about getting Hawkeye to blow her dog whistle, he saw a small form huddled near the edge of the sidewalk.

Roy's suspicions turned out to be correct after closing a few feet of the gap separating him and the figure.

Golden hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Roy knew not another person with golden hair as striking and full of life as Ed's. When the sun was shining, it looked as though Ed was made out of gold. His eyes, too, were as bright and as breathtaking as his hair.

"Edward," Roy called cupping his hands over his mouth as he did so. His heart nearly stopped when Ed didn't respond. Hayate responded to the voice, but Ed didn't.

Roy took a few heavy, numb steps forward, fearing for the worst. The few feet distance between him and the young boy felt lie miles upon miles of walking uphill. It was as if the fear of what he might find was holding him back.

But the second he saw Ed close up, it felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. A small smile appeared on his face and relief washed over him. The boy was just sleeping.

It was impossible to supress the chuckle that burst from him. To think that he thought Ed was dead. Roy shook his head as he knelt own, hand outstretched and shaking Ed gently.

"Edward, wake up. We're going home," Roy ordered lightly, loud enough just to wake Ed up.

This time, thankfully, Ed responded. It relived Roy even though the response was nothing more than a small moan. A complaint about being woken up in such a cold place, Roy figured, frowning.

It still baffled him how on earth Ed could manage to fall asleep on the side of the room in the cold. It would take Roy hours to get even a margin closer to sleep, since he was always on edge when walking out alone.

His wonder didn't last long before a small grin tugged his lips upward, chasing away the concentration which formerly dominated his features.

He tried, once again, to awaken Ed to the point where the boy was able to walk back to the house on his own two feet.

Roy knelt down and used both his hands in an attempt to shake Ed to wakefulness. The boy's eyes fluttered open slowly, unfocused and confused.

"Edward," Roy said softly, so to not disturbed the boy. He figured that it'd be an odd feeling waking up on the side of a street. Especially since your head tended to be fuzzy the first several minutes after waking up.

"Where?" Ed mumbled.

Roy reached out with his hand and gently hooked his arm around Ed before the poor boy feel over. He was leaning so heavily to the right that he looked like he could fall over any second. "Sitting at the edge of the road five minutes away from my place," Roy explained, once he was sure Ed wasn't going to fall over.

"Hmm?" Ed mumbled, leaning heavily against Roy's hand, which wrapped around Ed like a snake. "I'm tired,' the boy mumbled, head dipping down and eyes sliding shut.

"You can sleep when we get home, okay?" Roy asked, sternly. He did not want to end up having to carry Ed all the way back home. If the boy wasn't hurt and had the capabilities of walking, then he would do so.

But that thought didn't last long, for a few minutes later, Roy was lifting Ed onto his back and heading down the street. Nd boy was Ed heavy.

Roy stooped under the tremendous weight and his feet managed to drag along the ground. Now that Ed was eating more and had most of his body fat back, he was becoming quite heavy. Roy grit his teeth and kept on walking.

It took no more than ten minutes, double the time of walking back without carrying a heavy bundle. About halfway through the walk, Roy began to hear snoring coming from Ed. He realized then that Ed had fallen back asleep, despite the strict instructions Roy had given him. But, there was always the possibility that Ed never heard what Roy had said. The boy was half asleep and not really aware of anything.

So there as no surprise when the soft snoring reached Roy's ears.

Along with the snoring, a soft, warm breath hit Roy's neck ever few seconds or so. The breath was oddly warm in comparison to the early spring breeze that currently blew. It may be the breeze of spring, but there were still traces of winter in it. Adding a hill to the otherwise relaxing breeze.

By the time Roy made it back to his place, his back had finally begun to protest against the heavy weight. Screaming pain shot through his spine, which cracked after he stretched.

He had settled Ed safely on the couch an tucked the young boy in with a blanket. Now all he had to do was wait until Ed was awake. Whenever that may be.

Roy found himself content to just watch Ed sleeping on the couch. It made him feel proud that Ed had come so far since that day he was brought into the office. He seems so full of life. There was color in his face, and there was a rosy red tint to his cheeks. Unlike that day, when Ed's face had been pale and hot to the touch.

Roy leaned forward and ran his hand across of Ed's forehead, smiling softly.

"Thank you for pulling though," he whispered, halting half way across Ed's forehead. "Thank you."

* * *

Ed stirred awake, not to the noise, or the cold, or the touch, but to the deep pit deep in his stomach. The uneasy feeling deep in his gut that was caused not by illness or anxiety, but from something unknown to even him. He couldn't figure out why he felt like this, but it was enough to wake him up.

Hs eyes fluttered open to meet the familiar textured room of Roy's living room. After the sight, the warm scent of dinner strangled him.

The thing was, Ed never realized that he was drooling until the amused voice kindly pointed out that small fact to him, causing him to turn several deep shades of red as he quickly, and sloppily, wiped away the drool that ran its way down his chin.

When Ed turned, he discovered Roy sitting on what appeared to be a stool beside the couch in which he currently reside. Ed blinked slowly trying to remember why exactly he was sleeping onto he couch.

He clearly recalled looking out the window of his room after waking up, and feeling depressed by what he saw. And then going out on a walk with Black Hayate, and then-

Realization dawned on Ed suddenly, giving an entire new reason for his face to turn several shades of red. He couldn't have fallen asleep on the side of the road. There was just no way. But, the more he thought about it, there more likely it seemed.

Damn it.

Ed twisted his head away from Roy and mumbled into the couch, "Did I...Did I really fall asleep on the edge of the road?"

"Yes," Roy replied, as if the question didn't even faze him.

"Sorry," Ed mumbled, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Roy asked innocently, obviously clueless to why Ed was apologizing.

"For fallin' asleep where I did." Ed took a few seconds to regain himself and steady his breathing. When he did, he resumed where he had left off, rather reluctantly. "And makin' you carry me back."

"Don't worry about it," Roy announced. "You were so light that I forgot that you were even there."

Ed turned back to face Roy, giving him a look that stated he wasn't fooled. Wasn't Roy suppose to be clever, being a Colonel in the military and all that. And he'd been living with Ed for so long that he was bound to know the weight of a single automail limp when it wasn't connected to the body. Two steel limbs made Ed heavy even if he was sick or hadn't eaten for two weeks. Roy was lying to him. Ed knew it.

But, despite knowing the truth, Ed decided against telling Roy fr many reasons and played along. It was the only thing there was to do now.

"Alright. But...I'm still sorry." Ed pulled the thin blanket that was resting overtop of his waist up to his shoulders and turned away again, shielding himself with the material and curling up tight.

He would have stayed in that position for all eternity if it weren't for the hand that gently shook his shoulder after several minutes of silence. Saying something in a soft voice as a warmness drifted towards him.

Ed turned slowly, only to find Hawkeye leaning over him, a steaming plate in her hand. There was a smile on her face, despite the concern tat was etched into her face. Her eyes were bright, but wavered as he looked at Ed's face. Ed could only stare back, unsure about what to do, or if he should say anything.

Soon enough, his decision was made for him when Hawkeye brought the plate into his line of view, displaying its contents.

Ed stared at it for a brief moment before turning away abruptly, averting his eye from the food. He didn't want to eat it. But the smell was so good. No. He wasn't going to eat it and that was final.

But just then. Hawkeye decided to lay her hand on Ed's shoulder, and spoke in a motherly voice, "Just try a bit of it, please. I'm sure you'll like it."

Ed stared at the lieutenant for several long minutes, gaze sad, before turning away and burrowing his head under the blanket. He focused on his surroundings and heard a sigh and retreating footsteps.

"He's not eating," an anxious voice said from the other side of the room. Ed could tell just by the tone that he wasn't suppose to hear what was being said. But despite that, Ed turned into the conversation, keen on finding out what was being said.

"I had a feeling he was going to reject the food. Here, let me talk to him."

Footsteps came back into the room, but there ones were different. They hit the ground in a different manner than the last. More heavy, as if the person carried himself more highly than the last.

When the footsteps finally ceased to make sound, the room fell, once again, into a silent void. The silence only grew steadily for several moments that felt like years until a soft voice spoke up from near Ed's head.

"Edward, is something bothering you?" the familiar, comforting voice of Roy broke into Ed's difficult and tangled thought process.

"I feel sick," Ed muttered after waiting several long minutes after the last of Roy's voice died away. It wasn't an entire lie. He did feel sick. But that wasn't the only reason. There was something bothering him that eh didn't want to tell anyone. Something he couldn't tell anyone.

A soft hand landed on Ed's shoulder lightly. "Ed, are you sure you don't want some dinner?"

Ed gave that question very little thought before answering. His reply was nothing but a shake of his head. Why did Roy keep forcing him to eat when he didn't want to? Why couldn't he just eat on his own accord? Why was everything out of his control?

Edward fumbled with the corner of the blanket; rolling it between his flesh fingers. It was all he could do to distract himself from the overwhelming throng of thoughts that raced through his mind. The softness of the blanket wasn't enough to fully draw him away from his thought process, but it was just barely enough to supress the sudden temptation to cry.

He knew that he'd feel better if he cried, but his pride wouldn't let him. No matter what he did, he refused to let any more tears break through. Despite everything he'd worked toward floating away, he still had a chance to recall it. So, until the day he restores Al, he won't cry.

But, maybe it would be easier now, in the present, to cry instead of waiting for the future.

The hand that landed on his shoulder, the soft voices that spoke to him. Everything that happened in that second led him to where he was now:

Balled up tightly on the couch, face shoved between his knees, and trying his best not to cry. Lie always, the world liked toying with him so much that it was getting ridiculous. Wasn't it bad enough that he was brought down to this level? But no; the world just wanted to add a but more to his suffering.

"Edward, It's alright. I'm here if you need me. Hawkeye's here, too. And Alphonse."

Ed could feel Roy's hand on his shoulder, still. It never left. Ed bit his lower lip lightly, so as not to bite through it like the last time, and dug the nails into his palm, sending a small ain through his hand. He had thought that maybe a little bit of pain might distract him from the current situation like it usually did, but this time it wasn't. He couldn't see anymore. The back of the couch was a smudge of water colors that wouldn't go away no matter how many times he blinked.

"Edward, look at me," Roy ordered softly.

Ed refused. Not because he didn't want to look at Roy, but because he didn't want anyone to see him crying in such a state.

The tears which he had been trying so hard to hold back all this time were streaming down his face in a newly gained freedom. Ed wiped them away sloppily, but gave up very quickly. Instead, he just resorted to pressing his face into the mattress in hopes that no one would see him.

"Edward, how about we go upstairs?" Roy suggested softly, hand brushing against the side of Ed's face. "It's warmer up there than here. Come on. Let's go."

Before Ed had any chance to protest about moving, he was already being moved off the couch. Now he was standing on the floor, head hanging low, Roy's arms around his shoulder. The kid's shoulders shook from the sobs that passes through and his face was wet to the touch. Flesh hand hastily wiping away the tears and automail hand gripping the cornet of Roy's shirt loosely.

"Ed." Roy nudged Ed lightly on his side. "Let's go."

The Colonel slowly guided Ed through the room, keeping to Ed's slow, shuffling pace. But ti became too much for Ed. The boy stopped just short of stepping onto the stairs, and instead grabbed onto the railing, hunching over, bangs falling in front of his face.

The tears that fell down, against gravity, blinded him, forced him to look at his worst fears and realize something. Why couldn't he just say it? Spit it out? All of his bottle dup pain would go away if he did, so why did he keep it down? Why was his mouth too tightly sealed?

His hand gripped the polished railing hard with his automail hand, successfully managing to dent the well crafted structure.

"Edward? Ed?"

But that voice, which begged to be answered, was ignored. Ed turned way from Roy, defeated.

He wanted to move forward to admit everything, but his legs were stuck to the ground and his will wouldn't move. Frozen in place, nothing worked. Voices rose up around him, but even those were so closed off that Ed couldn't make heads or tails of the words. All of the syllables, low and distant, could be heard. But the words that accompanied them were lost.

So there, Ed cried. Falling to the ground, knees hitting the floor, and cried. He cried for the pain deep within him. For the unreleased anguish deep in his soul. He cried because he couldn't hold it in any longer. He cried because that was all he could do.

Everything was a blur. Nothing made sense. The voices, the warmth, the touch of reassuring hands. Nothing penetrated his wall enough to get close. Nothing, and no one, could calm his crying or comfort him now. He was too far away.

But, ten it happened. The one thing that had any hope of drawing Ed back from his despair.

That childish voice that echoed around the room, and that cold touch of its hands. The hard exterior, but soft soul. Ed turned, slowly, and found himself staring into the face, though shielded, he wished he could stare at forever.

Ed buried his head deep into the chest plate of his younger brother and balled silently, arms wrapped partly around the cold steel that enclosed the soul.

Ed closed his eyes and let the tears fall and drip onto the floor and armor. A hand rubbed his back, holding him close, offering soft words to him. Ed sank forward, balled up, and trembling. Hands wrapped around him, lifting him upwards, stroking his hair.

The boy fumbled around until his hand caught Al's, which he held close to his heart. He wasn't going to let Al get away from him. Not ever. Never. He would hold on for as long as it took. He'd never let it get away.

"Brother?' Al's voice broke in, shattering Ed even more.

Ed turned his gaze upward and stared straight into his younger brother's face, guilt welling up. With a shaky hand, Ed reached forward and pat the top of Al's helmet with car.

"I-I'll get you back," he whispered, broken. "I-I p-promise. I-I'll g-g-get you...I'll get y-you back s-soon. S-so j-jus' y-ou wa-wait."

Ed slammed his eyes closed. A soft hand wiped away his tears lightly, whispering to him.

"It's alright. I'll wait for as long as it takes. Just get better first."

"...Th-thank you," Ed whispered, voice faint.

As his crying decreases, the voices did as well, until the only thing to be heard into that small room was the occasional clanking of the armor and Ed's dying sobs.

With his head shoved into Al's shoulder, he never saw where he was going after finally being lifted off the cold, hard ground. I didn't matter to him where he was going. It would be fine, wherever he went, if he was with Al. If he was with Al, than he'd go anywhere and do anything. All that mattered was that Al was with him.

So he as being carried, nestled into he cold steel arms of his brother. Despite the steel being cold, the soul was warm. It was warm enough that Ed could feel it, beneath the armor, the high degree of kindness and carelessness emitting from beneath the cold steel shell. It was there, and Ed knew it.

A small panic overtook him when the steel vanished and was replaced with a soft cushion, but the hand reappeared second later, sliding into Ed's palm and letting the boy grasp hold of it before it disappeared.

"Brother?"

Ed opened his eyes, acknowledged that he had heard.

"I don't blame you for anything," Al said softly. "So please stop blaming yourself. I might be in this body, but I've experienced far more now than I ever have. I don't care if I have to be stuck here for one year, two, or even a decade. As long as I have you, I'm happy. And I want you to be happy, too, brother."

"A-Al." The ceased tears welled up in his eyes again but he refused to let them fall. Not now, when he had so much to say. "I will get you back. Just you believe it. I'll get you. You won't have to stay like that forever. I...I want to see your smiling face again, if it's the last thing I do."

"I believe in you, brother," Al whispered. "If we work hard, we can make things right again."

Ed smiled and gripped Al's hand a fraction tighter, even if he couldn't feel the small binding pressure. "I love you, Al."

"I love you, too, brother."

* * *

 **A/N...So that's chapter 30.I decided to post this chapter early for no reason. I just felt like posting this chapter. So here's an early chapter and I hope you enjoyed. A big thanks to Brenne, 1animegal, Attackoneverything, and I Had A Dream for reviewing last chapter. I didn't get much reviews last chapter, but I'm so glad that you four left a review. I really, really, really appreciate it.**

 **Announcement: There are only three more chapters for this story (chapter 33 will be the last chapter if I counted right). I was hoping that this story will be able to reach 300 reviews by the end, but I'm unsure. If you're kind enough to leave a review, I will appreciate it so much (every review counts! even a 'great' or 'good chapter' is fine). I know this is a lot to ask, but maybe, just maybe this can happen. If not, I don't mind. I'm just happy this story has so many reviews as it is.**

 **I want to apologize if the recent chapters I have posted are confusing or have sentences that don't make any sense. I'm really, really sorry, but school has started last month, and I have PE every day, for over an hour, and my PE teacher makes us run for about half that time. I'm really tired. I've also been working hard on that AU story I mentioned in the A/N several chapters ago. I'm not planning on posting it until I've finished writing it though. So far it's 40,000 words, but It's nowhere near done, and I've been putting more attention into that story than this one, since, in my opinion, my writing is better in that story.**

 **That's about all I have to say. Until next chapter!**


	31. Chapter 31

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 31_**

Ed slept through the evening without any disturbances or nightmares. His hand remained looped with Al's even as he slept; never letting go. Even thought it as weak and limp, he managed to keep the grip the way it was; determined and stubborn.

When he awoke, he didn't know what to expect. His mind was slow to process anything in a decent amount of time and everything was kind of fuzzy around the edges. The few things he was able to make out clearly, however, was Alphonse's armored body and Roy's sleeping, hunched over form.

Al, who was staring straight at Ed, alerted Roy once the boy had woken up. The Colonel leapt to attention, following Al's gaze downwards until it, too, landed on Ed.

"Good morning, Ed," Ry greeted cheerfully, a smile gracing his face. "How was your sleep?"

"Fine," Ed admitted tiredly, yawning slightly, eyes watering. "What time is it?"

"About eight," Al replied instantly, before Roy even had a chance to check his watch. "You slept right through Hayate's howling, which was extremely loud."

A grumpiness dominated Roy's featured. He crossed his arms. "Yeah. I had a headache for an hour afterwards."

Ed couldn't help but smile as he leaned into the pillow. Then he realized something. His left hand, which lay beside him, continues to link with Al's larger hand. It was no longer cold, but warm; warmed by Ed's body warmth. His gaze momentarily wavered before focusing again on Al's familiar, steel masked face.

"Al," Ed began. "Can we go downstairs?"

Both Al and Roy exchanged glances and a silent message was passed between the two in a code that Ed was unable to comprehend or understand.

"Alright, brother, "A l agreed. However, as he said that decision, there was a reluctance in his voice that made Ed wonder one thing:

Did Al even want him out of bed?

And if he didn't; why?

Pushing that useless thought out of his mind, Ed clambered out of the bed easily. However, he had to ignore the weakness that still lingered in his system. He was also forced to ignore the stared and burning gazes of Roy and Al as they led him downstairs.

Something must have happened when he was sleeping. Something that effected him. But what was it? What made Roy and Al so hesitant to let him out of his room.

He never found out.

So he kept walking in a straight path; sometimes a curving path, until he was in the kitchen. Sometimes he came to regret the actions he took. Sometimes he was glad that he went down one path instead of the other. But there were also those times when he couldn't decided if his actions were the right one and his path was the correct one.

This was one of those times that his decisions seemed unclear, and his actions belonged in neither category.

Maybe it was just the kitchen that had brought this upon him, or maybe it was the time. Maybe if he went the other direction this wouldn't have happened. Or maybe if he stayed in bed and didn't ask to leave everything would be alright.

But, like every action or at that led to something like this, he would never know what the future would have been like if he went the other way, or took one step less.

But for now, all he could focus on was the rush of with, the blow of heat, and the panic that engulfed him. The numbness that crept through his flesh limbs and traveled through his body. The ragged breathing that made him gasp for air. The shivering that shook his body to the core.

There were voices, too. Calling out his name. Begging him to answer.

He could feel warm hands caressing him and soft words being spoken among the panic.

Ed shifted his gaze around until it landed on a face, which stared at him anxiously. "R-Roy?"

"I'm right here, Ed." Roy's anxious face appeared above him. "Alphonse is getting help right now. Everything's going to be okay."

"It's cold," Ed moaned in a voice so weak that it didn't even sound like him. "M-my head hurts."

Roy looked concerned, but a smile forced its way onto his face, chasing away the other emotion until it was nothing but a distant echo, hidden behind the overlaying emotions. "How about we move you to the couch?"

Ed nodded his head weakly.

Roy nodded as well, signaling that he saw Ed, before putting one hand behind Ed's knees an the other one on his upper back. On a silent, distant count of three, Roy lifted Ed's limp form off the hard, cold floor and carried him carefully across the room until he very gently placed him onto the soft couch cushions. He toped it off with a thin blanket in order to trap any heat in Ed's weakened, shivering form.

"R-Roy," Ed whispered, struggling even to form words at this point. "M-my...he...ad."

"Yes, I know," Roy stated in a whispered voice. "Just bear with me for a bit. The doctor's going to come, alright. Shh, don't cry."

But that last part was never heard by Ed, who already had tears streaming down his face like a rain shower. He couldn't keep it back. He was scared. Truly scared. He didn't know what was going on. It was all a big, unfocused blur. The pain in his head was increasing and his eyes hurt. It felt like his stomach had twisted in two. It was too much. He wanted t get away. To leave and never return.

But just then, when Ed wanted nothing more than to just give u then and there, a warmth wrapped around his hand and Roy's smiling face swam slowly into focus.

Roy was smiling despite being stressed out and just as scared as Ed. He was smiling just so Ed felt better. Ed tried for a smile, too, but ever succeeded in doing on that didn't end in a frown or a wince. He just wasn't strong enough.

Roy gave Ed's hand a light, reassuring squeeze. "You're doing just fine, Ed. Just a few more minutes then the doctor's going to be here. You can do that, right?"

Ed forced himself to nod. It might be impossible for him to smile right now, but he could nod and tell Roy that he was able to hold out against his panic and fear; his weakness and headache for a little longer.

If Roy could smile just for him, then Ed could nod just for Roy.

In a matter of minutes, the doctor came, just like how Roy predicted.

Dr. Colbert shuffled his way over to Ed and knelt on the floor beside the couch, his bag of supplies at the ready. "Hey there, Ed." Dr. Colbert used a surprisingly soft tone as he talked to Ed. "I heard you're not feeling well. Do you mind telling me what's the matter?"

Ed hesitated. The child cast a sidelong glance at Roy, waiting for permission to speak. He feared that if he spoke, he'd feel even worse, so that was why he'd tried to avoid talking unless absolutely necessary. When Roy, who stood not too far behind Dr. Colbert, gave a nod of his head, Ed knew he had no choice but to respond.

Instead of using his voice, Ed shook his head and frowned.

"Edward, I need t know what's going on if I can help you," Dr. Colbert urged gently. "Please, Ed. It's for your own good."

Ed whimpered. " M-my head."

Dr. Colbert frowned a bit. "So your head hurts?"

Ed nodded, hand drifting upwards until it grabbed his temple. His hand only remained there for a few seconds before another hand, this one larger, gently grabbed his wrist and guided the skinny limb downwards until it came to a rest on the blanket.

Dr. Colbrt looked closely into his eyes. Satisfied, he leaned back. "Well, you don't seem to have a concussion. Have you been eating properly?"

Ed admitted to the cold truth and have his head a small shake, surprising the doctor somewhat.

Dr. Colbert pat Ed lightly on the head. "You probably have a headache from lack of food. Try eating more."

Ed nodded slowly.

Dr. Colbert reached into his bag and pulled out a common tool that doctors usually used. A stethoscope. He pressed the cold metal against Ed's chest, earing a shiver from the sick child.

"Could you breathe in deeply for me?" the Doctor asked.

Ed did as he was told and breathed in deeply. The doctor, satisfied with Ed's heart, put the stethoscope away again.

"Well, you seem to be doing just fine." Dr. Colbert smiled and pat Ed's head again. "Well, I've got to g, but I'll be here tomorrow to check up on you. Try to get some sleep. It's the best thing for you right now." Dr. Colbert stood to leave, but turned back before he did. "And try to eat something soon."

The Doctor was just about to leave when Roy stopped him.

"Can I talk to you in the other room?" He asked, casting a pitied glance at Ed as he did so.

"Yes, of course."

Ed watched as Roy and the doctor left to go into the other room. After they were gone, Ed couldn't keep the fear an loneliness welling up inside of him. What was so secretive that Roy had to talk to the doctor in the other room? Why not in front of Ed?

Before Ed could get up and look, Al clanked into the room having waited in the other room during the doctor's visit. When the armor laid eyes on Ed trying to get off the couch, a sigh erupted form him.

"Sit still, brother," Al said impatiently. "You have to rest. The doctor told you to."

Ed agreed with Al, but not because of the doctors orders. He couldn't care less about what the doctor told him. The actual reason he was agreeing to his young brother was because he felt a sudden wave of weakness wash over him. It was like all of the gravity n earth was pushing him in a downwards decent. He couldn't hold himself upright. In the end, he ended up tipping sideways and hitting the back of the couch with a thump muffled by the cushions.

"Thank you, brother,' Al said, sounding relieved that Ed had actually listened to something for once in his life.

Now that the weakness had taken a firm grasp on his body, Ed was forced to lie on the couch in wait for Roy. Moving was too much work and only made him even weaker than before he tried. So lying still seemed like one of the best options now. Though, an option he didn't particular enjoy.

When the sound of a closing door echoed throughout the house, Ed knew that Dr. Colbert had left and that Roy was to walk into the living room any second now.

Just like Ed had predicted, Roy walked into the room, face full of worry that was etched onto his features. When he turned, Ed could see the concern evaporating off his face to reveal a smile beneath the worry.

"Edward, why don't you go back to bed and get some sleep?" Roy suggested helpfully, kneeling down beside the couch. "Come on. I'll carry you."

Ed refused, which surprised both Roy and Al greatly. "I can walk on my own," he whispered, voice scratchy and displayed his weakness perfectly.

"Are you sure about this?" Roy asked. "I don't mind carrying you."

Ed brushed him off. The boy knew he was weak, and he knew that it was impossible for him to do it. But something possessed him to walk to his bedroom, despite the obvious signs that he shouldn't. It was hard enough for him to just sit up, and now he had to walk.

Not to mention that he had to go up the stairs, where the gravity will try to pull him down.

He couldn't keep the nervousness away and he couldn't get away from the invisible ropes that tried to hold him back. He broke free and stumbled forward, nearly losing his balance multiple times in those first few steps.

Roy was holding onto Ed's arm just in case the boy fell, which seemed more than likely, considering Ed was barely holding himself upright in a frozen stance. When he walked, his balance was thrown off and he tilted sideways.

His feet shuffled across the ground, a sure sign that he was unable to lift them high enough. When the boy finally, after much struggling, made it to the stairs, he was left barely conscious. Every last ounce of his energy had been spent on the trip over here, and now there was only enough energy to barely hold him upright.

A shattered golden gaze eyed the stairs warily, trying to decide an approach to get up. But, no matter what he thought or decided, the outcome was the same, and he would fail very quickly. There was no way to do it.

"I can't," Ed whimpered, gripping Roy's sleeve as he san to the ground. "I can't."

"It's alright," Roy said softly "Just let me carry you up the stairs. It'll make no difference whether I carry you or you walk up. Come on." The Colonel's warm hands wrapped around Ed's frail form like vines, and, holding him tight, lifted the fragile boy off the ground and held him in a safe and warm embrace.

"There, shh, it's alight," Roy soothed, pressing Ed's head against his shoulder with very little force. Ed was so terribly weak that he couldn't even hold himself upright anymore.

As Roy began his hasty, yet calm ascent up the stairs, Ed tried his best to focus on the walls, or the floor, or anything that caught his eyes, but everything was distorted. His vision dark around the edges and blurry everywhere else. Nothing made any possible sense.

When he made it into his bedroom, he was lowered with care onto the soft mattress. However, just as Roy was about to pull away Ed's weak, shaky hand gave a small, barely noticeable tug on Roy's shirt sleeve. Luckily, he managed to gain Roy's attention.

"What is it, Ed?" He asked, thoughtfully.

"P-please d-don't go," Ed begged, voice raspy and weak. He could barely even hear himself.

"Of course." Roy sat at the edge of Ed's bed ad gave the sickly boy a soft smile. He never received one back, however, Ed did manage to crawl over to Roy until he had curled into a tight ball at the mans side.

Ed, whos eyes were closed, didn't see it, but he felt Roy softly petting his hair in a rhythm that made Ed drowsy. The boy couldn't supress the yawn that escaped him.

The small boy's eyelids felt heavy and were being pulled down to the point he couldn't even keep them open. Only small slits revealed his wakefulness, and even with that, he still wasn't very conscious. He kept having to force his eyes to stay open, despite his body's many shouting protests.

It was just too hard.

* * *

After Ed had fallen asleep, the Colonel prepared to move Ed into a more comfortable position,

Roy frowned because, upon moving Edward, the boy let out a barely audible, pained groan, accompanied with a small huff of air. Roy froze, unsure about what was causing Ed's discomfort and about whether or not he should move the boy anymore. If something hurt, than wouldn't moving aggravate whatever it was?

Either way, Roy new that if Ed were to sleep in the position he was in for the entire night, then he'd most likely wake up with stiff muscles and a sore neck. So, ignoring any protest Ed unconsciously stages, Roy gently slid his hand underneath Ed's head, shifting it to the pillow. Afterwards, he slowly moved Ed's tangled limbs until they were splayed out beside him. To finish it off, Roy laid a thin blanket over top of Ed's small, fever stricken form.

The frown remained plastered on Roy's face well after he finished the task. It was just impossible to smile now, at a time like this. It would be cruel if he smiled. G would look like he enjoyed seeing Ed like this. And that was something he would never be happy or content with. All he wanted was for Ed to be better and out of the bed. He wanted Ed to be free from the sickness that bound him like chains. He wanted Ed to be happy; not stressed and bed-ridden with fever.

Why was he so useless now, when it wasn't even raining. Was there nothing he could do to free Ed of his cell?

Roy shook his head, gaze sad and fixated on Ed, watching the small chest rise up and down; up and down. It was mesmerizing, watching the small, sickly boy breathing. Just knowing that he was doing even that was enough to lessen Roy's steadily increasing fear that something was going to happen.

But he held it back as he as forced to pry his gaze from Edward's still body as a small commotion suddenly arose. Standing by the bedroom door was Hawkeye, who must have been called by Al not too long ago. As Roy surveyed her, it became clear that she was nervous and had rushed over here immediately after hearing the news.

Her hair was down, which was a surprise, since he rarely left the house without putting it up. The coat she was currently wearing was hanging off of one shoulder, like she had quickly thrown it on and didn't bother to straighten it out.

The biggest giveaway was her face. Her skin was paler than it should be, and her eyes kept shooting from Ed to Roy as if waiting for an update on the boy's wavering condition.

"Hey, Lieutenant," Roy greeted stiffly, cracking a slight grin to ease the building tension in the room.

"Sir, I heard on the phone. How is he?"

Roy shifted his gaze back to Ed, the frown returning to his face almost immediately after doing so. "The doctor said he'll be fine after he gets some rest. But...I can't help but feel something as bothering him. Something he hasn't told anyone. I just...I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking things."

A hand landed on his shoulder gracefully, successfully pulling Roy out of his thoughts. "I'm sure he's fine. Just let him get some rest, and I'm sure he'll be fine tomorrow when he wakes up."

Roy sighed. "I hope you're right, Lieutenant."

Hawkeye sat down on the edge of the bed beside Roy and offered the Colonel one of her rare soft smiles. So Roy smiled back, though it may have been forced, he managed to make it happen.

Because he knew that Ed was going to get better. It was just a misfortune that Ed collapsed today. He'll be fine tomorrow, and that, Roy knew for sure.

* * *

 **A/N...And that was chapter 31! Thanks to BigChillFreak, Guest(1), Guest(2), I Had A Dream, Attackoneverything, Brenne, Cutiepie120048, 1animegal, Cather Elric, NekoRyuuKo, and KiyoshiWakeshima for reviewing! We're getting close to 300 reviews! (every review counts!) Almost there! Thank you guys so much! Two chapters everyone!**

 _ **I Had A Dream: I wish I could have responded to you personally, but since you're a guest I couldn't, but I really want to thank you for your review. I've read it over so many times, and each time I can't stop smiling. You're review made my day when I got it. I'm so happy that you love my story. Thank you!**_

 **So, that's about it! 'Till next chapter!**


	32. Chapter 32

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 32_**

That damn feeling all over again.

The relentless tugging on his conscious that never went away until he opened his eyes in defeat.

He hated it, every time he was deep in sleep, that whatever it was just had to go and tug him from the warm, serene darkness that enveloped him. It just had to wake him up when he was in the middle of a damn good dream. Why couldn't he ever just sleep without being disturbed?

A small, frustrated groan slid past his parched lips and into the open air. He just wanted to sleep. How hard was that?

The boy rolled over, burying his head in the pillow, and groaning loudly. However, the roan did nothing to get him back asleep. In fact, he was even more awake now because that damn groan had alerted Roy, who had apparently been sleeping in a chair beside Ed's bed the entire evening. And now that Roy heard that Ed was beginning to stir, he was going to wake him up until he was awake.

Maybe is he just stayed silent, sleep would whisk him away again. But no. He just had to go and make noise and wake Roy up.

"Edward? Hey, Ed," Roy whispered softly.

Ed tried to ignore him, but ended up failing when Roy gently began to shake his shoulder in a nauseating sort of way. Ed only ended up letting out another groan, which only ruined his attempt to pretend to be asleep.

"Ed, I know you're awake. So can you just please open your eyes," Roy pleaded softly, pausing in the slow shaking of the boy's shoulder. "Come on, what's the worst that can happen?"

Ed sank his head deeper into the and muttered, "The light can blind me."

There was a sigh, before, "The light's not even on. Just open your eyes and quit stalling."

Ed groaned before twisting around and, giving into the pestering, cracked open his eyes to slits, which, in turn, moved to glare at Roy. "What'd you want?"

Roy put his hands up defensively. As if Ed was in the shape to do anything harmful. What a laugh. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. You were talking a lot in your sleep."

At that simple statement, Ed's dream came rushing back. Previously forgotten until now, Ed had to go through the pain that he had felt while in the dream. The feeling as you watched everyone you cared about getting burned by a blue flame. On instinct alone, Ed pulled the blanket far over his head and turned away, wishing more than anything to be alone.

"Edward?"

"Go," Ed nearly gasped, slamming his eyes shut as he chocked out that single word. "Please. Just...just go."

"Is everything alright?"

No. Nothing was alright. But, Ed knew that he'd rather tell Roy, so he chose to hide it. To bury the pain deep down, ad burn the key along with the remnants of his dream. Far away, where no one could find it. Ed bit back a sob and managed to supress the army that threatened to invade. He did hell of a good job before Roy decided on the brilliant idea to force Ed to talk.

Doing that only brought upon the destruction of Ed's fortress, and made an easier opening for the enemy soldiers. It was a struggle to hold them back.

"Edward, are you alright?" Roy asked softly, reaching out with a hesitant hand in an attempt to land it on Ed's shoulder and gain his attention. It didn't work, for the second the hand hit the boy's shoulder, his head became buried in the pillow.

"Leave me alone," Ed muttered.

"Edward?"

"Go." Ed slammed his hands over his ears, blocking out all noise that surrounded him.

Why couldn't Roy just go? Why couldn't Ed, for once in his life, be left alone. He wanted nothing more than the rom to be empty, so why couldn't it happen? Why was Roy so persistent on getting Ed to respond that he would be willing to shake the boy to near insanity?

This time, when Roy's hand made an attempt to shake Ed once more, the boy slapped the hand away with little force. Maybe now he would leave him alone.

"Edward, please," Roy pleaded.

"No," Ed growled, voice muffled by the pillow. "Just go."

Why wasn't he going? Why? Why? Why? Ed couldn't' feel the tears in his eyes threating to spill. He wouldn't be able to hold them down much longer. Why couldn't Roy just hurry up and go? The boy bit his lip to prevent himself from crying. The small pinprick of pain in his lip could only keep him from crying for a short period of time. He had to get away.

But how?

He knew for a fact that doing so little as getting out of bed would be a struggle, and then there were the stairs he would have to walk down. He couldn't run away, and Roy wouldn't leave.

He was trapped and tortured by the tears that insisted on breaking free. He couldn't let them He couldn't.

But, he wasn't able to hold them back forever. When the first fell, Ed made a hasty attempt to wipe it away, but was clumsy doing so and alerted Roy that something was far from alright.

The Colonel, once again, reached out and touched Ed's shoulder lightly. Ed flinched at the sudden contact, for it caused him to be drawn back into the dream against, against his will, without any warning.

He was back there, where the smoke was thick in the air. The raging, unrelenting fire that devoured and burned everything in its wake. Ed scrambled to get out of the way, but too late. The fire reached, not him, but everyone he cared about. The flames lapped at their feet, preparing for the final move to kill and burn.

Ed tried to get to then, to save the, but he was trapped by a wall of flames.

Their pained yells and screams as everyone Ed had ever loved were being burned to death. And there was nothing, nothing, he could do.

Suddenly the fire vanished and the heat dispersed. was quiet. Ed thought he was dead, that the fire had consumed him, too. But he soon came to realize that the effects of the dream were wearing out and he was back in his room.

Roy was holding him carefully, tight to his chest, and trying to calm him down. It became apparent to Ed that he had been crying. The evidence being the wet tears that had ran, and continues to run, down his face.

It took him a moment to gather his pieces back together before he found himself clinging to Roy and sobbing into the man's chest. He just couldn't help it. He didn't know why he had suddenly remembered the dream, or why the lingering memory had been so vivid. What he did know, however, was that he wanted Roy. He needed someone to tell him everything was alright and that everything was going to be okay. He needed to be reassured that everyone he cared about was still alive and not a pile of ash. He needed Roy more than he knew, and he never wanted to let him go.

"Edward are you alright?" Roy whispered voice soft compared to the cracking flames that torched the land. "Did something happen?"

Ed nodded into Roy's chest, hand tightening its grip on the older man's shirt. "I-I r-remembered m-my d-dream," he whispered hoarsely, words coming out jumbled and shaky. "F-fire. It burned everything. T-there was n-nothing I c-could d-do. Th-they were all g-goin' to die."

"There's no fire. No one's going to die."

"Y-you sure?" Ed asked.

"Positive." Roy squeezed Ed a fraction tighter, and for whatever reason, Ed felt more at ease than he was seconds before. The young boy shifted slightly on Roy's lap in order to look into the Colonel's eyes, which were aimed, unwavering, at Ed.

A small, calming smile crossed Roy's face, but Ed's expression remained but the same. There was no change in his almost fearful expression, and the remnants of the tears littered his face. Ed never tried to wipe them away, nor did he care that the tears were there. Roy didn't judge him for how he looked or behaved anymore. He supported Ed and tried to the best of his ability to help Ed, no matter what it took.

Ed wanted to repay Roy, but couldn't think of any way to do so. Roy had done so much wile Ed suffered through illness, and the boy still couldn't think of a fair way to repay him.

"R-roy," Ed whispered after a long, unearthly pause. "Wh-where's Al? I haven't seen him."

"He's downstairs, Ed," Roy explained softly. "Do you want to see him?"

"No," Ed lied quickly, the word accompanied by a swift shake of his head. He wished that he didn't have to lie to Roy about something so small, but he had no other choice. The truth was, Ed really, really wanted to see Al, but he didn't want Al to see him like this. His little brother had been under enough stress lately because of Ed, and the blond didn't want to make it any worse than it already was. So, despite his mind screaming at him to correct what he said, he held it back.

Roy believed him, thankfully, and proceeded to ask Ed yet another question. The question itself wasn't what made Ed hesitate and become rather reluctant to answer. It was the tone of Roy's voice. Unsure, worried...scared? All of those added up together to make Ed wish that the question, which was so simple, was never asked, or even thought of, in the first place.

"Is there a reason you don't want to see Al?"

Why? Why did Roy have to ask that question? Ed's mouth opened ever so slightly, but it slammed shut with an audible snap seconds later. What was he to say? The reason, like every other time, was the same. He didn't want his little brother to see him the way he was. He didn't want Alphonse to worry over Ed. But, something deep down told Ed that Al was even more worried not knowing about Ed's condition. Maybe he should just re-tell Roy, what he had already said a hundred times.

Still, there was something holding him back. Something telling him to keep it to himself. But what was it? What was that strange feeling he got as he contemplated on telling?

His hesitation gained the unwanted, all seeing gaze of Roy, which never left Ed. The boy hesitated more now, than ever before. He just couldn't decide. It was too hard.

"Edward," Roy began, finally breaking the silence that had been suffocating the room. "If there anything, anything at all, that's bothering you, I want you to tell me. Alright? You don't have to tell me now, but when you're ready, I hope you'd admit to whatever you're hiding."

Finally, Ed didn't have to tell Roy. However, even though some of the burdened weight was lifted from his weak shoulders, something still managed to bother Ed.

There was something about what Roy said. He sounded far more serious than he had for the span of time Ed had shared a house with him. Did Roy know what as bothering Ed, but decided not to mention it? Did he say this to get Ed to openly admit his defeat without pestering him?

Ed just stared.

It was all he could do. He couldn't figure out the confounding mix of emotions on Roy's face, or the in deciphering tone in his voice. It was all too confusing, and each individual feature that may lead to an explanation behind it all, was overshadowed by an impenetrable mask, too sturdy to break through.

So Ed stared, in hope of coming closer to the truth behind Roy's words. But, the time came, several long minutes later, when he found that his pointless thoughts were going nowhere, and accomplished nothing but running into dead ends. In the end, he gave up, sighing as he did so as his way of falling before defeat.

A side-glance at Roy was enough to tell him that the older man was currently staring intensely at Ed, curiosity shimmering in the obsidian depths of his eyes.

Ed averted his gaze, wishing that he could forget the tugging frown that lay on Roy's face. The frown that, for some reason, thought that it had to be there. Ed frowned himself.

However, that was until a hand landed on Ed's shoulder with the upmost grace. Ed found himself drawn to the face above him, as if in a trance.

The face, which moments before, had been donning a tugging frown, but now, that same face held a natural smile, which softly graced the fine featured of the face. Just seeing this was enough to make Ed, if only a moment, smile as well. However, just as soon as the smile found itself crossing Ed's face, the boy quickly wiped it away, to instead plaster a frown there instead.

He shouldn't be smiling. He knew that his reason for smiling at that moment to be a sin was stupid, he still followed through to what his very soul screamed at him. He didn't want to smile, no matter how hard his lips threatened to pull upwards. He'd do anything to keep from smiling, even if it made him feel better. He didn't; want to smile. And he wouldn't smile.

He just wanted to be well again.

How much was that to ask?

He felt like crying for being too weak to even get out of bed, and depending on everyone around him so heavily. He just wished things could be the way they use to be. With him and Al traveling all around Amestris. But now look at the two of them.

Al was no doubt worrying himself senseless over Ed, and Ed was bedridden with illness. The young blond had to be watched over and carried. At times he didn't even have enough strength to lift himself out of bed. It was pathetic.

But, what else was he to do? Right now, if he tried getting out of bed, there was a high possibility that he would fall out of bed. And that would only end up making him seem even weaker, and a lot more pathetic. Hell! Roy would probably force him to stay in bed if he knew that Ed was far more weak than he was letting on.

"Edward," Roy began, breaking the many moments of stressed-filled silence. "Why don't you get some sleep?"

Ed immediately, without any form of hesitation, nodded his head and allowed Roy to shift him onto the bed. If he was so dependant on Roy, then maybe he could allow Roy, for one last time, care for him before Ed made sure he got better.

The Colonel carefully shifted Ed on the bed, gingerly as if handling a priceless antique vase. When he draped the blanket overtop of Ed's frail body, it came down so lightly that Ed barely registered that it was there until it had fully settled.

The boy managed to make one last for of eye contact with Roy before shutting his eyes and curling up in an attempt to get into a more comfortable position. Hopefully sleep will whisk him away quickly so he could leave the room and everything behind, but he knew that was unlikely.

He was far from tired. It was hard to even just lie there without squirming around, and naturally giving away his restfulness. He felt weak, sure, but that didn't always mean he was tired. He could be weak and feel wide awake and unable t sit still. The weakness that clung to him was the only thing that kept him down and prevented him form moving.

Ed could hear Roy's retreating footsteps leaving the room after several minutes of silence. D figured that the Colonel thought Ed to be asleep, since his breathing was shallow and he wasn't moving at all. How wrong Roy was.

Ed opened his eyes once he was positive he was along, and shifted himself to his back, where he stared at the roof.

He wondered when, and if, Roy was going to pester him again about what was supposedly bothering him. But, even as he was thinking that, one question pushed its way to the front of Ed's consciousness and demanded it be solved. There was one thing that puzzled Ed more than anything else.

Why did Roy leave?

Usually when Ed fell asleep, Roy stayed by his side. He knew that because whenever Ed woke up, Roy was there. There was no telling when Ed could wake up, so he must have been staying by Ed's bedside all night. But, why did he leave now?

Ed still, no matter how hard he thought, couldn't figure it out.

There was only one thing to do.

He had to figure it out for .

So, Ed rose out of bed with a fair bit of difficulty and stumbled to the door. He made sure to land his feet as softly as he could against the hardwood flooring so he wouldn't be found. It was a difficulty task, since his automail foot clanked against the ground no matter how soft he set it down. It was going to be difficult to sneak out of the room with a foot that loud, Ed figured.

He made it out of the room as silently as he could and got down the stairs without falling/ However, on the trek down the stairs Ed found himself clinging to the railing so he didn't tumble down the steps. When he finally, at long last, stepped off the last step, he crept through the house until he heard voices. Soft and hushed despite thinkin that they were the only ones in the room.

Ed snuck forward until he managed to steal a glance into the , his eyes connecting to the back of Roy's head and Al's armor. The boy quickly hid behind the wall in order to keep himself hidden. It was impossible t eavesdrop if the person knew you were there.

The boy turned in as best as he could to the conversation. However, despite his best efforts, the voices sounded too distant and like they belonged to a static filled radio. The words he managed to make out were far and few between. And what he did hear made no sense if put together. He wanted to give up, and go back to bed, but he had to know what Roy was saying, or at least find out why he suddenly left mere seconds after he thought Ed had fallen asleep.

He listened closer, still, intent on the conversation being held not far from him. But the voices were still too faint to hear. He grit his teeth in frustration and pressed his ear against the wall.

There, he could hear the voices a little more clearly, but they echoed as if in a cave or underwater. The voices were louder, but still too distant to make out. A few more words managed to reach him, but even those were too vague and far between to make any sense out of.

Ed pulled from the wall, frustrated, and shut his eyes, wishing that eh could hear whatever damned thing Roy was saying. Ed felt like stomping his foot on the round, but stopped himself from doing so. The noise would alert Roy and everything would go down the drain.

A brief idea passed through his mind, but he pushed it away, deeming it stupid. Confronting Roy didn't seem like the greatest idea. Ed was trying to figure out what they were saying. Getting caught wasn't part of his plan.

So, what now?

Ed breathed out a silent stream of air, his substitute for a sigh. He couldn't' risk making any noise if it as possible. If he did, than he would surely be caught. He wondered briefly what Roy's reaction would be if he found Ed out of bed, but the boy couldn't decided between shocked, angry, or surprised. Perhaps a combination of the three. Possibly more. He didn't want to think about it.

Everything suddenly went silent. The voices which had previously been muttered whispers had vanished. But that wasn't the worst thing.

Footsteps.

Footsteps that echoed through the silent interior of the house, getting closer and closer.

Ed froze. What was he going to do? If he stayed where he was, he'd ben caught within seconds. There wasn't any time to run. Nowhere to hide. Before Ed even had a chance to think about his next more, a figure rounded the corner and stopped dead in his tracks.

That dark, obsidian gaze hit Ed and stayed there, studying the boy with surprise gleaming in his eyes. There was another long moment of silence, in which Ed found himself wishing that he had dashed away when he had the chance. The boy was cornered like an animal, huddled in fear for what was going to happen. His golden eyes wide with terror.

Ed took a hesitant step back, then another and another. He just wanted to get away. Maybe he still had a chance. The door wasn't too far. He could make it out if he ran. A few hours away might change something, right?

However, Ed found his feet rooted to the ground, and himself unable to move. He just couldn't find himself able to run away when his many questions may get answered if he stayed.

Ed noticeably jumped when a hand land don his shoulder, and is attention was brought upwards, into the waiting eyes of Roy.

"What are you doing up," Roy asked, genuinely surprised and confused. "You were sleeping last I checked."

Ed lowered his gaze, guilt washing over him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "You left, and I didn't know why. I followed you and...what you just talking about?"

There, he said it.

But now what?

The silence, once again, stretched out until Ed felt like giving up. But then, finally, Roy spoke up above the vast silence that suffused the room.

"How about we go into the living room," Roy suggested softly. "I'll explain it to you in there."

Ed gave a nod of his head before slowly following Roy with his head low.

The boy's mismatched footsteps echoed loudly on hardwood flooring that was common in the house. Ed avoided all forms of eye contact as he entered the living room and was greeted kindly by Al, who was surprised. However, despite Al being his younger brother and only family, Ed found himself ignoring the armor and turning away as he sat upon the soft cushions that belonged to the ouch he most often slept on. Roy took a seat beside Ed, inches away.

Ed, like with Al, turned his head away and grew grateful for is long bangs, who did great when it came to shielding his face and hiding his emotions.

"When did brother wake up?" Al asked Roy, probably having realized Ed wasn't going to talk.

"Apparently, according to Ed, he never did fall asleep in the first place," Roy explained, sounding more surprised than anything.

"Brother?" Al asked, directing the question to the silent Edward, who wished that he never left his room in the first place.

The boy turned away, desperate to hide his own guilt for intruding on what seemed to be an important conversation. Why couldn't he just go back to bed and hide away from the world for a bit? But he knew better than that. With the way both Al and Roy stared at him, as if expecting him to do something, escape seemed to be impossible.

"Edward, Alphonse is trying to talk to you," Roy spoke up, words only adding to Ed's growing feeling of guilt and defeat. "Aren't you going to answer him?"

Ed grit his teeth and curled his flesh hand into a fist. His fingernails dug into his palm with the same sensation of a needle. The small pinprick of pain didn't bother him in the slightest. The pain was small and easy to ignore. He didn't even register the pain until he noticed that his fingernails were igging into his flesh hard enough to leave little indents in his skin.

"Edward? Hey, can you hear me?"

Ed, once again, purposely ignored the question. Hat was there to say? Nothin, not even some vague excuse for a thought, floated to the surface for his mind. It was just blank.

A noticeable flinch passed through Ed's body when the sudden warmth of a hand blossomed to life on his shoulder. He spun around, eyes wide, face pale. The boy's startled gaze met Roy, who remained calm despite the sudden actions Ed took because of the contact.

"Are you alright?" Roy began, hand tightening its grip ever so slightly on the boy's shaking shoulder.

Without hesitation, Ed slapped the hand away with his metal fist and ignored the surprised, wide gaze that Roy gave him. Thankfully, the Colonel didn't mention the violent action, and instead moved away to give Ed more space, which the boy was grateful for. He hated being trapped when all he wanted was to be alone. But, he'd still rather be alone in a room, without the burning gazes of the people he cared for most fixed on him. He just wanted to be alone. How hard was that?

It was apparently very hard. There was no way to escape unnoticed, and even if he managed, his missing presence will be very quickly noticed. Ed played with the end of his shirt subconsciously, trying for anything to distract himself from what was currently happening.

"Edward, I want you to listen very carefully," Roy spoke u, voice stern. "And I want you to fully think about your decision before making it. Whatever direction you choose to go will affect your future drastically. Will you listen?"

Ed turned, gaze fixing on Roy. A word was never spoken verbally, but Roy knew Edward enough to see the waiting, intent light that shone brightly in the striking golden eyes.

"The Fuhrer has decided to give you one last chance on your assessment," Roy began, each succeeding word sounding rather reluctant as it came to light. It sounded as if Roy didn't want Ed to continue working for the military. But why would that be? "When he said 'last chance', he didn't mean it lightly. If you pass out again ten your state license will be revoked. He said you won't have to do it until you're ready." Roy sighed heavily, like saying all this was hard on him. "No one will judge you if you back down now. I'm not saying that you shouldn't continue working for the state, I just think that leaving the military may be best for you. But, it's still your choice. If you choose to do it, the assessment will he be held next week on the 20th."

Ed didn't know what to say. Lately, all of his attention and energy was focused on getting better. He hadn't even thought of having another assessment. Just the thought of standing there, in front of the Fuhrer President again was enough to make him feel nervous. Why shouldn't he be? The last assessment he had caused him to faint. How was he certain he wasn't going to pass out again. What if he was still too weak to use Alchemy?

"Edward, you don't have to decide now," Roy spoke up. "Give it some thought. Think it over a bit before making the decision."

Ed gave his head a hesitant nod. He'd give it some thought. He cold decide later. It wasn't as important now as it was to get better. He'll decide once he was strong enough. When he could use his alchemy without having all the strength drained from his body. Soon. To him, the answer was foggy and shrouded in mist. But he knew that, if he just waited, he'd decide what to do. He'd walk the path that would change his life, for better or worse.

* * *

 **A/N...And that's chapter 32!**

 **One more chapter left! Who's excited!**

 **Anyway, a big thanks to AKAnime, Guest, Dragneel777, Pyromaniac Cat, Attackoneverything, Brenne, DamenTheDiamond, f . tastarossa, Cather Elric, I Had A Dream, and KiyoshiWakeshima for reviewing! Almost at 300 reviews! So close! I think we can do it!**

 **Alright, I think that's about everything. So, yeah. Until the next and final chapter!**


	33. Chapter 33

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist_

 ** _Chapter 33_**

Damn it!

Ed felt like screaming that at the top of his lungs for all the world to hear but knew better than to do so. If he did, then he would wake Roy up, who woke up easily to any sudden noise. So, Ed just shove his face into a pillow and ground his teeth in growing frustration.

Three days have passed since Roy had told him to make a decision whether or not to stay a Stare Alchemist. The answer seemed easy, right? He should just stay in the military so he could do more research and find a way to get Al's body back to normal. But, it felt as if something was holding him back from that path. A force stronger than himself. An obstacle that he couldn't walk past. Deep down he knew one thing: that he didn't want to stay in the military. The only reason that he did was for the research, but now he didn't even know if he would ever have enough strength in his weakened body to do enough research or travel to the library frequently. Hell! He didn't even know if he would be able to even pass the assessment, considering that he passed out the last time he tried.

He just couldn't decide.

Over the past three days, Ed spent most of his time alone in his room, either lying in bed or pacing the floors. Always deep in thought. Currently, it was very early in the morning, so Ed was lying in his bed, on his stomach, with his head smashed into a pillow. A low, barley audible groan somehow managed to force its way out of him. Soft enough that it didn't echo around the house, but loud enough that Ed heard it clearly.

Lately, Roy had ceased with his nightly watches of Ed, and just let the boy sleep alone in his room without any eyes watching over him. Not even Al stayed in the room as he slept. Roy slept on the couch, since there was only one bedroom in the house, and Ed had taken his bed, which was always comfortable.

Ed enjoyed being alone, but at times he found it quite lonesome. It wasn't like he wished someone was in there with him, he Add to dictionary kind of missed Roy's smile, which Ed had been seeing less and less of lately.

A part of Ed wished that Roy would be in the room more often, and spend more time with him, but at the same time, another art of him thought differently. The other part of him wanted nothing more than to be alone, without any company or presence besides his own to accompany him.

Now that he was alone, it gave him more time to think things over, and wonder about other things. If Roy was in there, than it would have been downright impossible to think. So, maybe there was an upside in him being alone. Maybe...

Hell!

Ed removed his head from the pillow and glared at the faint traces of moonlight that spilled into his room. There were without a doubt a few more hours left before the sun came up, judging by how the moonlight spilled across the floor. Perhaps he should get some sleep, Ed decided.

So that's why, within half an hour, soft snores filled the otherwise silent room.

* * *

Ed doubled over, hand pressed against his stomach. He hacked the contents of his stomach onto the clean floor, wishing it to be over. Everything around him was nothing but a far off blur with no real meaning. At the very edge of his awareness, he knew someone was trying there hardest to communicate with Ed, who didn't seem like he was going to answer any time soon.

He torture continued well after every last but of his stomach was on the floor, and all he was doing was dry heaving. Ragged breaths shook his body and the world spun around without any relent. It felt like he was going to be sick again, but there was nothing left in his stomach.

"There, now," a voice, just barely in his level of awareness, said softly. "It's alright. Relax. It's over now. Here." Ed felt himself being moved at a very slow pace until he found himself leaning heavily against someone. "Just relax. Don't worry, it's alright. You'll get stronger eventually."

Ed nodded, though he didn't really piece the words together enough to actually know what was being said. To him, it sounded like a bunch of random words pulled out of a dictionary and red in whatever order. In other words, it made no damn sense.

With his senses slowly drifting away, Ed never registered the fact that someone as wiping the sour bile off his face, or the fact that he was being moved some place else. He was just barely managing to stay in this level of consciousness, that it became truly impossible to pay attention to anything else. The only think his mind managed to succeed at was holding to the thin string. Nothing more.

"Edward, can you hear me?" The voice came out clearer than every other tone and syllable said before, but it still made very little sense to Edward, who, once again, was clueless on how to answer. So, he sat there, limp, mouth hanging open ever so slightly, but never made any attempt to speak.

"Edward."

This time the word made sense. His name. So Ed groaned with the recognition of the sewn together words with a small grunt, loud enough only for the person right next o his to hear.

"How are you feeling?"

Why ask him this? Of coarse he felt terrible. Was there no clue that he felt this way? Or was the person just stupid. Either way, Ed couldn't find it in himself to answer the question. He just couldn't think properly or move his lips the way he needed them to. He didn't ignore the person intently just for the purpose to be rude, he just didn't have the strength in him to form words.

"Why don't you get some sleep?"

It dawned on Ed, for the first time, that he was lying on something soft and warped in something fluffy. It baffled him that he had missed this major detail, but he cut himself some slack, since he just threw up on his bedroom floor. His mind was probably messed up. Yup, that was it. He was probably messed up.

"Don't wanna," Ed whispered. He slowly tucked his knees up to his chest in a way that wouldn't irritate his stomach any more than it already was, and let out a huff of air.

Through the haze of nausea, Ed felt a hand land on his head and pull back the hair which had fallen in front of his face. "Just sleep. You're not going to be able to stay awake much longer. I'll stay right here. I won't leave."

Ed never responded to that. The reason wasn't that he was being rude or just didn't want to talk to Roy. The reason him reply never came was because he was already out cold by the time Roy spoke his first word.

* * *

Roy sat beside Ed's bed, lips pulled into a frown. He hated seeing Ed like this. So weak that he couldn't even lift himself out of bed. And it was all Alchemy's fault. If Ed hadn't insisted to try a transmutation then he wouldn't be in this mess. The second the boy's hands were throw together, Roy could see the waver in the boy's eyes, like he knew he shouldn't be doing this.

Edward had tried a very simple transmutation. Nothing more than changing the original shape of a roc Roy ha picked up in his backyard. However, seconds after the transmutation began, Ed had suddenly collapsed to his side and vomited violently on the floor.

Roy managed to get the boy to calm down, after a panic had consumed the small body. Now Edward's fever had returned, not to mention that he hadn't woken up once since the transmutation, which he did yesterday. Staying unconsciousness for an entire day just because of a transmutation wasn't often heard of. Roy never recalled hearing anyone even losing consciousness when transmuting, Only Edward, who's body was Add to dictionary too weak to use any energy.

Roy grit his teeth and let out a sharp outtake of breath. How was he going to pass on the news to Ed? How? It would break the small boy's heart if he found out? Damn it! Why did all this have to be happening to Ed now? He did nothing wrong. Edward's sins were nothing compared to Roy's many mistakes. Edward, in desperation, tried to bring his mother back, and then lost his brother, who he only managed to yank back his soul and stiff it in a behemoth suit of armor. Roy went to war and took many lived, saving none. He destroyed city's and set fire to homes. He set fire and burned children alive. And what did Roy get out of it? He got promoted because of murder and gets paid highly because of his job. But Ed, who saved a life, has been to hell more times than one? What is the world coming to? To Roy, it seemed, that every criminal, murder, robber, and every single damn person that broke the law, had been given better lives than Ed had, despite being nothing but a young child. How was that fair?

Roy extended his head with the slightest bit of hesitation and ran if across Ed's sweaty forehead, frowning. His eyes drifted downwards to the thin blanket which was draped overtop of Ed's shivering, fever-stricken body, soaked with sweat which ran down his skin.

"Poor kid," Roy whispered. He soundlessly picked the drying cloth off of Ed's forehead, startled to find that the previously freezing cloth was warm to the touch, and soaked it in the bowl of icy water on the bedside table. Roy used the old washcloth to wipe at Ed's face in decreasing hopes of cooling him down.

It worried Roy that Ed's fever had only gone down the slightest since the previous day. What made it even worse, was that Ed hadn't regained consciousness either. Roy told himself that if Ed didn't wake up today, than he was more than likely going to be taking Ed for a small trip to the hospital.

"Damn it," Roy growled, laying the cloth on top of Ed's forehead until he had to re-wet it. "Please wake up, Ed. Please."

Roy sighed and shook his head, eyes closed. What am I saying? It's not like he can hear me.

Roy opened his eyes slowly and looked down at Ed, who stared back. Wait! Stared back? Roy blinked, and sure enough, Ed's gaze was fixed on Roy. Though, his golden eyes were glazed over and unfocused. But he was awake!

Roy forced himself to contain his excitement and stay calm so he didn't scare the kid back to sleep. Speaking as softly as he could, Roy asked Ed how he felt.

It took several long seconds that felt like hours, but soon enough, Ed just shook his head. No.

"Are you thirsty? I can get you some water," Roy offered.

Again, just like before, Ed gave his head a slight, barely noticeable shake, which would gave gone unnoticed if Roy didn't have his gaze solidly fixed on Ed. The older man frowned at the response but decided not to force the boy to do anything he didn't want to do. So instead, Roy just landed back in his chair and stared over at Ed, never once removing his gaze from the golden haired boy.

Ed stare dup at the room, slowly blinking every few seconds or so, a look of confusion on his face. The boy's featured were that of someone who was immensely confused, with his eyebrows knitted together, and his teeth unconsciously digging into his lower lip. Roy sihed and reached forward, taping Ed lightly on the cheek with the back of his hand.

This action, thankfully, gained Ed's attention and caused the boy to look over, wearing the same confused mask he wore seconds before.

"Edward," Roy began, drawing out each syllable in turn so the sick boy could understand. "I really think you should drink some water."

Ed gave Roy a worn out look, obviously understanding and not wanting to drink. However, Roy knew that Ed needed to drink something. After vomiting up everything, he hadn't drank anything. Roy could tell, just by looking at Ed, who's lips were dry, needed something to drink.

So, without the boy's permission, Roy reached to the bedside table and grabbed the tall glass of ice water Alphonse had been refilling since yesterday. Every ten minutes or so, the armor had come with a new galas of ice cube filled water and replaced the previous one with it. The one currently being held in Roy's hand was Add to dictionary fresh, having been brought in minutes before.

Slowly Roy guided the straw forward until in was in front of Ed. "Just take something, even a sip is fine."

Ed looked like he wanted to protest, but decided Add to dictionary it and allowed the bent straw to enter his mouth. Roy watched, happily, as Ed drank slowly.

One sip.

Two sips.

Ed pulled back after two sips and fell back into the pillow, looking even paler than before, and as if he had just run a mile. Roy set the glass back onto the table with a clink, and pat Ed's head softly, feeling the greasy strands underneath his bare hands.

"Thank you for drinking," Roy thanked with a smile. "Did it taste good?"

"C-cold," Ed whispered, voice no more than a pathetic whisper with a stutter. The boy tried to burrow himself under the blankets but failed to do so, being unable to grasp the edges of the blanket in his small, trembling, mismatched hands.

Roy, with yet another sigh, pushed Ed's hands away from the seam of the blanket and pulled it over the boy himself, unable to watch the futile attempts to get warm any longer.

"There, is that better?"

Ed gave his head the slightest of nods and closed his eyes, shielding the gold. Roy wanted to smile, but ended up frowning in the end. He just hated seeing Ed like his. His pale face dull against the light sheets, his golden hair a tangled mess, free of a ponytail or braid, bright against the pillow, yet dull at the same time.

Roy found himself unconsciously petting the side of Ed's face, lips pulled into a frown, gaze sad. Ed didn't so much as stir at the light movements, he never even looked. He stayed motionless, still as a statue.

"Good night, Edward," Roy whispered, despite knowing full well that it was morning.

* * *

A hammer banged loudly on the door to his consciousness, forcing him out of his slumber. He wanted nothing more than to burrow back in the darkest depths of sleep, but the noise was only growing louder, invading his thoughts as a pounding pain in his temple.

Ed groaned in discomfort and rolled over in the bed, head moving to be buried in a pillow. A few seconds later, after the pain in his head increased, Ed forced himself to sit up and pry his face from the pillow, which he did rather reluctantly.

The sunlight streaming through his window was harsh and blinded him. His hand went up instinctively to cover his eyes, and not so successfully blocking out the sun.

Then it dawned on him. Where was Roy?

Ed distinctively remembered waking up at one point and seeing Roy, so where was he now. Surely he didn't abandon him. No. He couldn't have done that. He wouldn't. He didn't.

Ed didn't know what to think. Should he go downstairs and see if Roy was there? But what if he wasn't? What if the house was empty. What if Al left, too. What if there was no one left? Was Ed all alone now? Was he going to have to be like this forever?

Ed shook his head roughly, but that only brought upon the pain in his head. "Damn it," he muttered under his breath as he rose to a shaky stance. Unsteadily, he made his way to the door, surprised he didn't lose his balance and fall on the way, and when he finally got there, he opened the door and ran straight into Roy. Seriously.

His face smashed right into Roy's chest. It wasn't painful, but it startled Ed enough to cause him to fall backwards and land on the floor, which was painful. It took him a moment to remember what had happened and push aside the angry mob of a headache before he looked up at Roy, who was looing surprised as well.

"Edward? What are you doing up?" Roy took a few steps forward and knelt down right beside Ed, who still hadn't regained himself enough to get off the cold, hard floor. "You're suppose to be sleeping."

Ed slapped on a fake grin and said, in the most joking voice he could muster, "I've never liked to follow orders."

Roy only sighed, but managed his own smile after a few seconds. "Sick and still rude as ever."

Ed pouted. "Still annoying as ever, even though you're talking to me, who's sick."

Roy shook his head. "Come on, let's get you back to bed. You're looking rather pale."

Ed agreed, but not because Roy said so. The one and only reason he agreed to get back in his bed was because of the ever increasing ear splitting headache that was blooming to like in his head. Every passing second added a little bit more fuel to the fire that tore at his brain. Ed's head his chin as his body fell to the side, only to be caught by Roy before he hit the ground. Every sound slowly became more and more distant, and as if underwater. He tried his damned hardest to focus on one distinct sound, but it was all jumbled together, impossible to pick apart.

Roy face swam into focus above his own, concern etched all over his featured. His hand was extended and obviously checking for fever, and judging by Roy's easing face, his forehead wasn't warm. Or at least wasn't burning.

Ed tried to focus on Roy's moving lips, but was confused when words never accompanied the. Was Roy even trying to talk. Ed reached a shaky hand upwards, only for it to fall down a second later as a wave of weakness washed over him.

He could feel himself being moved now, but even that was just barely being registered. Through squinted eyes, Ed struggled to focus on any of the many blurry images and forms that seemingly floated around him, like multi-colored clouds. Were those even a thing?

Ed shook his head but that only, just like the last time, brought about another crashing wave of pan to his skull, who was now resting against something soft and rather fluffy.

Slowly, after realizing that he was out of Roy's arms, he pulled his knees up to his chest and pressed his forehead between them. IN the far distance, Ed became aware of a hand on his back, n then petting his hair. He became faintly aware of a voice whispering something to him. At the edge of his consciousness, he became aware of a black fog that threatened to block out his vision.

The fight to stay awake became harder with each second that dragged on. Ed could hear his heart beating in his head, and the pain slowly taking over. It was like he was being separated from the world by a large, towering, black wall, that grew in size with each seconds. Ed couldn't ight it anymore. He was too weak, and the difference in power was too great.

His eyes slid closed, the darkness consuming. Then...nothing.

* * *

Another day passed, bringing the dreaded date of the assessment even closer. Ed had decided to try the assessment, even though he knew he was still far to weak to do it. Alchemy just took way too much out of him.

The truth was, he was scared. Scared that he would make a fool of himself in front of the military, and pass out on the floor again. He didn't want that to happen. But he didn't know what else to do. He had to stay in the military no matter what. However, the assessment was currently the biggest obstacle in his way, and he wasn't even sure he'd be able to pass it.

There was still a lingering weakness from the last time he had tried to transmute, and he wasn't even sure he wanted to try again.

But there he was, sitting, cross-legged o the living room floor at Roy's house, staring down at the grey and brown mottled stone from Roy's backyard. Roy sat beside him, holing his shoulders as if assuming Ed was going to fail and pass out.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Roy asked.

Ed couldn't find the words he so desperately needed and only managed to give his head a slight nod. With his gaze fixed upon the uneven stone, he began hearing his heart beat loudly in his head like a base drum. What if he failed again? What if he couldn't transmute? No, don't think about that.

Ed released a shaky breath and hung his head. "I'm ready."

Roy gave his own head a curt nod and held his arms out in preparation to catch Ed if he fell.

The boy threw his hands together, thought up both a transmutation circle and what he wanted to transmute the rock into, before placing his palms against the cold surface. Immediately transmutation sparks raced along the surface and cracked like angry whips. Ed could feel his energy being sapped out of him, and his vision blurring.

But he wasn't going to give in just yet.

Narrowing his eyes, Ed watched as the rock slowly took on a new form, a simple triangle, which had been the fist thing he had thought of. Seconds after the transmutation had began, the sparks disappeared.

The entire room began to spin at forces too great. Ed's breathing grew significantly laboured and pain blossomed to life in his head. The room began to tip like a capsizing ship and Ed felt air roaring in his ears.

Thankfully, he was caught before he hit the ground and held in the same embrace of Roy's arms. The Colonel looked concerned and worried about Ed suddenly collapsing, but the boy managed to crack a smile and push himself away form the older man the second his head stopped spinning.

The blond sat on the ground, crossed-legged, and grinning at his accomplishment. Not only was he still conscious, but a perfectly transmuted cat. Well, not entirely a cat. There weren't any facial details, like eyes or a nose, and there wasn't any indication of fur, but there was a lack of the common transmutation marks and a relatively smooth surface. There was a distinct tail, and a muzzle was clear.

Ed gazed at his achievement proudly. He finally Transmuted. He finally manage to do it.

"Congratulations, Ed," Roy said, proud like a father addressing his son. He pat Ed's shoulder, a smile bright on his face.

"It's so cute!" Al announced, picking the stone cat up and staring at it. Ed knew that if Al could smile, he'd have the biggest smile on his face. "You did great brother!"

Ed blushed a light pink. "Thanks Al." He leaned his forehead against Roy.

"Edward."

Ed looked up after a several second delay. Roy was staring downwards, obviously worried about Ed. It was hard to miss the concern sparking to life in Roy's obsidian eyes.

"I want you to be completely honest," Roy began in a grave voice. "Do you think you'll be strong enough to do the assessment tomorrow?"

Ed cast his gaze downwards, not even sure himself if he was strong enough. Sure, he was able to preform Alchemy today without passing out, but he was still left incredibly weak and struggled to even sit up on his own. Tomorrow the date of the assessment, there would be no Roy by his side to catch him if he fell. He had to stay on his feet keep from passing out. Even a few minutes ago when he transmuted, he was barely able to stay conscious and fought just to keep his eyes open. How the hell was he going to do it tomorrow?

"I...I don't know," Ed admitted. "it was just luck I didn't pass out today, even though I felt fine in the morning. I'm not even sure if I'm going to feel sick or well tomorrow. It just don't know. I can't fail, I just can't. But...I'm scared."

"Don't worry about it, Ed," Roy said softly, pulling Edward into a hug. "If you were able to transmute today, then 'm sure you can do it tomorrow."

Ed nodded into Roy's shoulder and just barely managed stopped the light sob that threatened to escape.

* * *

It was the feeling he hated. The pounding heart and the small burst of pain that came along with each beat. The feeling of helplessness. The shortness of breath. I felt as if there was a stack of heavy bricks on his chest, restricting his breathing, for with each breath, not enough air came due to the pressure pushing his chest down. The shaking legs that seemed to be unable to hold his weight, and made it difficult to walk in a straight line.

At this moment he wished, more than anything else, that he could just escape and hide, where no one could find him. To be alone. To rid himself of all his built up emotions.

Edward case a glace upward, at Roy, who walked along side him, his own gaze fixed straight ahead. The man walked with long strides, which Ed had to take two steps in the time it took Roy to make one just to stay at his side.

Today was it. The last day Ed had to pass the assessment. If he failed, then he wouldn't be given another chance. Everything he had worked toward will be taken from him. Snatched away without ever giving him a chance. So he had to pass. He had to. If he was going to have any hope of restoring AL, he had to pass. For the better or worse, he had to succeed today.

As the two of them got closer to the room assessments were held, Ed found himself slowing down, unsure whether or not he could pass the assessment. He was, truthfully, scared.

"Roy." His voice came out nothing but a small, pathetic whisper. "I'm not sue I can do this."

The previously rhythmic pattern of footsteps had ceased, leaving Roy to stare own at Ed. The older man kneeled on the floor and put his hand in a firm hold on Ed's shoulders.

"Listen to me," Roy said slowly. "Don't doubt yourself. Alright? Al's counting on you to pass. And I know you can. So try your hardest, because I know you can do anything."

Ed found himself leaning forward and landing his head on Roy's shoulder. He didn't care if anyone was in the hall and saw him doing this. He didn't care if anyone, at this moment, that he was weak. Right now, all he needed was for someone to tell him what Roy just told him. And he got that.

Ed felt arms wrapping against his waist as he was pulled into a hug by Roy, who rested his chin on the top of Ed's head. "You can do this. I'll be there if anything goes wrong. But I know you'll do just fine."

"A-Alright," Ed whispered. He stayed in the hug for a few more short moments before pulling away. He wished that he could have stayed in that embrace forever, but knew he couldn't. There were things he had to do, and he was so close. It was now or never. "I'm ready."

Roy pulled away from Ed seconds after the decision and rose to his feet, Ed following the process. His legs still trembled as he walked, but he chose to ignore it instead of letting that stop him.

For the rest of the way to the assessment room, not another word was spoken. The constant sound of feet hitting the ground, and the heart pounding in Ed's ear being the only sound in the empty, lonely halls.

When they reached the door, the entrance to their destination, Ed felt himself hesitating about taking another step forward. Thinking that now was the chance to turn around and run away. It was easy, at this moment, to push Roy's hand away from the door handle, because once it was pulled open, Ed's fate was decided, and he wouldn't be able to go back down.

The hand reached out.

 _Stop him._

It came in contact with the golden brass.

 _Don't let him turn it._

It started turning.

 _Don't let it turn!_

The door creaked open.

 _Now there's no turning back._

Ed walked into the room, in wake of Roy, with hesitant, shuffling footsteps that could be heard echoing around the chamber-like room. It was cold in there, like a basement. A dark basement where danger lurked. A dark basement where unimaginable horrors happen. The basement where everything went wrong.

But it wasn't a basement no matter how you looked at it. The room where Ed currently stood was above ground, and illuminated by lights hanging high in the ceiling. The beams bouncing off the smooth, polished floor, like a ghost of the light.

Each and every footstep sounded like a firecracker on the hard floor. A sound that never went away.

The Fuhrer President stood on the opposite end of the room, sword handing from the scabbard at his side. Ed recalled that when he took the State Alchemists exam, the practical part, he pointed a sphere right at the Fuhrer's head. And the Fuhrer cut the sphere in half with a sword. Possibly the same sword.

"You'll do fine," Roy whispered in Ed's ear before straightening up and walking over to stand by he Fuhrer's side, abandoning Ed in the middle of the room.

Ed stare at Roy for several long moments, completely forgetting what he was trying, and about, to do. He was brought back down to earth when he heard the Fuhrers booming voice echo around the room. Ed didn't know what had been said, partially due to the fact that he wasn't listening in the slightest. But when he saw the impatient look the fuhrer was giving him, Ed knew that he had to begin,.

But what was he going to Transmute?

He could always do something simple, that wouldn't take much strength out of him, but because he failed the last time, shouldn't he di something more impressive. But if he did a transmutation like that, he might not be able to stand on his two feet after it was over.

Ed stared at the ground, thought for the briefest of moments, and an idea struck him. Something simple, that he had made before, and not too long ago. Something easy enough that he wouldn't lose his strength, but something he could put detail on with ease. Yes, he knew what he was going to do.

Ed threw his palms together, identified the matter he was dealing with, thought up a transmutation circle, and threw his hands to the ground.

It wasn't like before at all.

Not once, did his strength leave his body. Not once did he regret doing this. As the Transmutation proceeded, and the blue lightning crackled, Ed knew that he was going to pass. He knew that he was going to be able t complete this transmutation. He knew that he was going to make Roy proud of him.

The stone flooring morphed into a shape slowly, the sparks tracing and running along it. Seconds later, it took its distinct shape, and gained fine features.

Then he was done. He stood u, took a step back, and showed off his transmutation to both Roy and the Fuhrer.

The once polished, perfectly even ground was jutted upwards, going up for about a foot, before stopping. There stood a cat. A stone cat, made out of the same material as the ground. It sat, with its tail curled around its paws, its head looking in the direction of the bystanders, it's sightless, carved eyes fixed straight ahead.

Ed noticed the look on Roy's face. The shock in his eyes. The surprised stance. But overall, he looked proud. Proud that Ed completed this transmutation and continued to stand afterwards. Showing not the faintest sign of weakness or fatigue. Ed was standing tall, behind his creation, brimming with happiness, pride, and success.

Ed's happiness quickly melted away when he saw the Fuhrer walking forward, towards Ed and his transmuted cat. Deep down, Ed feared that the Fuhrer would think his transmutation was terrible and kick him out of the State Alchemist's program. However, the Fuhrer's first words were enough t cease Ed's worrying.

"I'm surprised," he began, looking downwards at the cat. "I didn't think you'd be able to do this, considering everything that's going on. But, I'm impressed, nonetheless. Great job. I forward to seeing you in action, Fullmetal."

Then the Fuhrer walked out of the room, no saying one word afterwards. Ed just stared at he left, trying to process what had just happened. The Fuhrer actually praised him for this? This cat?

"I...I passed," Ed whispered in disbelief, just loud enough for Roy to hear, for he stood right net to Ed.

"Congratulations, Fullmetal," Roy said happily, using Ed's military title instead of his name. It's been a while since he's done that. Roy reached out a hand and playfully tussled Ed's hair. "I'm proud of you for passing, and still being able to stand on your two feet." e smiled. "How about we go tell Al and Riza the news."

Ed nodded and followed Roy out of the room. When the two of them were walking down the hallway, Ed turned to Roy, a mischievous grin on his face. "So, Roy," he began, the grin never wavering. "Since when did you start calling Hawkeye 'Riza'?"

Ed couldn't help but notice at this moment the rosy tint that appeared on Roy's face. "I-I don't know what you're talking about," Roy said quickly. "Do you like dogs?"

"Don't try changing the subject." Ed's grin widened. "You love her don't you."

Roy's face began imitating a tomato. "N-no, I can't love her. She's my subordinate."

Ed took a few quick strides forward and turned so he was blocking Roy's path. "You just said you couldn't love her. You never denied that he do love her." This was getting fun.

"Damn it, I don't love her, Ed," Roy almost yelled. His face darkened to the color of Ed's signature red coat. "Now, just..stop it...please."

An idea too good to give up came to Ed and he was unable to supress himself. He turned on his heel and ran down the hallway, in the direction of Roy's office. Roy gave chase, but Ed was just too fast for him, despite just having recovered form illness. He burst into Roy's office, face broke into huge smile.

"Hawkeye, Roy loves you!" Ed shouted, startling Al and Hawkeye, who were just sitting around quietly, were now both staring at Ed in surprise, and in Hawkeye's case, shock.

Roy ran in after Ed and clamped his hand over Ed's mouth. "Don't listen to what he said."

Ed squirmed out of Roy's grasp and ran across the room. "You're blushing, Roy. And you called her Riza. And in the hall when I ask if you loved her, you said you couldn't because of your job, but you didn't say you didn't." He grabbed Hawkeye's hand and yanked her across the room to where Roy stood. "See, now you're both blushing!"

Hawkeye and Roy stared at each other for a brief moment before Roy turned to glare at Ed. He was lost for words. That's when Ed burst into laughter. He laughed harder than he had in so long. He laughed until it hurt. Until he was on his knees and barely able to breathe.

But, despite laughing, there was a reason he did this. He wanted Roy and Hawkeye to be together. He knew that they both had feelings for the other. He wanted them to be together because he wanted a mother. He had a new father, who loved his greatly but he wanted someone to go along with him. Someone kind like Hawkeye, to care for both him and Al. Hawkeye had shone, time and time again, that she cared deeply for the two brothers, like Roy, and Ed wanted to be with her forever.

After Ed's laughter ceased, he rose to his feet, grabbed Al's hand, pulled his over to where Hawkeye and Roy stood, and looked at the three of them.

"I passed the assessment," he began, gaze traveling over them. "And I want to continue my journey once I'm strong enough. But, I also want a home t come home to, where I have people who love me, and Al. What I'm trying to say is." He let out a breath of air. "I love you Roy, and I love Riza, too, and I don't want you two to leave me, or Al. I want the three of us to be together forever. And...I miss having someone to look up to. I forgot what it felt like to be praised until today. Riza, you remind me so much of my mom. And Roy, you're like the father I never had. And I...I want a family again."

Roya and Riza, along with Al, looked down at Ed, each showing their shocked surprise in a different way. Riza's yes were wide, Roy's mouth was open slightly, and Al was standing completely still, staring down at Ed.

"Edward," Roy spoke, voice soft. "I now what you mean and." He knelt down and put his hands on Ed's shoulders. The man cast a glance at Hawkeye, who gave a slight nod. "Hawkeye and I, we'll be honored to be your and Al's parents." He pulled Edward into a hug and held the boy there for a mew moments.

Ed let everything sink in fully. Honestly, he didn't know where that speech had come from, but he was glad he said it. It felt like an enormous weight had been lifted form his shoulders.

He pressed his head against Roy's shoulder, smiling. "Thank you. Everyone."

* * *

A few days after Ed's speech in the office, Hawkeye moved in with Roy, and they transformed Roy's study into a bedroom. Roy gave his own bedroom to Ed and Al, since Ed had grown use to sleeping there over the time he had been staying there.

By then, Ed was over his illness, and was slowly beginning to get himself back in shape before he began going on missions again. Though, he made sure never to over do himself so he didn't get sick again, since there was always a possibility.

Ed didn't get stressed at all lately, and he knew it was to do with the fact that he had Al with him, and had nothing to fear. He had a family, his brother, and a home to go home to.

Eventually, Ed began going on small missions, often accompanied by Roy, who had become fairly over protective since officially adopting Ed and Al. The adoption certificates were framed and proudly hanging up in the living room, bearing two names:

 _Edward Elric-Mustang_

And

 _Alphonse Elric-Mustang_

To tell the truth, Ed rather liked the name, and was proud to use it.

The days passed peacefully by, with nothing to go wrong. Until:

"Are you sure you're ready to go" Roy asked, once again. "You aren't feeling sick? Or tired? Are you dizzy at all?"

"I'm fine _dad_ ," Ed insisted. "Sheesh, you worry a lot."

"Well, I'm your dad now, and it's my job to worry."

Ed smiles and shakes his head. He pulled out his silver watch and checks the time. "Well, I'd better go if I want to catch my train. I'll be back soon mom, dad." He smiles again before turning around and walking down the front path with Al at his side. Before le left the property, he turned back. "I'll call you as soon as I can. See ya later." He throws his arm in the air as he turns and walks away.

"Bye Edward. Bye Alphonse."

Ed smiled as he proceeded to the train station, where he would catch the train to Lior.

He walked, with his bag in hand, and Al at his side, unable to hide the smile on his face.

For so many years, he had been without home and parents. It had been so long since he had felt the warm touch of a family member since his on blood relative was steel. He will never forget that day, when Roy and Riza took him and Al in and treated them as their own. But most importantly, he would never forget everything those two had done for him, when he was on deaths door. Ed knew that, if it weren't for those two, he would be long gone.

And for that, Ed would be forever thankful.

 _ **~END~**_

* * *

 ** **And done! After 7 months, this story has finally drawn to a close. Thank you to everyone who followed, favorited, and especially everyone who reviewed. It means so much to me that so many of you actually liked my story. 109** favourites **, 119 followers, and 298 reviews as of chapter 32. I am just so surprised that my story got so many review and had so many people read it that I don't know what to say.****

 _ ** **A huge thanks to:****_

 _ ** **Attackoneverything: thank you for reviewing every single chapter in this story since chapter one. Every chapter I posted, I couldn't help but wonder if anyone was actually going to read it, but I knew that I'd at least get one review from you.****_

 ** ** _I Had A Dream: Every time you reviewed on my story, it just made my day and one time I just loved your reviews so much. Your reviews for chapters 30, 31, and 32 made me o happy reading them that I came close to tears. Thank you so much. I really don't have the words to thank you_.****

 ** **Alright, now that the thank yous are aside, I have a few things to say about the last chapter. In case anyone was confused, the entire story takes play before the events of the**** ** **2003**** ** **anime. In the 2003 anime, Nina was killed when Edward was 12, before he becomes a state Alchemist. In the last chapter of this story, Edward and Alphonse ae heading to Lior like they did in both anime and the manga.****

 ** **Well, this was a long A/N. I guess that's all I have to say. Once again, I'd like to ask every single person who read my story, and I'd like to thank, in advance, for 300 reviews. So, After 33 chapters and over 130,000 words, this story has finally drawn to a close!****

 ** **Thank you for reading!****


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